Trying to Talk to a Girl on Facebook

[Sectan]

Warning: Through the course of this OP I'll probably sound like a 13 year old talking about his crush instead of an adult. Or I'll sound like an adult obsessing over someone...


EDIT: After reading what I wrote in the spoiler I really want to delete it. I actually do sound like a Creepy McCreeperson, but it's how I feel about the situation.

Spoiler

So the story begins at a convention. My cousin invited me to go with a few of her friends to a con and do...whatever you do at a con. Over the course of the day I went off on my own and decided to meet up with my cousin. Sitting next to her was, as you could guess, just a genuinely cute girl. As a bonus she was cosplaying, which never hurts. I introduced myself, we had a pleasant conversation about the usual anime subjects and ecchi. (I'm not joking...) Laughs were shared and it wasn't a bad experience. It was getting late at that time so everyone went back to their rooms. I asked my cousin about her and found out she was single and not dating. I went back with a goal to get to know my crush a bit better and see how things went.

I never saw her again.



In the past I have been too shy to do anything when I had crushes. I wouldn't say anything to them or make an effort to let them know I was interested since my confidence was nil and I was a shy highschooler. After 9 years of doing nothing I decided I'd just jump and see where I landed this time. So I IMMEDIATELY sent her a friend request on Facebook 3 days after I got home... I felt like a total creep. She accepted and there's been a bit of back and forth talk, but I'm starting to get the impression that she might not be interested. It's totally fine if she isn't and I honestly mean that, but there isn't exactly a status update of "LEAVE ME ALONE!" (She could be shy, but I really doubt that.)

I'm initiating most of the chatting, and while she's extremely polite and talks to me like I'm a human being, there's not a whole lot of conversation going on. I ask her about something, she'll reply. I ask, she'll reply. My messages aren't all questions, though. "If you're bored some day you should try *F2P Game*." *Crickets*. (I might be over-thinking these things. Also I like using parentheses apparently)

I've made it a point not to spam her with messages. I usually wait about 2 or 3 days for a response so it's not like I'm constantly tabbing into Facebook to check. I haven't gone onto her page and started liking every single one of her posts and pictures. There have been no "HAVE MY BABIES YOU'RE PRETTY AND SMART AND DOESN'T AFRAID OF ANYTHING!" comments as of yet. [sub][sub][sub][sub][sub](Although I think that O_O)[/sub][/sub][/sub][/sub][/sub].

So, there are the ramblings of a mad man. I guess Idk what else to say. She's in college and I'm sure she's really busy. I'd also be surprised if she doesn't get a lot of unwanted male attention and basically has to chase people with a broom to leave her alone. The last thing I want to do is bother her or flat out make her uncomfortable. Even though the OP would do a great job of that.

Should I leave her be? Call it quits? Keep talking? Take a trip to the Grand Canyon and think about the universe?

 

[Thaluikhain]

If you think you might be being a creeper, you probably really should rethink what you are doing.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

If you're getting the impression she's not interested, then just straight up ask her.

Tell her you enjoyed the small amount of time you spent together and you would love if that could happen again.

Be sincere, don't sound too needy, and most of all, be a gentleman.

 

[Sectan]

If you're getting the impression she's not interested, then just straight up ask her.

Tell her you enjoyed the small amount of time you spent together and you would love if that could happen again.

Be sincere, don't sound too needy, and most of all, be a gentleman.

What? You mean be straightforward and honest? It's a great idea and probably the best thing a person could do, but I can't really see myself going for small talk chit chat to Super Serious Talk. That coupled with the fact that she lives in another state makes the situation feel pretty hopeless from this side. I've gotten really good at ignoring things like this until they just sputter out and die on their own.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

If you're getting the impression she's not interested, then just straight up ask her.

Tell her you enjoyed the small amount of time you spent together and you would love if that could happen again.

Be sincere, don't sound too needy, and most of all, be a gentleman.

What? You mean be straightforward and honest? It's a great idea and probably the best thing a person could do, but I can't really see myself going for small talk chit chat to Super Serious Talk. That coupled with the fact that she lives in another state makes the situation feel pretty hopeless from this side. I've gotten really good at ignoring things like this until they just sputter out and die on their own.

