Transgender Q & A

[Jayemsal]

Hello Escapists!

I am a transgender individual, its a big part of my identity and I am very open about it.

I'm making this thread because it seems a great deal of people have questions about this topic, and they dont quite know when its appropriate to ask.

So go ahead and ask whatever questions you may have on the subject.

But please, try and keep it tasteful!

(By the way, if any other Transgender Escapists want to cut in on the discussion, all are welcome.)

EDIT: I should make it clear that what I may say does not represent the Transgender community at large, and I can only give a personal perspective.

 

[an annoyed writer]

Good idea for a thread, Jayemsal! I hope we can dispel some of the rather glaring misconceptions some people around here have about us.

 

[Twilight_guy]

I've heard that transgender people (at least some of them, pardon my limited experience) 'feel' that they were born the wrong way or the wrong gender or somehow are off and thus are transgender as a way to correct that. I don't understand that since I don't know what it 'feels' like to be a gender or to be the wrong gender. I understand social structures built around gender and I understand being attracted to a different sex then a straight person, but feminism seeks to end limiting and unfair gender structures, and homosexuals and bisexuals exist, so obviously those things aren't the same since they are addressed with different outcomes. I can assume that this 'feeling' of a gender is something I have yet to consider and thus have overlooked and I'd like your insight into what exactly is at the core of what defines one's gender and how one feels their gender. I think I'll be missing a critical component that I need to understand sexuality in general until I can figure it out.

 

[BreakfastMan]

I have a couple:

1) When did you realize that you were in the wrong body, not just that something was wrong?

2) If you are post-op, how have you changed your behaviors, if at all?

3) If post-op: Have would you compare the social pressures from before surgery to after?

4) If you pre-op: Do you ever planning on getting surgery, and if not, why?

That is about it. Just some things I was always curious about.

 

[Ryan Minns]

Great idea, the only question I had related to the subject was answered immediately after I asked in another thread but this is good for those who genuinely want to know more.

 

[Jowe]

How did you know you were meant to be the opposite sex that you are, not just not coming to terms with who you are properly?
(If this makes sense)

 

[Tragedy's Rebellion]

I have a rather interesting question that I've been pondering for a while -

What exactly do you wish to change about your gender? Is it only physical resemblance or the whole gender role which is in turn created by society and doesn't reflect the deepest facets of gender?

Is it more important for you to see yourself as the correct gender OR the acceptance and recognition of other people as the correct gender?

Why do you find your birth gender wrong?

These questions pretty much encompasses everything I wish to ask.

 

[Rawne1980]

I hope we can dispel some of the rather glaring misconceptions some people around here have about us.

I have a rather pressing question about you that I do need to know the answer to....

Are you really an annoyed writer or just slightly miffed and exaggerating?

Before anyone rages at me that isn't a serious question. I like to drop some light hearted humour in serious threads just in case something bad happens.

 

[Vault101]

snip.

that kind of sounds like asking if gender comes "pre installed" or is installed by society

there was a story of a boy who where a circumsicion went wrong, so as an experiemnt a doctor suggessted they do a sex change and raise him as a girl....it didn't end well

I dont want to compare myself to transgender too much but when I was a kid I was a serious tomboy, boys cloths and boys things was what I gravitated too but on every level it felt "right" and wearing a dress or anything girly physically just felt "wrong" as in "this isnt me, I feel really REALLY uncomfortable" that changed a bit when I went away to school at around 15 where I (begrudgingly) tried the whole "girls stuff" thing nowdays its fine...I still hate skirts/dressed/high heels but I can dress and look feminine without wanting to crawl out of my skin

anyway my point is while it isnt the same thing (not by a longshot) I can kind of understand the whole "this is/isnt" me thing

 

[Valagetti]

1) Do you care what other people think about you (even if you shouldn't)?
2) Do you have any attraction to fetishes, that come and go from the change?
3) Are you more or less sexually active after the change?
4) Are you getting freaked out by my questions?

