Weirdest Injury You've Had

[Spambot 3000]

I once tripped over a tree root sticking out the ground whilst I was running very fast and faceplanted in some dirt/gravel stuff and graised nearly my whole face. Eventually, after it healed over, my face was 78% percent covered in scabs. Not the wierdest injury in history but I looked pretty freaky at the time.

 

[LevROLL]

I used to throw tantrums when I was a kid where I would jump into the air and stomp back onto the ground with one foot. That stopped pretty abruptly one day when I came down... and kept going. To this day, I have no idea what happened to my leg/knee, and won't point any conjecture toward it, but I ended up crawling around on the ground for two weeks during a summer vacation. Why don't I know what happened? Because neither my mother nor her jobless, drug-dealing boyfriend had the insurance to cover me.

 

[applesandoranges]

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[LiberalSquirrel]

Baby-me broke her arm taking a dramatic high dive off her height chair. (I was an adventurous, hyperactive kid. Afterwards, my mom had to tape my sling to whatever clothes I was wearing so I'd stop trying to fling my arm around.)

Most unusual injury I've had that isn't me being an incredibly air-headed baby is... well, about a year ago, I gave myself a second-degree burn baking brownies.

 

[eventhorizon525]

Cutting my face open on a round corner, then thinking it was just warm water on my forehead till I opened my eyes; yeah not my greatest moment (though it wasn't that bad, especially once the stitches were in).

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Typically I will get cuts on my hands and I have no idea how I get them, no blood will be drawn or anything, just a slight stinging feeling when it gets hits.

I remember one time, I had this bright idea to hop over my wall to get home from school after I got dropped off by the bus. Keep in mind I was ten, so it's not like I can use any sort of logic to explain what was going on. Thing is, I went over the wall where one of the bricks was loose, I fell into my yard in a Bogenvia. For those that don't know, it's a vengeful bastard of a bush with thorns, don't ever let it's colorfulness fool you.

So, because of that, I looked like I was attacked by an army of cats, nothing was seriously hurt, but I do sport this nice little scar near my belly button.

 

[JCBFGD]

I got it when I was pretty young. Apparently I though climbing over my bedroom furniture while naked was a good idea (kids do the craziest and most retarded things), slipped, and a sharp corner of a chest of drawers did a number on my man-parts.

I audibly groaned and am now sitting with my legs closed to protect my junk. My...my testicles actually hurt. Thanks.

OT: My gigantic (read: obese) friend bear-hugged me when I was eight and my back is relatively weak.

I also had a friend who was a year older than me jump on my back when I was thirteen. It was fine for a few hours, but when we ran outside to ring in the New Year (it was New Year, obviously), I collapsed, writhing on the ground in agony. So that was fun.

Oh, yeah, I also had ass surgery a few months back for a pilonidal cyst. Kinda-sorta not an injury, but appropriate enough for this thread, methinks. I bragged at school for a while about how I had an extra orifice. I am very immature.

 

[Dimitriov]

Hmmm... weird injuries:

1. When I was like a year old I leaped off my parents bed and cut my eyelid on a dresser. I had to get stitches on my eyelid (apparently I didn't fuss very much, but I certainly don't remember).

Also around that time I badly burnt my hand on a photographer's flash-bulb.

2.When I was around five years old I tripped while running and face planted on cement. I pretty much landed completely on my front tooth: it remained intact but apparently broke the nerve inside or something because the tooth slowly turned purple, died, and had to be pulled out.

3. Maybe a year after that I jumped off a sofa and landed with my mouth wide open on the plastic turret of a toy castle. I cut the back of my throat really badly and pretty much filled a sink with blood.

4. When I was around fourteen I was kind of play fighting in the woods with a friend. I kind of chased him backwards with a stick, and then he threw a small log at me. It hit me in the face and split my upper lip almost right through. I had to get seven stitches just on my upper lip, which seems like a lot to me for a cut that was only maybe 3/4cm long.

5. When I was working at a fast food place I dropped something back into a deep fryer by mistake (I think it was a piece of chicken) and reached my finger about 2 inches into the oil without thinking when I tried to grab it. Several layers of skin just kind of peeled off after that... :/ it was more annoying than anything though, so I wrapped it up and went back to work.

I think that's all the injuries I've had that I would call weird in some way.

Honorable mention for breaking my thumb (not a clean break, just a piece of the bone was broken off) without knowing how or when I did it. It was a little bit sore for a couple of weeks so I finally got an x-ray and found out it had been broken... no idea how.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Second degree burns on my foot after a bolt of lightning struck behind me and melted the rubber on my shoe, which burned through my sock and burned my foot.
yeah that doctor didnt believe it either until he saw the bottom of my shoe melted and my sock was blackened before seeing my foot burned. that was a shitty mile to walk.


Other then that, I had my shoulder deeply bruised when a car ran a red light and the mirror hit me while i was walking along a crosswalk.

 

[Kermi]

One time I was running to the bathroom after holding it for awhile because my mother had been taking ages in the shower. I skidded on the wet tiles and slammed foot first into the wall. I thought I'd broken my toe but the pain subsided.

