Unexpected News: The Wachowski Sisters! Second Wachowski Sibling Comes Out As Trans.

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moose7

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Yeah being trans is terrifying. I only started hormones a few months ago and so far the effects have been pretty amazing. All kinds of emotional problems are going away but I've already been disowned by my dad and I'm terrified of coming out at work and losing my job. I'm not out yet so I haven't had to deal with any harassment or skip using the bathroom out of fear yet like a lot of other trans folk. The worst part is that all these issues are being caused because people think that whats between my legs is some how more important then whats between my ears. I have a female brain, the effects of the hormone treatment proves that. So if you must have an objective truth to tie your pronouns too then use my brain because that determines who I am far more then my body does.

Also KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime I love your Pokemon based trans flag avatar.
 

KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime

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moose7 said:
Yeah being trans is terrifying. I only started hormones a few months ago and so far the effects have been pretty amazing. All kinds of emotional problems are going away but I've already been disowned by my dad and I'm terrified of coming out at work and losing my job. I'm not out yet so I haven't had to deal with any harassment or skip using the bathroom out of fear yet like a lot of other trans folk. The worst part is that all these issues are being caused because people think that whats between my legs is some how more important then whats between my ears. I have a female brain, the effects of the hormone treatment proves that. So if you must have an objective truth to tie your pronouns too then use my brain because that determines who I am far more then my body does.
This is an excellent way to put it, most people get all tied up in genitals, which honestly is something that they will never see, nor have to interact with. Really people seem to get all weird about trans folk, because really society puts all these sexual stigmas on everyone, especially when the person in question isn't straight, or cis.

I'm sorry that you were disowned by your dad, it really sucks when family gets so caught up in their own biases to the point where the abandon a loved one. Especially when that loved one is in such a sensitive place. As for your work... Well do you work with anyone else who is LGBTQ+? If they do they might have some insight into what to expect when you should expect when you come out.

moose7 said:
Also KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime I love your Pokemon based trans flag avatar.
Aww! Thanks, that made my night! I was torn between Sylveon and Milotic, but Sylveon has become my favorite pokemon and not just because it's trans pride colors. Though I went into it with the idea to use a trans pride flag and Sylveon. I got tired of making avatars with just a trans pride filter and I think this looks a lot better.

Edit! Ack I almost forgot, I got distracted while writing my post. Congrats on getting HRT!!!
 

Gordon_4_v1legacy

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Richard Gozin-Yu said:
KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime said:
ThatOtherGirl said:
And even if the police are cooperative it doesn't mean anything is going to get worked out. So many trans people just wont report being attacked. I probably wouldn't. Unless there is a body these things rarely go to trial.
To expand on this I was harassed for years by a person, who eventually attempted to rape me, even after that event I couldn't get a restraining order on them, or a investigation of the attempted rape. I've never had a truly bad experience with the police either... But that failure on the law's part told me I'm not going to get help in those situations.
A martial art that emphasizes simple, often improvised weaponry is a good place to start, like Escrima. Sure, you won't learn how to use a sword or a spear, or kick three pots in one jump. You will learn how to beat the life out of someone with a couple of sticks though (and use knives if you want to). I know that a lot of people, especially Americans favor guns, but they're overrated for most people, in most situations. They're great for murdering someone from ambush, and they feel big and heavy and impressive, but unless you're actually trained in the use of it to the point of keeping a calm head in a crisis, it's just a scary lottery with lethal consequences. Sticks are easy. Sticks are everywhere. Sticks can fuck you up. Sticks are also legal everywhere, and finally, if you need training anyway to be effective in a crisis, why not train with something you can use anywhere and anytime?

Any likely self defense situation you can't get out of with Escrima and some sticks, or a knife, you probably weren't going to get out of anyway.
Fascinating art, Escrima. I did Jiujitsu for a long time and I feel what I learned would be equally applicable to your point. Never did weapon work though, our school wasn't really equipped for it.


OT: I gotta ask; I skimmed the article but I don't feel I came away knowing arguably the most important part of this story. Are they happy?
 

elvor0

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Doesn't this article kind of...add to the over all problem of sensationalizing her outing? I mean I know the article doesn't really talk about her outing so much as the fact that she was forced to do so and the OP has no malicious or offensive intent what so ever, but I feel like the thread title could've been worded more along the lines of "Second Wachowski sibling forced to out herself".

