Useless team mates

[Padwolf]

I've posted here before and now I'm back to rant. So I've just come out of the worst league of legends game ever. Me and my boyfriend were bot lane, doing really well. Playing really well. Our top lane Rengar however, sat in the bushes for mot of the game and did nothing when an enemy walked by him. Our mid lane Katarina played really badly, she kept doing a shun po into the enemy team when no one was near enough to help her and she often did it without reason. She also kept coming into team fights then buggered off into the bushes, the enemy team followed her and killed her instantly. Our jungle Malphite kept getting into situations he shouldn't have been. My boyfriend however was playing really well and it was a damn shame the rest of the team weren't. I was playing well, but I kept trying to save everyone. So I died too.

 

[42Weasels]

Tried to play a game with my brother and a friend of his the other day, and we surrendered at 20. I went jungle vi, with varus sona bot, kayle mid, and jax top. Mid got crushed right away by ap blitz somehow, and that led to shaco and blitz setting up camp in my jungle. Bot lane died fast and often to kog, and then jax started to whine about how I wasn't ganking him....even though I was still level 2 at 5 minutes. In other words we got crushed. I handled it very simply:

1. Commended the enemy team for kicking my ass so hard, and gave them honorable opponent for not verbally abusing even after the 20 - 3 lead they had at 10 minutes (I had the 3 kills).
2. Reported our carry for "unskilled player" as this isn't the only time my brother has performed this bad
3. Stomped a couple arams and watched some youtube
4. Moved on with my life.

I accept that there will always be bad players on my team, and the longer I play videogames, the opportunities I will have to be stuck with them. Don't get worked up, just move on. Eventually these bad players will be on the other team and things will be good.

 

[verdant monkai]

The Walking Dead

Clementine....

What about that time she saved you from being eaten by cannibals by going through a vent?

Or the time when she went over the bars to get components to cut through the tanker?

Or that time she opened the door to the house you use as a base for episode 4 and 5?


The most useless AI team mate I know is Miller from Metro 2033. There is a part where you are bombarded with kamikaze amoebas, and instead of running through them like you do (you take next to no damage if you just run) he just walk slowly and calmly through.
After dying 13 times he made me rage quit I had to come back the next day to finish the game. Good thing I did too its a brilliant game aside from the Miller escort caper.

 

[joshthor]

yup. thats league of legends. sometimes you just get terrible teams. this morning i played jungle kha'zix we had a riven top. i asked for help with a leash, riven didnt bother to even approach my jungle and our mid helped as best she could. however, i ended up behind because of a terrible leash. before i even hit level 3 riven was complaining about me not ganking and how she was going to end up dived. she then rage quit at level 3. sometimes people just suck.

 

[Thyunda]

Battlefield 3: I've lost count on the number of times I'm put on a team of literally pants-on-head-retarded players. Rush? Camp in spawn. Conquest? Camp a single flag/base/fly around in jets doing nothing. I can only carry so much. It just frustrates me to go the all the trouble of getting a push going only to die, have no one back me up and go back to step one. Or worse, have my 'teammates' give the enemy free vehicles. Enemy has double IFV on Conquest Bazaar = you lose. The problem I find is that often when I lose it's not my fault, it's just that my team has the intelligence of a cucumber. When the next guy below me not in my squad is 3000+ points below me, I just shake my head in disappointment. I mean really?

All I ask for is competence, that's all. Just be okay. I can take it from there. Don't run in packs of 8 all facing in one direction like a bunch of zerglings, because all it takes it 1 guy to flank and rack up a multikill, then we're all boned. I know, I've done it. Don't get out of your tanks in front of the enemy, all they're going to do is steal it. Actually watch the lane you're looking at, nothing pisses me off more than being killed by a guy who literally ran past 4+ teammates. AGH! /rage

A Domination game had gone terribly wrong, and we ended up in a 2v5 match. The enemy controlled all three control points on Métro, and we were forced back to our spawn by the Café. My team-mate, a far higher rank than me, because I was new to the game, lay prone at the spawn attempting to fight a sniper's duel with the enemy, who were poking out of half the windows of the building to the left of the control point. Obviously, we were in a bit of trouble.

So I took the low-level shotgun - that one with the numbers. And I dashed toward the wall beside the freeway, and edged my way along it to keep out of view of the snipers. I crept around to the ramp behind the building and hugged the wall as I approached the door. Then I burst in and shotgunned every last one of the motherfuckers. They respawned, and tried to retake the building from the Crazy Shotgun Man, but every single one of them ate buckshot the second they came into my new domain. They were getting royally fucked up and you could tell they were getting frustrated. The Café lay open for capture. Our way back into this game was clear.

