Top 5 Worst Videogame Romances
This week, Joshua talks about the worst in-game romances.
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This week, Joshua talks about the worst in-game romances.
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Top 5 Friday: Top 5 Worst Videogame Romances
- Thread starter SmoshGames
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So if someone is against same sex marriage we call them a homophobe. If someone is against cross species marriage we call them a xenophobe. What do we call someone who is against human / robot marriage... and isn't it the same thing as the other two? If you're all about fair sexual preference then what's wrong with Joker and Edi? For that matter, what's wrong with pacman and pacman? Your position makes no sense.
If you don't have a problem with same sex romances, then why does it matter so much that Mrs. Pacman could conceivably be Mr. Pacman in woman's clothes?
Your justification for saying Pacman and Mrs. Pacman are the 2nd Worst Videogame romance comes across as more than a little bit Homophobic and Transphobic, regardless of your disclaimers before you attacked the entirely optional and player initiated gay sex choice in Dragon Age Origin.
It shouldn't matter that because of poor art design and limited graphics capabilities, the female Pacman sprite is just the male Pacman sprite with lipstick and a bow... and it certainly shouldn't matter enough for it to be the sole reason that romance is declared the 2nd Worst Videogame Romance (especially since it's not even about romance, it's about you being 'disturbed' by Mrs. Pacman resembling a 'Transvestite Pacman with whore's lipstick').
Your justification for saying Pacman and Mrs. Pacman are the 2nd Worst Videogame romance comes across as more than a little bit Homophobic and Transphobic, regardless of your disclaimers before you attacked the entirely optional and player initiated gay sex choice in Dragon Age Origin.
It shouldn't matter that because of poor art design and limited graphics capabilities, the female Pacman sprite is just the male Pacman sprite with lipstick and a bow... and it certainly shouldn't matter enough for it to be the sole reason that romance is declared the 2nd Worst Videogame Romance (especially since it's not even about romance, it's about you being 'disturbed' by Mrs. Pacman resembling a 'Transvestite Pacman with whore's lipstick').
Oh look, it's Joshua from King of the Nerds. That's cool.
Worst I can think of has to be Ethan and Madison in Heavy Rain.
Oh you're a brooding, stressed-out, suspected serial killer that I've just met and have been spying on? Let's have sex. I love you.
I'm sorry we couldn't save your son, but it's okay, you can just have one with me!
Worst I can think of has to be Ethan and Madison in Heavy Rain.
Oh you're a brooding, stressed-out, suspected serial killer that I've just met and have been spying on? Let's have sex. I love you.
I'm sorry we couldn't save your son, but it's okay, you can just have one with me!
Yeah, I'm not buying the whole "I wasn't flirting with Zevran, really I wasn't!" If his flirtations were any more obvious there'd be a dialogue option reading PRESS HERE TO HAVE SEX. If you don't want to romance him, try refusing the massage he offers you. Because that's not something best friends do. 
I almost felt like playing devils advocate here and defending this pick... but... naaaah.Jamash said:
It was kinda weird to me that he said that.
With that being said, Idk if its wrong for a straight guy with a straight perspective to be grossed out by the idea of same sex relations. He's kinda wired to react that way when he imagines himself in those situations. As long as he doesn't discriminate towards other that feel that differently, then maybe it's fine.
But does this constitute discrimination? Or just bad humor?
I stepped in expecting a video discussing honestly bad romances, with a good chunk of it being focused on terrible writing with this example:
The Star Wars Unleashed 2 entry was the closest, with no show of just how unlikeable the female character is. The reasons given were pedantic, even for a comedy list.
Joker and Edi, just because Edi is robotic? Mass Effect is a series priding it's self on a long distance future where same sex relationships and inter-species relationships doesn't even bat anyone's eye at all. "But Edi doesn't have anything between her legs!", well maybe (they never reveal it) but that's not the point. Romances, not sex affairs. Come on...
Pacman and Ms Pacman, because Ms Pacman may be trans? A little transphobic there. The previous entry of Dragon Age: Origins even nudges towards the homophobia, I think? It's hard to tell really because I think you're being half serious about trying to get a bonus to theft skills (since romance trees give bonuses I think), but to then get offended if it ends up in sex is just...
Honestly, I was interested in these series of videos. The top five FPS games seemed actually somewhat spot on. While I could argue other games were missed out like Killing Floor, it's a good list. However, this list really screams of immaturity, where romance seems like code for "fuck-buddy" or "sexual affair" and transsexualism and homosexuality just isn't right. I like my humour to be dashed with the phrase "oh yeeeah..." muttered from my mouth, and this lacks it. I'd be surprised if I check out any more videos of this series, I'm sorry.
It's not something I agree with, but it makes sense. Another one that could of worked was the Nathan Drake with both females from Uncharted 2 (yes, really). As one of them was written as a begrudging romance, as she hated Nathan Drake after breaking up with him a while back but she still shows attraction to him; the other one wasn't sure if she could resist the charms of the great American hero Nathan Drake.burningdragoon said:
The Star Wars Unleashed 2 entry was the closest, with no show of just how unlikeable the female character is. The reasons given were pedantic, even for a comedy list.
