Video game logic?

[Mysticgamer]

If insane, illogical puzzles count... I got the worst one of all.

Gabriel Knight 3. In order to hire a scooter, Gabriel has to get a passport. Now in the real world there are many possibilities to solve this situation, such as get an emergency passport from the consulate, ask your partner to mail your passport to you, or just ask someone else to hire the thing for you. But no, let's use videogame logic:

1) steal a passport
2) draw a moustache on the passport (when you have none)
3) decide to use cat fur to get a fake moustache
4) get said cat fur by using sticky tape over a narrow hole, and chase the cat through it.


Most adventures have illogical puzzles, but to date the above is the most insane one of all I know of.

What about defeating a yeti with a cream pie?

 

[erbkaiser]

What about defeating a yeti with a cream pie?

Isn't that from King's Quest?
Sierra's designers really were on another planet...

 

[thethingthatlurks]

Apparently one single individual infiltrating the enemy's base in an attempt to stop the evil mastermind is far superior to a tactical nuclear strike, or even a few cruise missiles

People in Liberty City, Prototype and any other game where civies are allowed to freely roam the streets are fucking stupid. I mean, Prototype. A huge mutant/zombie/superpowered war is going o and peopel just swarm the streets. GTA4, people are getting assassinated, ships blowing up etc. I know this is New York city.. but when 1 out of 3 people you know have been shot, ran over, had their car stolen etc.. you know its un-fucking-safe to go outside!

edit - While im thinking about it.. Prince of Persia.. WHY HAVE SO MANY FUCKING TRAPS AND DEATH PITS AROUND IN A NORMAL CITY. Its the equivilant of covering the walls with rotating razor blades in your local Parkour hotspot.

And pretty much this. Why San Andreas wasn't left uninhabited after I played the game for three hours will always be a mystery to me...

 

[Regiment]

Prototype. If the military sees you do anything remotely suspicious (including bumping into too many Marines), they go all-out trying to kill you with no regard to how many pedestrians they're exploding. I'd love to compare pedestrian kills by Alex with pedestrian kills by the Army.

 

[Ryuzaki]

What is the most illogical video game logic you have ever encountered?

As an example i remember in resistance 2 the level where you escort a hydrogen bomb to the chimeran ship, it was on the hardest difficulty and i hid behind the bomb it took 10 minutes of constant pounding from countless bad guys and never even hinted exploding.

So whats your illogical video game logic moment?

Actually if the bomb isn't armed they can take quite a lot of punishment without exploding.
They would be designed to survive a plane crash without exploding and I know that most of the warheads on missiles are designed in such a way so that they do not arm themselves until the missile has reached full velocity. Whether a bomb like that could take such punishment and still function properly is another matter.

 

[No-Superman10]

Sniper Rifles are wildly inaccurate if you are not using the scope.

 

[Demons_Bane]

What is the most illogical video game logic you have ever encountered?

As an example i remember in resistance 2 the level where you escort a hydrogen bomb to the chimeran ship, it was on the hardest difficulty and i hid behind the bomb it took 10 minutes of constant pounding from countless bad guys and never even hinted exploding.

So whats your illogical video game logic moment?

Actually if the bomb isn't armed they can take quite a lot of punishment without exploding.
They would be designed to survive a plane crash without exploding and I know that most of the warheads on missiles are designed in such a way so that they do not arm themselves until the missile has reached full velocity. Whether a bomb like that could take such punishment and still function properly is another matter.

I was waiting for someone to inform me but i am pretty sure at the start of the mission they call it an armed warhead although it is set in the 1950's. I may be wrong but i doubt someone is going to be able to re sight the game off heart.

 

[Sir Kemper]

Picking up a Medical pack can instantly heal any wounds, shrapnal, broken bones, etc.

S'all good, a couple bandages, a few happy thoughts...

S'all good.

 

[Demons_Bane]

Prototype. If the military sees you do anything remotely suspicious (including bumping into too many Marines), they go all-out trying to kill you with no regard to how many pedestrians they're exploding. I'd love to compare pedestrian kills by Alex with pedestrian kills by the Army.

Too bad the only game where they had stat scoring like that of what i can remember was The Saboteur and i killed almost more civilians than the Nazi's at one stage.

 

[DigitalSushi]

Realistic FPS style games, especially in multiplayer such as Far Cry 2's domination mode where an capturing an oil drum is key to turning the tide of battle.

