Weirdest Phone Calls You've Ever Received

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Voidrunner

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Feb 26, 2011
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So I received a phone call where the guy on the other end just mumbled at me in a language I couldn't understand before hanging up. The same number kept calling again and again leaving me voice messages every time. The first few I listened to were just more mumbling but one of them had this loud bang in the background. Still have no idea what he wanted or why he was so persistent as I could never make out anything he was saying.

Probably isn't that strange but it got me wondering if anyone has any stories about weird phone calls/texts/voice messages they've received?
 

MammothBlade

It's not that I LIKE you b-baka!
Oct 12, 2011
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I don't know about weird, but I did have one random particularly threatening phone call. "I'll break your jaw you f**k pr***k!" is how it went. Lovely person. Maybe it was someone I pissed off in the future?
 

SomeLameStuff

What type of steak are you?
Apr 26, 2009
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Oh yeah. We have this weird thing now with fake kidnapping calls. I had this one guy call me up and insist that he had "my daughter" and I should pay him $5000 if I wanted her back. Was quite amusing.
 

Dangit2019

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Aug 8, 2011
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I once had somebody curse me out in a different language for a few seconds and then drop the phone all dramatic-like. I wonder if I pissed them off in my previous incarnation as a Spanish playboy.
 

thesilentman

What this
Jun 14, 2012
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I got a call from some guy speaking Swahili. I needed to explain that I wasn't living in South Africa and that he must have randomly entered numbers. :p
 

The Knightly Gamer

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Jan 5, 2011
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I once had a person call me and ask me if I was their voice mail for their cell phone. I had to explain to them how it works.
 

Orphillius

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Jul 24, 2012
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Sometimes I get calls from pre-recorded bots that tell me about how I've won a boat or a ticket for a boat or something. It always opens with a boat horn blasting into the phone and it used to make me jump the first few times I got it. It's like "ring ring" "hello" "..." "..." "...BWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU GOT A FUCKING BOAT MAN! YOU DID IT!"
 

Kargathia

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Jul 16, 2009
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A random telemarketer is to thank for this nugget.

"But you're retiring soon, right?"
 

Dags90

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Oct 27, 2009
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I kept getting calls for some asshole who went by "Larry" on my land line for a while. I would tell them they had the wrong number, they would call again thinking they put in the number wrong. The third time around they usually got the idea that the guy gave them a fake number.
 

RedDeadFred

Illusions, Michael!
May 13, 2009
4,896
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When I got my new phone, I didn't remember any of my old numbers. One of my friends knew this so he put on his best fake Mexican accent (which is really good btw) and called me with this:
Me: Hello.
Friend: Hello sir! This is Bob's discount abortion clinic. Remember: no fetus can beat us!
Me: Uh..... WTF?!
Friend: Anyway, I was just calling to tell you that our abortions are 50% off. I have to go now though so I'm gonna make like a fetus and abort.

*Hangs up*
 

triggrhappy94

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Apr 24, 2010
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One of my friends got a call from his brother in the middle of school, all his brother said was "Everything in the moment is true". I think he might had been high on either shrooms or acid--I can't remember which.

Another one of my friends told me about how is grandpa got a random call on Father's day that said "Happy father's day asshole." They think it's from my friend's uncle who no one's seen in years.

Most of the phone calls I get are either spam or wrong numbers.
 

triggrhappy94

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Apr 24, 2010
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SomeLameStuff said:
Oh yeah. We have this weird thing now with fake kidnapping calls. I had this one guy call me up and insist that he had "my daughter" and I should pay him $5000 if I wanted her back. Was quite amusing.
Where are you from?! You're in the army because of mandatory service, and you appear to be from somewhere where kidnappings are an every day thing.
 

Inconspicuous Trenchcoat

Shinku Hadouken!
Nov 12, 2009
408
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I had someone call me and start talking to me like I was their grandmother. They went silent when they heard a low man's voice. They asked if this was ###-####, I said, "Well, no it's not (I added "obviously" in my head). They said sorry and hung up. So, the answer is no, I really haven't had any particularly weird calls.
 

SomeLameStuff

What type of steak are you?
Apr 26, 2009
4,291
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triggrhappy94 said:
SomeLameStuff said:
Oh yeah. We have this weird thing now with fake kidnapping calls. I had this one guy call me up and insist that he had "my daughter" and I should pay him $5000 if I wanted her back. Was quite amusing.
Where are you from?! You're in the army because of mandatory service, and you appear to be from somewhere where kidnappings are an every day thing.
Not kidnappings, just kidnapping scams. It's a thing now.
 

King of Asgaard

Vae Victis, Woe to the Conquered
Oct 31, 2011
1,926
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This one time I got a call which went something along the lines of:
'I am Sir Jimmy, and the band was Showaddywaddy.'
 

soren7550

Overly Proud New Yorker
Dec 18, 2008
5,477
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A couple of months ago, a yogurt place I applied to called me, and the conversation when like this:

"Hey, did you apply here?"
"Yeah, a long while ago."
"Ok, bye." *guy hangs up*