Unnecessary Instructions

[Seekster]

I heard about one on a box of Christmas Lights:

"For inside or outside use only."

 

[Zenode]

Spoiler

Just for starters

along with that i saw

Moutain Bike: Not for offroad use
Scissors: WARNING may cut
Korean Knife: Please Keep Out of Children

 

[Jirlond]

This is slightly Off topic as it is a mistake and not instructions but I still find it funny.

This is why you dont use online dictionaries to name your restaurant.

 

[DrDeath3191]

"Do not eat watch"

Really? Are people that dumb? Or are their watches that delicious?

 

[Rassan]

When I bought a knife "Do not point towards others vitals"

 

[experiment0789]

Every once in awhile
I couldn't help to laugh at it for several minutes, knowing that somewhere a person either needs this instructions, and that several people in marketing believed that people needed it this much.

So, what are some of the bizarre instructions and warning labels that you have come across in your daily life?

Some of these "bizarre instructions and warning labels" are there to cover the corporations Behinds so they don't have to pay a big law suit. If you recall the McDonald's Coffee Lawsuit...
http://www.vanfirm.com/mcdonalds-coffee-lawsuit.htm

"After dutifully slipping a thermometer into steaming cups and mugs all over the city, Danny Jarrett found that none came closer than about 20 degrees to the temperature at which McDonald's coffee is poured, about 180 degrees. awarded $2.9 million to an 81-year-old woman scalded by McDonald's coffee"

with that in mind I don't understand why some exist,it protects agents potently dangerous,not there because you are a complete moron.
Labels like "Lift Flap and Tear at End","Please change your clothes and shower regularly",and "Use the left thumb stick to move" are just unneeded to anybody.

 

[the_unseen]

http://www.boingboing.net/2006/01/03/bizarre-selfreferent.html

This. It's a bizarre self-referential sign. It's not exactly instructions, but I feel like it applies.

EDIT: Also, on some chainsaws it reads: Do not stop chain with hands or genitals. I can't find the pic, so you'll have to trust me.

The sign makes perfect sense, it's there to remove idiots from the gene pool, it distracts the viewer and often causes them to think, making them prone to be struck by the very warning they were contemplating. By repeated hits, the idiotic viewer may get a serious concussion or other serious injury with the possibility of death!

PS: I know that was long and complicated for a joke but still, it makes sense!
PPS: shut up I know my PS has the same end as the beginning of my explanation, and no I'm not going in circles.

 

[X123Lewis123X]

thismorning i was at the market and the door said "PULL TO OPEN" and there was a flat peice of metal for pushing on, had to pull the gaps

 

[ohgodalex]

Has this been posted? I've only looked at a few pages of this thread, so I'm not sure.
If not, try to understand the logic behind this one.

 

[Crabturtleking]

Spoiler

I was wondering why I only got one shoe.

 

[manaman]

Microsoft's EULA says you cannot use the program to harm children.

Microsoft and Apple say you cannot use the program to manufacture or aid in the manufacture of nuclear weapons.

I am betting if you want to do either of those things a warning in a usually unread document is not going to stop you.

 

[Biek]

This reminds me of something slightly different:

In the supermarket, all the cartons of milk have "fresh milk" labeled on them. But what if I buy one and leave it out in the sun for 2 weeks? The milk will be spoilt, but the carton still says "fresh milk". Isn't that misleading?

 

[Captain Lag]

Back when I was studying for my drving test, there was a sample test in the booklet and one of the questions featured a picture of a sign that said "DO NOT ENTER" and then a question followed asking what the sign meant.

 

[Ranthus]

You realize these things are in place because people are that dumb, and therefore the companies are protecting themselves from legal actions.

Buuuut my faves are the ones that are misspelled or don't make any sense.

Sadly, the first sentence is true.
I did find a very funny one on engrishfunny.com !
It simply said "Fart Kontrol" on the side of the road. I know what they meant.

And I hate video games where you are forced to complete a jumping puzzle after someone's done talking in the beginning or something. Right after they finish talking, they give you an explanation on how to jump and tips on how to jump higher. By the time they've finished, you've probably just gone and finished already because jump is almost always A, X(PS3), Y(see TES and FO3), or SPACEBAR, and you could probably tell what they were saying because you enabled subtitles. Also instruction manuals are pointless. There are almost always tutorials in the game, or a control list.

 

[Gadzooks]

I always tell people at my work not to cut their fingers off in the slicing machine, yet somehow, they always do.

Some things seem unneccessary, but people are stupid, stupid things who feel the need to hurt themselves.

 

[RRilef]

iTunes EULA: You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of nuclear, missiles, or chemical or biological weapons.

 

[rickthetrick]

I opened a cup of yoplait. On the inside of the lid It reads please try again. I thought that maybe I had opened the yogurt wrong, or maybe yoplait was trying to inspire me. Don't give up mitch, please try again. Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top. -Mitch Hedberg

 

[CarpeNoctem[44]]

lmao, at the work site, a package of chain link i seen.

bright orange warning label:

CAUTION
Avoid Injury or Damage.

orly?