Just wondered how many people are starting uni soon-and whether they're soiling themselves to the same level I am.
Warning! Kinda pathetic sounding wall o' text ahead! Go ahead and post without reading this if you want!
Warning! Kinda pathetic sounding wall o' text ahead! Go ahead and post without reading this if you want!
I'm going to Plymouth uni to study media arts (posh way of saying film production). I know, my chances are slim. I know, qualifications are not the prime concern for film employment. This isn't about my future employers/rejectors. I simply feel I am not half the film-maker I should (and in many ways, need to) be. I'm not even half the person yet. If I get a shot, if my slim chances become fulfilled, I want to make sure I ain't gonna blow it, or worse-I could get lucky and have a successful career making crappy films like micheal bay or uwe bolls, and never even realise or acknowledge that they're bad. I love film, i'd rather never have a film career than become like them. Of course...it's easier to say than to do.
Anyway, I am terrified. Not of the course; I'm looking forward to that. This will be my first time living away from my parents. They've promised to support me where-ever they can, if i need it, but it isn't about being scared of having no safety net, I'm terrified of disappointing them and myself. Of finally confirming a hundred doctor's and disability workers' accusations that I will not function well in society. I have aspergers syndrome, and tons of people have tried to tell me it makes me useless. Bullies and teachers, from people who said I wouldn't handle certain courses to people saying I should get a job in data entry. It can make things hard, but I am determined to prove it doesn't make things impossible.
I'm sad to leave home as well. I don't spend alot of time with my parents...but that doesn't mean I won't miss them. I'll miss the house as well. I only started going out alot a few weeks back, and heck, now I'll miss the town too. I'm ashamed to say, as someone who likes to keep his emotions hidden, I've already held back tears a good few times today and the last couple of days while packing. I said goodbye to one of my best friends on xbox live (one of the best friends I ever had) yesterday, unsure whether i'll ever speak to him again. Xbox live at uni looks like it'll be accessable, but i'm not 100% on that, so I've said my goodbyes where possible. I hope I have the strength to keep it together tomorrow when I move.
Anyway, I am terrified. Not of the course; I'm looking forward to that. This will be my first time living away from my parents. They've promised to support me where-ever they can, if i need it, but it isn't about being scared of having no safety net, I'm terrified of disappointing them and myself. Of finally confirming a hundred doctor's and disability workers' accusations that I will not function well in society. I have aspergers syndrome, and tons of people have tried to tell me it makes me useless. Bullies and teachers, from people who said I wouldn't handle certain courses to people saying I should get a job in data entry. It can make things hard, but I am determined to prove it doesn't make things impossible.
I'm sad to leave home as well. I don't spend alot of time with my parents...but that doesn't mean I won't miss them. I'll miss the house as well. I only started going out alot a few weeks back, and heck, now I'll miss the town too. I'm ashamed to say, as someone who likes to keep his emotions hidden, I've already held back tears a good few times today and the last couple of days while packing. I said goodbye to one of my best friends on xbox live (one of the best friends I ever had) yesterday, unsure whether i'll ever speak to him again. Xbox live at uni looks like it'll be accessable, but i'm not 100% on that, so I've said my goodbyes where possible. I hope I have the strength to keep it together tomorrow when I move.