Unskippable: Call of Duty: Black Ops II

[Evil Smurf]

I'll miss your stupid face, but not stinky pits.

 

[Ryan Hughes]

I think this rivals Ace Combat 6 for most depressing intro you've ever done. Close second. As for the timeline, I couldn't even begin to guess.

That's probably because they watched a TRAILER-INTRO first. The actual Intro starts with the "No Trespassing"-sign. The rest? Not important. In fact, not even part of the proper intro.

Blame those two guys making the video for purposly confusing you to make the game look worse.

Yes, because it is absolutely necessary to play a trailer of the game that the player just purchased, placed in their console and selected "new campaign." That is the most critical moment when selling a game to a customer.

Or, the entire Call of Duty and Blops story is terrible, poorly written, simultaneously asinine and sophomoric, needlessly complicated to confuse its target audience of semi-conscious aardvarks into thinking that it is "complex" and compelling.

 

[leviadragon99]

Welp, I too have no idea who any of these people are, what their goals and connections to each other are and why I should care.

 

[Bindal]

I think this rivals Ace Combat 6 for most depressing intro you've ever done. Close second. As for the timeline, I couldn't even begin to guess.

That's probably because they watched a TRAILER-INTRO first. The actual Intro starts with the "No Trespassing"-sign. The rest? Not important. In fact, not even part of the proper intro.

Blame those two guys making the video for purposly confusing you to make the game look worse.

Yes, because it is absolutely necessary to play a trailer of the game that the player just purchased, placed in their console and selected "new campaign." That is the most critical moment when selling a game to a customer.

Or, the entire Call of Duty and Blops story is terrible, poorly written, simultaneously asinine and sophomoric, needlessly complicated to confuse its target audience of semi-conscious aardvarks into thinking that it is "complex" and compelling.

Or they need SOMETHING to pad out the loading time so people don't stare at a black screen the whole time.
Because guess what? THAT TRAILER-THING AT THE BEGINNING IS THE ONLY TIME THEY DO THAT WHOLE WILD JUMPING! Otherwise, it is straight forward. (And no, the story doesn't try to be complex or anything)

 

[Darth_Payn]

I love it when you guys rip on the grey-brown modern shooters. The bad guy here looks like the evil brother of The Most Interesting Man in the World, like when he showed off his armpits for his followers to sniff. My favorite joke is the No Trespassing sign bit.

 

[UrinalDook]

Yes, because it is absolutely necessary to play a trailer of the game that the player just purchased, placed in their console and selected "new campaign." That is the most critical moment when selling a game to a customer.

Or, the entire Call of Duty and Blops story is terrible, poorly written, simultaneously asinine and sophomoric, needlessly complicated to confuse its target audience of semi-conscious aardvarks into thinking that it is "complex" and compelling.

Except that's not what happens. When you hit 'new campaign', you get the cutscene starting at the 'no trespassing' sign.

The trailer is played before the main menu, and (as I've never seen it before) is very easy to miss if you skip the logos.

You know what else includes a trailer of the game you've already bought? Pretty much every game ever. If you left Halo on the menu, trailer for the game you've already bought. If you left Mass Effect at the 'press start' screen, highly inaccurate trailer for the game you've already bought. If you left GTA: Vice City running through all its logos, you got a trailer for the game you've already bought. I could go on for some time.

Rag on the story all you want, assuming you have actually played it through and are not being unbelievably ignorant and prejudiced, but at least be fair and criticise what it actually presents to the player as narrative.

 

[spwatkins]

I feel like not playing the first game greatly decreased my understanding of what i just saw.

Having played the first one, I can assure you that it did not.

 

[spwatkins]

I think he was going to slit his own throat with that fairly blunt locket. Suicide aside, that's fairly badass.

Fire damage enough to burn all her hair off and make it obvious she has no chance, and she still sounds perfectly healthy.

Burns all her hair, and all the skin we can see, but almost doesn't affect her dress. Must be a well made dress.

She's like the anti-Daenerys Targaryen

 

[0986875533423]

I'm surprised nobody thought to comment about the boss-man's tie being the exact same colour as his shirt. Is that an actual military thing? Cause here it just looked like a missing texture map.

And I'm pretty sure you're only allowed to flashback in someone else's flashback if you then tell the person who owns your parent flashback that you had a flashback and what was in it. Otherwise how would they know you had a flashback to include it in their flashback?

 

[Muspelheim]

"My, it's a lovely army you've got here, very good indeed... Ehm... Do you have any grown-ups I could talk to?"

-Pvt. Muspelheim, whenever inexplicably roped into a Call of Duty introduction scenario.

 

[Endocrom]

It's Merle! Where's Derle!

and where's your knife hand?

 

[ThatDarnCoyote]

I'm surprised nobody thought to comment about the boss-man's tie being the exact same colour as his shirt. Is that an actual military thing? Cause here it just looked like a missing texture map.

If you mean Lt. Col. North in the Alaska scene, he is wearing a USMC Service "A" or "Alpha" uniform. The ties are indeed the same shade of khaki brown as the shirts.