U.S. Government Denies Existence of Mermaids

[go-10]

of course they're not real they have a tail where the reproductive parts would be so they all died because of failure to procreate
also
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http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/005/848/ancient-aliens.jpg

 

[Naeras]

Pfff. This is all a liberal conspiracy to corrupt our children. They said Santa wasn't real either.

 

[DJR33DY]

In other news, Unicorns are horses with ice cream cones glued to their heads.

 

[willofbob]

Hello, Dr. Jacobs. No, don't get up, stay seated, have a biscuit. Now, this mermaids thing, could you tell me about it? Into the tape recorder, please. Interesting. Now, in the interest of preserving public normality, I'm going to have to make you forget you saw anything.
Dr. Photosynthetic? Could you hand me the amnesiacs please. I think class A for this one. Thank you. Those will come in to effect in a few minutes. I'm aware that Hellsing, Iscariot, the G.O.C, the MiB and Torchwood have already been around for this exact thing. You may want to consider a new career, doctor.
Oop! Easy now. Looks like you're just about gone, then. How about we answer a few questions before you go then?

Sir! Excuse me!

Bob Harrison, ISN News. Would you also care to comment on the existence of aliens? Of Fae? Jabberwocky? Dragons? Eldritch Horror? And everything else seen or heard of in Cabin in the Woods?

Aliens, probably, Fae, sort of, Jabberwocky, don't be stupid, only one dragon, and it overlaps with the Eldritch Horror category (of which there are a distressing amount) quite a bit.
Looks like you're down for the count, then, doctor. Don't worry, though. In a few minutes, you'll wake up with no knowledge of mermaids and an urge to refute their existence. Good night, doctor.

Well, good job everyone. Photo, would you mind calling it in, I've gotta go set the mermaid free. Again. Goddamn Ariel, always snooping around.