Unrealistic Conflicts

[Megalodon]

Not exactly one-sided, but definetely nonsenseical the 2nd and 3rd Pirates of the Carribean movies. Why is the EAST India Company in the WEST Indies, and why can they give orders to the Royal Navy?

Also Harry Potter, I officially checked out of that series when in the fifth book, they not only didn't aquire guns from the Spiv Mundungus, who should have been able to get hold of some (better than wands). But also when the highly feared army of the dark lord couldn't take down half a dozen sixteen year olds.

 

[New York Patrick]

I'm wondering, I just heard about how in the Harry Potter series, the evil wizards begin attacking the muggles. Fundamentally this seems like a bad idea, given that going to open war with a group that has spent the last century building a stockpile of weapons that could sterilize every continent ten times over with wands that take several seconds to cast something that will kill 1 human. After thinking on this, I figured to make this thread. So my question is this:

Has there ever been a conflict in fiction that was one sided in a way that didn't make sense?

Wait... how did you JUST here about this...

And I was always disappointed that Harry Potter didn't end with the aformentioned evil wizards having a more OPEN war with muggles. It would have all been fun and games, until the Japanese Wizards attack the US...

 

[Steve B]

It would have all been fun and games, until the Japanese Wizards attack the US...

Awww.... this guy...

 

[Megalodon]

Well a fire spell at a gas station would kill some serious shit, but that's not really the point.

Anyway, Avatar. A few hours after the climactic battle the planet would have been orbitally bombarded into a pile of goop ripe for the mining. "Bad" guys take minor losses, Na'vi are extinct.

It'd take years to acquire the resources to get this after the Na'vi started a full on offensive. Before that, the humans were only being defensive, because obliterating an entire planet worth of life doesn't exactly net you the greatest public image.

Hell, the entire plan at the end of Avatar was stupid, the human should have just built trenches and minefields, waited for the Navi to attack, then got WW1 on them, with gunships. The numbers of Navi that are quoted in the film are not enough to take down a prepared defence with automatic weaponry.

 

[TheMightyWarHamster]

I'm wondering, I just heard about how in the Harry Potter series, the evil wizards begin attacking the muggles. Fundamentally this seems like a bad idea, given that going to open war with a group that has spent the last century building a stockpile of weapons that could sterilize every continent ten times over with wands that take several seconds to cast something that will kill 1 human. After thinking on this, I figured to make this thread. So my question is this:

Has there ever been a conflict in fiction that was one sided in a way that didn't make sense?

first of all: you didn't get it. as little as i liked the final HP installments, the bad guys aren't going to war. there is no wizard army or anything. they are terrorrists. remember how good nukes are at keeping the real life ones scared and at bay?
apart from the fact, that no government on our planet would nuke their own territorry, IT'S FREAKING MAGIC! that renders all "lolgunz!!1!" arguments invalid. that's the point of magic, yknow

@topic
avatar, for me too. the navi fought off a bunch of rent-a-cops so the douchey exec goes whining off to earth. the answer wouldn't even have to be a ship built for war. they just have to look for the blue guys from orbit and chuck rocks at them. end of story, look forward to avatar 2: day of reckoning.^^

 

[emeraldrafael]

In The Series Of Unfortunate Events. There's a smart, evil, cunning villain with several allies, trying to steal the fortune of three kids. All the kids have to help themselves is their unusual talents that are A) the eldest is a great inventor B) the middle child is a great researcher and C) the baby somehow has sharp teeth.

Well, ot be fair, nothing really got done in that series if you read the whole thing. They basically wind up with everyone they know and loved dead or missing taking care of some woman's newborn while they set her out to see on top of the raft tehy wanted to use themselves because she could take living any more. They should have just left her on the island and sailed away, or at least put her out of he rmisery instead of sending her to rot in the elements.

Then again that series masquerades as a "serious" children's series and I'm pretty sure that stuff wouldnt fly in the parental groups.