A few days later my toe was hurting and itching like crazy... I inspected it and it turned out that a piece of the toenail of my big toe had broken off and lodged itself into my toe, partialy embedded and partially exposed, in a wound which had become rather distressingly infected and... oozey.

I removed the toenail fragment and it all cleared up, and so the toe lived happily ever after.

That's not THAT weird, but... it's all I got.

 

[Shockolate]

A few years ago, I woke up with a puncture wound one day on my arm near my elbow. After three days (I forgot it was there), I realized the wound hadn't healed.

I used to tweezers and found the stinger of.....something that's been in my arm for three days.

Even now, there's just a solid mass of what I can only assume is venom in my arm. I should probably get it checked out...

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

When I was little I ran head first into these giant mutant rosebushes my grandad grew (seriously they are like trees) A massive thorn went about an inch into my forehead and I had to have it removed at the hospital. I still have a ring of thorn scars around my head and an aversion to roses.

Also one day my mum left the iron on and it fell onto my leg, that hurt quite a bit. I had been told very strictly not to bother my grandma as she was upset about having a row with my grandad (the same one with the evil rosebushes -.-) and so I was sitting under the table with my leg all burned not making a sound. I was a very good child to the point of stupidity apparently.

 

[the_dancy_vagrant]

I sliced open my pinky finger with a steel wire scrubbing pad at a restaurant I worked at. Not like a brillo or a steel wool pad, these things were basically a wad of metal strips that (unbeknownst to me at the time) are incredibly good at removing food from dishes because they are only slightly less sharp than a razor blade. I didn't even know I'd hurt myself until my boss asked me why I had blood all over my arm and shirt. Turned out that none of the dishwashers would use them unless there was great need, and even then they would wear a pair of gloves made out of chainmail that were originally meant for use when operating a deli slicer.

 

[AstylahAthrys]

When I was 17 I dislocated my knee marching backwards during band camp. Our practice field was full of holes. Throughout the day my knee was getting more and more sore until the end of the day, where I collapsed on the side of the field in intense pain. It took 6 months for them to realize that my kneecap had moved half way out of the joint and I got surgery on it soon after. Turns out I have odd knees and tore a tendon or ligament that was keeping it in place, aka this could happen to my other one. Oh it was good times.

 

[paislyabmj]

i was cutting something with a rusty old penknife when it slipped and cut me to the bone just bellow my thumb.the strange part.i didnt realise for ages.i only realised about 1 minute later when the blood spilled out all over my shirt.still have the scar.

 

[Kyrian007]

I copied this from my reply to this thread http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.357671-Embarrassing-sex-related-stories?page=1 but it applies to both, so look away if you find the sex stuff inappropriate. Also sorry, too long.

Summer after my freshman year of college I reconnect with a girl I dumped in high school (because the crazy.) I changed and matured a lot over that year and I figured she deserved another chance. Plus, her dad was loaded, like 7 figure salary 3 story house on a golf course loaded.

Yeah, I can give her another chance.

Anyway she has a membership at some high dollar "executive" country club gym, and she asks me to go work out with her. Now other than a semester in my college's marching band and a weekly game of racquet ball I had adopted an almost physical activity free lifestyle. The last time I had even been in a gym was high school where I had been in football and track. I was a big, stocky muscular guy back then (lineman, and shot put) and while I had gotten totally out of shape freshman year, I still had quite a bit of muscle. The guys at the "rich" gym were a bunch of skinny nerdly and business types, making me look pretty badass (by comparison only) lifting weights. And I was being verrrrry stupid and showing off to make an impression. After the workout I showered while she spoke with a friend. She said she could shower at home, and so we went to her place. She told me to relax in her room while she showered. I picked up a book from her bookcase (Arthur C. Clarke, she did have great taste in books) and sat back in the little recliner in her room. About the time she came out of the bathroom (in a towel far to small) I was making a distressing discovery.

I could not move.

As I had relaxed in her chair every muscle in my body that I had seriously overtaxed after a year and more of inactivity started to tighten up. When she took off the towel and sat in my lap, that turned into a series of muscle cramps running up and down both legs and across the now-flabby abs. And no matter how much you want it to, certain parts of the male anatomy don't work properly when you are in so much pain you vision starts to white-out. The transition from looking "pretty badass" to "pathetic whimpering" was shockingly abrupt. I did manage to wrangle the mess into some Florence Nightingale effect sympathy from her. "Aww, you did this to yourself to impress me. Let me take care of you." That unfortunately was after a couple of very awkward and embarrassingly unsuccessful attempts by her to "Let me do all the work, you just lay back."

Not a serious injury mind you... some muscle cramping (well, and some ED which was "kind of" an injury) but the situation made it an unusual injury.

"Who built this f*@%!#g police station." - Leon Kennedy

 

[Guffe]

I had a cuticle infection...
No idea how or why I got it, what the doctor did, I'd rather not remember that part...