Unnecessary Instructions

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Dogstile

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Jan 17, 2009
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Crabturtleking said:
I've always thought the "slippery when wet" signs were a bit redundant.
a "caution: slippery when wet" sign was placed under a "ladies" sign on the toilet door

i loled :p
 

messy

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Dec 3, 2008
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Skarin said:
Not so much an instruction but a silly road sign:

INSERT IMAGE SHOWING SINE TO KELVEDON HATCH NUCLEAR BUNKER

Yup!. There clearly is NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT PICTURE!

Even though it's no longer a bunker and just open to the public as a tourist attraction.

OT; Any food item that ends with the last instruction being "Enjoy" I'm always curious if I don't read that will I not enjoy it as much or not at all
 

shwnbob

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May 16, 2009
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I think I heard of one where their are instructions on the bottom of a cup and I think the first rule is
1.Do not read while cup is full
 

timmytom1

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Feb 26, 2009
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RAWKSTAR said:
timmytom1 said:
RAWKSTAR said:
I love buying milk from Tesco that just says 'May contain milk' on the side.
It fucking better contain milk.
You never know ,the milk could judt be painted on the inside of the container and when you open it a lion eats you
If I was about to pour some milk into my Tea and a Lion ate me... Well that would ruin my day!
*Shows RAWKSTAR stump where arm used to be* how do you think i feel? all i wanted was a bowl of crunchy nut...
 

lazy_bum

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Mar 25, 2009
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Favourite ones that i have seen.

On a packet of vacuum sealed fish: allergy advice; 'contains fish'

Dairy milk bar: 'contains milk.' really??? swear it says on the front 'contains a glass and a half of milk'.

carton of milk: 'not suitable for lactose intolerant people'. Lactose intolerant mate loved that one.
 

XJ-0461

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Mar 9, 2009
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Not really instructions, but some warning labels are pretty stupid. Like on a jar of peanut butter:

"Caution, may contain nuts"
 

Skuffyshootster

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Jan 13, 2009
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Random Jah-Love said:
Children's Tylenol with a warning that says "DO NOT OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY"
That's not that odd. What if they work in a sweatshop and get a headache for whatever reason?
 

L4hlborg

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Jul 11, 2009
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In Finnish busses there is a sign saying "Watch the stair". The problem is, that my head hits the sign because I'm so tall.
 

Sigel

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Jul 6, 2009
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xmetatr0nx said:
In the comi-con info pack etiquette section "Please change your clothes and shower regularly"...no im not joking.
No, no, that was definitely put in there for a reason, and no one else seems to actually read it. I have done the three day camp at cons, and it is not pretty. I rented a motel close by though so I could shower, sleep, and change. Other people, not so much.
 

Aznleeman

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May 23, 2009
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I've bought something in China that had some pretty hilarious Engrish instructions on the backside of a juice box. It went something like this as I recall:
"Do not use for any purpose other than drink. This is useless against fire and other thing except for drink. Only drink."
Which was kinda stupid because in comparison the Chinese side translated to something like:
"Use for drinking purposes only."
 

Otterwuff

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Jul 27, 2009
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From a very nice set of books that I have (though reciting from memory):

Do not stick into any bodily orifice; ~hair curler.

Warning: hot contents; ~hot chocolate.

Warning: contents are cold; ~ice cream.

Object moves when used; ~folding scooter.

Do not use orally after used rectally; ~thermometre.

There are a few more that are just bloody brill, but I can't remember them. >:
 

Ren3004

In an unsuspicious cabin
Jul 22, 2009
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The "do not insert into penis" is my favorite.

My contribution: the car instructions that say "objects in the mirror are actually behind you"
 

HentMas

The Loneliest Jedi
Apr 17, 2009
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Agayek said:
"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
What?? are they going to mutate or something!?? like the Kremlins (or were they gremlins?)

well, i´m not a military man so if anyone knows please do tell, in a Rocket launcher does it says "point this end at the enemy"? i saw a sign in one
 

Agayek

Ravenous Gormandizer
Oct 23, 2008
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HentMas said:
What?? are they going to mutate or something!?? like the Kremlins (or were they gremlins?)

well, i´m not a military man so if anyone knows please do tell, in a Rocket launcher does it says "point this end at the enemy"? i saw a sign in one
Depending on the Rocket Launcher, that may actually be necessary though. I know the older ones were basically a tube with a handle, so unless there was something actually on the tube to point out which ends is which, you'd lose valuable time turning it around when you reach into the trigger area, if you weren't dumb enough to fire it before you realized it.
 

la-le-lu-li-lo

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Jun 1, 2009
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You realize these things are in place because people are that dumb, and therefore the companies are protecting themselves from legal actions.

Buuuut my faves are the ones that are misspelled or don't make any sense.
 

LeonLethality

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Mar 10, 2009
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these are gold from a googled site or two

On the bottle-top of a flavoured milk drink in Britain
After opening, keep upright

In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles
Open other end.

On Nightly sleep aid
Warning: May cause drowsiness.

straw instructions
1. Insert one end of straw into body of liquid to be ingested.
2. Insert unsubmerged end of straw into mouth; close mouth.
3. Inhale through mouth, not nose.
4. Swallow and remove straw from mouth before exhaling.