True excuses that sound like bullshit?

[ajb924]

Ever had one of those times when you have an excuse for something but no one believes you?
My favorite would be last year when my mom walked into my room and I had both of my hands in my pants, I told her my hands were freezing, she just rolled her eyes and walked out.

So, what is your excuse that no one has believed?

 

[NeutralDrow]

My cat ate my homework.

Well...he didn't so much eat my homework as chew it to pieces, but I swear that actually happened.

 

[SquirrelPants]

Mine was just today, actually: I can't come eat dinner, I'm in the middle of a dramatic reading of My Immortal!

 

[hagaya]

My dog ate my homework. Cliche, outrageous, and just dumb; but true.

 

[firedfns13]

No but somehow I can fill in holes in my excuses in an instant. Though idk if they were believed because my Mom doesn't really care what I do since I'm such a goody goody.

 

[ajb924]

My dog ate my homework. Cliche, outrageous, and just dumb; but true.

Happened to me once, then I brought in my dog. She believed me at that point.

 

[300lb. Samoan]

because I got high

 

[NeutralDrow]

because I got high

Your room is still messed up, and you know why?

 

[dududf]

because I got high

Your room is still messed up, and you know why?

I got hit by a car, and thrown in the back of a cop car for "Causing an accident due to jaywalking" I was let free later. Best Part? I Only had a nasty bruise on my right arm and right thigh. Aparently bruises aren't "Enough proof"

 

[Bofus Teefus]

Three problems at once:
- Already running late
- Wallet missing (I think I left it at a resturaunt the night before)
- Enough gas in my tank to get to work, but not enough to make it back home

Given this, I called work in a panic (much to my boss's enjoyment) and explained what was going on. I couldn't come in until I found my wallet, and couldn't do that until the resturaunt I thought I left it at opened. While waiting for the place to open, I started checking everywhere in my apartment for the wallet (in case it wasn't at the resturaunt.) I found my wallet underneath my coffee table.

Now you may ask "Bofus, why did you put your wallet under your coffee table?" I'll reply "I didn't. My cat put it there." Bad kitty.

 

[Pimppeter2]

I was arrested for peeing in a public area. Not so much arrested as put in the back of a cop car till I was sober enough to walk home.

Cops in my area are generally nice

 

[War Penguin]

I missed the buss.

My teachers say they believe me but this thread makes me suspicious about that.
.>

 

[Emperor Inferno]

"My dog ate my homework."

I have used this excuse exactly as many times as it's been true: once. I got home one day after having left all my completed assignments in my binder in my room. My dog literally ate my homework, and what I mean by that is he didn't just chew up the binder and all the paper in it, he actually chewed and swallowed a shocking amount of paper. We thought he was gonna get sick and die. Fortunately, he just shit soggy paper for a week.

 

[Yuno]

"My English teacher stole my English homework."

As ridiculous as this sounds, it's true. She thought I was drawing (...which I was.) so she stole my papers, one of which was my research paper... for English- which she marked as late.

 

[Slayer_2]

I came home from school about 2 hours after it ended, chewing a piece of gum and when my mother questioned me, I said I was hanging out with friends. She didn't believe me and tried to sniff me to see if I had been getting high or something. I told her about my no drugs/booze policy and she didn't believe me. I felt kind of pissed, because my own mother immediately assumed that all teenagers drink and smoke weed.

 

[Nickson]

Mom: What were you just watching on the computer?

Me: Videos of Pavarotti.