*sniffs*
Can you smell it my fellow commanders?
well, can you? i cant, Ultrajoe was born without a sense of smell (seriously, no joke)
Its the scent... of battle!
Ok, so its the scent of paint covered fingers shuffling little men into interesting formations and rolling dice. As such, i feel the need to separate this review into 2 parts. A part for What an outsider sees, a physical breakdown and a summation of the obvious facts of the game.
It will not be flattering... but the game has a rabid fanbase, a thriving economy and bright future, so the second part will be a view from the inside, what keeps players hooked and what is so golden that it can overcome the glaring faults of part 1? We shall see....
PART 1: A Disapproving Dissection
Ugh, Warhammer, as i sit here i look over at those huddles morons...
The game is an affront to logic! how can they actually be enjoying themselves! Take the cost! a pack of those little thumb sized models can be $50! and if your a tyranid player like that poor sod Ultrajoe (devilishly handsome he may be) your paying $100 for a single brood!
Oh, and then there's the associated costs... paint... terrain... codex's... dice... and ever more models, a true player can really never stop. Its like a drain for your income, you pour it in, and there's always room for more! Oho i hear you say, but what if the game is really that fun?
Its not. The game is a slog of rules and dice rolls, an endless tirade of repetetive action. And for What! so you can do it all again and spend money so you can roll even more dice! Cackling as if those little plastic men were really shooting each other! getting emotional over a stupid little carnifex getting killed by some improbable roll.
And the rules! boom after book of rules! its a minefield of required expertise and pointless checking to see if any special rules mean that plastic shit can shoot that plastic shit!
"Its just probability you idiots" i call across the street... they just give me a blank confused scare...
Idiots, the game is a cash cow that relies on the insanity of its players to have any enjoyment... now go away, i have things to do.
PART 2: The Other End Of The Stick
Oh my god, did you SEE that?
Jesus! his guardsman just stuck a bayonet in the ass of my Carnifex!
This does not happen!
Whew, this is why the lictors i ordered in are so important, lurking in the undergrowth they can spring out and put fear into the heart of any sneaking guards-vermin.
Oh hi there, welcome to the game. I suppose after a chat with mr Logic over there your ready to hear the good? i thought so.
Well, there is none, he was right in every respect... but we do take the game beyond what he said....
With the shared imagination of you and your friends, that guardsman really did just fell an alien monstrosity, with a joint willingness to suspend disbelief, you want that model to go on and survive. We pay to let our imaginations run wild in a universe full of adventure.
And a big universe it is, the mythos of the game extends to books, comics, art and some shit-god-super-awful fan movies... and even video games. The game is not what we pay for as players.
We pay for the experience of the game. We pay for golden moments and soaring flights of imaginary fancy, we paint our models because they are the representatives of our imaginary battles, the avatars of an inner world the game lets us bring to life. We pay so we can share with friends a love of the unreal and the laughs of a genestealer taking out a land-raider.
That guy across the street sees only what we pay for.
But we get the best deal of all, because as well as the models and crap we buy... we get an infinite experience of the universe we are at one with.
And thats why i recommend WH40K to anyone who has an imagination and a bit of cash.
Its what happens, not what you buy, that makes it truly spectacular.
=======================
Once again, not a conventional review, because the true nature game is not that conventional. more wanted to capture the midsets of players and critics, more than talk about features of a game that really, needs wither nothing less than a book or nothing more than a paragraph to describe.
I would add pictures, but all of them are shitty pictures of my models, and i am not a mean painter.
Can you smell it my fellow commanders?
well, can you? i cant, Ultrajoe was born without a sense of smell (seriously, no joke)
Its the scent... of battle!
Ok, so its the scent of paint covered fingers shuffling little men into interesting formations and rolling dice. As such, i feel the need to separate this review into 2 parts. A part for What an outsider sees, a physical breakdown and a summation of the obvious facts of the game.
It will not be flattering... but the game has a rabid fanbase, a thriving economy and bright future, so the second part will be a view from the inside, what keeps players hooked and what is so golden that it can overcome the glaring faults of part 1? We shall see....
PART 1: A Disapproving Dissection
Ugh, Warhammer, as i sit here i look over at those huddles morons...
The game is an affront to logic! how can they actually be enjoying themselves! Take the cost! a pack of those little thumb sized models can be $50! and if your a tyranid player like that poor sod Ultrajoe (devilishly handsome he may be) your paying $100 for a single brood!
Oh, and then there's the associated costs... paint... terrain... codex's... dice... and ever more models, a true player can really never stop. Its like a drain for your income, you pour it in, and there's always room for more! Oho i hear you say, but what if the game is really that fun?
Its not. The game is a slog of rules and dice rolls, an endless tirade of repetetive action. And for What! so you can do it all again and spend money so you can roll even more dice! Cackling as if those little plastic men were really shooting each other! getting emotional over a stupid little carnifex getting killed by some improbable roll.
And the rules! boom after book of rules! its a minefield of required expertise and pointless checking to see if any special rules mean that plastic shit can shoot that plastic shit!
"Its just probability you idiots" i call across the street... they just give me a blank confused scare...
Idiots, the game is a cash cow that relies on the insanity of its players to have any enjoyment... now go away, i have things to do.
PART 2: The Other End Of The Stick
Oh my god, did you SEE that?
Jesus! his guardsman just stuck a bayonet in the ass of my Carnifex!
This does not happen!
Whew, this is why the lictors i ordered in are so important, lurking in the undergrowth they can spring out and put fear into the heart of any sneaking guards-vermin.
Oh hi there, welcome to the game. I suppose after a chat with mr Logic over there your ready to hear the good? i thought so.
Well, there is none, he was right in every respect... but we do take the game beyond what he said....
With the shared imagination of you and your friends, that guardsman really did just fell an alien monstrosity, with a joint willingness to suspend disbelief, you want that model to go on and survive. We pay to let our imaginations run wild in a universe full of adventure.
And a big universe it is, the mythos of the game extends to books, comics, art and some shit-god-super-awful fan movies... and even video games. The game is not what we pay for as players.
We pay for the experience of the game. We pay for golden moments and soaring flights of imaginary fancy, we paint our models because they are the representatives of our imaginary battles, the avatars of an inner world the game lets us bring to life. We pay so we can share with friends a love of the unreal and the laughs of a genestealer taking out a land-raider.
That guy across the street sees only what we pay for.
But we get the best deal of all, because as well as the models and crap we buy... we get an infinite experience of the universe we are at one with.
And thats why i recommend WH40K to anyone who has an imagination and a bit of cash.
Its what happens, not what you buy, that makes it truly spectacular.
=======================
Once again, not a conventional review, because the true nature game is not that conventional. more wanted to capture the midsets of players and critics, more than talk about features of a game that really, needs wither nothing less than a book or nothing more than a paragraph to describe.
I would add pictures, but all of them are shitty pictures of my models, and i am not a mean painter.
