Too young to love?

[Hiname]

lets see.. the time I got my first real girlfriend and openly stood up for it, almost everyonea round me (o rather us) was telling us that we're far too young to know what love is, not to mention what love with the same gender is, yadda yadda yadda... You can imagine, we heard it all back then.

maybe it helped a bit because we bassicly went "Just because now." and saw little obligation to hide what we felt and did. Our teacher even threatened suspending us for unruly behavior as we kissed for a moment after lunch and head back to class.

I think its that reason ebcause I remember it most clearly now, that "You don't know what love is." and "Youa re too young for love." was that one thing I kept hearing over and over again. And I say to everyone the same thing I said back then.

"I live up to my feelings. if you declare them as love or not, I could not care less about."

 

[Omey]

snip

Yup.That is the soundest piece of wisdom about relationships,I've heard in my life.And I'm 21!

 

[Seives-Sliver]

Yeah, basicly there is a maturity level you need to have to understand the concepts behind love, lust, or just simple infatuation with someone.

 

[Your once and future Fanboy]

Hello escapists a little backstory this is my dads account i decided take so im fairly new i may make another one but whatever.


Okay so today at school my girlfreind broke up with me and i was seriously upset my teachers said im to young to love and i think thats the most stupidist thing ever since personaly i think anyone can love regardless of age.

So what do you think about this saying?

Well to be able to have a mature loving relationship, you might be to young, but just to love?
No, absolutetly NO!
Love ins't a logical or calculated emotion, it's not something that comes when we want or with the people we want (not necesarely, just look back at someone you have had a crush on a few years later, you'll be like; "him/her? Really? why?").
So age have nothing to do with it.

 

[MaxwellEdison]

You cannot be to young to love, but as your teacher somehow got involved with this, you're probably much to young to handle a relationship.

 

[Sniper Team 4]

I have seen many kids (and perhaps one or two adults) who are too young to love, at least love in the sense you mean. Judging by your reaction, I'd say you are one of them. I'm sorry, but the opening post makes you sound like that in my mind. If I knew you in person, perhaps it'd be different.

 

[IcyEvils]

*snips*

It was very fun learning about the meanings of 'enamoramiento', 'amor' y 'querer'. The difference is
'enamoramiento'- infatuation, lust, obsession, desire.
'amor'- fairy tale love, acceptance, true happiness, 'true love' would be the closest in English.

Edit: You mentioned waiting 3 months. That's the 'honeymoon' period, it differs for everyone. Usually you ignore all friends and ache when you're not with your significant other. My advice is to wait a good while after that before telling someone you love them, then you truly mean it!

If you're upset you broke up, OP, don't think too deeply about the love stuff. It'll come soon enough, no need to listen to anyone or make your own ideas! Play the field, get experience, and the right girl will come along, and you'll know you're in love.

 

[BlumiereBleck]

My girlfriend and I started dating when we were both 13. We're now 18 and still dating. Hopefully you can draw a good conclusion from this.

Has it been off and on? Or the whole 5 years no break ups and get backs?

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

My girlfriend and I started dating when we were both 13. We're now 18 and still dating. Hopefully you can draw a good conclusion from this.

Has it been off and on? Or the whole 5 years no break ups and get backs?

Whole consistent 5 years. I must say I am very proud.

 

[HentMas]

*snips*

It was very fun learning about the meanings of 'enamoramiento', 'amor' y 'querer'. The difference is
'enamoramiento'- infatuation, lust, obsession, desire.
'amor'- fairy tale love, acceptance, true happiness, 'true love' would be the closest in English.

Edit: You mentioned waiting 3 months. That's the 'honeymoon' period, it differs for everyone. Usually you ignore all friends and ache when you're not with your significant other. My advice is to wait a good while after that before telling someone you love them, then you truly mean it!

If you're upset you broke up, OP, don't think too deeply about the love stuff. It'll come soon enough, no need to listen to anyone or make your own ideas! Play the field, get experience, and the right girl will come along, and you'll know you're in love.

yah, you got it, and about the ending of the "honeymoon" period, thats why i said you "start" the process of really falling in love, not "you fall in love!"

besides that yah, i agree with everything stated before XD

 

[BlumiereBleck]

My girlfriend and I started dating when we were both 13. We're now 18 and still dating. Hopefully you can draw a good conclusion from this.

Has it been off and on? Or the whole 5 years no break ups and get backs?

Whole consistent 5 years. I must say I am very proud.

Well i congratulate you! That is a lot of work keeping it going!

 

[MightyMole]

I got into an argument about this with some guy I know a few months back. For some reason he texted me saying "I love it when 14 year old tell their GF's they love them" and I said "Well who are you to say they don't?" and he used a bunch of logical fallacies like "Well so and so would agree with me and he knows more about it than we do" as he usually does to try and make his point like he usually does but that's beside the point.