I dunno, I just feel like making a big thing out of all this makes transitioning to a state where no one cares harder because its always a song and dance. Obviously it is difficult to come out, even more so as trans I imagine, but making a huge media frenzy every time someone comes out is bad enough, but then everyone else joins in, whether your intentions are good or not, I think sensationalizing the matter is making it harder us to get to a point where noone cares if you're trans. If people just went "oh right", like most decent people do with gay people (just as an example, because that's not as interesting a scoop anymore because noone cares), I think it would hurry along trans people to be as boringly normal as the rest of us.
 

elvor0

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KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime said:
The linguistic argument "well if words still mean what they mean" is an argument used by people who default to a strict dictionary definition to back up personal bigotries and biases. It's someone trying not to sound bigoted when they're being a bigot, nothing more, nothing less.
I don't think this is a healthy attitude to take. He's not wrong, they are still genetically brothers. He didn't say anything hostile, just a cold, hard scientific fact. That doesn't innately mean he's bigoted or anti trans. Obviously I should imagine it's immensely frustrating to have your gender questioned as a trans person, but that doesn't change what your chromosomes are.

Now, I don't give a rats arse about your chromosomes from any social point of view(Lilly Wachowski is now Lilly Wachowski, good for her on finding herself) and for 99% of intents and purposes they don't matter, but they do still exist. The bigot label gets thrown around A LOT, when discussing gender politics and it frankly, bugs the shit out of me. Its a word that shuts down discussion, even if the person being accused clearly or hasn't actually done anything hostile. Rather than calling the fellow bigoted, perhaps explain why it is impolite? Otherwise you breed more hostility, I know I get pissed as fuck if someone calls me bigoted when I'm trying to have a discussion when I know damn well I'm not.

We are talking about linguistics here, and you can generally infer what people mean by the context in which they say it. If someone has a problem with X group, they will generally let you fucking know it, they don't dance around the issue. Some people don't even know they're being offensive or "bigoted" and it's much better to educate them so they don't make the same mistake in the future rather than demonize them for something they may not even know they're doing wrong.
 

KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime

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Gordon_4 said:
OT: I gotta ask; I skimmed the article but I don't feel I came away knowing arguably the most important part of this story. Are they happy?
I think it's safe to infer that Lana and Lilly are happier now, than when they were living as the wrong gender. Though I doubt that Lilly is very pleased with the situation that forced to out herself to the general public.

Syzygy23 said:
Why is it plural? Isn't only one of them trans?
Not trying to be mean here, but it'd help if you read the article, searched "The Wachowski Siblings" on Google, or read the thread up to the point where you posted. Still I can understand that this is a trans interest subject, so one who isn't trans might not have all the information. I can also understand that because there are four Wachowski siblings; two who were assigned female at birth, while the other two were assigned male at birth, why this might be confusing. So I'll save you the trouble and confusion and just answer your question as clearly as I can:

It's plural because the second "brother" has come out as trans, Lilly Wachowski came out as trans just like her sister Lana has. Laura and Julie Wachowski though, as far as I know are cisgender women. Meaning that Laura, and Julie were assigned female at birth and their gender identities are also female. Lilly and Lana were assigned male at birth but have come out as trans women. I hope that clears your confusion up.

elvor0 said:
Doesn't this article kind of...add to the over all problem of sensationalizing her outing? I mean I know the article doesn't really talk about her outing so much as the fact that she was forced to do so and the OP has no malicious or offensive intent what so ever, but I feel like the thread title could've been worded more along the lines of "Second Wachowski sibling forced to out herself".
Well unfortunately it would have been a lot worse if the Daily Fail Mail had been able to print it's "exclusive story" on Lilly being trans. Because said article would have been a mean spirited hit piece against Lilly. So Lilly gave the story to another publication first, thus preventing the Daily Mail tabloid to smear her. It's not fair she had to out herself this way, but the alternative is a lot worse.

elvor0 said:
I dunno, I just feel like making a big thing out of all this makes transitioning to a state where no one cares harder because its always a song and dance. Obviously it is difficult to come out, even more so as trans I imagine, but making a huge media frenzy every time someone comes out is bad enough, but then everyone else joins in, whether your intentions are good or not, I think sensationalizing the matter is making it harder us to get to a point where noone cares if you're trans. If people just went "oh right", like most decent people do with gay people (just as an example, because that's not as interesting a scoop anymore because noone cares), I think it would hurry along trans people to be as boringly normal as the rest of us.
The problem is that being trans is controversial, even though it shouldn't be, a lot of people will sensationalize a celebrity being trans just because it's not "normal". Along with that there are a lot of people on both sides of the left/right wing political divide who want to invalidate our identities. That means they have a vested interest in sensationalizing any trans person they can, especially one who's already famous. Honestly the current level of sensationalism around trans folk puts us in the spot light, because this gives us visibility though, it does help with the normalization process. Once people get used to the idea that trans folk exist, only then can the exposure be seen as; "meh so what?" Before we can get to that point though, we need visibility, which means sensationalizing trans people when we're exposed. The same thing happened to the gay community already, so it's not unprecedented, because the growing visibility is sensational, but eventually it stops being so shocking. Pretty typical of the normalization process actually.
 

KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime

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elvor0 said:
KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime said:
The linguistic argument "well if words still mean what they mean" is an argument used by people who default to a strict dictionary definition to back up personal bigotries and biases. It's someone trying not to sound bigoted when they're being a bigot, nothing more, nothing less.
I don't think this is a healthy attitude to take. He's not wrong, they are still genetically brothers. He didn't say anything hostile, just a cold, hard scientific fact. That doesn't innately mean he's bigoted or anti trans. Obviously I should imagine it's immensely frustrating to have your gender questioned as a trans person, but that doesn't change what your chromosomes are.[

Now, I don't give a rats arse about your chromosomes from any social point of view(Lilly Wachowski is now Lilly Wachowski, good for her on finding herself) and for 99% of intents and purposes they don't matter, but they do still exist. The bigot label gets thrown around A LOT, when discussing gender politics and it frankly, bugs the shit out of me. Its a word that shuts down discussion, even if the person being accused clearly or hasn't actually done anything hostile. Rather than calling the fellow bigoted, perhaps explain why it is impolite? Otherwise you breed more hostility, I know I get pissed as fuck if someone calls me bigoted when I'm trying to have a discussion when I know damn well I'm not.

We are talking about linguistics here, and you can generally infer what people mean by the context in which they say it. If someone has a problem with X group, they will generally let you fucking know it, they don't dance around the issue. Some people don't even know they're being offensive or "bigoted" and it's much better to educate them so they don't make the same mistake in the future rather than demonize them for something they may not even know they're doing wrong.
Unfortunately while that all sounds reasonable, the only reason people ever misgender trans folk is to invalidate our identities. It's never not that intent when it comes to intentionally misgendering transgender people. The fact that several people tried to reasonably explain why he was wrong, but he stuck to his guns on the argument anyways, kind of speaks to that. I didn't call him bigoted, I tried to make that clear. What I tried to say was that he's using a bigoted argument, not that he is a bigot. Also did you know quite a lot of cisgender women have XY chromosomes, many undiagnosed because it doesn't impair them medically. There are also a lot of people born physically male who have XX chromosomes, again this goes undiagnosed if it doesn't cause a medical issue, or said person in either group doesn't have a karyotype genetic test. For example I have XX chromosomes despite having been born physically male. Then you have people with XXY, XXXY, XYY, and etc genetic states.

As for just explaining why something is impolite? Well there a number of reasons, but it all boils down to the fact that it tends not to work. We already tried our best to explain why it's impolite, but the disagreement still continued with said person sticking to their statement, even after they admitted they don't know the scientific consensus on this. Basically saying they're going to disrespect people in spite of not knowing the medical, or scientific situation. That is really heavily biased to say the least and that doesn't make it any less insulting either.

The problem is, using dictionary definitions, or misunderstood science are classic tactics for people to sound polite when they're being racist, sexist, homophobic, and/or transphobic. I see these sorts of arguments used far too often for me to just dismiss the argument as not being bigoted. Mind you I say the argument is a bigoted one, what I'm not saying is that the person making the argument is a bigot. Really though the excuse of; "they might not even know what they're doing is wrong", kind of doesn't hold water, especially when the tactic is one commonly used in racism, sexism, homophobia, and transphobia. A lot of people who are indeed racist, sexist, homophobic, or/and transphobic, will dance around the subject, especially in environments where they know open hate speech isn't tolerated. Again I'm not saying Emanuele is a bigot, just that the reasoning they're using is one used to justify bigotry.
 

elvor0

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KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime said:
I didn't call him bigoted, I tried to make that clear, not that he is a bigot.
You said "the linguistic argument is used to back up personal bigotries". That doesn't sound like you're separating the statement from the person to me, BUT if that's what you meant to do, that's cool.

KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime said:
elvor0 said:
KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime said:
The linguistic argument "well if words still mean what they mean" is an argument used by people who default to a strict dictionary definition to back up personal bigotries and biases. It's someone trying not to sound bigoted when they're being a bigot, nothing more, nothing less.
I don't think this is a healthy attitude to take. He's not wrong, they are still genetically brothers. He didn't say anything hostile, just a cold, hard scientific fact. That doesn't innately mean he's bigoted or anti trans. Obviously I should imagine it's immensely frustrating to have your gender questioned as a trans person, but that doesn't change what your chromosomes are.[

Now, I don't give a rats arse about your chromosomes from any social point of view(Lilly Wachowski is now Lilly Wachowski, good for her on finding herself) and for 99% of intents and purposes they don't matter, but they do still exist. The bigot label gets thrown around A LOT, when discussing gender politics and it frankly, bugs the shit out of me. Its a word that shuts down discussion, even if the person being accused clearly or hasn't actually done anything hostile. Rather than calling the fellow bigoted, perhaps explain why it is impolite? Otherwise you breed more hostility, I know I get pissed as fuck if someone calls me bigoted when I'm trying to have a discussion when I know damn well I'm not.