 

[HK_01]

Russia vs USA. Happens so much in fiction, yet it's so unrealistic.

The conflict in Avatar, but for different reasons. I don't think the humans would nuke the planet, since that gives them a shitty image and a private corporation shouldn't have nukes, but it just seems like such a stupid war in the first place. Honestly, what's so bad about just letting the humans mine? They destroy a couple of square kilometres of vegetation - so? They'll finish at that spot and move to another place with lots of expensive minerals. By the time they're done at that second place, the first one will have recovered, and it'd just go on like that. Not really too bad, is it? And it's not like humans would want to colonise the planet since the air is toxic to them.

Not to mention that the Na'vi will eventually industrialise and destroy their planet's nature themselves.

Zombies, as has been mentioned before. The army would obliterate them in no time.

 

[Naheal]

Well a fire spell at a gas station would kill some serious shit, but that's not really the point.

Anyway, Avatar. A few hours after the climactic battle the planet would have been orbitally bombarded into a pile of goop ripe for the mining. "Bad" guys take minor losses, Na'vi are extinct.

I daresay a tactical nuclear strike beats a few burning gas stations.

Any "sufficiently advanced tech vs sufficiently analyzed magic" war would be fairly even.

Yes, but there are more normal humans than there are wizards.

However, muggles aren't to the point where they have such sufficiently advanced tech yet. That said, from what we can gather from their points of view, few wizards actually understand muggles, so it would end up being a strategic game.

 

[kikon9]

I'm wondering, I just heard about how in the Harry Potter series, the evil wizards begin attacking the muggles. Fundamentally this seems like a bad idea, given that going to open war with a group that has spent the last century building a stockpile of weapons that could sterilize every continent ten times over with wands that take several seconds to cast something that will kill 1 human. After thinking on this, I figured to make this thread. So my question is this:

Has there ever been a conflict in fiction that was one sided in a way that didn't make sense?

Yeah... but magic is like really, as in if you have, modern conventional weapons do about as much as cotton balls.

BUt that brings up my point. Why (in any media: games, movies, books, etc.) do holy beings in a war with other holying beings (angels and demons fighting lets say), do each side die? I mean... you figure the side with god could just have him walk out and say fuck you i'm god while giving the holy middle finger and blasting everyone he doesnt like straight into nothingness. Besides that... if your a demon you're going straight back to hell for re-enlistment and the same for angels and going ot heaven. it seems like a never ending game of tag between two people who stand beside each other and say tag then tap the person and wait for the next to tag them.

Again, tactical nuclear strike, and the fact that guns take half a second to go off, as opposed to spells which must be cast verbally.

As for the angels verses demons thing, I think it's because of god's whole "I don't meddle with free will" thing. Of course, I'm an atheist, you should probably ask a religious person about it.

 

[kikon9]

Well a fire spell at a gas station would kill some serious shit, but that's not really the point.

Anyway, Avatar. A few hours after the climactic battle the planet would have been orbitally bombarded into a pile of goop ripe for the mining. "Bad" guys take minor losses, Na'vi are extinct.

I daresay a tactical nuclear strike beats a few burning gas stations.

Any "sufficiently advanced tech vs sufficiently analyzed magic" war would be fairly even.

Yes, but there are more normal humans than there are wizards.

However, muggles aren't to the point where they have such sufficiently advanced tech yet. That said, from what we can gather from their points of view, few wizards actually understand muggles, so it would end up being a strategic game.

Ok, given that I don't know the time that Harry Potter takes place in the following statement may be invalid:
A kaiser bomb is DEFINITELY advanced enough.

 

[Megalodon]

Well a fire spell at a gas station would kill some serious shit, but that's not really the point.

Anyway, Avatar. A few hours after the climactic battle the planet would have been orbitally bombarded into a pile of goop ripe for the mining. "Bad" guys take minor losses, Na'vi are extinct.

