Wanting another guy's girl

[ProtoChimp]

**snip**

Good lord that is so sad ;( I hope when you said former misery you mean it's better now, Fuck... you know what never mind I need to stop prying into people's private lives, I'm being rude.

No, it's fine - I wouldn't have posted it on an internet forum if I wasn't comfortable talking about it.

And yes, this was about ten years ago now. The two of them dated for a while, but then broke up (he dumped her). I, in a moment I'm not particularly proud of, dumped the guy I dated while they were together, and (since he no longer had any virginity to save) I made another play for him.

We were actually together for a little while, but, well, he was kind of an asshole. So we broke up.

My female friend was upset when I was dating him, but when she saw him do the same thing to me that he did to her, she forgave me. We've been friends since. We actually used to hang out with him, but after we all graduated we didn't stay in touch with him.

Wow, no offence but that just seemed so woobie-ish. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheWoobie] It sounds like you needed a giant teddy bear to hug all it out. And your profile picture doesn't help.

 

[trooper6]

Now for the other side of the story, the "I'm a scumbag" part of the story. My mother's had another piece of advice (besides don't date violent people). That was this: If they person you are dating tells you they are an asshole/scumbag/*****, believe them, and then don't date them.

So all three of y'all (Bringer of Illumination, Maker of Roads, and bulbasaur) are not allowed to date my sister.

Well if i was trying to get your sister, i wouldn't exactly tell her that i'm a scumbag now would i?

Here on the webs, my words are without consequence, they are not in the real world.

This is the same reason i haven't told my friend that i made out with his girl while she was still you know, his girl.

So watch out. Maybe in a week your sister will bring a new boyfriend home, and maybe that will be me. You'll never ever know.

I'd never know? *shakes fist to the camera on a crane above me in a dramatic fashion* "Noooooooooo!"

Yeh well im a restrained person, i wouldent attack people for petty resons. But seriously if you have a girl you actualy really care about stolen from you and you dont want to cause pain to the person that was responsible. Your not a bloody human, you obviously dont know what its like.
Cheating can really mess a person up, cause just as much mental pain as the physical pain of a beating. It could potentialy mess with a persons confidence or self esteem and leave them socialy crippled.
In my opinion that deserves a punishment but the law wouldent do anything about it so whats there left to do but take it into your own hands?
But dont get me wrong if the girls a slag or the boyfriend was a dick to her then forget about it.

I've been cheated on and screwed over in some pretty jacked up ways, let me tell you. I mean, this one girl was dating myself and two other people though none of us new it and made us all look like fools. Not pretty. But here's the thing. I'm not an animal. I can control my actions. I'm not going to get all violent and use some excuse that I couldn't control myself...because that isn't going to fly when the police come knocking and I value my life, freedom, and career more than that. I'm not going to give those things over to a girl who was clearly not worth it. I'm not even a pushover. I know what it is like, I am human--and being human (and well adjusted) means being able to control oneself.

 

[Klopy]

I'm in that boat.

Best I can do is be close friends with her. She's dating a guy in college, who she met three years ago(We're seniors now.) All three of us met at the same time. He stepped up quicker than me and asked her out. Drat. At least we still go to movies etc. in each others company.

I really enjoy the friendship we share, and I'm glad that I'm able to have it with her. Recently, I've been happy with it and let the whole 'pining for her' thing go.

And... At least I'll always know that I'll be there for a rebound if that ever happens. MUAHAHA

 

[Droppa Deuce]

On that boat right now. =(

My advice, get off it.

Chicks will dig the extra attention and may even encourage it. But if she's with another dude, it's for a reason: SHE LIKES HIM.

OP: Don't be a chump. Get another chick asap and lessen contact with this other one, you're just torturing yourself; and trust me, she'ss know you like her. Girls can pick up on that stuff (unless you're void of showing emotion in front of her).

Haven't read all 5 pages but here's my advice...

1) Forget it, honest she isn't worth destroying a friendship
2) Even if they break up, see #1
3) If you ignore #1 and #2 and manage to get her, remember that she was willing to flirt with you and/or cheat with you and/or leave another guy for you. You aren't that special, that means she likes new guy attention, she will do it to you too.

Y'all are just buzzkills, as long as you work it smooth and don't fuck it up, it can be totally worth it.

Just because a girl is willing to leave a guy she's with now for another guy, that doesn't make her a slut that will jump on any new man that comes along.

Not a buzzkill brah, in fact, I want OP to go out and have a great time...I just don;t want him to torture himself over this chick who's already taken. The best thing to do is move on, and keep buzzing by seeing other chicks!

This is where the dreaded "Nice Guy" debate rears its ugly head again. If you're a nice guy, you're either one of two things:

1) A Wisher-Watcher: i.e. someone who spends weeks, months and maybe years wishing for and watching a girl he likes. He does this either because he hasn't developed the social skills to approach her, or because she's momentarily* unavailable.

