weirdest thing anyone has asked from you

[Darzen]

i've been asked for a sex toy and a frozen waffle....in the same sentence

 

[dududf]

Friend: "Yo man, do me a favour and fuck my mum would yeah?"

Me: "Wait... What?"

 

[Soxafloppin]

'If you were stuck in the World trade centre during 9/11, and you were trapped..And there was this unicorn..and he was gay. If he said to you, let me rape you and youl get out unharmed. would you?'

I shit you not.

 

[Orcus The Ultimate]

a girl - friend asked me once, a mirror, i said to her: "i'm not Mc Gyver."

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

'If you were stuck in the World trade centre during 9/11, and you were trapped..And there was this unicorn..and he was gay. If he said to you, let me rape you and youl get out unharmed. would you?'

I shit you not.

I would be surprised to find anything that trumps that.

I was just going to go with the nevertheless disturbing "give me your virginity."

"I'll give you £100 if you kiss... her!"
"That's my girlfriend."
"Oh, OK, she's pretty nice."

You should've just gone "Sure" and done it.

 

[Jaranja]

"Carry this dildo for me" - An idiot in my year last year.

"I'll give you £100 if you kiss... her!"
"That's my girlfriend."
"Oh, OK, she's pretty nice."

 

[LitleWaffle]

Shoot a Flare Gun at a wooden post 20 yards away to see if it will catch on fire.

 

[ThreeKneeNick]

I got a phone call and this woman on the other side wanted a massage... I kept telling her she got the wrong number and she kept telling me she phoned the correct one! It was quite funny and i didn't want to hang up, she hung up after trying to convince me for a few minutes.

 

[chefassassin2]

I was working at a restaurant a few years back and and order came back for a medium-well steak. So I cooked the steak, sent it out and a few minutes later the server came back and said she screwed up and he wanted a medium-rare steak. She then looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Can you UNCOOK the this for me?"

 

[Dark Knifer]

"Do you shave your pubes." This was asked by a girl to me. I didn't reply. I just gave her a look that said "wtf are you smoking?" she scurried off after that.

 

[xenos60]

I was talking to a telemarketer who wanted to sell me a holiday plan. I asked if they would cover my suicide dive into the center of Jupiter and she just asked, 'where's Jupiter?'

 

[dmase]

Hello
Hello
....
who's this?
Its me
....
Who
wait.. who's this?

At this point we finally figure out who is who and what is going on.

Edit: wait... got a better one

Guy: Can you impregnate a dog?
Me: what?... no
Guy: yeah except it would be born all fucked up
Me: what?... no it cant' happen
Guy: yeah and i'm gonna prove it
Me: what?... Why

 

[Joa_Belgium]

One of my friends (a girl) once asked me: "How much do you masturbate, Joa?"

"... Come again?"

 

[Z of the Na'vi]

"Will you throttle my sausage?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

I proceeded to walk away at that point.

 

[Jamienra]

I was added on msn the other day the conversation went like this.

Girl: Hi are you over 18?
Me:No
Girl: then come and watch me strip on cam on www.somepornsite.com
Me: I just said i was underage
Girl: Be quick and ill let you in for free. Bye
Me: Wait....what just happened?

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

How many galaxies are there? Billions, probably more. Duh.
When was Ben Franklin President of the U.S.? Never, duh.

 

[Jamienra]

I was added on msn the other day the conversation went like this.

Girl: Hi are you over 18?
Me:No
Girl: then come and watch me strip on cam on www.somepornsite.com
Me: I just said i was underage
Girl: Be quick and ill let you in for free. Bye
Me: Wait....what just happened?

That was a bot dude...

I know. Made me laugh though, how i rejected her advances as i am underage and it doesnt have an auto off

 

[Beldaros]

"Are you the son of the devil?" I was asked that by a devour christian, he said with a straight face.

"Are you related to (insert name here)"
No. I continue walking.
"Are you sure? You look just like them."
Not me. Sped up and kept walking.
"Well I know you from somewhere. Do you know me?"
No.
"You got a cigarette?"
No.
"Where do I know you from then?"
Must have seen me on tv. Walk a little faster, got on the first bus and never saw that crazy ass guy again.

 

[DragonsAteMyMarbles]

I was once asked what colour my eyes were - by someone who was looking straight into them.
No, she wasn't blind.

Also, someone asked my whether I shaved my legs. I was wearing shorts, and the (rather hairy) limbs in question were clearly visible.