Today Tonight.........and Cancer

[Gentleman_Reptile]

About 2 years ago I started an easy little hobby.

I started making a mental list of everything the channel 7 "news" program Today Tonight, says gives you cancer.

For those of you who dont know, Today Tonight is a weekly australian news program that prides itself on delivering the stupidest, most glamourised, and insultingly fear-based news reports it can to the increasingly stupid and malliable public.

Think Fox news, but on a more local scale.

Anyway, every so often, sandwiched between its in-depth reports about some crap new chain of hair salons and a land-dewgong who is suing a department store after tripping their fat arse over on the dorrways rubber stopper, Today Tonight likes to ruin things for you. Most often by saying they give you Cancer.

My list, to date, in no particular order, is as follows. These are the things this show says WIL give you cancer.

Mobile Phones.
Cars.
Living near power lines.
Computers.
Television sets
Radio equipment
Out of date food
Moonlight
Assorted pharmacuticals (all too difficult in pronuciation to remember)
Iron tablets
Protein shakes
Hair conditioner
Contact lenses

And now.....for the grand daddy of them all....

Sunscreen.

I fucking kid you not. Sunscreen will give you cancer if this informative news program is to be believed. This is why I dont watch the news and am always uninformed as to whats happening in the world currently, because they all spout panicky shit. I know that wont come as a shock to most of you by seriously, sunscreen?

So the point of conversation for this thread must be.........

What are some of the ridiculous things you have seen a news program reoprt that will result in immediate detriment to your health?

 

[Trivun]

Here's a much better list:


There you go . Otherwise, I haven't really seen that much. Aside from all the various stories that denounce weed while glossing over the much worse effects of cigarettes and alcohol, but of course the newspapers aren't going to print pro-weed stories and risk losing their readers who are mostly made up of stuffy white-collar high-earning workers who all vote Tory every year, are they?

 

[Liam1390]

Supposedly red meat and foods grilled over charcoal will give you cancer as well.

 

[Gentleman_Reptile]

[quote="Trivun" SNIP[/quote]

I cant decide whether to be peeved that someone made a catchy song before I could out of something I find ludicrously stupid, or happy that this kind of proves me right. I'll settle for both and break even.

 

[Irridium]

I shall eat one of everything on the list and become immune to cancer!

...
Yes.

Like eating the heart of your enemy to gain his courage, only its with inanimate objects.

 

[Dalek Hybrid]

I hope Television Sets give cancer to those who watch Today Tonight.

 

[mjc0961]

I no! I'm a man! That means I'm going to get cancer! Oh wait, I already had cancer! THEY WERE RIGHT SAVE YOURSELVEEEESS!!!!

Seriously though those people are just silly. Sunscreen is supposed to protect you from the sun which overexposure to can cause, among other things, cancer. Damned if you do, damned if you don't I suppose.

 

[badgersprite]

Seeing this is absolutely hilarious.

You know what gives you cancer? CELLS. The things you have in your body. And the things that you come into contact with whenever you interact with other people/living things. Every single day. Cells cause cancer! Pay me a fee and put me on TV as an "expert", Today Tonight! I'd be really good at it; I can pretend I'm typing on a computer, walk down a hallway holding a folder, sit in a chair in front of books and everything.

EDIT: Wait, wait, WHAT? MOONLIGHT gives you cancer? ...So, sunlight, but less of it, is more dangerous than full on sunlight?

...

...

...

Nope, can't make sense of that.

 

[mad825]

most of the items on that list is plausible however there is no conclusive proof to suggest either side of the argument is correct.

 

[KRbertsproduck5]

Thats dumb. Anything can give you cancer just certain things give it to you fast

 

[Lem0nade Inlay]

Living near Power Lines DOES increase your chance of cancer. (Those massive ones)

But everything else on that list is bullshit! Sunscreen? You're fucking joking me!

 

[Therumancer]

About 2 years ago I started an easy little hobby.

I started making a mental list of everything the channel 7 "news" program Today Tonight, says gives you cancer.

For those of you who dont know, Today Tonight is a weekly australian news program that prides itself on delivering the stupidest, most glamourised, and insultingly fear-based news reports it can to the increasingly stupid and malliable public.

Think Fox news, but on a more local scale.

Anyway, every so often, sandwiched between its in-depth reports about some crap new chain of hair salons and a land-dewgong who is suing a department store after tripping their fat arse over on the dorrways rubber stopper, Today Tonight likes to ruin things for you. Most often by saying they give you Cancer.

My list, to date, in no particular order, is as follows. These are the things this show says WIL give you cancer.

Mobile Phones.
Cars.
Living near power lines.
Computers.
Television sets
Radio equipment
Out of date food
Moonlight
Assorted pharmacuticals (all too difficult in pronuciation to remember)
Iron tablets
Protein shakes
Hair conditioner
Contact lenses

And now.....for the grand daddy of them all....

Sunscreen.

I fucking kid you not. Sunscreen will give you cancer if this informative news program is to be believed. This is why I dont watch the news and am always uninformed as to whats happening in the world currently, because they all spout panicky shit. I know that wont come as a shock to most of you by seriously, sunscreen?

So the point of conversation for this thread must be.........

What are some of the ridiculous things you have seen a news program reoprt that will result in immediate detriment to your health?

Well, they might be right to be honest. People have been dying from cancer for as long as there have been people apparently, it's just not all that well understood. Generally speaking I think it can be summarized that cancer is caused by "enviromental causes", and while these are the current ones, I'm sure there were worse ones throughout history, many of which we don't remember. Simply put, living will give you a decent chance of cancer.

If it helps at all, consider that the human lifespan is actually increasing. For all talk about obsesity, disease, lack of medical care, cancer, AIDs, and everything else right now doing all that stuff your liable to live longer than people through history. Viewed that way it's not all bad.

The news reports this kind of thing in that way because it's sensational, take it with a grain of salt. What's a major health breakthrough today is poison tomorrow compared to some study, and tomorrow it will be reversed. For all we know in six months someone will be claiming that chemicals in sunscreen surprisingly make you live longer or whatever.

 

[Azrael the Cat]

As a fellow Aussie, I can guarantee that the one thing guaranteed to give you cancer is watching Today Tonight.