Why not?

What's the worst that could happen?

Worst case scenario, she doesn't talk to you again, which by the looks of it, is going to happen anyway.

 

[Morneion]

Tell her what you feel and say something like "hey let?s grab some coffee, my treat.". It doesn?t have to be elaborate, just don't go "idk what do you want to do choose".

And if she isn't interested in you, let it go.

 

[renegade7]

Well, from personal experience, nothing good ever comes from an "internet relationship". You met someone, you had a nice conversation. It doesn't have to go any further than that. I'd say let this one go before you hurt yourself and try to meet someone you can talk to in person: you'll be happier that way.

 

[VanQ]

If you're getting the impression she's not interested, then just straight up ask her.

Tell her you enjoyed the small amount of time you spent together and you would love if that could happen again.

Be sincere, don't sound too needy, and most of all, be a gentleman.

In an ideal world, this would be solid advice. In this imperfect world, this is the worst advice you could give him.

Telling any girl straight up that you like them is going to send off a million red lights and alarms in her head. It's sad but being direct with a girl isn't usually the best course of action. Rather than telling her he likes her, it's probably a better idea to ask her to hang out some time.

If she says no or she's acting like she's dodging the invitation then she's probably not interested. You can be certain that if a girl is into you and she isn't some super dedicated career woman that she'll take any excuse to spend time with you.

So I suggest OP gives that a try, rather than acting like a creep and telling her over FaceBook that he likes her after only meeting her once. Who tells someone they like them over FaceBook anyway? That's something you ought to do face to face, but maybe I'm just old fashioned?

 

[Phasmal]

If you're getting the impression she's not interested, then just straight up ask her.

Tell her you enjoyed the small amount of time you spent together and you would love if that could happen again.

Be sincere, don't sound too needy, and most of all, be a gentleman.

In an ideal world, this would be solid advice. In this imperfect world, this is the worst advice you could give him.

Telling any girl straight up that you like them is going to send off a million red lights and alarms in her head. It's sad but being direct with a girl isn't usually the best course of action. Rather than telling her he likes her, it's probably a better idea to ask her to hang out some time.

If she says no or she's acting like she's dodging the invitation then she's probably not interested. You can be certain that if a girl is into you and she isn't some super dedicated career woman that she'll take any excuse to spend time with you.

So I suggest OP gives that a try, rather than acting like a creep and telling her over FaceBook that he likes her after only meeting her once. Who tells someone they like them over FaceBook anyway? That's something you ought to do face to face, but maybe I'm just old fashioned?

Maybe, but don't assume wanting to hang out with someone means that girl is gonna be interested in more than a friendship. Most of my friends are dudes, one of them asking me to hang out wouldn't be anything special at all.

I think it's probably better to be direct. Yeah, you should probably hang out a few more times if you can, but don't try and just befriend her if you wouldn't be happy just being friends. You should be honest with your intentions.

If she's not into you, she's not. Not telling her won't make it any better.

 

[VanQ]

Maybe, but don't assume wanting to hang out with someone means that girl is gonna be interested in more than a friendship. Most of my friends are dudes, one of them asking me to hang out wouldn't be anything special at all.

I think it's probably better to be direct. Yeah, you should probably hang out a few more times if you can, but don't try and just befriend her if you wouldn't be happy just being friends. You should be honest with your intentions.

If she's not into you, she's not. Not telling her won't make it any better.

No, but it's a good first step. Something that outright telling her is not. How many times do you think a guy telling a girl he likes her after only meeting her once went well? I'm sure it's happened but the chances are miniscule. My point was that he should spend some time with her before diving into it head first.

I do think he should tell her, just not so soon.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Oh damn you should have asked her out long ago, but I guess going in late is better then never because you at least get a definitive answer one way or the other.
When you do ask her out don't gush with whatever it is you are feeling because then she will just run away and make it clear it is a date date, you don't want to get pulled along for a friendship ride while she dates everyone except you.

Also be a bit more real about this, you don't have to be 13 to have crushes our hormones go wild just the same when meeting attractive people, there is nothing wrong with that just be sure to understand yourself before diving head first into this.