to talk back or to not talk back. that is the question

[darthotaku]

so my stepdad is a a real asshole. long story short, if I ever stand up to him again I'll be thrown out of my house. now I've wanted to move out for a while so this isn't a big problem for me. now I can find a place to stay and leave quietly, or I can find a place to stay, talk back to him once, and leave after the inevitable fight (which I will probably lose, if not quite as badly as he thinks i would). this would pretty much ensure that he'd be left without his wife (my mother is pretty close to ending it anyway) and his biological son (who's mother is moving him pretty far away in a few weeks)

it'd be pretty much the worst thing I can do to him, and as I'm writing this mere minutes after his threat, I'm not sure I should be this much of a dick. should I just go quietly or should I take a little revenge on the man who threatens to put me through a window once a month, but hasn't actually done it?

 

[Dr Pussymagnet]

A lot of people will tell you to go quietly, but honestly it's probably not something for other anonymous people on the Internet to decide for you.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Me? Personally? Revenge. Show him that he can't hold his threat of authority over your head, and that you aren't afraid to step on a few toes that need to be stepped on.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

A lot of people will tell you to go quietly, but honestly it's probably not something for other anonymous people on the Internet to decide for you.

This. I don't know him, nor do I know you, so I don't know enough about the situation to decide.

However, IF it was me, and IF he is as much of an asshole to you and the rest of your family as you make out... Then yeah, I would fuck up his life and walk away with a smile on my face.

 

[Radeonx]

You only have one life. Don't take your anger or primary instinct to strike back at him. In the short run it may satisfy you but what of the long run? Your stepdad can change for the better or least regret how things are going due to his actions.

I suggest you calmly talk to him about your plans on moving out, and that you wish him the best (if you don't love him like a father). Am sorry about your situation by the way, and I usually get heat from my Dad too but remember this- if you treat him like how he treats you... you're just becoming another example of him. Don't go down that path. Talk to me in a PM if you seek more help. I'd be happy to help by any means bro.

I disagree with this greatly.
After growing up in a really fucked up living situation, I wasn't able to set things straight with my mean parent until I yelled them out of my life. Now, mine was literally abusive (So its a worse case scenario than yours), but from my experience, douchebags don't stop being douchebags until you smack them around a bit (This is metaphorically, obviously).

I'd say ***** him out. He is most likely NOT going to change because you talk nice to him, so I'd say go out with a bang.

 

[Dimitriov]

You should always stand up for yourself. If somebody pushes you and you respond that's their problem, and doubly so if their reaction to your standing up for yourself has a negative impact on them.

 

[DarthFennec]

I would leave without talking back. Not to be nice or anything, but to leave on your own terms instead of his. Kind of like quitting rather than being fired. Maybe if you feel like it you could leave a note that tells him how much of an ass he's been. But personally I would (... well, I did, in my time) be the better man and take the initiative to do what's necessary without resorting to any ridiculous drama.

Hope whatever you decide goes well ^^

 

[Powereaver]

id definately say talk back to him if he even thinks of making threats about putting you through windows and stuff if hes that much of an asshole he deserves the treatment he gives.

 

[Shadowstar38]

You only have one life. Don't take your anger or primary instinct to strike back at him. In the short run it may satisfy you but what of the long run? Your stepdad can change for the better or least regret how things are going due to his actions.

I suggest you calmly talk to him about your plans on moving out, and that you wish him the best (if you don't love him like a father). Am sorry about your situation by the way, and I usually get heat from my Dad too but remember this- if you treat him like how he treats you... you're just becoming another example of him. Don't go down that path. Talk to me in a PM if you seek more help. I'd be happy to help by any means bro.

I dont run into many people this caring and rational on the internet. Basically you should listen to this guy.

My dad was the same way but he eventually turned around. We are not exactly best friends but I feel like he's trying. A few years ago I would have done anything to fuck his life up but as I grew older I realized revenge is satifiying but doesnt do any good besides that one time power high.

 

[Radeonx]

You only have one life. Don't take your anger or primary instinct to strike back at him. In the short run it may satisfy you but what of the long run? Your stepdad can change for the better or least regret how things are going due to his actions.

I suggest you calmly talk to him about your plans on moving out, and that you wish him the best (if you don't love him like a father). Am sorry about your situation by the way, and I usually get heat from my Dad too but remember this- if you treat him like how he treats you... you're just becoming another example of him. Don't go down that path. Talk to me in a PM if you seek more help. I'd be happy to help by any means bro.

I disagree with this greatly.
After growing up in a really fucked up living situation, I wasn't able to set things straight with my mean parent until I yelled them out of my life. Now, mine was literally abusive (So its a worse case scenario than yours), but from my experience, douchebags don't stop being douchebags until you smack them around a bit (This is metaphorically, obviously).

I'd say ***** him out. He is most likely NOT going to change because you talk nice to him, so I'd say go out with a bang.

I would wish to debate with you, but seeing how you've had a much harder life then myself then I can't really say anything since I do have it pretty easy with my parents. However, will say one thing: Do you really wish to consider treating people bad just because they gave you a hard time? Not speaking about your dad and I truly am sorry how hard you had it (literally), but in life society would go downhill if everyone believed treat others poorly just because of being treated badly to begin with.