Or solder of fortunes realistic depiction of a PMC versus some guys in office workwear capturing each others flags.

 

[Wolfram23]

Here's one, from CBFD...

Some dung beetles needed poop, so naturally the only way to get it was to feed cows prune juice, giving them the screaming shits... but, obviously once they've emptied their bladders they need to be removed, and the only way to do that is to ram them with a bull and kill them.

Yep, makes perfect sense!

 

[Sir Kemper]

Picking up a Medical pack can instantly heal any wounds, shrapnal, broken bones, etc.

S'all good, a couple bandages, a few happy thoughts...

S'all good.

Replaced by "sucking your thumb in a corner for 5 seconds can heal near-mortal wounds" in the next generation.

I figuired somebody was going to say that at some point, so I thought I might as well just talk about the old ways.

Anyway, I always figured it was "Breath deeply in corner, stop bullet wounds."

 

[Dok Zombie]

I annoy my friends pointing this one out every time...

When you clear out a machine gun nest in any shooter, as soon as you walk past it, a horde of goons will coming running up from the direction you came from just so you can turn the MG on them. Were they following you this whole time and have only just caught up?

 

[Deadlock Radium]

Fall off building, get blood on face.

Or in MW2, strawberry jam.

Ontopic:
"Oh shit, somebody shot me in the stomack with a fucking .50 caliber SNIPER RIFLE! I'll just hide behind this wall until the damn hole in my stomach regenerates itself in 10 seconds..."

 

[No-Superman10]

Picking up a Medical pack can instantly heal any wounds, shrapnal, broken bones, etc.

S'all good, a couple bandages, a few happy thoughts...

S'all good.

Plasters. Heal. Everything.

O.T. You can pick up ammo/grenades/heslth with your feet.

 

[foxlovingfreak]

In Metal Gear Soild 3 you can eat a russain glow cap(glow in the dark mushroom) to recharge the batteries of all your electrical equiment. What makes it even funnier is that even the charecters withen the game aknowledge just how asine this logic is so it gets my vote.

 

[Enigmers]

Phoenix Downs only work if you're in a battle screen.

 

[Diligent]

If insane, illogical puzzles count... I got the worst one of all.

Gabriel Knight 3. In order to hire a scooter, Gabriel has to get a passport. Now in the real world there are many possibilities to solve this situation, such as get an emergency passport from the consulate, ask your partner to mail your passport to you, or just ask someone else to hire the thing for you. But no, let's use videogame logic:

1) steal a passport
2) draw a moustache on the passport (when you have none)
3) decide to use cat fur to get a fake moustache
4) get said cat fur by using sticky tape over a narrow hole, and chase the cat through it.


Most adventures have illogical puzzles, but to date the above is the most insane one of all I know of.

Awesome, I totally remember that. Sticking with those old Sierra games as the kings of broken logic, lets look at an excerpt from a walkthrough taken off gameFAQs.com of the first part of Phantasmagoria 2: A puzzle of flesh.

(Spoiler alert, I guess? If for some reason you were planning on playing this garbage)

Curtis' Apartment (Bedroom)
- Examine the nightstand to open the drawer.
- Pick up the GRANOLA BAR, PHOTOGRAPH OF PARENTS, and SCREWDRIVER.

Optional: Examine the mirror for a cutscene.

Curtis' Apartment (Hallway)
- Examine the mailbox to pick up TODAY'S MAIL.
- Examine the front door.

Curtis' Apartment (Living Room)
- Use TODAY'S MAIL on CURTIS to obtain the SEXY POSTCARD.
- Pick up the CHRISTMAS PARTY PHOTO from the coffee table.
- Examine BLOB (the rat) in her rat cage to talk to her.
- Examine the couch to discover the WALLET.
- Pick up BLOB from her rat cage.
- Use BLOB on the couch to retrieve the WALLET.
- Use the GRANOLA BAR on the couch to obtain BLOB and the WALLET.
- Use BLOB on the rat cage to return her.

So instead of reaching under your couch do grab your wallet, you must use your pet rat to go under the sofa and get it for you and lure it out with a granola bar that you find in your nightstand. Brilliant!

 

[Drakmeire]

double jumping... just double jumping
I guess in one of the spider man video games there was at least a joke made about this "sure it breaks the laws of physics but so does a lot of stuff I do"