Unrealistic Conflicts

[kikon9]

I'm wondering, I just heard about how in the Harry Potter series, the evil wizards begin attacking the muggles. Fundamentally this seems like a bad idea, given that going to open war with a group that has spent the last century building a stockpile of weapons that could sterilize every continent ten times over with wands that take several seconds to cast something that will kill 1 human. After thinking on this, I figured to make this thread. So my question is this:

Has there ever been a conflict in fiction that was one sided in a way that didn't make sense?

 

[Ironic Pirate]

Well a fire spell at a gas station would kill some serious shit, but that's not really the point.

Anyway, Avatar. A few hours after the climactic battle the planet would have been orbitally bombarded into a pile of goop ripe for the mining. "Bad" guys take minor losses, Na'vi are extinct.

 

[andreas3K]

Humans vs. Zombies.

They're slow and we have guns. They don't have the slightest chance of winning.
Even mosquitos are more dangerous than zombies.

 

[kikon9]

Well a fire spell at a gas station would kill some serious shit, but that's not really the point.

Anyway, Avatar. A few hours after the climactic battle the planet would have been orbitally bombarded into a pile of goop ripe for the mining. "Bad" guys take minor losses, Na'vi are extinct.

I daresay a tactical nuclear strike beats a few burning gas stations.

 

[supagama]

Humans vs. Zombies.

They're slow and we have guns. They don't have the slightest chance of winning.
Even mosquitos are more dangerous than zombies.

if mosquitos turned us into other mosquitos, that is. anyway, im not starting this argument. Human vs Covenenent: they have shields, plasma, and FRIEKIN PLANET DESTROYIN LAZER BEAMS

 

[Sn1P3r M98]

Well a fire spell at a gas station would kill some serious shit, but that's not really the point.

Anyway, Avatar. A few hours after the climactic battle the planet would have been orbitally bombarded into a pile of goop ripe for the mining. "Bad" guys take minor losses, Na'vi are extinct.

If that was the extra five minutes they'd added instead of whatever that bullshit they tried to toss in so they could re-release the movie was, I'd go see it.

OT: I second Avatar.

 

[The Procrastinated End]

Yeah pretty much Avatar and Zombies take the prize. They can over it amongst themselves.

 

[Worgen]

Well a fire spell at a gas station would kill some serious shit, but that's not really the point.

Anyway, Avatar. A few hours after the climactic battle the planet would have been orbitally bombarded into a pile of goop ripe for the mining. "Bad" guys take minor losses, Na'vi are extinct.

ehh, it didnt look like the humans exactly had a space battleship, although why they just didnt take the shuttle up to a higher altitude and drop the explosives on the sacred grove or whatever, Ill never know

 

[Naheal]

Well a fire spell at a gas station would kill some serious shit, but that's not really the point.

Anyway, Avatar. A few hours after the climactic battle the planet would have been orbitally bombarded into a pile of goop ripe for the mining. "Bad" guys take minor losses, Na'vi are extinct.

I daresay a tactical nuclear strike beats a few burning gas stations.

Any "sufficiently advanced tech vs sufficiently analyzed magic" war would be fairly even.

 

[GundamSentinel]

Well a fire spell at a gas station would kill some serious shit, but that's not really the point.

Anyway, Avatar. A few hours after the climactic battle the planet would have been orbitally bombarded into a pile of goop ripe for the mining. "Bad" guys take minor losses, Na'vi are extinct.

I daresay a tactical nuclear strike beats a few burning gas stations.

Now I want to see someone nuking Hogwarts... That would be epic.

Humans vs. Zombies.

They're slow and we have guns. They don't have the slightest chance of winning.
Even mosquitos are more dangerous than zombies.

Right you are. I have to quote Cracked again:

If we look at zombies as a species, they are pretty much designed for failure. Their main form of reproduction is also their only source of food and their top predator. If they want to eat or reproduce, they have to go toe to toe with their number one predator every single time. That's like having to fight a lion every time you to want to have sex or make a sandwich. Actually, it's worse than that: Most top predators are only armed with teeth and claws, meaning they have to put themselves in harm's way to score a kill. Humans have rifles.

 

[TerribleAssassin]

Does America vs Russia count?

Also, the Humans vs Na'vi, we have Nuclear weaponary, they have ponytails.

 

[Steel_crab]

Gotta be the humans vs. robots in the Matrix.

If the robots are intelligent enough to build hundreds of independently thinking robot squid things, why the hell don't they just drop a few bunker busters down the effing great hole they make in the roof of Zion?