We are talking about linguistics here, and you can generally infer what people mean by the context in which they say it. If someone has a problem with X group, they will generally let you fucking know it, they don't dance around the issue. Some people don't even know they're being offensive or "bigoted" and it's much better to educate them so they don't make the same mistake in the future rather than demonize them for something they may not even know they're doing wrong.
Unfortunately while that all sounds reasonable, the only reason people ever misgender trans folk is to invalidate our identities. It's never not that intent when it comes to intentionally misgendering transgender people. The fact that several people tried to reasonably explain why he was wrong, but he stuck to his guns on the argument anyways, kind of speaks to that. I didn't call him bigoted, I tried to make that clear. What I tried to say was that he's using a bigoted argument, not that he is a bigot. Also did you know quite a lot of cisgender women have XY chromosomes, many undiagnosed because it doesn't impair them medically. There are also a lot of people born physically male who have XX chromosomes, again this goes undiagnosed if it doesn't cause a medical issue, or said person in either group doesn't have a karyotype genetic test. For example I have XX chromosomes despite having been born physically male. Then you have people with XXY, XXXY, XYY, and etc genetic states.
I...did not. But from what I could gleam from google, XY Female Syndrome prevents you from experiencing puberty. Could you link a source for those that go undiagnosed due to no conditions? Because I assume you'd notice. I couldn't find anything myself. XX Male syndrome could certainly go unnoticed given the only symptoms are stated to be a small penis and infertility and "varying degrees of breast growth" going by wikipedia.

The closest I've been to this issue is "Complete androgen insensitivity syndrome" from an episode of House, and I'm not entirely sure how accurate that was. The hard thing is though....that's not normal in the slightest. They're mutations, anomalies. Most people are only aware of Male is XY, Female is XX. Crazy combinations screw with peoples heads because its not even something they can vaguely relate to or comprehend. Genetically XXMales and XYFemale people are actually the opposite sex, they just appear male or female. Which of course screws with peoples heads, 50 years of subconscious pattern recognition are very difficult to break. People talk in very general terms of what is normal and familiar, matey with XXXY genes doesn't come into their heads when discussing the matter, because they likely don't even know he exists, nor is he really part of the discussion because he's so anomalous it shouldn't effect the discussion.

Obviously there are people that use it to cut down trans people, many many people. But some don't do it out of spite, they do it because it fucks with their headspace. To those people, its like trying to explain colour to a blind person. John is now Jane makes no sense to them, because from their POV, John is still visually John, only John now has a dress on. It's part of the reason the changing room debate has been going on for so long. /Especially/ when you have people who haven't physically transitioned. Jane being in the changing room with her visually male body swinging his dick about is obviously very difficult to swallow for a lot of people. And of course it is, again 50 years of subconscious pattern recognition is difficult to break.
KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime said:
As for just explaining why something is impolite? Well there a number of reasons, but it all boils down to the fact that it tends not to work. We already tried our best to explain why it's impolite, but the disagreement still continued with said person sticking to their statement, even after they admitted they don't know the scientific consensus on this. Basically saying they're going to disrespect people in spite of not knowing the medical, or scientific situation. That is really heavily biased to say the least and that doesn't make it any less insulting either.
Yeah you're right, 95% of the time, it isn't going to work. But engaging in debate, no matter how frustrating when the other person stonewalls you (truth be told I am on the opposite side of the fence to you), you will get through to one person, one day and it will be marvelous. Always stick to your guns.
KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime said:
Really though the excuse of; "they might not even know what they're doing is wrong", kind of doesn't hold water, especially when the tactic is one commonly used in racism, sexism, homophobia, and transphobia. A lot of people who are indeed racist, sexist, homophobic, or/and transphobic, will dance around the subject, especially in environments where they know open hate speech isn't tolerated. Again I'm not saying Emanuele is a bigot, just that the reasoning they're using is one used to justify bigotry.
People do use those tactics for sure, but I like to be optimistic that most people are just ignorant. Not that I'm saying you feel this way or that I'm getting those vibes from you(in fact, I may have bitten off more than I can chew here for discussion, hoo boy), but assuming everyone actively hates you just breeds paranoia and hostility. Obviously the below doesn't apply to genes specifically so much as the issue in general.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/meredithtalusan/cissexist-bullshit-translator#.ldbDWNEj2