I daresay a tactical nuclear strike beats a few burning gas stations.

Any "sufficiently advanced tech vs sufficiently analyzed magic" war would be fairly even.

Yes, but there are more normal humans than there are wizards.

However, muggles aren't to the point where they have such sufficiently advanced tech yet. That said, from what we can gather from their points of view, few wizards actually understand muggles, so it would end up being a strategic game.

Actually I'd say that Harry Potter magic isn't good enough to go toe to toe with modern tech, especially how it's used in the books. Here's the thing, reading the books, seems like to do anything with magic requires words, but bullets are a lot faster than words.

 

[kikon9]

I'm wondering, I just heard about how in the Harry Potter series, the evil wizards begin attacking the muggles. Fundamentally this seems like a bad idea, given that going to open war with a group that has spent the last century building a stockpile of weapons that could sterilize every continent ten times over with wands that take several seconds to cast something that will kill 1 human. After thinking on this, I figured to make this thread. So my question is this:

Has there ever been a conflict in fiction that was one sided in a way that didn't make sense?

Wait... how did you JUST here about this...

And I was always disappointed that Harry Potter didn't end with the aformentioned evil wizards having a more OPEN war with muggles. It would have all been fun and games, until the Japanese Wizards attack the US...

I only just heard about it because I only just saw movie bob's review of Harry Potter and the *cannot remember movie name* earlier today. And I'm not a Harry potter fan myself so this is the first I heard of it.

 

[BaldursBananaSoap]

Modern Warfare 2. The whole plot is a poorly told piece of shit but what took the cake was Russia managing to fly thousands of troops over to America and invade without being noticed just because one of the airport killers was American. What about the guys who escaped? You know, the guy who looks exactly like that wanted Russian killer? Maybe they should check CCTV.

Also, why the fuck did Shepard let the whole of the US get invaded and destroyed just to look like a hero? Nobody would fucking do that.

 

[HK_01]

Well a fire spell at a gas station would kill some serious shit, but that's not really the point.

Anyway, Avatar. A few hours after the climactic battle the planet would have been orbitally bombarded into a pile of goop ripe for the mining. "Bad" guys take minor losses, Na'vi are extinct.

I daresay a tactical nuclear strike beats a few burning gas stations.

Any "sufficiently advanced tech vs sufficiently analyzed magic" war would be fairly even.

Yes, but there are more normal humans than there are wizards.

However, muggles aren't to the point where they have such sufficiently advanced tech yet. That said, from what we can gather from their points of view, few wizards actually understand muggles, so it would end up being a strategic game.

Actually I'd say that Harry Potter magic isn't good enough to go toe to toe with modern tech, especially how it's used in the books. Here's the thing, reading the books, seems like to do anything with magic requires words, but bullets are a lot faster than words.

Not to mention that a machinegun fires bullets at something like 1000 rounds per minute. I'd like to see a wizard match that with spells.

 

[emeraldrafael]

I'm wondering, I just heard about how in the Harry Potter series, the evil wizards begin attacking the muggles. Fundamentally this seems like a bad idea, given that going to open war with a group that has spent the last century building a stockpile of weapons that could sterilize every continent ten times over with wands that take several seconds to cast something that will kill 1 human. After thinking on this, I figured to make this thread. So my question is this:

Has there ever been a conflict in fiction that was one sided in a way that didn't make sense?

Yeah... but magic is like really, as in if you have, modern conventional weapons do about as much as cotton balls.

BUt that brings up my point. Why (in any media: games, movies, books, etc.) do holy beings in a war with other holying beings (angels and demons fighting lets say), do each side die? I mean... you figure the side with god could just have him walk out and say fuck you i'm god while giving the holy middle finger and blasting everyone he doesnt like straight into nothingness. Besides that... if your a demon you're going straight back to hell for re-enlistment and the same for angels and going ot heaven. it seems like a never ending game of tag between two people who stand beside each other and say tag then tap the person and wait for the next to tag them.