Eventually I was killed, and I respawned to find that stupid fuck on my team STILL prone and STILL trying to snipe them! God I was mad. I took to duelling the snipers with an RPG.

We lost that game, by the way. In case that wasn't obviously inevitable.

 

[C4tt4nn4]

well, one time in ME3 multiplayer, I was on a great team: I was vanguard, and the two other dudes were like an engineer and an infiltrator. there was a fourth person, but they just did their own thing.
we stuck together and we were kicking ass, reviving each other and just generally being awesome, until we ran into a tricky wave. and so we fell, one by one. of course, we all died within ample range of the fourth person, who didn't lift a fat finger to help. this person then proceeded to clear the map (on wave 8 so there was a ton of enemies) using only a pistol and no powers for like 20 minutes. Once we all revived, we continued playing, but i have never wanted to friendly fire someone so bad.

revenge was sweet when the dirt bag died like 2 feet in front of our line and no one bothered reviving him.

 

[alexwbyrd]

Knew it! From the title I immediately knew this was League of Legends. Bad community game has a bad community. I mean sure Halo and COD have crappy communities too but I suppose it was somewhat of a lucky guess.

On topic: Yeah I get this all the time on League. People must not realize that if you are new at the game and/or want to try a new champion, they should custom make a game with bots and play alone just to get a feel for it. At least with an all bot team, no one else's match will be ruined by someone else's ineptitude.

 

[blazearmoru]

I'm bouncing around the top 5% skill level on DotA 2 now so I can get away with solo-queue pretty well without getting screwed by morons. In fact a bunch of my friends are in the 30~60% skill range so if I queue with them and not get a full party, there's actually a higher chance of finding a moron on our team. Just raise your ELO. It should operate the same for LoL.

Thing about DotA is though, in LoL you get useless teammates at worst while in DotA you get anchors. Good example of this is a very badly played Nature's Prophet. Back before I ranked up, played with this NP and his ult hits everything on the map for 250 damage ok? He uses this to farm whenever it's up and it's only strong enough to last hit 20% of the creeps! Because our map is bigger than LoL, that means 80% of the creep's bounty just evaporates into air every 60 seconds! And the lanes never push to our side of the map because his ult keeps pushing it into enemy territory. This caused our entire team, except NP to be starved of gold and exp. Because he was the only one getting money, he bought kill steal items and in the end after we lost he boasted about his score ratio. Terrible experience. =/

Edit :
You either quit a noob feeder, bitching about the rude children in the community,
Or you play long enough to rage at noobs feeders in your community.

 

[Hawk of Battle]

I must be wierd, because in ME3 multiplayer, I actually preferred it and found it hilarious whenever my teammates were useless. Mainly because as an Infiltrator with a Mantis X (I started as a Vanguard until I realised how op the Infiltrator was) I was confidant enough in my abilities to solo silver, so every time I got a team that was useless, who ran off and got themselves killed whilst surrounded by enemies so I couldn't get to them and res them, I would just calmly continue killing them off with cloaked headshots. I didn't care if it took 10 minutes to finish the wave, I would make them sit there and watch me pro it up, cloak, shoot, move to new cover, repeat.

The only downside to being the only Infiltrator left standing was that your cloak stops working as a cloak and enemies can now see you all the time, but the damage bonus it gives was enough to 1 shot a lot of stuff, and seriously damage everything else, so the only real problem is you have to move after every shot, but as long as you keep aware of your surroundings it's pretty easy to survive.

So yeah, it was pretty funny to make 3 other people watch as I kill everything, without ever getting into any real danger, knowing that they must be pretty annoyed that they died against these same enemies. Even funnier if they all died again in another round later on, because you're just basically rubbing it in.

 

[Neuromancer]

The Walking Dead

Clementine....

That's an interesting way of saying Ben.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I used to get shit teams quite a lot when I played CoD:WaW a lot. I never considered myself a particularly great player (although by the end of one summer I was pretty boss), but I frequently had to carry the team. You would always get idiots standing in front of the enemy tanks and trying to take it down with a semi-auto, or keep running out into the line of fire of a sniper that had been there the whole game or something. For some weird reason people hide when their team is losing, which I really don't understand. Why don't you just quit?

 

[m19]

Just watch Battlefield Friends on youtube.

 

[Brandon237]

Random teams in Starcraft 2 will make you bleed. Most of them suck SUPER bad at first (sometimes you are put against an arranged team with communication) and then when you rating goes up and you are not single-handedly carrying a 3v3 match (where your opponents have NO comparatively good player ) you suddenly get a shitton of masters players on your team who insult you for sucking balls non-stop and even harass you after the game for making them lose -.- Middle-ground is hard to notice in team games as they are SO FUCKING ERRATIC.