 

[an annoyed writer]

I've heard that transgender people (at least some of them, pardon my limited experience) 'feel' that they were born the wrong way or the wrong gender or somehow are off and thus are transgender as a way to correct that. I don't understand that since I don't know what it 'feels' like to be a gender or to be the wrong gender. I understand social structures built around gender and I understand being attracted to a different sex then a straight person, but feminism seeks to end limiting and unfair gender structures, and homosexuals and bisexuals exist, so obviously those things aren't the same since they are addressed with different outcomes. I can assume that this 'feeling' of a gender is something I have yet to consider and thus have overlooked and I'd like your insight into what exactly is at the core of what defines one's gender and how one feels their gender. I think I'll be missing a critical component that I need to understand sexuality in general until I can figure it out.

Most, if not all, of us feel a sense of gender dysphoria. Why this happens is not fully explained as of yet, but with recent studies we have a generally good idea as to what causes it. In the womb, as a child develops, they go through several chemical washes that are designated by the genetic code of the individual, usually resulting in a normal child. With us transgendered people, this process is generally disrupted in one form or another, only resulting in a partial, if not nonexistent, chemical wash of the corresponding hormone. The brain develops along a different path than the body, resulting in the dysphoric feelings that many of us first make sense of around ages 4 and 5. You don't feel anything like this because you got the right balance of your sex's hormone during this period, and as such, do not experience the feelings we do. The closest parallel that I can give is one a poster mentioned in a previous thread: it's kinda like phantom limb syndrome: you have a mental blueprint of your body, and when you lose a limb you have phantom sensations that your mind is telling you are coming from your limb, but it's not there. Gender dysphoria is something of a similar sensation.

 

[an annoyed writer]

I hope we can dispel some of the rather glaring misconceptions some people around here have about us.

I have a rather pressing question about you that I do need to know the answer to....

Are you really an annoyed writer or just slightly miffed and exaggerating?

Before anyone rages at me that isn't a serious question. I like to drop some light hearted humour in serious threads just in case something bad happens.

Well, I am a writer, and I am often annoyed by things in my everyday life (lots and lots of problems to sift through) but sometimes it is mere exaggeration. And for the record, I don't mind the light-heartedness: in fact it's something I could use a little more of in my life right now.

 

[Psykoma]

Oh boy, sorry if I set you off, not my intent.

1) Did you always know you were trans?

I have a couple:

1) When did you realize that you were in the wrong body, not just that something was wrong?

I first suspected at puberty, and 'knew' around 15. I can't honestly say I even noticed that there were 'differences' between men and women until puberty. I was (well, I still am) usually lost in my own mind.

2) What are your views on both pre-op and post-op trans?

Some need surgery, some don't. Whatever floats their boat.

3) Can a cross-dresser be considered trans?

Most people consider crossdresers transgender (though afaik none consider them transsexuals), but I really don't think they should be. It's just fabric, there shouldn't be gender related conditions associated with which types of fabric you wear.

2) If you are post-op, how have you changed your behaviors, if at all?

Didn't change them, still socially awkward, still a nerd, still a gamer, still studying and working.

3) If post-op: Have would you compare the social pressures from before surgery to after?

A lot of people tell me that I was brave to go through with the surgery, but other than that nothing.

1) Do you care what other people think about you (even if you shouldn't)?

Only care about their opinions as much as it takes to figure out if they're going to assault me.

2) Do you have any attraction to fetishes, that come and go from the change?

Not afaik.

3) Are you more or less sexually active after the change?

One and a half weeks away from 1 year post op, and still a virgin.

4) Are you getting freaked out by my questions?

not particularly.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

1) Did you always know you were trans? Since I was 5 years old I knew something was "wrong", at 16 i discovered the technical term.

2) What are your views on both pre-op and post-op trans? To each their own... gender expression is just as important as what's between your legs

3) Can a cross-dresser be considered trans? sure


1) When did you realize that you were in the wrong body, not just that something was wrong? about 10ish

2) If you are post-op, how have you changed your behaviors, if at all? still pre-op

3) If post-op: Have would you compare the social pressures from before surgery to after? NA

4) If you pre-op: Do you ever planning on getting surgery, and if not, why? HELL YES! that is my ultimate goal..hoefully in the next 2 years


What exactly do you wish to change about your gender? Is it only physical resemblance or the whole gender role which is in turn created by society and doesn't reflect the deepest facets of gender? I am a woman on the inside just want the outside to reflect that.