Now, this link is....quite hyperbolic but it is genuine. It's basically the extremist version of what we're discussing but that is what I fear happens quite a bit. I have been attacked quite a bit in the past for trying to educate myself or for saying things I didnt even know were offensive. Now, it doesn't happen that much but I believe shit like this actually harms the trans cause. I mean those comics fuck me off. They genuinely make me angry at the toss pot who wrote them. Now it's possible that the author could just have been worn down by the world, but I think not, barring some areas, the western world isn't actually that hostile to transpeople. The last two especially do not help. Clearly neither of the people in those 2 strips are bigots or even vaguely offensive, but the author just decides the best way to respond to any interaction to do with trans...ism(?, word?) is to be a passive aggressive twat and assume everyone hates him. Of course if that is how he actually behaves, of course everyone hates him...because he's a passive aggressive twat, and some use that as ammunition to demonstrate that people are bigots.

Essentially this is the extreme demonstration of why I originally said your attitude was unhealthy to begin with. Obviously your post makes it abundantly clear I was in the wrong with that description but there you go.

KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime said:
elvor0 said:
Doesn't this article kind of...add to the over all problem of sensationalizing her outing? I mean I know the article doesn't really talk about her outing so much as the fact that she was forced to do so and the OP has no malicious or offensive intent what so ever, but I feel like the thread title could've been worded more along the lines of "Second Wachowski sibling forced to out herself".
Well unfortunately it would have been a lot worse if the Daily Fail Mail had been able to print it's "exclusive story" on Lilly being trans. Because said article would have been a mean spirited hit piece against Lilly. So Lilly gave the story to another publication first, thus preventing the Daily Mail tabloid to smear her. It's not fair she had to out herself this way, but the alternative is a lot worse.
Oh definitely, her outing her self was probablly the best reaction to the scenario, I'm just saying I think it would be better to headline the stuff around the outing rather than the actual outing, if you catch my drift. That way you bang on the daily mail for being dickbags as the main talking point rather than adding to the sensation-ism :D

Blimy, we're going to have fun formatting this from here on out aren't we?
 

Poetic Nova

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moose7 said:
Yeah being trans is terrifying. I only started hormones a few months ago and so far the effects have been pretty amazing. All kinds of emotional problems are going away but I've already been disowned by my dad and I'm terrified of coming out at work and losing my job. I'm not out yet so I haven't had to deal with any harassment or skip using the bathroom out of fear yet like a lot of other trans folk.
I'm sorry to hear that you've been disowned.
I've been myself, on top of family members thinking that it is "just a phase".

moose7 said:
The worst part is that all these issues are being caused because people think that whats between my legs is some how more important then whats between my ears. I have a female brain, the effects of the hormone treatment proves that. So if you must have an objective truth to tie your pronouns too then use my brain because that determines who I am far more then my body does.
Honestly, that's why my social phobia wont go away anytime soon. When not at home I pretty much block out the whole outside world by listening to music with my headphones on high volume.
 

KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime

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Jan 12, 2010
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elvor0 said:
KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime said:
I didn't call him bigoted, I tried to make that clear, not that he is a bigot.
You said "the linguistic argument is used to back up personal bigotries". That doesn't sound like you're separating the statement from the person to me, BUT if that's what you meant to do, that's cool.
Well my intention was to attack the argument, not the person making it.

elvor0 said:
I...did not. But from what I could gleam from google, XY Female Syndrome prevents you from experiencing puberty. Could you link a source for those that go undiagnosed due to no conditions? Because I assume you'd notice. I couldn't find anything myself. XX Male syndrome could certainly go unnoticed given the only symptoms are stated to be a small penis and infertility and "varying degrees of breast growth" going by wikipedia.
The thing is with XY females, we only generally find out a female who has the condition when something goes wrong, same thing with XX male syndrome. There are varying severities from what I understand an we only really learn about the more extreme case. There was a study I was shown a while back that had some large number of XY females in it, they concluded XY females actually make up a statistically significant portion of the general population. Wikipedia and a lot of other sources only have the academically relevant stats, where the genetic condition was found as a result of targeting people with the symptoms associated with the condition. They found evidence to the contrary recently, that XX males and XY females more likely than not don't show classic symptoms of lack of puberty, late puberty, infertility, deformed genitals, and so on.

