Warning: Stupid relation shit

[D34DW1NG]

My boyfriend recently broke up with me about two weeks ago because of private reasons. One week later, we talked and it seemed he missed me and regretted breaking up. So we got back together. I didn't mind because I'm a pussy and I would never deny him. So he went to my house last Friday, we had an awesome time, he lend me his bass (which I still have), everything was the same as before. Today, I went to his house again for the first time after our breakup, and his mom seemed a bit annoyed we got back together. So I went back home after staying several hours, and later on my boyfriend came on msn and told me his parents don't want him to be with me anymore, I'm not even sure why. I've never been so broken, feel like my heart is ripped out, for the second time. What should I do? Should I let it go? Talk with his parents?

 

[joe the janitor]

Is this the kinda relationship where you obey anything he says? Because it kinda sounds like that, and that's not healthy...
I'm kinda just spitballing here but maybe he is using his parents as an excuse. If he really likes you why would he care what his parents think? Of course I have no idea what his parents are like. Try confronting him about this.

 

[zombiesinc]

I've never been so broken, feel like my heart is ripped out, for the second time. What should I do? Should I let it go? Talk with his parents?

Honestly, I think he should be the one to deal with his parents. If he chooses to allow them to dictate who he dates, it says a lot about how he feels about your relationship together. He may care about you, and want to be with you, but (it seems) not enough to ignore his parents. That hurts, but in the long run, it's a very good reason to try and accept the reality, and start to move on. I would suggest talking to him and trying to find out if it's something he actually wants, just to clarify things. From there, assuming you two don't get back together (I'd advise against a third try anyway), you need to start moving on.

It seems you're quite aware and seemingly okay with the knowledge that you'll do anything for him, or put up with anything, and that's not healthy. Everyone needs their limits, and lines. If you allow the other person in a relationship to do as they please, while you're always saying 'yes' and 'okay' this person may very well start to use that to get what they want, generally unfairly so. A relationship consists of compromise and understanding from both parties. Each party needs to give a little, while also knowing when to put down their foot down. It's unhealthy to rely on someone or care for someone to an extent in which you'd always bend over backward for 'em, without question or considerating toward what's fair and actually okay.

 

[rutger5000]

I say this on many forums but I'll say it again.
Having more information really helps other people to understand the problem. Now most people can guess that you're most likely female, around the age of 16 and assume that this is your first boyfriend. This is all relevant information, but it might very well all be false.
Further more the reason why you broke up is deciding factor in what the direction the advice would go. Now I understand that you want to keep stuff like that private. But I think you should learn to trust strangers more. Especially if you're protected by anonymousness.
Now I'm going to assume that you're female, around the age of 16, that this is your first/one of your first boyfriends, and that you broke up over something silly.
Now I know this sounds really cold and all. But those feelings are most likely your hormones talking, and you'll forget about them when you have your next crush. Trust me you'll get over it.
From what you told I think that this relationship is a tad unhealthy, you said yourself that you would never deny him and that's a bad thing regardless of your age/sex. It's not abnormal for 16 year old girls though, and having a few bad relationships might teach you something. Just don't make a habit of it, and remember always use a rubber regardless of what the guy says (NEVER CAVE IN ABOUT THIS).
Other then that I think the guy is kind of a douche. Just breaking up because your mom says so? And especially over the internet? That sound pretty week to me.
My advice is to just forget about him. Maybe chat about him with your friends during a slumber-party or something. But that's pretty much it. The guy doesn't seem worth any trouble to me.

