Yeah I'm in that position right now because I'm wicked close with my friend and it doesn't make it any easier that no one knows and the girl is kinda wierd in that she is a very physical person so she hugs me all the time.
Wanting another guy's girl
- Thread starter Griffolion
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My advice, get off it.Zahri said:
Chicks will dig the extra attention and may even encourage it. But if she's with another dude, it's for a reason: SHE LIKES HIM.
OP: Don't be a chump. Get another chick asap and lessen contact with this other one, you're just torturing yourself; and trust me, she'ss know you like her. Girls can pick up on that stuff (unless you're void of showing emotion in front of her).
Well, there's this one guy who was hitting really hard on my girlfriend... And then we started dating. And then she told me about it, but hes cool (I geuss, haven't met him). And I thinkn they're still friends.
I can honestly say I've never seen in this situation, but I have had someone who's felt like this to me.
I bet it's not nice at all, and I'm glad you're not willing to fuck up with they have and what you have with both of them.
I hope you start to like someone else, instead, who you have a shot with, soon.
I bet it's not nice at all, and I'm glad you're not willing to fuck up with they have and what you have with both of them.
I hope you start to like someone else, instead, who you have a shot with, soon.
These situations should always be delt with the saying "bros before hoes".
Never happened to me.
Never happened to me.
You shouldn't have a problem explaining why you act cold, I certainly don't, simple fact is when you find someone attractive infatuation sneaks in eventually, keeping distance is a surefire way to prevent it.Griffolion said:
Being nice... damn that goes bad, every single time for me.
I'm going to start this off by saying something that I hope you already know.Griffolion said:
You only have such strong feelings because she's with him. If you don't believe me, wait until you've moved on and come back here and tell me I was wrong.
If you still want to go for her just consistently be yourself around both of them, and if it turns out she likes you more she should leave him and come to you. At the very least she will make some sort of move. Then you have to make sure of two things. 1. that they have ended their relationship, and 2. that it's okay with your friend that you date her.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you're in high school, or at least in an enclosed environment (small town/ small college campus) where you haven't really met anyone else who "strikes your fancy". But think of it this way, your friend found this girl, so what's the better outcome... one of you constantly in distress because you want to be with her, or one of you being ballsy and finding another awesome chick.
Trust me, no matter how much you might like her, there's probably a couple thousand better girls for you in your state alone. And if they aren't EXACTLY what you're looking for, just remember people are malleable when you use the hammer of love... (God damn that was the gayest thing I've ever said).
I can only see this as being your face when you sleep with her...PurpleLemur said:
Anyways, never been in that situation because well....I just don't want anyone.
No, it's fine - I wouldn't have posted it on an internet forum if I wasn't comfortable talking about it.ProtoChimp said:
And yes, this was about ten years ago now. The two of them dated for a while, but then broke up (he dumped her). I, in a moment I'm not particularly proud of, dumped the guy I dated while they were together, and (since he no longer had any virginity to save) I made another play for him.
We were actually together for a little while, but, well, he was kind of an asshole. So we broke up.
My female friend was upset when I was dating him, but when she saw him do the same thing to me that he did to her, she forgave me. We've been friends since. We actually used to hang out with him, but after we all graduated we didn't stay in touch with him.
What does this have to do with fish? How is this supposed to help this man's predicament?Skoldpadda said:
Remember kids, all posts should be served with a heaping helping of sarcasm!
I have just got off this boat myself and believe me, it's not a pretty ride whichever way you look at it.
Here are the outcomes if you try to 'win' someone who is in a happy relationship:
a) You fail miserably. This is the most likely outcome as she is not going to want to leave a good relationship for anyone else. Would you leave someone you were in love with and happy to be with? It will also cause tension between you all and likely lead to you being phased out of their lives, meaning you will lose any future opportunity.
b) You manage to break them up, but she thinks it will be 'too weird' going out with his best friend as awkwardness would ensue. She ends up disappearing from both of your lives.
c) You break them up and she goes out with you for a while. Shortly the spell wears off when the guy begs her to come back and she pities him. She hopes you will still 'be friends' but of course it will not work out that way. You will never be able to speak to the guy again and their relationship will end destructively down the line - something she will blame you for. <-- Speaking from experience
d) The Happy outcome: She leaves her boyfriend for you, telling you how much happier you make her and how she is glad she made the choice to pick you over him.
but...
you will never be able to quell the niggling doubt that if she was so happy with him, how did she leave him so easily? Does that mean she is a liar/cheat and therefore might she do the same to you? The fact you 'stole' her in the first place implies you approve of this sort of behaviour, and lets face it - you won't have a leg to stand on if some guy does to you exactly as you did to your friend. Perhaps she will never betray you like she did to her previous lover...but...how do you know that?