elvor0 said:
The closest I've been to this issue is "Complete androgen insensitivity syndrome" from an episode of House, and I'm not entirely sure how accurate that was. The hard thing is though....that's not normal in the slightest. They're mutations, anomalies. Most people are only aware of Male is XY, Female is XX. Crazy combinations screw with peoples heads because its not even something they can vaguely relate to or comprehend. Genetically XXMales and XYFemale people are actually the opposite sex, they just appear male or female. Which of course screws with peoples heads, 50 years of subconscious pattern recognition are very difficult to break. People talk in very general terms of what is normal and familiar, matey with XXXY genes doesn't come into their heads when discussing the matter, because they likely don't even know he exists, nor is he really part of the discussion because he's so anomalous it shouldn't effect the discussion.
Well most people don't even think genetics when they think of someone as a man, woman, girl, or boy. They take only what they can visually observe of the person to determine that person's gender. That's why androgynous guys with long hair, or masculine women with short hair, might get mistaken for the wrong gender. It's the same thing with genitals in this case, in much of the world you don't get to see someone's genitals, so they don't come into the equation for determining gender for the most part either. Basically both are generally empty arguments used exclusively to invalidate trans folk, because genetics and genitals are information people generally don't have in these situations.

elvor0 said:
Obviously there are people that use it to cut down trans people, many many people. But some don't do it out of spite, they do it because it fucks with their headspace. To those people, its like trying to explain colour to a blind person. John is now Jane makes no sense to them, because from their POV, John is still visually John, only John now has a dress on. It's part of the reason the changing room debate has been going on for so long. /Especially/ when you have people who haven't physically transitioned. Jane being in the changing room with her visually male body swinging his dick about is obviously very difficult to swallow for a lot of people. And of course it is, again 50 years of subconscious pattern recognition is difficult to break.
Well the debate over facilities like restrooms, locker rooms, and etc is actually because we're clinging to Victorian ideas about gender. Specifically with women and LGBTQ+ folk fighting for general equality, straight cisgender men see that as a threat, because their traditional advantage is being eroded. It's not just men, straight, or cisgender for that matter, who cling to the old ideas, as people are always uncomfortable with change. It's also not 50 years of biasing in this manner, more like two and a half centuries, probably more. For the changing room debate in particular, we're running headlong into the wall of why gender segregated facilities are kind of an unworkable idea. It's actually more efficient to have non-gendered facilities with individual private changing, bathroom, and shower stalls.

As for your "John is now Jane" analogy... That kind of doesn't fly, when someone whose starts taking hormone replacement therapy it does change how they look. That's leaving aside surgeries the person might have to change how masculine/feminine they look, in the mean time. Still the rejection of identity is more about rejecting a person on a fundamental level for selfish reasons.

elvor0 said:
Yeah you're right, 95% of the time, it isn't going to work. But engaging in debate, no matter how frustrating when the other person stonewalls you (truth be told I am on the opposite side of the fence to you), you will get through to one person, one day and it will be marvelous. Always stick to your guns.
The major issues is that as a trans person these stances are used to personally hurt me and many other people in my circle of friends. So it should be easy to understand why I just won't have much patience with the argument at all, especially because I encounter it constantly, on a literally daily basis. A lot of people don't realize that trans folk get really fed up with people constantly questioning, then invalidating, our identities. We tend to have short fuses in this regard, because it is a constant external assault on us on a personal level.

elvor0 said:
People do use those tactics for sure, but I like to be optimistic that most people are just ignorant. Not that I'm saying you feel this way or that I'm getting those vibes from you(in fact, I may have bitten off more than I can chew here for discussion, hoo boy), but assuming everyone actively hates you just breeds paranoia and hostility. Obviously the below doesn't apply to genes specifically so much as the issue in general.
As I said above, it's a constant barrage of this kind of thing, it gets real tiring really fast. That means trans folk tend not to have a lot of patience with people once they start saying these sorts of things. It's double so when Emanuele said that you can't change your gender, which isn't something trans people do mind you, we actually transition to live as the gender we are. As gender and sex aren't the same thing and gender lives in the mind, not the junk. It's not an assumption that everyone hates us, virtually all trans folk are aware that most people couldn't give a flying fuck. It's the people who spread harmful misinformation that gets us agitated. Speaking of which groups like the FRC is using statements like Emanuele used as a method to push legislation to actively outlaw all legal rights for trans people. They're literally trying to prevent us from getting help to transition, prevent us from being legally able to change our names and gender makers, working to deny us protections in housing and employment... It's really ugly and "reasonable" sounding language like Emanuele used that's the back bone of this hate and discrimination campaign.

elvor0 said:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/meredithtalusan/cissexist-bullshit-translator#.ldbDWNEj2