Joker and Edi, just because Edi is robotic? Mass Effect is a series priding it's self on a long distance future where same sex relationships and inter-species relationships doesn't even bat anyone's eye at all. "But Edi doesn't have anything between her legs!", well maybe (they never reveal it) but that's not the point. Romances, not sex affairs. Come on...
Pacman and Ms Pacman, because Ms Pacman may be trans? A little transphobic there. The previous entry of Dragon Age: Origins even nudges towards the homophobia, I think? It's hard to tell really because I think you're being half serious about trying to get a bonus to theft skills (since romance trees give bonuses I think), but to then get offended if it ends up in sex is just...
Honestly, I was interested in these series of videos. The top five FPS games seemed actually somewhat spot on. While I could argue other games were missed out like Killing Floor, it's a good list. However, this list really screams of immaturity, where romance seems like code for "fuck-buddy" or "sexual affair" and transsexualism and homosexuality just isn't right. I like my humour to be dashed with the phrase "oh yeeeah..." muttered from my mouth, and this lacks it. I'd be surprised if I check out any more videos of this series, I'm sorry.
There are countless video game "Romances" that are completely bland and pointless akin to Starkiller/Juno I could name. I'm going to have to single out Nero/Kyrie from Devil May Cry 4 here though. To say Kyrie has the personality of a wet cardboard box is giving her too much credit.
I actually kinda liked the Joker EDI romance. They can't have sex is a problem? Uh, Joker has a hard time having sex with anyone because of his condition. In the third game he says that even some light over the clothes action will break bones. You can feel affection to someone WITHOUT wanting to bone them you know.
And I kinda thought that you were going with selfcest with Pac-man, but it seems like you were going with 'ew, it's man on man/ ew it's transgender." The hell man?
And I kinda thought that you were going with selfcest with Pac-man, but it seems like you were going with 'ew, it's man on man/ ew it's transgender." The hell man?
I'm really glad, that angry posts about the Pacman Mrs. Pacman decision start to show up.
The Pick really kind of offended me on multiple levels.
First of all: there is absolutely no Story involved in the Pacman-Games that would tell ANYTHING about the Relation between Pacman and Mrs.Pacman. And simply fabricating a story in which Pacman and Mrs.Pacman have the same sex with one of them being in drag?
And THEN being offended by THAT?
Any chance of projection there?
Seriously, why should this ever be an issue, even if that was the story?
But making things up and then being offended by your own story?
WTF?
Probably not going to watch this show anymore...
The Pick really kind of offended me on multiple levels.
First of all: there is absolutely no Story involved in the Pacman-Games that would tell ANYTHING about the Relation between Pacman and Mrs.Pacman. And simply fabricating a story in which Pacman and Mrs.Pacman have the same sex with one of them being in drag?
And THEN being offended by THAT?
Any chance of projection there?
Seriously, why should this ever be an issue, even if that was the story?
But making things up and then being offended by your own story?
WTF?
Probably not going to watch this show anymore...
I think Mario, Peach and Bowser are in a polyamourous relationship honestly. It started in SMB where Peach found that being kidnapped was a real big turn-on to the point that, after sleeping on it (SMB2), Mario decided 'alright, let's test this theory and stage a kidnapping' (SMB3). This turned out to be the high point of Mario and Peaches relationship and introduced Bowser into the fold full time (which is why Mario keeps inviting Bowser to go Go-Karting and whatnot).
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Apparently there's a romance between Marcus and...his...female support in Gears of War but it seemed less existent than the Eclipse/Starkiller one considering the female support in GoW isn't shown in the first game for a full minute. I'm just going to make a blanket statement here and say 'most of them' because in many, MANY games the romantic subplot is worth less than the shrink-wrap that comes with new games.
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I think Technophobe would work there.Gregory Wollf said:
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Apparently there's a romance between Marcus and...his...female support in Gears of War but it seemed less existent than the Eclipse/Starkiller one considering the female support in GoW isn't shown in the first game for a full minute. I'm just going to make a blanket statement here and say 'most of them' because in many, MANY games the romantic subplot is worth less than the shrink-wrap that comes with new games.
Hmm. Kind of preferred these things when Lisa did them. Admittedly this is because whenever there was a dry patch in the humour, Lisa's cuteness and, well, tits could carry the viewer over.
This ep had no discussion value, and the 5 relationship bits seem to have been written by different people considering the sheer polar attitude shown. The final point with Mario for example, they could have gone into so much detail over the blatant innuendo (Peach asking Mario to come to the castle for some cake), the third wheel in the relationship being Bowser, and so on.
Also surprised the Cloud/Tifa/Aeris/(sometimes Barrat....) relationship didn't get mentioned either.
This ep had no discussion value, and the 5 relationship bits seem to have been written by different people considering the sheer polar attitude shown. The final point with Mario for example, they could have gone into so much detail over the blatant innuendo (Peach asking Mario to come to the castle for some cake), the third wheel in the relationship being Bowser, and so on.