2) A brother: the dude who's "like a brother" to the chick he likes. He never gets any, girls don't often date their brothers.


* I say momentarily because I guarantee that she'll be available one day. And she'll want to hang with OP if she sees he has been active with other chicks in the meanwhile. If he's been single and lingering around like a bad smell, the moment he tries to get in there --> REJECTED.

"Sorry OP, you're just like a brother to me...but you're a really nice guy, any girl who gets you will be so lucky lol" and then we're back to square one.

Get out there and score with other girls brah.

 

[Tsunimo]

I was in that boat, but now she is single again, so I probably still won't try anything, cause im a puss like that

 

[Droppa Deuce]

I certainly hope I'm not the only one who is in this boat. There's a girl who I'm pretty much besotted with but she's been in a really long relationship with another guy that doesn't look like it will end any time soon.

Anyway, I'm good friends with this guy so I would never want those two to break up as they're really good together, but at the same time I really wish I was with her.

So have you guys ever had an experience like this / are experiencing this?

P.S - Girls, I know this can work the other way round too, it would be good to get your thoughts too.

Yeah, I've been there. Actually, I'll do you one better (or worse, whichever).

So, as probably everyone in the forums knows by now, I'm bi. Several years ago, there was this really really attractive girl in the theater department who I wanted really badly. We had wonderful chemestry, she was great to hang out with. So I asked her out. Turns out, she wasn't gay (or bi) and had no interest in me (but still wanted to be friends). I also had this male friend who I liked, (I was totally crushing on him), and I would flirt with him a lot, but he wasn't all that interested in me because he saw us as just friends and he wanted his first time to be with someone special who he was in love with. Fair enough.

So this girl, who I like, and this guy, who's my friend, who I like, meet each other through me - and start dating. And start sleeping together. I should mention that I was in a co-ed dorm, and his room was across the hall from mine, so when I went out to the bathroom or whatever I could HEAR them having sex when I walked past his room. This goes on for months - I got so frustrated that I started going out with this other guy who I had no real interest in (he asked me out, so I figured what the hell) just so I could have a distraction.

So not only were two of my friends dating, and not only did I want to date both of them, but I'm the one who accidently introduced them to one another and got them to start dating in the first place. Cue the Alanis.

Anyway, yeah, that situation always sucks. My heart goes out to you - and hopefully my former misery will make you feel slightly better due to the schedenfreuda (sorry, can't spell german words worth crap).

DROP A DEUCE!

That...that's kinda hot (._.)

 

[Grabbin Keelz]

I can name about four or five girls who say they like me but have a boyfriend. What can you do but keep looking.

 

[Ham_authority95]

Hey everyone,

I certainly hope I'm not the only one who is in this boat. There's a girl who I'm pretty much besotted with but she's been in a really long relationship with another guy that doesn't look like it will end any time soon.

Anyway, I'm good friends with this guy so I would never want those two to break up as they're really good together, but at the same time I really wish I was with her.

So have you guys ever had an experience like this / are experiencing this?

P.S - Girls, I know this can work the other way round too, it would be good to get your thoughts too.

I have in the past, but its made me learn to just forget about the two of them and start looking for someone new.

 

[Hellz_Barz]

This entire thread just makes me wanna start singing naughty by natures o.p.p
ya down with o.p.p? yeah you know me

Spose I go through this whenever I see that one girl that got away. Spent most of the last year blocking her out of my thoughts then all of a sudden she comes back into contact. Manage to block her out a again and then a friend reminds me how bad I wanted her and all the crap I would do for her attention.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

My sad story. **snip**

Wow, no offence but that just seemed so woobie-ish. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheWoobie] It sounds like you needed a giant teddy bear to hug all it out. And your profile picture doesn't help.

Really? I thought it was nice that, in the end, we both realized he was a jerk and stayed friends.

Also, was not aware of "the woobie" - learned something new today.

But, well, that is like the worst I've ever felt about a relationship, so I thought it would help the OP know that there are people who understand his pain and have been through similar and have come out okay.

As to the profile pic - is it because you know the sad story of Kaorin (the character in said pic)? Cause, on the surface, the pic features a young lesbian in a cat suit kissing the fingers of the girl she has a crush on (or at least fake biting them). I picked it as sort of sexy/funny, and because Kaorin is my favorite character from Azumanga Daioh.

 

[alimarin]

All my friends that are girls that I imagine being with are all taken as well... :/

Damn teenagers... Never are with the right people in any sense of the statement.

 

[Astoria]

I've never been in this situation but at a time my best friend liked my boyfriend and it was kinda awkward for a little while. She got over it though and everything better than ever between us. Just try and find someone new, best friends come first in these types of situations.