Is it more important for you to see yourself as the correct gender OR the acceptance and recognition of other people as the correct gender? I see myself as a woman, i just need to fix a birth defect..i don't care how others see me

Why do you find your birth gender wrong? overwhelming feeling i am in the wrong body..there was a mistake (My via en Rose portrays it perfectly)

1) Do you care what other people think about you (even if you shouldn't)? nope
2) Do you have any attraction to fetishes, that come and go from the change? nope
3) Are you more or less sexually active after the change? less, but that is changing
4) Are you getting freaked out by my questions? nope

 

[Rawne1980]

Well, I am a writer, and I am often annoyed by things in my everyday life (lots and lots of problems to sift through) but sometimes it is mere exaggeration. And for the record, I don't mind the light-heartedness: in fact it's something I could use a little more of in my life right now.

Well, i'm always up for light hearted things.

Truth be told I have a hard time taking much seriously being an immature man child with the attention span of plankton but hey ho.

But look on the bright side.

It's Friday now and young people will be out partying tonight while ageing bastards like me will be sat in wondering why we aren't partying anymore .... and when we try to go to a club it feels like we're bloody babysitting.

 

[Tanakh]

Just as a comment, I think it's a little adolecent to make a big deal out of sexual preferences... ohh wait, this is a teenage mostly forum... forgot, carry on mate and gl.

It's Friday now and young people will be out partying tonight while ageing bastards like me will be sat in wondering why we aren't partying anymore .... and when we try to go to a club it feels like we're bloody babysitting.

Classical concerts man, I have gotten the same ammount of girls phones in clubs than in concerst, and now that I am almost 30 it's a much more enjoyable and reliable way to get to know people for casual dating.

And FUCK FEELING OLD, you are lucky you are a guy dude, you don't get old, you get mature!

 

[Twilight_guy]

I've heard that transgender people (at least some of them, pardon my limited experience) 'feel' that they were born the wrong way or the wrong gender or somehow are off and thus are transgender as a way to correct that. I don't understand that since I don't know what it 'feels' like to be a gender or to be the wrong gender. I understand social structures built around gender and I understand being attracted to a different sex then a straight person, but feminism seeks to end limiting and unfair gender structures, and homosexuals and bisexuals exist, so obviously those things aren't the same since they are addressed with different outcomes. I can assume that this 'feeling' of a gender is something I have yet to consider and thus have overlooked and I'd like your insight into what exactly is at the core of what defines one's gender and how one feels their gender. I think I'll be missing a critical component that I need to understand sexuality in general until I can figure it out.

Most, if not all, of us feel a sense of gender dysphoria. Why this happens is not fully explained as of yet, but with recent studies we have a generally good idea as to what causes it. In the womb, as a child develops, they go through several chemical washes that are designated by the genetic code of the individual, usually resulting in a normal child. With us transgendered people, this process is generally disrupted in one form or another, only resulting in a partial, if not nonexistent, chemical wash of the corresponding hormone. The brain develops along a different path than the body, resulting in the dysphoric feelings that many of us first make sense of around ages 4 and 5. You don't feel anything like this because you got the right balance of your sex's hormone during this period, and as such, do not experience the feelings we do. The closest parallel that I can give is one a poster mentioned in a previous thread: it's kinda like phantom limb syndrome: you have a mental blueprint of your body, and when you lose a limb you have phantom sensations that your mind is telling you are coming from your limb, but it's not there. Gender dysphoria is something of a similar sensation.

Thanks for the insight. I might not feel the same way about my gender but at least I can empathize better now.

 

[an annoyed writer]

Thanks for the insight. I might not feel the same way about my gender but at least I can empathize better now.

Glad I could help. It's not the easiest of concepts to explain, so I'm glad the message got through. Some people find my answers to these questions a little didactic.