Truly awful books

[The_root_of_all_evil]

1) Jane Eyre.

And so reader, I mocked her.

Seriously? What was wrong with it?

 

[zirnitra]

the bible, anything by tom clancy and the secret garden.

 

[Asymptote Angel]

Being in the Honors/AP English program in high school has introduced me to quite a few novels and plays I liked quite a lot (Wuthering Heights, Jekyll & Hyde, The Crucible, Great Expectations, Hamlet, Wit). However, it has also introduced me to what are hands-down the worst books I have ever read:
-The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
-Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
-Cannery Row by John Steinbeck (DAMN, that was insufferable)

And I really didn't like Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton, but I guess it wasn't a bad book. Just didn't click with me.

Now that I think about it, The Two Towers wasn't fun to read either. It wasn't badly written--and I quite liked the LotR series--but it is very, very, VERY dry, especially in the second half.

 

[The Wooster]

Atlas Shrugged

The bible of douchebaggery

 

[finalcut315]

I personally hate the Harry Potter series. I never finished the first book. That doesn't mean I gave up right then, I still tried to read the others.

I'd think they were decent if they didn't try and remind me who everyone was and what had happened before. I prefer books that hope I'm not eight, and I can remember whats happened if it's well written. also I didn't like "the uglies" I just think it's too frank to send much of a message.

 

[Lord Krunk]

The most recent Artemis Fowl.
Book 1: NICE!
Book 2: EVEN BETTER!
Book 3: WOW!
Book 4: AWESOME!
Book 5: Ummm...yay?
Book 6: Bleurgh.

I haven't read the 6th book, but for all the others, that's the impression I got.

 

[Lord Krunk]

Okay, I've never actually read this book, but this is the best review of a terrible book I've ever seen:

http://www.amazon.com/review/R1LPA5YOND6TGD/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm

Geez, how did that book even get published?

 

[Copter400]

Atlas Shrugged

DISHONOUR!!!

Future Eden. The cheapest rip-off of Hitchhiker's I've ever seen. None of their shit makes any sense.

 

[H0ncho]

Stood around for 5 hours to get it too and I loved every second of it.

We (my family) got it two or three days before official launch from a bookshopkeeper who obviously didn't quite agree with the publisher about the correct date for its release was. I have been gloating about the people standing in long queues for it all since then

 

[Jobz]

I personally hate the Harry Potter series. I never finished the first book. That doesn't mean I gave up right then, I still tried to read the others.

I loved them, I read the 7th book in less than 2 days. Stood around for 5 hours to get it too and I loved every second of it.

^Agreed. Stood in like for about four hours to get The Deathly Hallows at the midnight release. I love every one of them, the movies are awful though.

Anyway, with regard to the topic, the worst book I've ever read was easily Digital Fortress by Dan Brown. The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons were pretty good, I even enjoyed Deception Point. But DF was just awful.

 

[Shivari]

Stood around for 5 hours to get it too and I loved every second of it.

We (my family) got it two or three days before official launch from a bookshopkeeper who obviously didn't quite agree with the publisher about the correct date for its release was. I have been gloating about the people standing in long queues for it all since then

It was great fun though. I got there early with my brother, stood in line for about an hour, got our wristbands, and then walked over to the movie theater to see Harry Potter 5 for the second time. We then walked around the area (we went to a Barnes & Noble at a nice outdoor mall, so it's a cool place to just walk around) and later stood around looking at books in the store. It was sweet when we walked around and in the parking lot and some people had little wands with glowing tips and one shouted "EXPECTO PETRONUM" really loud. It was hilarious to watch.

Really after one event I have no problem waiting in line for obscene amounts of time. I once wen to the IX Center to get an autograph from Batista. I stood in line for 5 hours and he left before I got up there. Waiting in line is nothing now.

 

[Silvertongue]

I'd think they were decent if they didn't try and remind me who everyone was and what had happened before. I prefer books that hope I'm not eight, and I can remember whats happened if it's well written. also I didn't like "the uglies" I just think it's too frank to send much of a message.

Even one of my favorite authors, Harry Turtledove, does that from time to time, but only once every book in a series. My girlfriend loves HP and that whole "Uglies" series. She tries to tell me all about it. Ugh.

 

[Ancalagon]

Okay, I've never actually read this book, but this is the best review of a terrible book I've ever seen:

http://www.amazon.com/review/R1LPA5YOND6TGD/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm

Geez, how did that book even get published?

I think it was a vanity publisher. They charge the author to publish their book; the author believes that their work is good enough that they can sell enough copies to cover the initial outlay, while making a tidy sum for themselves. In all but a tiny handful of cases, the client is very, very wrong.

 

[Silvertongue]

Vanity publisher? Please, enlighten us if you have more examples. That sounds interesting.

 

[Ancalagon]

Vanity publisher? Please, enlighten us if you have more examples. That sounds interesting.

Some background on vanity publishers:

http://www.societyofauthors.org/publications/vanity_publishing/

The publisher the author in question used:

http://www.authorhouse.co.uk

A couple of others:

http://www.1stworldpublishing.com
http://www.dorrancepublishing.com

 

[Xhumed]

The Thomas Covenant Series : I've got feeling back so I'll rape the first woman I see...And this is the Hero????
The Da Vinci Code : 'nuff said.

Ah, yes, that pretty much made me hate him right off the bat. His constant fucking whining didn't help either.
Bloody lepers (j/k, I'm sure lepers are very lovely people really. Just not this fictional one.)

 

[Adam92]

The most recent Artemis Fowl.
Book 1: NICE!
Book 2: EVEN BETTER!
Book 3: WOW!
Book 4: AWESOME!
Book 5: Ummm...yay?
Book 6: Bleurgh.

I've got to agree with you there I didn't like the lack of Foaly and Butler in this book.

 

[Altorin]

I was really offput by the Onslaught series by J Robert King, or Robert J King, or something.

gah

just thinking about them brings bile to the back of my throat

 

[Tattaglia]

Okay, I've never actually read this book, but this is the best review of a terrible book I've ever seen:

http://www.amazon.com/review/R1LPA5YOND6TGD/ref=cm_cr_rdp_perm

Geez, how did that book even get published?

I burst into laughter at "The Satanist Group Association". Wow. Must've taken many hours of brainstorming to get that piece of shite.