Today I Was Shot.

[quiet_samurai]

yeah, i have had it happen, but i gotta tell ya. the caring guy thing, it don't work.

Apparently I'm proving that wrong at the moment. I suppose that's only with most cases. Though I'm also a different sort of 'caring' guy.

That's odd. My girlfriend loves that I care about her.

Caring about a girl, and being the guy a girl comes to with her problems because you are so caring is not the same. Usually the best friend thing only works after she has exhausted all her other resources. Also being caring toward your already exhisting girlfriend is not the same as when you are trying to first get with her.

 

[UAProxy]

yeah, i have had it happen, but i gotta tell ya. the caring guy thing, it don't work.

Apparently I'm proving that wrong at the moment. I suppose that's only with most cases. Though I'm also a different sort of 'caring' guy.

That's odd. My girlfriend loves that I care about her.

Quite my point. This girl currently seems to be absolutely astounded (and enamored) by the fact that I forgave her for this whole episode.

 

[dietpeachsnapple]

I flew 10,000 miles around the planet so a girl could tell me that she just 'wanted to be friends'.

We had been together for 18 months.

We had both expressed deep love for one another.

I think I have you beat mate...

Edit: This isn't a contest, and my word choice should not imply that. It is, however, still a sore point in my life and you will simply have to forgive my somewhat confounded and jaded vocalization of the matter.

 

[JenXXXJen]

You do seem sweet, and this may come across as harsh, but you're doing the 'Nice
Guy' approach, which will NEVER work. Ever. If you're interested in someone, say so quickly, or you'll always be just friends. And even then, just because someone's nice to you, are you obliged to go out with them?

I have to ask, is her boyfriend genuinely an asshole? How so? Just curious...

 

[L33tsauce_Marty]

yeah, i have had it happen, but i gotta tell ya. the caring guy thing, it don't work.

Apparently I'm proving that wrong at the moment. I suppose that's only with most cases. Though I'm also a different sort of 'caring' guy.

That's odd. My girlfriend loves that I care about her.

Caring about a girl, and being the guy a girl comes to with her problems because you are so caring is not the same. Usually the best friend thing only works after she has exhausted all her other resources. Also being caring toward your already exhisting girlfriend is not the same as when you are trying to first get with her.

So the 'Nice Guy' plan? Yeah ok I know what you mean.

I flew 10,000 miles around the planet so a girl could tell me that she just wanted to be friends.

We had been together for 18 months.

We had both expressed deep love for one another.

I think I have you beat mate...

WOW...

 

[dietpeachsnapple]

Considering the fact that I distance myself from people for exact reasons such as the reasons posted I don't recall much sadness in my life. My grandpa died when I was 13. I knew him pretty well but due to my who distancing thing I never shed a tear.

I do get a little sad when I think about all the books I will never have time in my life to read.

I sympathize with your stance, though my favor shown to books only really shows itself when I am thinking about a post apocalyptic world where I will have nothing but time and the quiet solitude of an entire library to myself.

 

[dietpeachsnapple]

I flew 10,000 miles around the planet so a girl could tell me that she just wanted to be friends.

We had been together for 18 months.

We had both expressed deep love for one another.

I think I have you beat mate...

WOW...

Indeed...

 

[L33tsauce_Marty]

I flew 10,000 miles around the planet so a girl could tell me that she just wanted to be friends.

We had been together for 18 months.

We had both expressed deep love for one another.

I think I have you beat mate...

WOW...

Indeed...

Okay I just thought about that. Just want to ask you, do you think you could ever live near her and try to have a more serious relationship? Because I think she thought that was impossible.

/mythoughts

 

[UAProxy]

A)Which will NEVER work.

B)If you're interested in someone, say so quickly, or you'll always be just friends.

C)I have to ask, is her boyfriend genuinely an asshole? How so? Just curious...

A) Um, I've addressed this above. Different kind of nice guy. I'm showing sympathy by helping her with this, sure, but I'm not taking my time about making my intentions clear.

