Use whatever is in the room you're in right now to defend yourself.

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Dec 14, 2008
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I have a trash barrel full of dirty tissues (its not what you think, I had a cold recently) that could be used to gross them out, along with two 10 pound weights I could use as clubs.
 

haloinverse

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Jun 27, 2010
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There's a big baroque ornamental sword on a plaque on my wall. It's flat-edged blunt (as opposed to rounded-off blunt), the blade wobbles unpredictably when swung, and would probably snap near - or off of - the hilt if I actually hit something/one with it. However, the *handle* is heavy, and has lots of curved pointy bits that are probably supposed to look fierce in a skulls-and-dragons sort of way.

Step 1: Hold handle, "blade" point on the floor, step on the blade, snapping it.
Step 2a: If part of the blade survives, I now have a jagged wide piece of metal with a handle and handguard.
Step 2b: If the blade goes flying off the handle, I now have a multiply-pointy wide piece of metal that is a handle and handguard.
Step 3: Bleat like a goat ironically.
 

Drakmorg

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Aug 15, 2008
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Let's see...
I've got a knife just within reach right now
two more less than a few feet away
a box full of thumbtacks (throw them on the ground to slow them down maybe?)
a drawer full of knives (my kitchen and living room are the same room)
a plastic container of jelly-beans (big enough that it could at least slow someone down if I hit them with it)
and if I need to I suppose I could attempt to beat them to death with chairs
 

mew1234321

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Oct 15, 2009
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Oh shit, so many ways to get all Chuck Greene on someones ass...

I dunno, I would probably start lifting my PC, before immediately screaming at the blasphemy I was about to commit, and grab knife of something. Then reconsider and pick up a chair. It's not like I'm trying to hurt anyone or anything.

Depends on the number of burglars and what they're doing. I mean, if I think I could threaten them off, I'd probably go with the knife, yeah.

Damn, I mostly just want to flex my Speech skill and see what that does.
 

Yarggg

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Apr 17, 2010
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Challenge Accepted

Well, I would first grab the fork from lunch today and then attach it to my earphones then swing it around hitting one of them (Assuming that there's two of them) then I would unplug my mouse then drop it then grab the fire-axe from the other side of the room and beat the other one to shit.

Challenge Complete
 

Nibblitman

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Dec 30, 2010
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Well I guess my laptop could really hurt someone if it came down to it.

On a related note some of the stuff people have to hand is getting kinda crazy
 

emeraldrafael

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Jul 17, 2010
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I see...

*Looks at:*
- Metal yard stick sharpened enough to leave a rather deep cut.
- Sharpened metal washer for throwing that can be rather lethal (x28 and counting)
- Rapier
- Practice Rapier (x2)
- Broadsword
- Tomahawk (x7)
- Knife (x8)
- Roadflare (x5)
- Bottle of Industrial Strength Acid
- Pens/Pencils/etc (x?)
- Scissors (x4) I have different scissors for different stuff
- 1889 Winchester (x2)
- 1862 Colt Army (x3)
- 1861 Colt Navy (x2)
- Bottle of Black Powder (5 lbs)
- Bottle of Road Flare fuel (x3 [different colours] 3 lbs each)
- 3 ft long 1 inch wood die rod (x5)
- Walking cane, treated oak wood, steel tipped, steel ball topped, amber tipped

I am more then well equipped for burglary. The last two guys that tried that learned the VERY hard war.

EDIT: Actually, I know its cheating, but usually I have three sets of heavy towing chains. The only reason I dont have htem now is a friend is borrowing them, but I'll have them by sunday.
 

Rottweiler

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Jan 20, 2008
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Um, talk about spoiled for choice...

Rock Island .45...HP-DA 9mm...

2 different Mosin-Nagants...shotgun...

4 swords, 3 bayonets, 5-6 knives...

And of course, the Cat.
 

vingtcinq

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Sep 7, 2010
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A hefty floor lamp, an easel..um..little decorative glass bulbs with pointy ends to stick in dirt.
Awkward but one of those things could do the job, I suppose.

Most probably aim a few kicks or swing the lamp around like crazy..
 

blaize2010

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Sep 17, 2010
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Aris Khandr said:
TehCookie said:
My sewing scissors are probably sharper than my various swords. However I would still grab a sword.
Oh, absolutely. But if something had to be done like NOW, and the scissors were the first things I could reach, we'll, I'll buy another pair later.
they may take our wallets, they may take our silverware, but first they'll have to take OUR CLAYMORES! BY WHICH I MEAN IN THEIR HEADS!
 

Whodat

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Jul 14, 2009
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VamP1R4T3 said:
Hmmm... Left hand weapon = Bass Guitar. Right hand weapon = Katana. Now all I need is ranged weapons... Dart's do I guess.

Offtopic, I feel somewhat disconcerted considering how many people have swords of some description.
Personally, I'm jealous of them. Would've bought a katana but my parents wouldn't let me.
 

blaize2010

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Sep 17, 2010
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Rottweiler said:
Um, talk about spoiled for choice...

Rock Island .45...HP-DA 9mm...

2 different Mosin-Nagants...shotgun...

4 swords, 3 bayonets, 5-6 knives...

And of course, the Cat.
i'd throw the cat. vicious little sons of bitches, but pull the tail first. you just made a cat-nade
 

blindraven

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Dec 3, 2008
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Well, my room is sadly not an armory, so mostly heavy books, bags, pens, 4 inch blade, and a scuba diving flashlight(not supposed to be in here >> ).

Tho I am on the top floor, so barring an aerial insertion I'd have time to get my longbow from my closet n strung, any punk tryin to come up the stairs will meet a nice 75 pound thwack of a bowstring before they go down. Sure only field tip arrows and not exactly a combat weight bow, but burglars usually don't carry shields nowadays. If they do get close, unstrung it can make a handy quarterstaff being over 6 feet in length then.