 

[D34DW1NG]

I say this on many forums but I'll say it again.
Having more information really helps other people to understand the problem. Now most people can guess that you're most likely female, around the age of 16 and assume that this is your first boyfriend. This is all relevant information, but it might very well all be false.
Further more the reason why you broke up is deciding factor in what the direction the advice would go. Now I understand that you want to keep stuff like that private. But I think you should learn to trust strangers more. Especially if you're protected by anonymousness.
Now I'm going to assume that you're female, around the age of 16, that this is your first/one of your first boyfriends, and that you broke up over something silly.
Now I know this sounds really cold and all. But those feelings are most likely your hormones talking, and you'll forget about them when you have your next crush. Trust me you'll get over it.
From what you told I think that this relationship is a tad unhealthy, you said yourself that you would never deny him and that's a bad thing regardless of your age/sex. It's not abnormal for 16 year old girls though, and having a few bad relationships might teach you something. Just don't make a habit of it, and remember always use a rubber regardless of what the guy says (NEVER CAVE IN ABOUT THIS).
Other then that I think the guy is kind of a douche. Just breaking up because your mom says so? And especially over the internet? That sound pretty week to me.
My advice is to just forget about him. Maybe chat about him with your friends during a slumber-party or something. But that's pretty much it. The guy doesn't seem worth any trouble to me.

I'm 14, and this is my second serious relationship (but in the first one I broke up with him). I've been told earlier that it's not healthy to be in a relationship where I'd do anything for him, and I know it is, but he loved me too and didn't use me, I'm pretty certain of that. Also, he grew up always listening to his parents, because they let him do anything, any drugs, any party, that's why he can't go against them. They think he should stick with his first decision and he doesn't dare to say anything about it.

 

[rutger5000]

Around that age your kind of relationship is not uncommon at all, and I think you should not fret about it much. (He's not older then 17 right? If he's older then it's unhealthy.)
His behavior isn't that weird either, too be honest I wouldn't expect different from a +/- 15 year old.
My advice changes a little. The guy doesn't really sound all that bad to me anymore, but I don't think he is what you need right now. Try to get over your feelings and just go through puberty for a while. You'll both chance drastically, maybe you won't even like each other anymore afterwards. If the feelings return after a year or two (or if they never left) then maybe you could try again. But don't put all your eggs in that basket, it can turn out badly.
It sounds rather cold I know, but I think it's the best you could do.

 

[D34DW1NG]

Oh well, that was awful. He went here to pick up his bass, didn't look at me, just said 'Good luck with your life' and he was gone. I feel terrible, but I guess I'll have to let him go.

 

[Nerdygamer89]

I feel terrible, but I guess I'll have to let him go.

Yep, good attitude to have. It never seems like it when it first happens, but the pain you feel after a breakup will pass, I promise. My advice is to keep looking forward. In school? Concentrate on getting good grades, hang out with your friends, do things that you don't automatically associate with him. Before you know it you'll look back and say to yourself "shit, that was pretty bad, but I got through it" and you'll be better for the experience.

It can't drag you down if you don't let it.

 

[TonyVonTonyus]

Reason with him. Ask him if he's only doing it because his parents don't like you and if so why is he letting them tell him what to do. This isn't even really going for men exclusively. People are very influenciable and often do what others tell them.

 

[joe the janitor]

Oh well, that was awful. He went here to pick up his bass, didn't look at me, just said 'Good luck with your life' and he was gone. I feel terrible, but I guess I'll have to let him go.

Wow... That's cold Well, you'll get over him, don't frett too much!

 

[Mr S]

Oh well, that was awful. He went here to pick up his bass, didn't look at me, just said 'Good luck with your life' and he was gone. I feel terrible, but I guess I'll have to let him go.

I hope you'll find a nice guy, and yes you have to let him go.
He's a jerk who can't confront his parents.
At some points that's okay, but when it comes to love... That's not good.
You're better off without him baby.

 

[melibojangles]

You are so young! You should not be tied down to one person right now anyway. Enjoy yourself. Explore who you are. Have fun!

 

[lemiel14n3]

yeah, I agree with most of the people here. This may sound a bit callus, but it sounds like he's using his parents as an excuse. If he loved you, he'd be with you, regardless of what his parents told him to do.

I mean there may be an element of fear of commitment here, but you know the old saying "love conquers all"

the best thing I can tell you to do is move on, I know this may be a bit harder for women to accept as readily as men do (yeah, that may be sexist, but stereotypes exist for a reason) But there are other fish in the sea. One man does not make the world go round, you'll find someone else, and further platitudes.