B) Already asked her, she said yes, and they lived happily ever after, moving on.

C) From what she's said of him and what I've seen? Yes. Then again, anyone that makes a girl cry that much is an asshole in my book.

 

[quiet_samurai]

No offense, but if you were wondering why that happened...

I flew 10,000 miles around the planet so a girl could tell me that she just 'wanted to be friends'.

...that was it. Long distance relationships hardly ever work, especially if it has half the circumfrance of the earth in the middle of it.

 

[kiteviolet]

I`d think that whether a girl goes out with you has as much to do with if she`s actually attracted to you as how much of a `nice guy` you`re being to her.

 

[skywalkerlion]

Being a fellow hopeless romantic, I can relate completely.

 

[LooK iTz Jinjo]

Yes I have felt like I was shot and have been in similar situations to OP. No I don't want to talk about it.

 

[DazZ.]

No offense, but if you were wondering why that happened...

I flew 10,000 miles around the planet so a girl could tell me that she just 'wanted to be friends'.

...that was it. Long distance relationships hardly ever work, especially if it has half the circumfrance of the earth in the middle of it.

Sometime they "work" better, but by work I mean last longer.
I think it's as they don't see each other often enough to fall out, then when they spend a couple of months together it totally falls apart.

Not personal experience at long distance though, just alot of different coupled friends at different unis.

In before someone links that XKCD comic its pretty much this in a nutshell, no I'm not going to I have better things to do set at it web monkeys!

It's taken too long, I'm linking it. Mostly as this was my fucking problem for ages.

Spoiler: Click here for a rather large comic on the matter

 

[firedfns13]

Well I'm currently going out with a girl who did something along the lines of that last summer, but to be honest, I really didn't know her until this year when I started hanging out with her because she was there and it was something to do (and my close friends asked me why i was hanging out wiht a girl that hurt me)

But the turning point that made me think of her somewhat romantically was after I was led on for several weeks by this french girl. And I guess shes a damn good actor because she really made me think she liked me by having me watch a movie at her house the first time we hung out and things like that. Then we were at the first school football game this year and she got hysterical from some text message that she was yelling about to her friends in front of me. Very obviously like. About another guy, who randomly just texted her to hang out with her. Bang.

Honestly, I'm not a guy thats emo or anything but it took all my willpower to not have "my allergies bothering me" at that moment. Luckily the girl I'm with now was there.

 

[UAProxy]

Spoiler: Click here for a rather large comic on the matter

Once again, not quite. Different kind of caring guy here. Sure, I'm nice, but I learned early on that that approach leads nowhere. This way is slightly more effective, and the fact that she's already had her fair share of bad experiences does heighten my odds a bit. We'll see.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

and I put on my part as the caring guy that comforts and steps in in the process.

Really, has this tactic actually worked for anyone?

I mean we're talking about a person who have just been dumped, how likely are they to just fall head over heals for the next person that provides a shoulder to cry on and start a relationship with that person?

Seriously, if someone actually succeeds with this move, it must be like finding the holy grail or something. : S

 

[A Weary Exile]

I seem to lack that 'Breakdown and cry' response, there are plenty of occasions in my life where any one else would've been tearing up (Like when my aunt died of cancer) but I just don't feel anything. I think there might be something wrong with me...

 

[firedfns13]

she cut all ties between us, and we haven't spoken a word since. Unfortunately, that month was also the month she had a big company plaster posters of her all over town, I walked by three of those posters every day when I was going to school. I dropped out shortly after.

Every time I walked past one of those posters it felt like I was stabbed by a very blunt knife

Oh same thing between me and the french girl i talked about. Now I'm over it (mostly) but afterwards I'd see her in the halls and such at school and ow lol

 

[UAProxy]

Really, has this tactic actually worked for anyone?

I mean we're talking about a person who have just been dumped, how likely are they to just fall head over heals for the next person that provides a shoulder to cry on and start a relationship with that person?

Seriously, if someone actually succeeds with this move, it must be like finding the holy grail or something. : S

What, this old thing? It's been in my attic for months.