Top 15 Things Said While Playing Games in 2011

[Paragon Fury]

So this will be my last "2011 List" thread. It took so long because I've been trying to remember everything I said this past year while playing games. This my collection of the top 15 funny, outrageous or stupid things I said while playing video games this year. So, without further ado, here we go.

15: "I'm going to manually override your face." - Portal 2, shortly after manually overriding a wall

14: "She didn't ask for it, but I wasn't in the mood to take her opinion anyway." - Deus Ex HR, attempting to explain to the nice police why there was a dead hooker in the middle of the street

13: "Should've had some Red Bull to give my Ret Bull wings." - WoW, after backing off/being mind-controlled/feared after the cliff in Battlegrounds for umpteeth time

12: "I need an adult! I need an adult!" - SSFIV, playing as Ibuki vs. Hakan

11: "Wait! You didn't specify if I should kill everyone or.......great. Well, I guess I'll just ask my friend. *looks at dagger* So Mr. Stabs, what's your opinion on the matter?" - Skyrim, after being given rather vague instructions on how to retrieve some Thalmor intelligence

10: "Yes, yes thats great. You have an awesome body, and whatever you were just talking about sounded suggestive enough that I probably should take the hint. But can I please play with your tail now?" - Record of Agarest War

9: "If I shot Griffin just because I think he is an ass and it will save us a lot of time, is that considered a hate crime?" - Gears of War 3, during the campaign

8: "Its a good thing Jensen isn't a diabetic, or all this candy would kill him." Deus Ex HR, after eating the umpteeh energy bar because apparently punching dudes in the face is strenuous exercise

7: "World War III; started because a rat fucked my shit up. That'll look good in the history books." - Battlefield 3, after finding out the rat is a quicktime event

6: "That'd be one hell of a paper cut." - Naruto Ship. UNS, thinking about Konan

5: "Heavy feels as if Heavy did not receive memo that Heavy should have." - TF2, after seeing 5+ Sniper laser dots on the wall at the spawn and hearing at least 3 spies taunting outside before the round begins

4: "And thus was the legend of the great sea penis born." - Civ 5, after my submarine sinks the next highest-tech nation's Caravel

3: "Oh great, its going to fall on me and kill me. Could you be any more anti-climatic IW?" - MW3 after the Eiffel Tower starts to fall

2: "Why do I feel a little dirty for this? Oh right, the tits. Thats why." - Record of Agarest War, when trying to wonder what is so bad about the game that it gets an M rating

1: "You know, all she is really doing is fingering it and slapping the side every once and a while." - Halo: Reach, Co-Op campaign on Winter Contingency

 

[ReinWeisserRitter]

To be honest, chief, I think it's funnier that you actually keep track of the things you said that you thought were amusing than what you actually chronicled.

Then you feel the need to host a yearly special about it that no one comes to, and then it becomes more tragic. Why, you've got a whole array of emotions on display.

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

Too be honest, I haven't played most of these games, so without the context I just don't get them! Sorry! :S

To be honest from the title I thought it was going to be a list of things heard online... Which usually give a few chortles and chuckles!

 

[DeadlyYellow]

Save the jokes for your Youtube Let's Plays.

 

[werty10089]

If my guess is right then you're one hell of a subtle troll, I'll give you that. Although if you really desire attention, remember that people don't tend to read or criticize anything completely devoid of any entertainment values and/or something resembling the comic equivalent of a bucket full of children's tears.

 

[Paragon Fury]

To be honest, chief, I think it's funnier that you actually keep track of the things you said that you thought were amusing than what you actually chronicled.

Then you feel the need to host a yearly special about it that no one comes to, and then it becomes more tragic. Why, you've got a whole array of emotions on display.

If my guess is right then you're one hell of a subtle troll, I'll give you that. Although if you really desire attention, remember that people don't tend to read or criticize anything completely devoid of any entertainment values and/or something resembling the comic equivalent of a bucket full of children's tears.

Good light.....since when was the population of the Escapist suddenly so full of Captain Killjoys?

Save the jokes for your Youtube Let's Plays.

Don't have, likely never will since I do not have the equipment for it, and my voice would likely only annoy people.

 

[ReinWeisserRitter]

since when was the population of the Escapist suddenly so full of Captain Killjoys?

I'd rather be a killjoy than let you go on thinking things like yelling "Hey guys, I thought these things I said were clever! Peruse them thanks to this misleading headliner!" are a good idea.

Call it tough love, if you will.

 

[Zetatrain]

My impressions

15) Didn't play portal 2
14) Haha that one made me laugh
13) LOL, played WoW for four years so I know how that feels
12) Haven't played Street Fighter since the SNES days
11) Didn't do that quest
10) Never played the game, but I've seen enough pics from the game and...."other" sources to know where you are coming from
9) Didn't play GoW 3
8) Haha, no kidding
7) Clocked in over 100 hours on BF3's multiplayer and never touched the single-player, but SERIOUSLY?!.... A FUCKING RAT?!?!
6) Didn't play it
5) A little bit funny
4) What? you were expecting it to fall on you?
3) Didn't play Civ 5 and I don't think I would have laughed either way
2) REFER TO #10
1) I feel like I should get the joke but I don't despite the fact that I've played Reach quite a bit

Some of them were funny though most would been funnier if I played the games or if they were mentioned in play-though video

 

[Kimarous]

What, no one thought it was funny?

Nope. [/honest answer]

I suppose I should actually comment on the few games there I've actually played.

15. I haven't gotten very far in Portal 2. Liked the first game well enough, but the sequel just doesn't hold my interest. Besides, "your face" jokes are about as funny as "your mom"... which is to say, not.

