Use whatever is in the room you're in right now to defend yourself.

[Del-Toro]

I have several swords in this room, right now. I think I'm basically set as far as self defense goes right now.

 

[Zykon TheLich]

Hmm... o

 

[Anjel]

Where the fuck are you guys getting all these weapons from?

I'm in England, and I can't afford to spend money on ornaments like swords, so the best i've got is a can of Raid fly killer and a lighter. Good enough, I'd say...

Also in England... swap you your can of Raid for my hole punch?

Or potentially we could combine them to make a poisoned hole punch, lethal only to flies and wasps. We are defending ourselves from insects in this thread, right? Good. We're set. Let's team up.

I have my mind set on a zombie apocalypse but sure lets go with flies and wasps. Particularly wasps - angry little bastards.

Using my half empty tin of Lynx deodorant I have successfully manipulated the hole punch to punch a hole in some paper, the piece of paper instead of falling into the pocket that collects them now falls freely... in short I removed the plastic cover at the bottom.

As the piece of paper descends I have wedged the tin of deodorant under my chin so when I look down it hits the gas release mechanism coating the piece of paper in the smell of Africa and projecting it towards my intended target. All that awaits now is your can of Raid and we can move to retail release.

One downside to our invention is you kinda look like you're straining on the toilet when using it... but hey, it could save our life we can't afford to be picky!

 

[Insanity72]

ok...lets see....

a hand and a half sword
2 fighting knives
1 acoustic guitar
1 electric guitar
a small amplifier
various pens and pencils
small plates

 

[Muco5681]

i would take the fork and jam into one eye and the spoon into the other then i would A:run into med bedroom and get my sword or B: run into the kitchen and get the meat cleaver form the wall there problem solved

 

[Ryank1908]

Where the fuck are you guys getting all these weapons from?

I'm in England, and I can't afford to spend money on ornaments like swords, so the best i've got is a can of Raid fly killer and a lighter. Good enough, I'd say...

Also in England... swap you your can of Raid for my hole punch?

Or potentially we could combine them to make a poisoned hole punch, lethal only to flies and wasps. We are defending ourselves from insects in this thread, right? Good. We're set. Let's team up.

I have my mind set on a zombie apocalypse but sure lets go with flies and wasps. Particularly wasps - angry little bastards.

Using my half empty tin of Lynx deodorant I have successfully manipulated the hole punch to punch a hole in some paper, the piece of paper instead of falling into the pocket that collects them now falls freely... in short I removed the plastic cover at the bottom.

As the piece of paper descends I have wedged the tin of deodorant under my chin so when I look down it hits the gas release mechanism coating the piece of paper in the smell of Africa and projecting it towards my intended target. All that awaits now is your can of Raid and we can move to retail release.

One downside to our invention is you kinda look like you're straining on the toilet when using it... but hey, it could save our life we can't afford to be picky!

We have invented the Automatic Flypaper Cannon! All we need now is to get some kind of engineer to put an infra-red laser in front of our mechanism and we have the worlds first high-tech fly killer, propelling tiny poisonous circle of paper at our mortal enemies to wrap them in their doom!

 

[Anjel]

Where the fuck are you guys getting all these weapons from?

I'm in England, and I can't afford to spend money on ornaments like swords, so the best i've got is a can of Raid fly killer and a lighter. Good enough, I'd say...

Also in England... swap you your can of Raid for my hole punch?

Or potentially we could combine them to make a poisoned hole punch, lethal only to flies and wasps. We are defending ourselves from insects in this thread, right? Good. We're set. Let's team up.

I have my mind set on a zombie apocalypse but sure lets go with flies and wasps. Particularly wasps - angry little bastards.

Using my half empty tin of Lynx deodorant I have successfully manipulated the hole punch to punch a hole in some paper, the piece of paper instead of falling into the pocket that collects them now falls freely... in short I removed the plastic cover at the bottom.

As the piece of paper descends I have wedged the tin of deodorant under my chin so when I look down it hits the gas release mechanism coating the piece of paper in the smell of Africa and projecting it towards my intended target. All that awaits now is your can of Raid and we can move to retail release.

One downside to our invention is you kinda look like you're straining on the toilet when using it... but hey, it could save our life we can't afford to be picky!

We have invented the Automatic Flypaper Cannon! All we need now is to get some kind of engineer to put an infra-red laser in front of our mechanism and we have the worlds first high-tech fly killer, propelling tiny poisonous circle of paper at our mortal enemies to wrap them in their doom!

You, my friend, are a genius... you may return the favour.

 

[Quite_Insane]

I have both my 5" and 7" Kabars on my lap, so I think I'm all set.

 

[William Dickbringer]

I have duel swords (they're dull but it can work)
and body spray (That can burn when in the eyes)

 

[Magicman10893]

A short sword, two daggers, about a dozen folding knives, a baseball bat and an inch thick dowel rod... I think I would survive long enough to make it 20 feet from my room to the living room and master bedroom to grab the pistols and rifle.

 

[idodo35]

im going to go with my litle brother as a human shield and something heavy for a wepon

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

I will use my door in my left, for it is my weak hand, and I will use my wardrobe in my right. Lets see who's breaking and entering now; come at me bro.

 

[DefinitelyPsychotic]

I would grab the U.S. Army Knife on top of my refridgerator and slice those fuckers up!

 

[Lydius_Winters]

No joke, I'll use the kukri standing on it's display stand on the shelf beside me.

 

[MasterMuffinMan]

Sadly, due to university regulations, my dagger was confiscated, so all I have is a LARP sword and dagger, a couple of kitchen knives, a penknife, an umbrella, my bass, flute, violin bow, drum sticks and guitar. Oh, and a 6ft 1/2" diameter pole with a banner wrapped round it. I do also have a set of leather armour, but it's not exactly easy to put on in a hurry.

 

[infohippie]

I have next to me a katana, a wakizashi and a tanto, as well as the heavy, solid lump of marble that is the trophy I won in a dagger tournament. Plenty of choices there for weapons.

 

[Tharwen]

I have a fairly heavy radio with a handle I could swing.

er... I really don't have much hope besides jumping out of the window into the bushes below. I suppose I could swing a belt at someone. That might sting a bit...?

I keep a bat in my room for just such emergencies. If that's not within arm's reach for whatever reason, I have no issues with throwing everything on my computer desk at the intruder to disorient them. Also my room has two doors so I could potentially evade them by going out one of them.

Of course, this is all assuming the burglar doesn't have a gun. I'm probably screwed if they have a gun.

I read your post all the way through before I realised you weren't talking about this sort of bat:

 

[PinkiePyro]

burglars are fucked I have a sword and a collection of throwable knifes in here

 

[Ashtovo]

nothing hurts more than a 20lb bag of D&D books to the face. its seriously the only other potentially useful thing in this room besides a laptop.