Arranged teams can be worse though, I am either best or tie best among my friends atm, with some of them being considerably worse than me, and when they ask me to alter my strategy (which overpowers our opponents COMPLETELY) to fit into their (stupid) plan I get pissed off to no end... with my friends who decided retard is the flavour of the day.
Just for reference: I go 14 gas 14 pool as zerg into MASS ling (we rush, team games are always rushes >.<), my one friend uses photon cannons, and then the third guy is variable (as in could be two people both of whom troll and change plans frequently). A I am asked to make a very early spawning pool... to support my cannon-rushing not so good friend... at the cost of my massively powerful strategy... he is cannon-rushing... A TERRAN -.- Cannons are static defence (or offence) and terrans can fly their buildings away. The flaws of this plan and problems with me sacrificing my game plan here should be obvious.

 

[Dark Prophet]

In Dawn of War II last stand there are two kind of useless the new players who suck because they are new to the game and low level, that I understand and I'll try to help them as much as I can but then there are the ones who think they are so fucking badass and go all "grrr i'm dirty Harry grrrr" and then they die and blame others for not helping them out, wtf if you run to the other side of the map away from our fortified position into enemy horde then yes you will fucking die you fucking idiot.

Also Starcraft II I have played 3v3 co-op against hard and very hard AI lately and about every 5th game goes tits up because one player just sits in their base with a shit load of units and won't come if others need help.

TF2 don't know the name but the map with the ghosts and control point in the middle, we had to hold it for 10 mins, and let it be said I'm pretty nooby at TF2. So game begins I run to the point as heavy and capture it and hold it almost single handedly about 7 mins, I had help but not much, so some team mates call for medic, mostly other heavies and because they have now all gathered on the point I say OK and go change for medic if I come back everybody is dead and there are 2 enemy engineers with tier 2 turrets and some heavies and pyros on the point we never go over 8 mins of capture, everybody blames me.

 

[Shadowsetzer]

I'm sorry I had to turn down your games earlier D: I feel guilty now!

I had an Ezreal jungle the other day. It did not end well for us. He fed and fed hard. I was doing well, my bot lane was doing well. Then Ezreal fed mid and the opposite jungler. It was just terrible

I remember playing a match with a jungle Ez a few days ago. Wonder if it was the same guy (or game)?

 

[Auron225]

Resistance 2 - especially playing with Superhuman level difficulty. Those that have played it will know that the soldier (usually what I play as) will be standing semi-in the open with shields up and shooting away at everything, while the Spec Ops feed them ammo to keep the shields up. The healer revives them WHEN things go south (because they will). Everyone can stay behind the shields if they want to kill stuff too without getting hurt.

Its particularly annoying when someone playing as a Spec Ops doesn't know that they need to be giving the soldiers ammo - especially in Superhuman difficulty!!

"Alright guys, trivia question! Why are we all hiding behind cover, NOT shooting at them and waiting for them to flood around us in a bloody massacre? Spec Ops? Do you have any suggestions!?"

 

[Zenn3k]

Useless teammates are basically why I try to avoid any and all multiplayer gaming these days.

Yet Devs want to push this experience onto us by making shit single player modes or just ignoring single player entirely.

The worst part of multiplayer is the multiple players :/

 

[spartandude]

one of my friends tried to get into stragety games and my god is he just TERRIBLE at RTS games, now while im no expert (in fact im bellow average) he just cant do it at all. i mean seriously his brain just switches off and he tries to turtle in EVERY game. his idea of a zerg rush happened after i got several banshees in the air

 

[Viking Incognito]

I was playing APB Reloaded once, and it was a delivery mission. My team and I had to get a drug briefcase to the drop point within a certain amount of time or we lost, and the cops had to get the briefcase to the evidence lockup. It was basically capture the flag. The gun-play in that game is standard at best and needlessly frustrating at worst, so the mission felt like it was taking forever. Then, once we have made significant progress toward our goal, the guy with the case gets killed. Someone else on my team picked it up, AND STARTED RUNNING THE WRONG WAY, TOWARD THE OTHER TEAM'S GOAL. I didn't have a mic so I could only stop him by killing him, which I did, then he wouldn't stop banging on about it even after I explained the reason.

Asshole.

 

[Padwolf]

I'm sorry I had to turn down your games earlier D: I feel guilty now!

I had an Ezreal jungle the other day. It did not end well for us. He fed and fed hard. I was doing well, my bot lane was doing well. Then Ezreal fed mid and the opposite jungler. It was just terrible

I remember playing a match with a jungle Ez a few days ago. Wonder if it was the same guy (or game)?

That would be amazing if it were the same game. It was in EUW, I was playing Riven or Vi in top lane and there was a Draven in bot lane. It could be the same guy though.