14. DOHOHOHOHO! Reference to overused memes! DOHOHOHO! ...yeah, I'm sick to death of "killing snippy hookers" and "I didn't ask for this" in that game.

11. This just seems like commentary... nothing wrong with it, but no specific humour either.

8. First off, energy bars are not the same as candy bars. Secondly, I live with two diabetics who are close to requiring insulin, so forgive me if I don't exactly appreciate "diabetes" humour that isn't of the "D'AWWWW SO CUTE IT GIVES ME DIABETES" variety.

6. *yawn* Is that the best paper/paper-cut joke you could make? Lack of creativity = dull.

4. DOHOHOHO! Dick joke! DOHOHOHOHO! ...not impressed. -_-

 

[Klepa]

"Fucking Spy!!"
-Every TF2 player at some point in their career

 

[im-white]

...i would of .... but I took an arrow to the knee

 

[Signa]

I had a recent conversation with my dad about my little brother sleeping in his bed and crowding him while he's trying to sleep. Hearing my dad say "I have 6 or 7 inches to play with in the morning" made my month, and possibly year.

 

[kasperbbs]

"Fucking Spy!!"
-Every TF2 player at some point in their career

Pretty much this. I hate them with a passion, i shoot my teammates because theres a pretty good chance that ill hit a damn spy in disguise.

 

[The Virgo]

My top 15 things said while playing a videogame in 2011.

15 - "..... Wow ... That was amazing." - Braid ending reaction.

14 - "Son of a *****!" - Super Meat Boy

13 - "Goddammit!" - Super Meat Boy

12 - "Oh, FUCK YOU!" - Super Meat Boy

11 - "[sub].... oh fuck me, I'm gonna die ...[/sub]" Returning back from venturing into the first tunnels in Penumbra: Overture, which I was playing alone in the dark with headphones on a 1600x900 screen. For those who have played the game, you know that part and how scary those fist few tension filled seconds are.

10 - "Teamwork may be required, but I see that people aren't very keen to actually do it" - APB: Reloaded in a nutshell.

9 - "YES! Finally! It's about time, too!" - Finally beating "The Binding of Issac" for the first time after probably over 50 total tries.

8 - "Oh, I didn't mean to step ON it!" - Bear trap death in LIMBO

7 - "If it's meant to be played on a gamepad, why did you port this to PC? If I wanted to play with a controller, I would have bought a fucking Xbox 360." - My reaction to the "Super Meat Boy" welcome screen.

6 - "Breaking news: Several soldiers were killed in Chernarus today when their Black Hawk helicopter crashed. Officials claim the crash was caused by server lag. More on this tonight at 11." - My reaction after lag caused our helicopter to crash in a public Arma 2: Free server, which was followed by laughs.

5 - "Why does the karma stop going up at 1300? It should stop at 1337!" - My suggestion to the :NXS: TTT server (TTT = Trouble in Terrorist Town, a gamemode for Garry's Mod), which was followed by favorable aprovals.

4 - "Oh God, that was such a sloppy mission. I hate myself ..." - My reaction after a hit in Hitman: Blood Money goes awry and many, many people end up dead.

3 - "I just defused the bomb and I have the C4 guys. I am proven [innocent] so don't kill me. ... HEY! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SHOOTING ME?! WHA-HEY- ... You have got to be kidding me." - People in TTT don't actually really pay attention to what you say.

2 - "OH FUCK, WE ARE SHIT!" - The only thing I could say in a TTT round as four of us were trapped in a air duct as someone set off a jihad bomb.

Saving the best for last, here's number one!

1 - "OhGoditsawmeshitshitshitWAAAAAUUGHHFUCKINGDOGAUKLBYAUAUORAGUO!!!!" - Dog attack in Penumbra: Overture. It wouldn't have been so bad if using something to defend yourself with didn't suck.

 

[The Pinray]

May I play?

15."Skyrim is fun!" - Skyrim, while playing it.

14."Arkham City is fun!" - Batman: Arkham City, while playing it.

13."Saints 3 is fun!" - Saints Row: The Third, while playing it.

12."Gears 3 is fun!" - Gears of War 3, while playing it.

11."Modern Warfare 3 is Modern Warfare 2!" - Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, while playing it.

10."Battlefield 3 is fun!" - Battlefield 3, while playing it.

9."Dragon Age 2 is fun!" - Dragon Age II, while playing it.

8."This game is not worth a monthly fee!" - Star Wars: The Old Republic, while playing it.

7."Rayman Origins is fun!" - Rayman Origins, while playing it.

6."Portal 2 is fun!" - Portal 2, while playing it.

5."I love playing video games!" - Me, playing a video game.

4."I love playing video games while sitting on my couch!" - Me, playing a video game while sitting on my couch.

3."I love playing video games while sitting on my couch and drinking water!" - Me, playing a video game while sitting on my couch drinking water.

2."I am very excitable!" - Me, playing a video game in a very excited state.

1."My Xbox froze!" - Me, no longer playing a video game.

Now everyone please laugh at my cleverness.

And remember to Like, Favorite, and Subscribe. It really helps me a lot.

...Wait, what?

 

[Nouw]

I only have one, and that is called the 'Steel Rain maneuver' while jumping out of the Thunder Hawk at the beginning of Space Marine.

 

[weker]

I was waiting for humour or some good discussion topic, sadly I got neither.
I think these may have been funny for you, but the jokes didn't even give me a smile.

Now everyone please laugh at my cleverness.

And remember to Like, Favorite, and Subscribe. It really helps me a lot.

...Wait, what?

I had a recent conversation with my dad about my little brother sleeping in his bed and crowding him while he's trying to sleep. Hearing my dad say "I have 6 or 7 inches to play with in the morning" made my month, and possibly year.

Only jokes that are worth looking at in this thread ^
Also I thought this was funny