Martin Luther King Jr. is my best example. Spite racial issues (dramatically was an issue back then), where he was insulted, assaulted, limited to choices, treated worse then trash, his people too getting as much heat... he never believed in being a douche bag toward the aggressive crowd. Instead, he would be peaceful and preach about justice, rights of equality.. and not just for his people, but everyone including whites to settle together in harmony.
Now, this example can't be really exact with your life on how you've been through a heck of drama due to your parents... but if you treat people badly, like your dad... then you'll eventually become someone like him. Up to you, and not discarding your advise... I just want to note sometimes doing something back is worse then what they do to you if you know what I mean.

All he's doing is yelling at his stepdad. And given that his stepdad appears to have been a yelling at him type of guy for a while, I doubt he had any major impact on the OP. I don't think yelling at one person one time is going to send him down a gigantic path of douchebaggery.

 

[SidingWithTheEnemy]

Seriously? As those other ninjas already said:
This is the wrong place to ask.

Otherwise:
Don't use force, that's boring and won't be successful. Use cunning. Outmaneuver his moves against you. Be smart and outwit him, slowly undermining his aggressive stance against you. For him it will be much more difficult to have you at home and plotting than bitching and somewhere else. Especially if you're good at covering your tracks and keeping out of his reach. Paranoia can be a powerful force. Use it wisely.

 

[retyopy]

Go apeshit on him, then leave, giggling all the while.

Oh, fine, actaul advice. Leave quietly. Wish him the best, tell him you wish you could have known him better, give both him and your mom a hug, and leave.

 

[Silverfox99]

I would not do it for revenge, but for yourself and to apply consequences to his actions. This is a very subtle distinction but an important one. If you do it without malice it will make more of a impact upon him giving him a better chance to understand his assholeness. With revenge its very easy to justify and therefore ignore.

 

[anthony87]

If you're gonna go for getting back at him. Try and make it sneaky, subtle, coniving.

Mwhahahahaha etc.

Failing that, try acting like a goddamn adult instead of running to the internet about getting back at him.

 

[The Urban Moose]

You only have one life. Don't take your anger or primary instinct to strike back at him. In the short run it may satisfy you but what of the long run? Your stepdad can change for the better or least regret how things are going due to his actions.

I suggest you calmly talk to him about your plans on moving out, and that you wish him the best (if you don't love him like a father). Am sorry about your situation by the way, and I usually get heat from my Dad too but remember this- if you treat him like how he treats you... you're just becoming another example of him. Don't go down that path. Talk to me in a PM if you seek more help. I'd be happy to help by any means bro.

I disagree with this greatly.
After growing up in a really fucked up living situation, I wasn't able to set things straight with my mean parent until I yelled them out of my life. Now, mine was literally abusive (So its a worse case scenario than yours), but from my experience, douchebags don't stop being douchebags until you smack them around a bit (This is metaphorically, obviously).

I'd say ***** him out. He is most likely NOT going to change because you talk nice to him, so I'd say go out with a bang.

My first reaction would be to yell and get revenge, but this is what you should do. And thank you, sir, for posting this very rational, well thought out, helpful comment. I enjoyed reading it.


I would wish to debate with you, but seeing how you've had a much harder life then myself then I can't really say anything since I do have it pretty easy with my parents. However, will say one thing: Do you really wish to consider treating people bad just because they gave you a hard time? Not speaking about your dad and I truly am sorry how hard you had it (literally), but in life society would go downhill if everyone believed treat others poorly just because of being treated badly to begin with.

Martin Luther King Jr. is my best example. Spite racial issues (dramatically was an issue back then), where he was insulted, assaulted, limited to choices, treated worse then trash, his people too getting as much heat... he never believed in being a douche bag toward the aggressive crowd. Instead, he would be peaceful and preach about justice, rights of equality.. and not just for his people, but everyone including whites to settle together in harmony.
Now, this example can't be really exact with your life on how you've been through a heck of drama due to your parents... but if you treat people badly, like your dad... then you'll eventually become someone like him. Up to you, and not discarding your advise... I just want to note sometimes doing something back is worse then what they do to you if you know what I mean.

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind? It's hard to remember, but it's true. Thanks for reminding us of that.

 

[Cpu46]

I can't really give you advice but I can relate. My dad was belligerent up until I was 16 or 17. He did what he wanted and set rediculous standards for me and my mom while he completely ignored my little sister. If anyone failed to meet his standards he would go off on them. My mom was my fucking hero at that time, she could hold her own against every single one of his arguments and defended me against his most more pointless tirades and held him back when he was going to far when I actually deserved to be yelled at. He never hurt any of us but he did cause minor property damage. He ended up taking anger management classes after my mom threatened divorce and he broke the front door in a rage. From then on he has been one of the most supportive people in my life. However due to those years he and my sister have next to no relationship and I learned to read people incredibly well. He still goes off on tirades but now it is over reasonable things.

If I had to give you advice then I say let it pass for now since you are going to be moving out anyways. If you meet him at a family event after you move out and he makes trouble then feel free to tear him a new one since he can't do anything against you.

 

[Dango]

No.

If you think it will ruin his life then it is an absolutely terrible way to handle it, whether he's an asshole or not.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

A lot of people will tell you to go quietly, but honestly it's probably not something for other anonymous people on the Internet to decide for you.

This. You may end up regretting not being able to get those emotions off your chest or you may be glad to just leave and never have to deal with that chapter of your life again. You can make cases for either side compelling so it really is up to you OP. I would probably just leave quietly as I hate emotionally charged drama in my life and I'd just be better out of that situation.