Now, this link is....quite hyperbolic but it is genuine. It's basically the extremist version of what we're discussing but that is what I fear happens quite a bit. I have been attacked quite a bit in the past for trying to educate myself or for saying things I didnt even know were offensive. Now, it doesn't happen that much but I believe shit like this actually harms the trans cause. I mean those comics fuck me off. They genuinely make me angry at the toss pot who wrote them. Now it's possible that the author could just have been worn down by the world, but I think not, barring some areas, the western world isn't actually that hostile to transpeople. The last two especially do not help. Clearly neither of the people in those 2 strips are bigots or even vaguely offensive, but the author just decides the best way to respond to any interaction to do with trans...ism(?, word?) is to be a passive aggressive twat and assume everyone hates him. Of course if that is how he actually behaves, of course everyone hates him...because he's a passive aggressive twat, and some use that as ammunition to demonstrate that people are bigots.
Well I've seen the "cissexist bullshit translator" page before, and it gave me a good laugh, because it's true and that makes it funny. Mind you the whole thrust of that series of comics though is about unsolicited opinions thrown at us, along with backhanded compliments people tend to pay people they know are trans. That's what cissexism is though, it's an unintentional thing people do, because they're used to the negative tropes that surround trans people. Specifically the trope that says all trans people are; "ugly burly men who dress like women and have deep voices."

Now, believe it, or not, the developed western world likes to think of it self as progressive, accepting, and friendly towards LGBTQ+ folk; however, this isn't exactly the truth. Gay and lesbian people are far more likely to be assaulted than the general public, just because they're not straight, trans people are far more likely to victims of crimes because of anti-trans rhetoric. Considering that in most of the developed world a trans person has to have a risky and expensive surgery to just get the correct gender listed on a passport, that's not exactly friendly. Especially considering a lot of trans people are so called "non-op", opting not to get the bottom surgery for several reasons. LGBTQ+ folk don't have legal protections in most of the western world to protect us from discrimination in employment, housing, and access to services. Even when we do have those legal protections, we still get discriminated against anyways, and it's big news when someone wins a case in these scenarios, because winning a legal case against LGBTQ+ discrimination is rare as hell.

The comics you shared here aren't really intended for the vast majority of cisgender heterosexual folk, they're more of an in-joke, and source of frustration for trans people. Actual cisgender trans allies who actually listen to their trans friends would probably understand why the comics are funny. That's the thing, it's more or less poking fun at the way cisgender people tend to treat us, which is to say in an unintentionally bad way. People always say stupid things to groups they're not intimately familiar with. Like when a white person says "you're really well spoken" to a black person, or when a straight person says "I would have never thought you're gay" to a gay person. Things like that happen a lot, people generally don't mean any harm, but just voicing somethings they're actually meaning the opposite of what they say. Again all those comics were basically snark for the way cis folk tend to treat trans folk.

Finally saying things like that harm the trans community, that's not constructive, it's called tone policing, and it's a way of shutting down dissent. No movement whose objective is equality ever won ground by being excessively nice and "reasonable", all such movements have to be aggressive and in your face, they have to make people uncomfortable. If we're not making people uncomfortable with the awful ways they tend to treat us, with the ways they tend to dehumanize us as a group, then those people never, ever change.

Now... Read this comic on tone policing from Robot Hugs! It'll show you better what I'm talking about. [http://www.robot-hugs.com/tone-policing/]

A side note, the word you're looking for when referring to trans-ness as a general state is "transgenderism". Hope that clears things up for you.

elvor0 said:
Essentially this is the extreme demonstration of why I originally said your attitude was unhealthy to begin with. Obviously your post makes it abundantly clear I was in the wrong with that description but there you go.
It wouldn't seem so extreme if you were exposed to these kinds of attitudes on a daily basis, I am and I see a lot of familiar situations in those comics. Again calling our anger and frustration with constant poor treatment and dismissive attitudes "unhealthy" is classic tone policing. We're gonna come off as angry because we're being treated poorly, it's something we deal with constantly too, telling us basically to shut up, or to "calm down" doesn't help, it just comes off as dismissive.

elvor0 said:
Oh definitely, her outing her self was probablly the best reaction to the scenario, I'm just saying I think it would be better to headline the stuff around the outing rather than the actual outing, if you catch my drift. That way you bang on the daily mail for being dickbags as the main talking point rather than adding to the sensation-ism :D
Well one thing is, Lilly coming out as trans was big news to the trans community, because we don't have all that many famous and successful role models to look up to. I mean it's sad that a trans person's coming out, especially when the one who's a celebrity, is still sensational news, but that's partially because of our typical experience of exclusion. Still slapping down the Daily Fail as a shit-rag tabloid run by giant douches was a main thrust of my whole point, but that doesn't detract from the importance of Lilly coming out either.

elvor0 said:
Blimy, we're going to have fun formatting this from here on out aren't we?
Hah! Says you, I am the the forum quote code sorceress! ... Not really, but it's pretty easy to figure out, I can even quote people I have on my ignore list because I learned how the system works. I still bugger it up on a regular basis though.
 

Cati

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*checks date* when did all this take place? Because I'm sure I saw mention of "The Wachowski Sisters" some time ago, like last month at least oO

Regardless, fuck the daily mail, and any other publication that makes public things about people that the rest of the world doesn't need to know, especially against their wishes.
 

