Okay, so we all met Rugal. Preginald and the Star Wars dude went to 3-Mile Island for the nuclear fuel rods. Alek, Saito, Joel and Joe went to Iceland and Matt went to Calley Corp but did fuck all. Joel went to Massachusetts when they got attacked, then went to Cork to intercept Renlen who didn't trust him. He tried to detain Renlen but failed, then went to Japan instead. Rugal and Renlen arrived together, and Joel tried to intercept Renlen, but failed. His agents from Israel and Russia attacked Rugal, but he killed them. Joel then attacked Rugal with Miranda, went to the hotel with Matt and a pegasus.
Meanwhile, Mike and Swiftrunner went to Africa for blood diamonds, where Mike was wounded. Preginald went to New Zealand and set up Fort Arrowhead then picked up M&SR, then went to Iceland. Joe got the adamantium and escaped, then they went to the hotel in Tokyo. Joel was taken to the Library and got the plans for the Anti-Joel laser.
Kazuya attacked the hotel, then we argued and nearly shot each others brains out. Swiftrunner betrayed us. Reno and Rude showed up shortly after Joel pumped himself full of coke. Rugal's men attacked the hotel and we escaped.
We broke into the Mishima Corp HQ in Tokyo, Alek set off the self-destruct accidentally, and we escaped (Mike found Dromaeus and Renlen found the portal room).
Godzilla attacked, and we used Jumbo Joe and the Imperial Eagle to kill the fuck out of it (him? her?)
We met on the beach, Rude shot Alastair and we went to the island. Swiftrunner made a load of werewolves and we killed a load of soldiers. Joel sent Matt home and stole the plans for a portal. Dromaeus went to Sodegaura (a town near Tokyo) and met the Merc and Will Sherman. The rest (except Joel and Renlen) went there too. Renlen did some time travel and Joel did some crossdressing.
Joel sent the FBI in to arrest you, then went with you to a nearby B&B. He broke his bed with an agent, who set off a mine Joel placed. Then we took the bus to Arrowhead. Eragon arrived. Wellington got blown up and Jack Noir arrived. Then a Shinra tower in Australia (where Joe and Preginald think they met Miranda). Then Shanghai got bombed too. Then a town in Russia.
We went to the Uni where Artie teaches, and Alastair killed one student, was attacked by spies somehow, saved by a student dressed a bacon who he killed and cannibalised. Then Jack Noir and Mat Cauthon turned up. Alek left the universe.
Joel revealed himself as the corsetted woman, Will offered to buy clothes (which Joel stole $1000 of with a 100% tip offered). He fought Joe. Then he killed 5 people and we drove away. We stopped in a field, Will got mad and Joel caused him to shoot someone through Joelery and deceit. Then he started a fire (Foley turned up).
We went to New York, and Joe cannoned himself there from the university. He ate a load of food and Preginald met him. The rest of us went to the police station where shit ensued, Sofia nearly died and the Merc did die. Dromaeus and Eragon killed Alpha. There was a shootout.
Y'all chased Joel around, and Joe went to save a candy shop. The others went to a warehouse, and had a fight with an actor, Reno and Rude and a Phoenix. Then they found Ezio, went to a block of flats which exploded because booby traps.
Then they went to a coffee shop, which got raided by the police. All the power went out because Joel used the grid to power his portal. Then you sat around.
Joe got onto Air Force One, and was about to have a chat with Obama when he got shot to death by Gamma. Then they went to look at the Director of Defence's corpse. The Myrdraal showed up, as did Preginald. Fight scene. Gamma had put a tracker on Joe, so they followed him to Central Park. They contacted Shepard and talked for a while.
Russians attacked, the the Myrdraal attacked and we ran away to a field. Then we went to the Moon, got attacked by batarians and Eldar. We found Doc Sparkle's Tree Library, trashed it and saved Will and Joe. Back to the Future Earth we went.
Chaos attacked, and the Normandy got shot down. Then Upsilon called in a nuke (Will calls in a kinetic bombardment that would kill us all, and you got angry about this, which was a major, pre-established, plot point anyway?) Then we ran to Yonkers
Upsilon was nice to some refugee children, and Alastair attacked Kappa who fired an RPG at the camp. Alastair was interrogated nicely, then attacked us and tried to kill Upsilon. So we got angry. Shit escalated and Sofia died a little bit. Jaguar got annoyed, but Arrogancy pointed out that she hadn't (and still hasn't) done anything. At all. So we don't care. Kilo showed up.
Preginald's men attacked, and made a dome shortly after we ran like fuck. Will died, and we arrived in Scotland. The Deltas left, and Vincent arrived. We went to London and killed some Orks. Then for some reason we went to the US (I think to get the refugees).
Kilo tried to sabotage the Normandy, and Alastair nearly got blamed.
Vincent went to the Cork Dome and started talking to Preginald. Then a battle between the robots, the Eldar, Chaos and the rest. Joe killed Preginald in a duel with Shepard's Carnifex, and the Normandy left.
We hung out in a cottage, Alastair went to Tokyo, the Remnants turned up and everything got confusing. Then we went to Dublin, killed some dead people and then Flashpoints happened. Now we're in Germany.