Unskippable: Zoids Assault

[Canadamus Prime]

I don't think it's humanly possible to make this intro funny. Actually I think the monologue by Ben Stein would've been a lot more bearable to listen to.

Next Week: "'Manos: The Hands of Fate' The Video Game"

 

[dalek sec]

Sweet Golden Throne of Holy Terra that was boring! I mean as always you guys were able to make the cut scene's watchable but that was... just boring as hell.

 

[dalek sec]

Hands down worst intro ever!
You guys did the best you could, but this wreck is beyond repair.

Pretty much this, you guys did your best to savalge something from the burning train wreck that was this cutscene but there wasn't much you could do.

 

[CrazyGirl17]

Wow that was a dull game opening. Way, WAY too much text, and it dragged on too long. And if this is Zoids, then where are the giant robots?!

 

[Prof. Monkeypox]

That wasn't much fun, sorry Graham and Stark (I don't blame you) because the cut scene was just so dreary. It didn't even have the impossible awfulness of Eternal Sonata. It was just too dry to be that funny.

Of course, you have to love: "he explained to me what they were, they were plans."

Good work with what you had, though.

 

[7ru7h]

So where were the Zoids?

I beleve that's the question everyone's thinking. Looks like we'll never know...

I heard there was to be punch and pie.

OT - thank god i watched this not long after waking up. Dear god was that boring

 

[magpie882]

Loved The Goonshow references. I wonder if the scientist guy had any other children?
"Nein."
"Nine children?!"

 

[Spitfire175]

[HEADING=1]GOOD, GODDAMN F*CK[/HEADING]

That was DULL

Good job guys, though you didn't have much to work with

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Chasmodius]

Oh my goodness... all of those news articles could have been summarized in one minute of expository dialogue (like say, between cops at one of the student rallies?) and, while it would have been cliche'd and trite, it would have still been 100 times more interesting than anything we just saw. Ouch. Thanks for taking one for the team, Paul and Graham.

Next Week: "'Manos: The Hands of Fate' The Video Game"

Now that I would watch! I might even play it, too.

That wasn't much fun, sorry Graham and Stark (I don't blame you) because the cut scene was just so dreary.

Wait, Iron Man was in this scene? I assume you meant Paul, not Stark (being Graham's last name).

 

[Formica Archonis]

Wow. That droning voice - it's like Michelle Ruff had a kid and the father was a Speak & Spell.

So, to inject some random Zoids awesomeness, a line from the C64 game. Upon examining a Serpent lair, there's one of three status messages that pops up. (I never got the third in play, but it's in the program. Wonder if it's just not used, or if I was just crap at that game?)

Serpent present
Serpent absent
Serpent out to lunch - you're the main course.

 

[Sallix]

Oh boy i loved zoids when i was youn- what the hell was that?

jolly good show.

 

[garfoldsomeoneelse]

Damn, guys, the cutscene was so boring that I had to force myself to sit through to the end. Never thought there'd be one so bad that you guys couldn't make me enjoy it, but there it is.

 

[fanklok]

Wait that was a zoids game? Then where in the fuck where all the zoids, like Liger 0 or Panzer Liger. Or ya know any zoid ever, if you guys didn't have the title up there I'd have no idea what that game would be about.

 

[fanklok]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJVvmQVnpNw
UGH the game looks hideous. It's like Front Mission, which was actually awesome (but old as dirt), only more confusing and with KITTY MECHA. Dear god...

I asked the same thing as the guy in the video when I watched that.

"What the hell just happened?"

That and wow that really sets me back, they used an Alarm sound half way through in that video that was a sound affect to a sega CD game back in the day... Wow....

Actually that video made perfect sense to me, it's a turn based strategy game. What looks like a poor attempt at one but turn based strategy non the less.

 

[Deadlock Radium]

"I was showed some plans, and my father told me what they were."
"They were plans."
Just so epic.

But that game looks like torture, and according to the Unskippable folks, we only saw the GOOD PARTS.
I will never play that game, it just looks straight out super-boring.

 

[Grey_Focks]

Watching that cutscene, I would have no idea that game was about giant fighting robots. None. I thought it was going to be some sort of "Ace Attorney" knockoff. Giant robots, though, now that is a surprise.

 

[Tyrann]

That was so disapointing. I loved the Zoids anime. This was just such a mochery.

 

[blalien]

[HEADING=1]GOOD, GODDAMN F*CK[/HEADING]

That was DULL

Good job guys, though you didn't have much to work with

You don't have to censor yourself on the Escapist.

And I used to love the cartoon and the toys. That intro made me die a little inside.

 

[Spyre2000]

Long drawn out text scenes followed by long boring monotone speeches don't make for good episodes.

There was hardly anything for you guys to comment on and it felt more like I was actually watching the cut scene you an episode of Unskippable. Most of your comments were about what I was already thinking, which was "OMG this cut scene is mind numbingly boring". So it didn't really add anything in the way of humor.

 

[BlueHighwind]

Wow, this is easily the worst opening cutscenes I've ever seen. I was expecting awesome high-def battles between all the silly giant robot animals that I used to watch on Toonami... not unbelievably boring political conversations that they didn't even take the trouble to ANIMATE!! Who does that??

Its like the made the storyboards, ran out of money, so couldn't animate it. "What do we do now?" says one programmer, "we can't finish the game." His boss says "screw it, just show what we have and get the cheapest anime voice actors you can find. Nobody is going give a #$%! about this game anyway."

The commentary was still hilarious though.