Silvanus

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elvor0 said:
Obviously there are people that use it to cut down trans people, many many people. But some don't do it out of spite, they do it because it fucks with their headspace. To those people, its like trying to explain colour to a blind person. John is now Jane makes no sense to them, because from their POV, John is still visually John, only John now has a dress on. It's part of the reason the changing room debate has been going on for so long. /Especially/ when you have people who haven't physically transitioned. Jane being in the changing room with her visually male body swinging his dick about is obviously very difficult to swallow for a lot of people. And of course it is, again 50 years of subconscious pattern recognition is difficult to break.
If ignorance was followed by a willingness to learn, I would agree wholeheartedly. Usually, though, it's followed by the opposite; dismissiveness or rejection.

Those aren't the reactions of someone who just honestly lacks the information. Those are the reactions of someone unwilling to take information into account.
 

KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime

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Richard Gozin-Yu said:
Sorry, I should have been a little more clear, you don't actually beat people TO DEATH. In fact, the nice thing about using a stick as a weapon is that you can afford to be a lot more selective about how you defend yourself, and keep some separation. As I'm sure that you know, tossing someone headfirst into the pavement works wonders, but you're probably lucky that he wasn't talking out of one side of his mouth for the rest of his life, or dead. As you say, legal entanglements are to be avoided.

I'm glad that you made it out though, and I hope the guy who tried to hurt you still has headaches.
Eh that's generally what I consider people are saying when they say "beat the life out of someone". Anyways, I didn't slam him into the ground hard enough to do any permanent damage, just enough to leave him moaning on the ground long enough for police and paramedics arrived. I was lucky I had a few witnesses too, because had I not, I probably would have been arrested for assault, probably convicted too, in spite my dozens of reports of the guy stalking me. Last I heard he got a pretty stiff prison sentence for something else though.

Cadi said:
*checks date* when did all this take place? Because I'm sure I saw mention of "The Wachowski Sisters" some time ago, like last month at least oO

Regardless, fuck the daily mail, and any other publication that makes public things about people that the rest of the world doesn't need to know, especially against their wishes.
There were two cisgender Wachowski sisters, the other two, who used to be known as "The Wachowski Brothers" are the ones who have now both come out as trans women. So in total there are now 4 Wachowski sisters.

Also it's tabloid "journalism", they make all their money by spreading lies and personal secrets of people in the public eye.
 

Cati

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KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime said:
There were two cisgender Wachowski sisters, the other two, who used to be known as "The Wachowski Brothers" are the ones who have now both come out as trans women. So in total there are now 4 Wachowski sisters.

Also it's tabloid "journalism", they make all their money by spreading lies and personal secrets of people in the public eye.
This was definitely in relation to the two trans Wachowski sisters. Sometimes, I get memories from the future :|

And you don't have to tell me that :) I think pretty much all of the "news" media is trash with no scruples. That's why they don't get my money and clicks - hit 'em in their pockets and don't reward their awful practices with custom.
 

Dango

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You know the only thing I really don't like about trans individuals?

They get to choose their names, I feel like that's cheating.
 

CrystalShadow

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Fappy said:
What are the odds of them both being trans? I assume genetics is a factor here but to be honest, I don't know a damn thing about the underlying causes of trans-sexuality.
Who can say?

I've seen this first-hand though, and while two trans people from the same family seems improbable, it does happen.
Though the one case I know of is even more unlikely because they are step-siblings, so you can't make an argument about genetics about them.

It's bizarre statistically, but it happens.
Does make you wonder...
 

CrystalShadow

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Dango said:
You know the only thing I really don't like about trans individuals?

They get to choose their names, I feel like that's cheating.
Well, you know....
Strictly speaking, unless you live in a country that is a bit of a dick about such things, anyone can change their name...

Hell, if you are in the UK specifically, you can change your name on a whim, even to something completely stupid, and it is legally valid.

Also, you could change your name 5 times a year there without too much hassle.

Names are a lot less permanent than you might think really... XD
 

Poetic Nova

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CrystalShadow said:
Dango said:
You know the only thing I really don't like about trans individuals?

They get to choose their names, I feel like that's cheating.
Well, you know....
Strictly speaking, unless you live in a country that is a bit of a dick about such things, anyone can change their name...

Hell, if you are in the UK specifically, you can change your name on a whim, even to something completely stupid, and it is legally valid.

Also, you could change your name 5 times a year there without too much hassle.


Names are a lot less permanent than you might think really... XD
Diffirent in The Netherlands however, you can only change your name twice, and your family name once. And it can be quite costly aswell. Will be fun when I can apply for the name change in a few months.