Ways to tell a movie of any genre is going to be bad?

[dontworryaboutit]

If it's a "comedy" and has Owen Wilson or Will Ferrel in it.

Wrong.

If it's any genre and has Keanu Reeves on the poster.

Good:

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
The Replacements
The Matrix

Possibly depending on your opinions:

Johnny Mnemonic
The Devil's Advocate
Constantine
B&T's and the matrix sequels.

Personally I would say anything directed by Uwe Boll is doomed to suck, and should it be a video game based movie it can only be worse.

I actually really liked that film, but apparently I'm the only one.

Edit: WAIT! That dude a couple posts up liked it. Sweet.

 

[manaman]

If it's a "comedy" and has Owen Wilson or Will Ferrel in it.

Wrong.

If it's any genre and has Keanu Reeves on the poster.

Good:

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
The Replacements
The Matrix

Possibly depending on your opinions:

Johnny Mnemonic
The Devil's Advocate
Constantine
B&T's and the matrix sequels.

Personally I would say anything directed by Uwe Boll is doomed to suck, and should it be a video game based movie it can only be worse.

I actually really liked that film, but apparently I'm the only one.

Edit: WAIT! That dude a couple posts up liked it. Sweet.

I liked it as well. I liked all of those movies. Then again I liked the Transformers movie, so my taste might amount to heresy.

 

[dontworryaboutit]

If it's a "comedy" and has Owen Wilson or Will Ferrel in it.

Wrong.

If it's any genre and has Keanu Reeves on the poster.

Good:

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
The Replacements
The Matrix

Possibly depending on your opinions:

Johnny Mnemonic
The Devil's Advocate
Constantine
B&T's and the matrix sequels.

Personally I would say anything directed by Uwe Boll is doomed to suck, and should it be a video game based movie it can only be worse.

I actually really liked that film, but apparently I'm the only one.

Edit: WAIT! That dude a couple posts up liked it. Sweet.

I liked it as well. I liked all of those movies. Then again I liked the Transformers movie, so my taste might amount to heresy.

Transformers for life.

 

[Pseudonym2]

If it wasn't screened for critics. That's never a good sign.

 

[Altorin]

I've watched a lot of movies lately, and the only one that was unequivocally bad was Max Payne

 

[AyaReiko]

Anything starring any of the Wayans family (excluding I'm Gonna Get You Sucka)

 

[Knight Templar]

I've watched a lot of movies lately, and the only one that was unequivocally bad was Max Payne

I liked that movie, is it because I had never really heard of the games?

 

[Paperplanes79]

american adaptation of a japanese horror movie.

cast include Mark Wahlberg.

Have you seen The Departed!?!?!?!?!
but i agree on just about any other movie

But if it's extremely over marketed a.k.a. Land of the Lost will be bad

and G.I. Joe looks absolutely horrendous.

 

[Frosk]

I've watched a lot of movies lately, and the only one that was unequivocally bad was Max Payne

I liked that movie, is it because I had never really heard of the games?

That describes how I went into "Silent Hill." I had no idea that movie was based on a game until I got out of the theater. And before you jump on me, I don't and will never own a ps2 so keeping up with games for it would be pointless. At the time, I had bigger fish to fry than a game.

 

[goatzilla8463]

All the films I've seen recently have been crap so I've kind of given up hope that humanity could make a good new film.

I'm so deprived of happiness.

 

[army-88]

If all of the reviews for it are from various unknown websites.
Also if the commercials/case boast about anything below a 4 star review.
And just by generally how stupid the movie looks, I mean you dont really need a long list of things to watch out for. If the movie looks unbelievably stupid, chances are it will be.

 

[Blow_Pop]

dance movies or movies about dancing or dance competitions

as a dancer, i fucking hate seeing the shit they "supposedly go through" for dance. I will give Save the Last Dance and Center Stage a few props for specific reasons:
StLD: doing pointe in ballet WILL fuck up your feet and give you blisters and cuts and everything
CS: If you are not anoerexic chances are you won't make it into a company.
"I dance for me not anyone else. I dance for happiness. I dance for sadness. I dance in times of stress or mental anguish no matter how severe. I dance for my own well being"- ME
"A day in which you have not danced at least once is lost"- Freidrich Nietzche

 

[jim_doki]

if it's a highlander film with a number after it

it stars a pro wrestler, or a former pro wrestler

its the fourth movie in a series

 

[manaman]

I've watched a lot of movies lately, and the only one that was unequivocally bad was Max Payne

I liked that movie, is it because I had never really heard of the games?

Nope I never played the game (did not really enjoy it) saw the movie and realized marky mark should never try playing a tough guy. He wasted what little badassery he had in the beginning of the movie. His crap performance culminated with the very non tough guy like temper tantrum throw of the phone in the high rise office (right before the crappy shootout scene).

 

[AngloDoom]

When the 'positive' reviews on the poster quote things such as "excessively gory!"

 

[demoman_chaos]

it stars a pro wrestler, or a former pro wrestler

Few exceptions include Rocky 3 (though Hulk Hogan wasn't a main character), No Hold's Barred (Hogan did ok in that one), Blade Trinity (HHH was good in that one), and most anything with the Rock in it.

Anything with John Cena in it it destined to be horrible, be it movies or anything on TV.

 

[RedVelvet]

Look at the director and the producers. Look at their previous films. Simple as that. And, of course, the trailer

 

[Stryc9]

When it has the words Sci-Fi Original before it, I have yet to see a Sci-Fi original movie that didn't suck due to an overused plot and horrible effects.

Almost any movie based on a book, they almost always get too much of it wrong. This was especially true of the third Harry Potter movie where they invented about half a movie that didn't happen in the book.

I'll go with the guy that mentioned movies with Will Farrel in them, if I wanted to watch a retard do something funny I'd go to my local Wal-Mart and hang around the front entrance, it doesn't cost anything and it's funnier.

Even though it's a quite ridiculous as far as some things go I quite liked Johnny Mnemonic, I have it on DVD.