Trans folks and partners of trans folks (Adult Subject matter)

[Beautiful Tragedy]

"the "L" word popped up"

(Why on earth would he call you a lesbian?)

"sorry I told you I loved you"

(Fuck me I'm stupid) -_-

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Any particular reason you have to just be friends? I think you may have mentioned you're with someone but my memory is faulty.

haha yeah..Love

he lives over 1500 miles away from me

 

[Batou667]

he lives over 1500 miles away from me

You should move closer. That's what I think.

You're not having any luck finding work where you're at, right?

Yeah, I'd second that. Why not? It wouldn't be the biggest change you've made in your life, and it doesn't sound like you have too much tying you to your current location.

I'd definitely recommend meeting up a couple of times first to make sure it's the right decision.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

he lives over 1500 miles away from me

You should move closer. That's what I think.

You're not having any luck finding work where you're at, right?

Yeah, I've considered moving back to the midwest anyway.

Yeah, I'd second that. Why not? It wouldn't be the biggest change you've made in your life, and it doesn't sound like you have too much tying you to your current location.

I'd definitely recommend meeting up a couple of times first to make sure it's the right decision.

Yeah, i just can't afford to fly to him, and he doesn't have any vacation days to come here right now...

SO i'm kinda stuck.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

SNIP

Good luck, I hope things work out then

thanks, I appreciate that.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

Well, if there's nothing keeping you to your current location (especially if you aren't finding work there), then perhaps you should move closer to where he is so you can give it a go at a relationship. You two seem to be all but partners anyway, judging by what you've told us. And now that he has no qualms about being a trans girl, that's one less barrier to break down.

But ultimately, it's up to you. You have to talk to him a bit more, and then consider the pros and cons. I hope it works out.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

Well, if there's nothing keeping you to your current location (especially if you aren't finding work there), then perhaps you should move closer to where he is so you can give it a go at a relationship. You two seem to be all but partners anyway, judging by what you've told us. And now that he has no qualms about being a trans girl, that's one less barrier to break down.

But ultimately, it's up to you. You have to talk to him a bit more, and then consider the pros and cons. I hope it works out.

Thank you So much... I want to get him to "sit down" and talk to me seriously about me possibly coming back to the midwest. I really want to try and make something with him, or at least try... I just have to REALLy gauge his feelings on such a move.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

By the sounds of things the only way you're not a couple at the moment is a lack of proximity, i.e. it sounds like you're in a de-facto long-distance relationship already.

haha that's funny, i really didn't think of that, but you're kinda right.

I'd agree with the sentiment of looking at moving. If you've got nothing tying you to where you are (mortgage etc.) then why not move (if the costs can be covered)?

Yeah money IS an issue

I think talking to him about such a move would be sensible but phrasing it lightly, along the lines of "I was thinking of moving back to the midwest" would give him the opportunity to react as he feels and respond as he reads into it, and would spare you the potential difficulty of being explicit about how stronly you feel about him.

I had told him a couple of weeks ago that my family was vaguely talking about another family reunion this year, and that we might do it in Chicago, as the would be easier for extended family to get to than last year's locale in northern Iowa. He said "If you have it in Chicago, I will find a way to come up and see you... in other terms, he said "I am there".

So yeah.. OH! Yesterday, he was telling me how he was placing these huge bets (like 10 games-that if he won would yield him a LOT of money)... I didn't put 2 and 2 together right away, but basically he wanted to come out to Cali for a surprise visit. When he didn't win he told me what he had planned. His OTHER concern was, him coming to visit me, and his words not mine;

Him- I was gambling to raise extra $$ to spring a surprise visit

Me- That's very sweet

Me- it's prolly best you didn't win... On the off chance u fell in love with me

Him- off chance..ppffftt.. More likely an on chance"

Seems like he feel pretty strongly about me...

And there's this (btw we have weird/anything goes question time...it's just something we do).

Me- What would you do if you won the lottery?

Him- you me greece

Him- new names, new ids new life

Seems like, given the chance he DOES want to be with me... both of these exchanges were from last night.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

I'd agree with the sentiment of looking at moving. If you've got nothing tying you to where you are (mortgage etc.) then why not move (if the costs can be covered)?

Yeah money IS an issue

Sorry, that was a poorly-phrased attempt to acknowledge the cost as being an issue.

At the risk of intruding a little, how much would a ticket to move to his area cost?

Renting a moving truck, and driving it my self would cost close to $2k




on an "aside"... he spoke these 9 words to me yesterday; "Melanie, I think I am in love with you."

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

Renting a moving truck, and driving it my self would cost close to $2k

Alas I cannot spare that sort of money, but I'd contribute to a kickstarter/indiegogo fund

on an "aside"... he spoke these 9 words to me yesterday; "Melanie, I think I am in love with you."

We may need to have a talk about what an "aside" is :-D I'm delighted to read that though.

haha, and yeah that should be a little more than an "aside" LMAO

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

I am sure y'all are tired of me.. BUT... posting in this thread is kind of cathartic for me, so i hope it's okay i post again.

Been a LONG time, i know. Hopefully the mods won't ding me for necroing a thread.

OKAY.. so.. it's no longer THINK... he told me two days ago "Mel, I love you". I told him he didn't mean it. I don't know why, i guess i was scared. I want to be with him so bad, and I DO love him... I feel it in every fiber of my being. The he said "I don't say anything if i don't mean it". Needless to say i was thrilled, terrified, and overwhelmed.

As i said before we talk every day, whether it's Yahoo, or the chatroom we met in. But since he told me he loves me, he's become even more communicative than ever before. Texting or messaging me as he heads off to work early in the morning, he called me while on his lunch break today, he seems much more "attentive" i guess. He constantly tells me he needs me to find a job here, and get more stable. I mean i get i need to pick myself back up after my marriage collapsed, but i thought that was weird. He even talks about buying me a scooter so it's easier for me to get around. LOL

So that's where we're at... if anyone cares.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

Not tired of you by a long shot, and I'm glad to see he figured it out in the end

I meant it about the indiegogo campaign!

Thank you for letting me continue... as i said I really don't have anyone in my life to talk about this with (although my ex-wife seems to enjoy my tales of my insanity).

haha indiegogo?! I have a feeling that wouldn't get very far.

 

[Abomination]

Best of luck with it but I will always preach caution with any long distance relationship, no matter the gender-alignment of those involved in it.

Then again my standard for a relationship being stable is if you can stand waking up next to each other.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

Best of luck with it but I will always preach caution with any long distance relationship, no matter the gender-alignment of those involved in it.

Then again my standard for a relationship being stable is if you can stand waking up next to each other.

thank you, and yes.. we talked last night a bit more about it, and we will go slow, and let things come as they may. He struggles more with the "I want you now" thing, than I do.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

final update-

it's over.. he's gone, i have moved on, and i am actually stepping away from the internet for some time.. weeks? months? no clue... i need to reset my brain.

take care everyone