I made the point for anyone could love anyone at any age. Romantically, yeah they'd have to hit puberty first, but there really is no reason why any love between 2 individuals should be written off because of their age. True, more often than not relationships between 2 young people are pretty shallow and wont really blossom to a full relationship, but its presumptuous of someone to say that its impossible for someone under a certain age to love. I'd argue it has less to do with age and more to do with maturity, age is just a number. There are 40 year old men who are more immature when it comes to relationships than some 14 year olds.

That being said, I think older individuals like to think that stuff they did when they were little was stupid and didn't matter, like that girl you kissed in first grade or that time they cried when they didn't get something they wanted, but really everything we do shapes who we are. It may not be a big deal to them now that they have bigger problems, but those big problems they have now were nothing to them when they were a kid ...

I honestly don't remember exactly what point I was trying to make... Hopefully whatever I was trying to say made its way in here... I must be getting old :/... Lol

 

[Brandon237]

My girlfriend and I started dating when we were both 13. We're now 18 and still dating. Hopefully you can draw a good conclusion from this.

You were both mature for your age and in love for at least the last 4.5 years of your relationship. Is that it? I get cookie now? Although seriously, that's damn impressive, and I'm happy for you

My girlfriend and I are 15 and 16 respectively and we have been going out for just over eleven months, and most people are shocked even at hearing that

Wow. That's very nice of you to say. And good luck with your own relationship. I have a feeling that it will end up being much better than most nowadays. Seriously, people go out for 3 or 4 months, and then brag about it being the longest they've ever had? Damn shame...

EDIT:

Spoiler: Whoops, forgot these.

Hey, it's true, as you say, 3 months seems to be above average, so that is excellent Even one of my good friends said he wouldn't get a girlfriend because he would lose interest after 2 months :X Makes you wonder.
And thanks, she is really awesome, so I hope so

 

[GigaHz]

*meh* depends on the emotional maturity of the individual/and by extension his or her partner.

I had a three year relationship starting when I was twelve, which is longer by a factor of twelve than most relationships that twenty-one year olds have. Go figure...

I could say the same thing. But on further reflection, it's a lot easier to maintain a relationship for that amount of time when there are less expectations put on you.

The reality is the older you get, the more is expected of you from your partner. From 12-19, you've got a free ride so-to-speak.

But really, Love is subjective. And the only way you can decide what your perception of love 'is' is through several failed relationships. Not that I'm hoping it happens, but because you need to have something to reflect and grow on. What you think Love is could be lust or even obsession.

 

[Yoshisummons]

People when they lack an appropriate reasonable way to prove some one's claims in a argument they profess that they are to young to understand or some other crap.

short answer

No

 

[VonBrewskie]

Hello escapists a little backstory this is my dads account i decided take so im fairly new i may make another one but whatever.


Okay so today at school my girlfreind broke up with me and i was seriously upset my teachers said im to young to love and i think thats the most stupidist thing ever since personaly i think anyone can love regardless of age.

So what do you think about this saying?

Also she said techincaly she was bored of me and now im not even sure if i want know her.

I think you might be mistaken about your teacher being "bored" with you.

I think he means his girlfriend said that to him.

ah. i misread. still, he should be talking to his dad first.

 

[powell86]

I have two boys. They're young and growing fast. One thing you learn fast, as a dad, is that kids are packed full of emotions from a young age. Rage, love, fear - all hugely intense - all very real to them. It only goes up several notches during puberty.

When my kid wakes me up at 3am to tell me he's scared of a noise he heard - it's easy for an adult to get annoyed at something that "doesn't exist" and tell the child to "forget about it, nothing to worry about, go back to sleep". I am informed, as an adult, that his fears are unfounded. To him, the fear is real and he needs tools to deal with it. Me telling him "it's not real" is true and might be what he needs to hear - but it can also be read that it denies what he's feeling.

I suspect that you are experiencing the other side of that situation.

The adult concerned is informed, by experience, that intense feelings of love, at a young age, are transitory, temporary, and often confused. They may then try and explain that by telling you "it's not real". I'm sure adults do not mean to trivialise a young adult's feelings, but that is sometimes what we do, "because we know better".

Part of growing up is learning how to deal with these emotions. How to express them, how to channel them, how to live with the negative ones, how to make the most of the positive ones. Love hurts most as you're growing up, particularly the rejections from other young people (who are also going through strong emotions). Chances are things will settle down as you get older and more certain of yourself (and other people).

All I can say in support is - you have felt an intensely positive emotion towards someone and they reciprocated for a while. Congratulations! Some people are not so fortunate. Life will be full of these emotional journeys. They are intense, worthwhile, gutting, memorable, awesome and provide real meaning to your life. You are young and have a lot of life left to you. Don't rush. Learn to channel your emotions, tolerate people going through the same turmoil as you are, bring calm rationality to otherwise tumultuous events.

You will find other people who can share these positive times with. Let the wounds heal, learn what you can and move on.

You sir have proved that you are the most sensible on the internet. Cookie for you.