Troll slaying the E-Z way

[Souplex]

Spoiler: Foreword

A few weeks ago there was a minor troll invasion. It was over fairly quickly but it had made one thing clear; many Escapists did not know what to do when they encountered a troll. I messaged Kuliani and asked him to update the forum guidelines to contain info on dealing with trolls. He told me if I wrote something good enough on the subject he would use that, so here it is. Enjoy!

Trolls and you!

Spoiler: Part one: What is a troll?

A troll is someone who posts simply to anger and with no intention of contributing. It can be as blatant as someone posting "Racial slur Racial slur Racial slur Racial slur Racial slur Racial slur Racial slur Racial slur Racial slur!", or as subtle as someone posting "Popular thing is dumb and the people who like it are dumb". Someone who posts an opinion you disagree with, is not a troll however.

Spoiler: Part two: Slaying the troll!

The title is something of a misnomer; there is nothing active when it comes to disposing of the trolls. I have broken it down into three easy steps.
1: Spot the troll.
2: Make sure the troll is indeed a troll.
3: Hit the report button at the bottom left of their post.
Follow these steps exactly and the banhammer shall fall from the sky slaying the beast instantly.

Spoiler: A dramatization of reporting a troll

Do not deviate from these steps in any way. Do not post in a troll thread as the troll feeds on attention. Your post cannot make a difference and change the troll's ways no matter how clever it is. Even the sharpest rapier wit and the hottest flames cannot harm the troll, it will only give the troll the attention it desires and the satisfaction of getting a rise out of you.

Souplex: And there you have it kids, troll slaying made easy!
Lil' Jimmy: Gee wilikers Mr. Plex, why do the trolls do it?
Souplex: Nobody is entirely sure but the trolls themselves. It doesn't matter though, for trolls like communists are always out there! We need to be ready for they can strike at any time! But when they do...
Lil' Jimmy: Report and move on!
Souplex: Now you're getting it! *Musses Lil' Jimmy's hair*

 

[Kuliani]

I approve of this message. Please read if you dislike trolling members.

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

Heh, nice one Souplex, I saw it when you posted in E.C.A.P.
When do we get our laser guided missiles?
[small]And thus, some more people learned how to act when trolls attack...[/small]

 

[TheNamlessGuy]

DELETED

 

[DannyBoy451]

But...

It's fun to feed trolls.
They say so stupid things when you do!
And they still get banned anyway...

I'm always far more entertained by the stupid things people being trolled say.

 

[Cameron Baxter]

yer trolling does get really annoying i joined this forum just to say how outof order this one guy was being then i realised he was a troll and doing it for a reaction

 

[DemonicVixen]

Why does it have to be guided missiles? Why not something more heavy? i know nothing of military arms lol

 

[Z of the Na'vi]

You could just, ya know, ignore them.

It's much easier.

 

[Jedamethis]

Why does it have to be guided missiles? Why not something more heavy?

The guided missiles are just to make sure the banhammer doesn't miss

 

[Fappy]

Seriously... who trolls these forums? You're only supposed to troll forums full of stupid people.

 

[Neonbob]

I can only hope this thread has more of an effect on the community at large than any of the previous ones.
Seriously, it sucks to see a troll thread get more than two replies.
It'd do my soul a great deal of good to see one locked without a single post more often.

 

[TheNamlessGuy]

DELETED

 

[Jedamethis]

Seriously... who trolls these forums? You're only supposed to troll forums full of stupid people.

Well, trolls aren't the brightest of people, and never ones to do what they're supposed to...

 

[driveBYargument]

And now I know... And Knowing is half the battle!

 

[Goldeneye1989]

But Mister dont troll s have a voice that even allows them to troll? dont they have the choice to be trolls, they will be hated and banned for it but they have the choice to live and to love and one day they might, just maybe not troll?


.... no little jimmy, once you troll, there is not other way to roll.

 

[Fappy]

Seriously... who trolls these forums? You're only supposed to troll forums full of stupid people.

Was that a joke? Not to say that The Escapist is filled with retards, but.. You probably get my point..

OT; You know what the easiest way of dealing with the trolls is? Ignoring them! Unless they post images such as goatse, in that case you start fapping. That'll make them so confused that they leave.

Lol, nah I wasn't implying anything. The best and only way to troll is to troll IRL. It really has a way of turning your day around