Again, tactical nuclear strike, and the fact that guns take half a second to go off, as opposed to spells which must be cast verbally.

As for the angels verses demons thing, I think it's because of god's whole "I don't meddle with free will" thing. Of course, I'm an atheist, you should probably ask a religious person about it.

But its not even about free will. this is God and angels fighitng against Satan and demons. Tehy're damning themsevles. And like i isaid, you kill one, it just goes back, so its just a constant stalemate really, especially since it doesnt matter in the end how many numbers you have since in the bible it says jesus walks onto the field with a sword then just starts talking and all the demons of hell explode or soemthing because tehy appearantly "cant take the truth yo" or something like that.

Besides, I've seen the magic they use in HP and while its sucky magic, there's better magic that would completely destroy the nuclear weapon before it did damage. magic = god when it deals with mortals. UNless your Gandolf where appearantly your magic makes you god or something like that.

And there;s another thing. How does an all powerful character like gandolf not just destroy the ring himself. he's God from what i've been told and then thats the argument of why he cant do anyhting.

 

[kikon9]

I'm wondering, I just heard about how in the Harry Potter series, the evil wizards begin attacking the muggles. Fundamentally this seems like a bad idea, given that going to open war with a group that has spent the last century building a stockpile of weapons that could sterilize every continent ten times over with wands that take several seconds to cast something that will kill 1 human. After thinking on this, I figured to make this thread. So my question is this:

Has there ever been a conflict in fiction that was one sided in a way that didn't make sense?

Yeah... but magic is like really, as in if you have, modern conventional weapons do about as much as cotton balls.

BUt that brings up my point. Why (in any media: games, movies, books, etc.) do holy beings in a war with other holying beings (angels and demons fighting lets say), do each side die? I mean... you figure the side with god could just have him walk out and say fuck you i'm god while giving the holy middle finger and blasting everyone he doesnt like straight into nothingness. Besides that... if your a demon you're going straight back to hell for re-enlistment and the same for angels and going ot heaven. it seems like a never ending game of tag between two people who stand beside each other and say tag then tap the person and wait for the next to tag them.

Again, tactical nuclear strike, and the fact that guns take half a second to go off, as opposed to spells which must be cast verbally.

As for the angels verses demons thing, I think it's because of god's whole "I don't meddle with free will" thing. Of course, I'm an atheist, you should probably ask a religious person about it.

But its not even about free will. this is God and angels fighitng against Satan and demons. Tehy're damning themsevles. And like i isaid, you kill one, it just goes back, so its just a constant stalemate really, especially since it doesnt matter in the end how many numbers you have since in the bible it says jesus walks onto the field with a sword then just starts talking and all the demons of hell explode or soemthing because tehy appearantly "cant take the truth yo" or something like that.

Besides, I've seen the magic they use in HP and while its sucky magic, there's better magic that would completely destroy the nuclear weapon before it did damage. magic = god when it deals with mortals. UNless your Gandolf where appearantly your magic makes you god or something like that.

And there;s another thing. How does an all powerful character like gandolf not just destroy the ring himself. he's God from what i've been told and then thats the argument of why he cant do anyhting.

I think the reason that Gandolf cannot destroy the ring is because the ring is enchanted so only the fires of mount doom can destroy it.

On topic though. In HP there are maybe 2 guys that can use magic that puts them on par with a WMD. The human military's vastly superior numbers and faster guns, plus F**king NUKES. I think puts them down as a force to be reckoned with. I mean, if we just took one of the most psychotic villains in a different genre and plopped him into the harry potter universe, then he would have every single character dead halfway through. For instance, what if we tossed Heath Ledger's Joker into the fray, or Jigsaw, or Freddy, or Jason. Or, to make an even further point, what if we dropped in some Borg or some Replicators? Lets see "Wingardium-Leviosa" stand up to those.