Also surprised the Cloud/Tifa/Aeris/(sometimes Barrat....) relationship didn't get mentioned either.
The Pac-Man / Ms. Pac-Man thing is really old and I'm surprised it made it in here. I think they pretty much said it all with "Drawn Together" where one of the characters confided her secrets to Ms. Pac-Man, and then Pac-Man takes out the bow and goes "look familiar" or something like that. It was funny at the time.erttheking said:
That said I had no real problem with Joker/EDI to be honest, the idea of romance between man and machine is an old one and tends to work pretty well. It comes up in Asimov's stories, Piers Anthony's "Adept" series, with the Dodger - Morgan romance in Shadowrun, and other places. In Mass Effect it seemed to me that they glossed over the details quite a bit, while EDI is probably fully functional as an infiltration unit, Joker's condition does prohibit a physical relationship *BUT* we've already seen they have some pretty advanced VR technology and such. If some science fiction is to be believed getting it on with an AI while having your brain jacked into cyberspace would be intense to say the least. I always felt that relationship would work out just fine with a little work and creativity.
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Outside of direct response, I'll say some of the ones people picked on like Rinoa/Squall, and Cloud/Aeris are some of my favorites, though to be honest I always felt Squall belonged with Quistis who is my favorite girl from the franchise so far.
For absolute worst in a game where romance was supposed to be a feature, I'd probably go with the entire cast of "Dragon Age 2". Where some bad coding and ambigious wording could lead to some surprise sex with Zevran in the first game, I don't see that as being a problem with the relationship itself. The problem I had with DA2 is that pretty much every relationship seemed forced to an extent... a certain dark magic elf being the only character I paticularly empathized with. Add to the fact that I couldn't see any real reason why anyone on either past wouldn't have blown a hole the size of a basketball through Anders' chest (I mean we saw what was coming a mile away) simply having him as a romance option was probably the most "WTF" thing in gaming. Add to this that he was first introduced in "Dragon Age: Origins" in one of the expansions, and they totally re-did him to make him work here and it's especially insulting.
There are doubtlessly a lot I'm not thinking of (that I'll wish I mentioned when I think back on this) but I've played so many games I'm sort of drawing a blank from overload. To be honest what mostly comes to mind in response to this is cases where I thought there should be more relevence to a relationship than there turned out to be. An example would be in say "Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines", one of the things you can do, is get a female vampire club owner with split personality disorder into the sack, which isn't the easiest thing to do. It's possible to do this in a couple of differant ways "saving" her and not. Typically it comes down to giving up a point or two you could use to advance your character though... in return other than a basic blackout screen and knowing you scored you get nothing, and you'd expect having been doing the horizontal bop with one of the highest ranking vampires in the city to be of more benefit later on given how the story develops than it is. The thread just more or less drops. I've noticed a lot of games falling into this trap, especially early on. I mean I can get at times why nobody has the guts to deliver graphic sex, but some acknowlegement would be nice.
I'll also be honest in saying (now that i've thought) that Geralt and Trish might make the list. I never really got how Geralt declares his love for her numerous times (in his own way) if you follow that through, yet he still insists on pretty much banging anything halfway decent looking with a skirt... and Trish doesn't even seem remotely phased by this, in fact I don't think it even comes up that this guys is pretty much ploughing every field in town. Not to mention it's kind of creepy that not one of the girls he's with ever seems to bring up up again, even when he's making the bedposts squeak two houses down. Conan-like man-slut aside, Conan at least did it by travelling the length and breadth of his world, he kind of had a love interest or two in each location he visited, Geralt is pretty much systematically working his way through every good looking lady in a limited geographic area where you'd think SOMEONE would talk.
Making a credible romance in a video game is pretty difficult, I'd admit. It's not like film, where two actors/actresses can sell a romance through acting and believable dialogue. And I don't pretend to know what the missing ingridient is.
However, I think making a Top 5 list is pretty fraught with peril. While I don't believe for a second Josh is a member of the Westburough Baptist Church, he certainly deserves criticism for going with low-hanging fruit like Joker/EDI and Mr. and Ms. Pac Man. I recommend running a video like this past a few folks to see if it might cause offence. And if you do that already, you should consider adding others.
However, I think making a Top 5 list is pretty fraught with peril. While I don't believe for a second Josh is a member of the Westburough Baptist Church, he certainly deserves criticism for going with low-hanging fruit like Joker/EDI and Mr. and Ms. Pac Man. I recommend running a video like this past a few folks to see if it might cause offence. And if you do that already, you should consider adding others.
Definitely agree with Starkiller/Juno.
I've never played the second game, but I do remember in the first game their "romance" being so under-developed and forced. When they they kissed, by brother and I both just groaned because of how dumb it was.
Not sure about Joker/EDI though, I thought that was kinda cute.
I've never played the second game, but I do remember in the first game their "romance" being so under-developed and forced. When they they kissed, by brother and I both just groaned because of how dumb it was.
Not sure about Joker/EDI though, I thought that was kinda cute.
