ReiverCorrupter said:
thenumberthirteen said:
Looks quite fun. The graphics aren't the best, but I am interested in seeing what the games are like.
ReiverCorrupter said:
Dear Daniel Craig,
You have ruined James Bond by making him into a lame version of Jason Bourne who doesn't have any cool gadgets, any funny quips, or any personality. Please crawl into a dark corner somewhere and die.
-Yours Truly,
ReiverCorrupter
Dear ReiverCorrupter
Thank you for your letter.
I regret to inform you that your copy of the latest James Bond movies must have had a miss-print in the opening credits. I am an actor hired to play a character. I did not write the script, build the sets, or direct the movies. I feel your feelings must be directed towards the studio and directors of the franchise, and not the cast or crew.
Sincerely
Daniel Craig
Dear Daniel Craig,
Thank you for your prompt reply. I apologize for my over-zealousness. Perhaps I was a little bit too hasty. However, I must question why you were so willing to go along with what was such an obviously terrible turn for the franchise. And why could you not at least dye your hair? Though in your defense I would rather have a blond 007 than another ginger like Roger Moore. Please do not accept any more roles as 007 unless they revise the scripts to the point at which you are actually permitted to play James Bond. Also please tell Matt Damon not to try to act anymore.
-Yours,
ReiverCorrupter
Dear ReiverCorrupter
In answer to your question they offered me a vast sum of money, and, to be honest, I needed it. I was in TOMB RAIDER for God's sake! And did I get a sex scene with Angelina Jolie? Did I fuck. Now I've got more money and ass than I know what to do with. If they want to remake James Bond, and pay me by the fistful then let them. I've got my pick of classy Oscar bait roles now, and even if they replace me I can ride the whole 007 ticket for the rest of my career. Sean Connery was just some git with a Scottish accent, now he's been knighted, and it sure as hell wasn't for Highlander II.
If the studio wants to save on gadgets and hollowed out Volcano lair sets then that's fine and dandy by me. Also if they don't want to dye my locks then that just means I don't have to spend an hour in Makeup with tinfoil in my hair while someone touches up my roots.
Also a lot of people have tried to stop Matt Damon, but to be honest he throws such good Wrap parties that, to be honest, it's worth just sticking him in movies. You should try his Potato Salad, its to die for.
Hugs and Kisses
Daniel Craig
P.S. To thank you for your helpful career advice here's a signed picture of myself looking smug.