 

[Scarecrow]

*sigh*

 

[Griffolion]

Hey everyone,

I certainly hope I'm not the only one who is in this boat. There's a girl who I'm pretty much besotted with but she's been in a really long relationship with another guy that doesn't look like it will end any time soon.

Anyway, I'm good friends with this guy so I would never want those two to break up as they're really good together, but at the same time I really wish I was with her.

So have you guys ever had an experience like this / are experiencing this?

P.S - Girls, I know this can work the other way round too, it would be good to get your thoughts too.

I'm going to start this off by saying something that I hope you already know.

You only have such strong feelings because she's with him. If you don't believe me, wait until you've moved on and come back here and tell me I was wrong.

If you still want to go for her just consistently be yourself around both of them, and if it turns out she likes you more she should leave him and come to you. At the very least she will make some sort of move. Then you have to make sure of two things. 1. that they have ended their relationship, and 2. that it's okay with your friend that you date her.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you're in high school, or at least in an enclosed environment (small town/ small college campus) where you haven't really met anyone else who "strikes your fancy". But think of it this way, your friend found this girl, so what's the better outcome... one of you constantly in distress because you want to be with her, or one of you being ballsy and finding another awesome chick.

Trust me, no matter how much you might like her, there's probably a couple thousand better girls for you in your state alone. And if they aren't EXACTLY what you're looking for, just remember people are malleable when you use the hammer of love... (God damn that was the gayest thing I've ever said).

Actually no I'm 22, that's bad enough right?

While not necessarily in an enclosed environment, I probably don't really put myself out there as much as I should.

But i see what you're saying.

 

[Griffolion]

Btw i didn't realise how big this topic would be, but thanks for all your comments .

 

[Vault Citizen]

I was in this boat. I used to really like my best friend but she was with another guy. I say was because eventually she left him, we got together a few months later and now we're engaged .

 

[TomLikesGuitar]

Hey everyone,

I certainly hope I'm not the only one who is in this boat. There's a girl who I'm pretty much besotted with but she's been in a really long relationship with another guy that doesn't look like it will end any time soon.

Anyway, I'm good friends with this guy so I would never want those two to break up as they're really good together, but at the same time I really wish I was with her.

So have you guys ever had an experience like this / are experiencing this?

P.S - Girls, I know this can work the other way round too, it would be good to get your thoughts too.

I'm going to start this off by saying something that I hope you already know.

You only have such strong feelings because she's with him. If you don't believe me, wait until you've moved on and come back here and tell me I was wrong.

If you still want to go for her just consistently be yourself around both of them, and if it turns out she likes you more she should leave him and come to you. At the very least she will make some sort of move. Then you have to make sure of two things. 1. that they have ended their relationship, and 2. that it's okay with your friend that you date her.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you're in high school, or at least in an enclosed environment (small town/ small college campus) where you haven't really met anyone else who "strikes your fancy". But think of it this way, your friend found this girl, so what's the better outcome... one of you constantly in distress because you want to be with her, or one of you being ballsy and finding another awesome chick.

Trust me, no matter how much you might like her, there's probably a couple thousand better girls for you in your state alone. And if they aren't EXACTLY what you're looking for, just remember people are malleable when you use the hammer of love... (God damn that was the gayest thing I've ever said).

Actually no I'm 22, that's bad enough right?

While not necessarily in an enclosed environment, I probably don't really put myself out there as much as I should.

But i see what you're saying.

Just know that last year I was in the same boat. Eventually, I found a girl who was exactly like my best friends girl, and it was honestly the worst relationship I've ever been in.

 

[Griffolion]

Yeah i've been in a relationship like that where, beforehand, i saw her as perfect and it turned out to be the most horrible relationship i've had. *****.

But i've decided to just be as good a friend as i can to her. A lot of people have talked about sex and things but it isn't about that with me, i just feel like we could be deeply connected spiritually more than anything.

And still, being her friend means i get to see her lovely smile so that's a win in itself.

Thanks gaiz!

 

[ApeShapeDeity]

Oh, dude. I feel your pain. I've been there.

I know this won't sink in 'till after this whole thing is resolved but I'll say it anyway...

Don't do this to yourself. Pain is never fun and that's all there is in this for you. You're going to run a very real risk of fucking things up for yourself.

Again, I know this probably won't help much (yet) but, when you love someone, just let them be happy. Infatuations will come and go. What's more if you don't learn to keep them in check, sooner or later, you'll do something to udermine, or worse destroy an otherwise happy relationship (other peoples and your own).

Ahh, well. On the bright side, being good friends with great women means you get to meet awesome women they're friends with. Don't underestimate it. It's a serious perk!