In short, even the happy ending is likely to lead to paranoia in the long run. I am not saying you shouldn't want her, but you should genuinely try to work out what's best for her. If you honestly believe you would make her happier than your friend and you have no qualms working against him, then you will have to do the rather underhand thing of sabotaging their relationship with a few well-placed words and suggestions.
After she has become single (quite a while after if you want to retain the guy's friendship), you can start to confess your feelings for her (gently does it, don't let her know the true depths of your obsession until much later). Most importantly of all: no-one but the escapist should know of your dastardly plot as it is sneaky and underhand.
Failing all that? Just wait and see what happens. If they break up naturally then by all means pounce. If not, then it is harmless to feel the way you do - just never never never admit it to her, especially not while drunk and crying at some party...!
PS - This all comes from bitter experience. The first *and last* time I try to do something underhand. It's not very...me! Liked a girl. She was in a relationship but she liked me too. Pounced far too early and ended up messing up the whole thing. Now they're back together (although constantly arguing) and I never see her.
...Bugger...!
Here are the outcomes if you try to 'win' someone who is in a happy relationship:
a) You fail miserably. This is the most likely outcome as she is not going to want to leave a good relationship for anyone else. Would you leave someone you were in love with and happy to be with? It will also cause tension between you all and likely lead to you being phased out of their lives, meaning you will lose any future opportunity.
b) You manage to break them up, but she thinks it will be 'too weird' going out with his best friend as awkwardness would ensue. She ends up disappearing from both of your lives.
c) You break them up and she goes out with you for a while. Shortly the spell wears off when the guy begs her to come back and she pities him. She hopes you will still 'be friends' but of course it will not work out that way. You will never be able to speak to the guy again and their relationship will end destructively down the line - something she will blame you for. <-- Speaking from experience
d) The Happy outcome: She leaves her boyfriend for you, telling you how much happier you make her and how she is glad she made the choice to pick you over him.
but...
you will never be able to quell the niggling doubt that if she was so happy with him, how did she leave him so easily? Does that mean she is a liar/cheat and therefore might she do the same to you? The fact you 'stole' her in the first place implies you approve of this sort of behaviour, and lets face it - you won't have a leg to stand on if some guy does to you exactly as you did to your friend. Perhaps she will never betray you like she did to her previous lover...but...how do you know that?
In short, even the happy ending is likely to lead to paranoia in the long run. I am not saying you shouldn't want her, but you should genuinely try to work out what's best for her. If you honestly believe you would make her happier than your friend and you have no qualms working against him, then you will have to do the rather underhand thing of sabotaging their relationship with a few well-placed words and suggestions.
After she has become single (quite a while after if you want to retain the guy's friendship), you can start to confess your feelings for her (gently does it, don't let her know the true depths of your obsession until much later). Most importantly of all: no-one but the escapist should know of your dastardly plot as it is sneaky and underhand.
Failing all that? Just wait and see what happens. If they break up naturally then by all means pounce. If not, then it is harmless to feel the way you do - just never never never admit it to her, especially not while drunk and crying at some party...!
Don't try to steal someone's girlfriend from under their feet, especially a friend. Not to debate the moral issues, but merely the practical one. It is almost certainly going to end in tears, and some of them will probably be yours.
If you absolutely must be a bastard, then be careful of what comes of dissuading your girlfriend that loyalty is a desirable attribute
If you absolutely must be a bastard, then be careful of what comes of dissuading your girlfriend that loyalty is a desirable attribute
PS - This all comes from bitter experience. The first *and last* time I try to do something underhand. It's not very...me! Liked a girl. She was in a relationship but she liked me too. Pounced far too early and ended up messing up the whole thing. Now they're back together (although constantly arguing) and I never see her.
...Bugger...!
I'm aware of the concept, I'm simply stating that in the constant war between spending time with your friends or spending time with someone who's having sex with you, the member of the opposite gender always wins. Unless your friend is a person of the opposite gender that you care about MORE than the person you're sleeping with.bahumat42 said:
Example: My girlfriend's best friend is practically her sister, then she met me and she and her friend stopped talking for months.
So while it's based on sound logic and people SHOULD obey it, people don't.
Yeh well im a restrained person, i wouldent attack people for petty resons. But seriously if you have a girl you actualy really care about stolen from you and you dont want to cause pain to the person that was responsible. Your not a bloody human, you obviously dont know what its like.bringer of illumination said:
Cheating can really mess a person up, cause just as much mental pain as the physical pain of a beating. It could potentialy mess with a persons confidence or self esteem and leave them socialy crippled.
In my opinion that deserves a punishment but the law wouldent do anything about it so whats there left to do but take it into your own hands?
But dont get me wrong if the girls a slag or the boyfriend was a dick to her then forget about it.