All the human forces are basically crowded round the big hole gawking, so it wouldn't be that difficult.

 

[Steve B]

This is something that bugs the shit out of me. In everything, because it happens in everything.

To boil this idea down to the basics, it's plot convenience. Why don't the Covenant just glass every single planet with humans on it? Why don't (good) wizards just use the (immobilization) killing spell and be done with it? Why doesn't Jon from Garfield just kill himself? Well... because.

That'd be boring.

I tried to find the specific TVTropes article for it, but it's impossible to find the one thing you are looking for on that site, so... well, nevermind that point, I guess.

There was a scene in Castlevania: Lords of Shadow (don't worry, not a spoiler), where you are fighting crazy wolf things while racing through a forest. During this section, you are riding on top of a... horse (I don't remember), and attacking these wolves, traveling at like 70 miles an hour. To kill one, you have to JUMP OFF OF YOUR HORSE AT 70 MILES AN HOUR, on to one of them. Then you have to kill it, causing it to --obviously-- fall over dead. Then, within a split second, you jump off of a no longer moving carcass, back on to your speeding stallion, and keep riding.

All with out missing a beat, all with scary instantaneous reflexes.

But then.

The section ends, you kill all the wolves, and a little cinematic starts playing. You, on your horse, running down the very wide forest path. You look around, to see what's up with the wolves. They say "not much", you say "okay, cool", and you face ahead. You gasp, see a tree branch straight in your path (at just the right height to hit your body and not your horses, causing you to be knocked off of it). You see it coming.

You see it coming, and then you see it coming.

And with lightning quick reaction time,

You get smashed in the face.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

Almost any slasher movie. The stupidity of the main cast is just incredibly unrealistic. At the very least, you'd think they'd realize something was up and huddle up close to protect themselves from any murderer that went after them. And even if he showed his face, without a gun how would he fend off the ensemble of usually between 4 and 8 individuals? He'd kill two at the most before being overwhelmed.

Also agreed with Avatar.

 

[Kuroneko97]

In The Series Of Unfortunate Events. There's a smart, evil, cunning villain with several allies, trying to steal the fortune of three kids. All the kids have to help themselves is their unusual talents that are A) the eldest is a great inventor B) the middle child is a great researcher and C) the baby somehow has sharp teeth.

 

[Blue_vision]

Well a fire spell at a gas station would kill some serious shit, but that's not really the point.

Anyway, Avatar. A few hours after the climactic battle the planet would have been orbitally bombarded into a pile of goop ripe for the mining. "Bad" guys take minor losses, Na'vi are extinct.

It'd take years to acquire the resources to get this after the Na'vi started a full on offensive. Before that, the humans were only being defensive, because obliterating an entire planet worth of life doesn't exactly net you the greatest public image.

 

[L4hlborg]

I just watched the first episode of Supernatural season 4, so spoilers ahead.

Demons are apparently strong in the series. Then this angel dude arrives and just burns there's eyes out by his presence. I'm kinda missing the point of the problem with demons if the angel can kill everything by just being in the same room.

 

[kikon9]

Well a fire spell at a gas station would kill some serious shit, but that's not really the point.

Anyway, Avatar. A few hours after the climactic battle the planet would have been orbitally bombarded into a pile of goop ripe for the mining. "Bad" guys take minor losses, Na'vi are extinct.

I daresay a tactical nuclear strike beats a few burning gas stations.

Any "sufficiently advanced tech vs sufficiently analyzed magic" war would be fairly even.

Yes, but there are more normal humans than there are wizards.

 

[emeraldrafael]

I'm wondering, I just heard about how in the Harry Potter series, the evil wizards begin attacking the muggles. Fundamentally this seems like a bad idea, given that going to open war with a group that has spent the last century building a stockpile of weapons that could sterilize every continent ten times over with wands that take several seconds to cast something that will kill 1 human. After thinking on this, I figured to make this thread. So my question is this:

Has there ever been a conflict in fiction that was one sided in a way that didn't make sense?

Yeah... but magic is like really, as in if you have, modern conventional weapons do about as much as cotton balls.

BUt that brings up my point. Why (in any media: games, movies, books, etc.) do holy beings in a war with other holying beings (angels and demons fighting lets say), do each side die? I mean... you figure the side with god could just have him walk out and say fuck you i'm god while giving the holy middle finger and blasting everyone he doesnt like straight into nothingness. Besides that... if your a demon you're going straight back to hell for re-enlistment and the same for angels and going ot heaven. it seems like a never ending game of tag between two people who stand beside each other and say tag then tap the person and wait for the next to tag them.