 

[SuperSuperSuperGuy]

I agree with Harry Potter. Notice how a good chunk of the wizards have very little knowledge of human technology. A tactical nuclear strike would leave them baffled and, possibly, afraid for their lives.

I also highly doubt that spells that have specific effects on humans, such as disarming an opponent, would work on a tank.

 

[Megalodon]

I'm wondering, I just heard about how in the Harry Potter series, the evil wizards begin attacking the muggles. Fundamentally this seems like a bad idea, given that going to open war with a group that has spent the last century building a stockpile of weapons that could sterilize every continent ten times over with wands that take several seconds to cast something that will kill 1 human. After thinking on this, I figured to make this thread. So my question is this:

Has there ever been a conflict in fiction that was one sided in a way that didn't make sense?

Yeah... but magic is like really, as in if you have, modern conventional weapons do about as much as cotton balls.

BUt that brings up my point. Why (in any media: games, movies, books, etc.) do holy beings in a war with other holying beings (angels and demons fighting lets say), do each side die? I mean... you figure the side with god could just have him walk out and say fuck you i'm god while giving the holy middle finger and blasting everyone he doesnt like straight into nothingness. Besides that... if your a demon you're going straight back to hell for re-enlistment and the same for angels and going ot heaven. it seems like a never ending game of tag between two people who stand beside each other and say tag then tap the person and wait for the next to tag them.

Again, tactical nuclear strike, and the fact that guns take half a second to go off, as opposed to spells which must be cast verbally.

As for the angels verses demons thing, I think it's because of god's whole "I don't meddle with free will" thing. Of course, I'm an atheist, you should probably ask a religious person about it.

But its not even about free will. this is God and angels fighitng against Satan and demons. Tehy're damning themsevles. And like i isaid, you kill one, it just goes back, so its just a constant stalemate really, especially since it doesnt matter in the end how many numbers you have since in the bible it says jesus walks onto the field with a sword then just starts talking and all the demons of hell explode or soemthing because tehy appearantly "cant take the truth yo" or something like that.

Besides, I've seen the magic they use in HP and while its sucky magic, there's better magic that would completely destroy the nuclear weapon before it did damage. magic = god when it deals with mortals. UNless your Gandolf where appearantly your magic makes you god or something like that.

And there;s another thing. How does an all powerful character like gandolf not just destroy the ring himself. he's God from what i've been told and then thats the argument of why he cant do anyhting.

I assume you mean Gandalf? Gandalf did not have the power to directly destroy the ring, and he could not take it himself because of his power, when the ring corrupted him it would be bad for the free peoples.

 

[Squarez]

And there;s another thing. How does an all powerful character like gandolf not just destroy the ring himself. he's God from what i've been told and then thats the argument of why he cant do anyhting.

You've been told wrong, basically. Gandalf is just an incredibly clever wizard. He managed to be bested by Saruman, so chances are that Sauron's even more powerful than Saruman. So Gandalf couldn't destroy it. Even then, it's explained in the book and film "it was forged in the fires of Mt Doom, only there can it be undone" or words to that effect.

 

[emeraldrafael]

snipped for space

Like i said, they use shitty magic. Go find a satanist and ask them what really should be happening when "magic is used to be devastating" and it would probably scare you. Also, isnt jig saw the puppet from saw? Couldnt you just stop him with a bullet to the guy controlling and match to the puppet? His entire thing relies on the fact that you were too dumb to not drink a drugged drink or however the hell he caught you. Plus the whole HP world is meant to be a one sided battle because if everyone had full extent of their magic I dont think the muggle race would make much of an appearance anyway.

And its all on topic really, this isnt just an HP thread. But thats what i'm saying about Gandolf. People say he's all powerful but hten there's something he cant destroy. Then when you say oka he's not all powerful people say he is and then its just a broken circle LotR filled with fan boy love for a character. I mean, he comes back from the dead.