Welcome to Sburb! (Dead and Over)

[Connor Lonske]

>Connor: Pester Chas and stuff.

What the fuck is that guy building! You are very worried for the safety of your home. You pester him.

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

-- backroomSix [BS] began pestering snickeringSurrogate [SS] --
BS: WHAT THE FUCK
SS: what what?
BS: YOUR GOING TO DESTROY MY ENTIRE HOUSE!
SS: no i'm not!
SS: i'm making a boat!
SS: it is a hopeboat!
BS: Oh, i though you were going to drop that on the building
BS: Sorry
SS: this is for the apocalyptic world.
SS: i am in the middle of explaining this to dirk.
SS: i will be the hero.
BS: Anyway, did you build everything I need for getting into the medium, if you can do, I will take care of myself from there on
BS: man, one hour
BS: Really
SS: pretty much, yep.
SS: two forking million.
BS: I have been worrying for nothing
BS: two million what?
BS: hello?
BS: Whatever
SS: no no it's cool.
SS: two million grist.
SS: relax.
SS: everything is cool.
BS: K
BS: Can you quickly build the rest of the stuff?
BS: that I need to get into the meduim?
SS: it's all good.
SS: you have the card.
BS: I need all the other mashines man.
SS: we're like a bunch of fonzies.
SS: what other machines?
SS: they're on the roof.
BS: Oh, you build them all already?
BS: Man, i'm forgetful
BS: Thanks, I'll go into the medum now
BS: bbe
-- backroomSix [BS] ceased pestering snickeringSurrogate [SS] --

OK, you cool and stuff. You go up to the spinie block maker with the blue block. The sprite thingie is trying to get you to do something, but you have no idea what seeing how you haven't prototyped anything with it yet. You put the block onto the rack and put the card into the machine. You wait a bit.

 

[Pappytech]

>Dirk: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH Your newest totem creates... the HARUHARA BLADE! Complete with a Rickenbecker 4001 sheath, you could probably use this to play a rockin guitar solo.

The IMPS are no longer laughing. Suddenly, you begin to feel a rumbling.

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>Beth: In the middle of the ALCHEMITER, a BLACK CRUXTRITE FLOWER appears. Its petals are in full bloom.

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>Connor: You create a CRUXTRITE PERMISSION SLIP. Wait, what?

Reading the PERMISSION SLIP, it looks like you have to get your DAD to sign it if you want to progress.

This is going to get awkward.

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>Chas: As you work on the USS Fork, you are suddenly interrupted by a massive shaking. It feels like something is slamming against your house with unbelievable strength.

Looking out a window, you see a CHALK OGRE assaulting your home.

 

[Pappytech]

>Chas: Your attacks, although damaging, are not enough to take down the OGRE. It grabs you, and slams you up and down.

Your HEALTH VIAL drops to 70%.

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>Beth: Your search is fruitless; you find no seeds of any kind.

It seems WRENCHSPRITE wants to help. It floats over to the CRUXTRITE FLOWER, and fastens its teeth around one of the petals, and pulls it off.

Spoiler: OOC

Page 8?!?!?!?!?!?! Man, this is moving fast.

 

[Pappytech]

>Beth: You try to eat one of the CRUXTRITE PETALS. You feel sick. You decide that probably wasn't the best idea.

 

[SamuelT]

Be the troll guy:

Yeah, sure. You can do that for a moment. Being the troll guy; sure.

Ok. Honestly. What is up with this girl? Seriously, almost throwing the Guardian into the sprite, which apparently she prevented by hitting the kernel with a wrench and then attempting to eat a flower. All of the previous mistakes could have been forgiven, but trying to eat a <color=red>plANt? She has now earned your pure, bored hate. Platonically of course.

Alright, you've been the troll guy for long enough now.

==>

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Check out that rumbling!

Yeah, sure you'll--wait.

Spoiler

WHAT?? That has to be the worst idea you've heard all day. That rumbling could be anything. It could be HARMLESS, like THE BREEZE, or it could be ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING, like some of those massive new ENEMIES that KAMINASPRITE warned you about. Or even worse, it might be your SISTER. Either way, there is no good reason to investigate that.

>Dirk: Something might be assaulting your memorabilia!

Spoiler

WHAT? Who the fuck would DARE mess with your shit?! SIS, MONSTER, BREEZE, or otherwise, you are about to lay a serious SMACKDOWN on somebody.

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Watch Sprite

You ask DUMMYSPRITE if he has any idea what to do with this TARGET.He seems to reply by smashing into it,repeatedly.However it seems to be having some effect as the target is now cracked.You shrug and decide to help him.

But before you do you can't help but stop and look around.In such a short time everything you have known has changed.It all seemed so simple,Waking up,have breakfast,train with MOTHER,read books,chat with friends,keep them from killing each other,read more books then bed.So simple.And now the world around you is literally crumbling to pieces.You wonder why you.Or more importantly...why YOU of all people.Your friends are far more suited to all of this.Your just a bookworm.

And yet....You take a deep breath.Fate chose you.By its will you gained your INTERESTS and HOOBIES.by its will you met your friends and,by its will,you became their mediator.

You will miss it all.But its time to take the next step in your adventure.

You calmly walk up and PUNCH the TARGET.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

> Xavier: Strife along side your Father
I equip my BUTCHER'S KNIFE and head out the window.
Goddamn fucking Oprah-esque enemies!.

> Xavier: Show them your stabs
No, you have evolved beyond that. The moment they took your FATHER you no longer were the SHOWER OF STABS.

> ==>
I SLASH several IMPS.
You became the SHOWER OF SLASHS.

> Show them your slashes then
Yeah, you've been for the past couple of minutes.
Seriously, catch up.

> Xavier: Reunite with your loving Father
I see my FATHER.

> ==>
He sees me.


> ==>
We embrace.

> ==>
Even the IMPS are moved.

> Xavier: Throw off your soppy facade
FATHER and I begin attacking the IMPS.
[HEADING=1]THE SOP RUSE WAS A
DISACTION[/HEADING]

 

[Pappytech]

>Beth: As you pluck the final CRUXTRITE PETAL, the stem begins to glow...

Your house, including you and your guardian, are transported away from your location in the middle of nowhere, moments before before the area is destroyed by a large METEOR.

When you come to, a look out your window shows that you are still in the middle of nowhere, just a different, and smaller, nowhere.

You appear to be situated on a tall spire of rock in the middle of a sea of darkness. You can't see anything outside of the light emitting from your house. Your WRENCHSPRITE splits in two, its black and white halves traveling downwards and upwards, respectively. You begin to hear scratching noises.

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>Dirk: You follow the rumbling back to your room. There, you see a giant black hand reaching in through your window. And it's messing with all your MISCELLANEOUS MEMORABILIA! Dammit, you like that stuff!

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>Greg: As you attack the CRUXTRITE TARGET, after giving your TRULY EPIC AND MOVING SPEECH... it cracks a bit more. Kind of anti-climatic.

Then the TARGET splits in half, and you are blinded by a CLIMATIC FLASH OF LIGHT.

When you regain your sight, you try and figure out where the hell you are.

It appears that your house is resting on a stone tower. It reaches quite high; you can't even see the ground.

You also notice that the DORMANT VOLCANO was transported with you. Wherever you are.

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>Xavier: You and your FATHER easily defeat the IMPS. You celebrate with a FATHER-SON HUG.

That's when the OGRES show up.

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Defend your memorabilia!

Oh shit, this is BAD. What would the MEN IN BLACK do right now? You can just imagine WILL SMITH and his wacky yet effective demeanor in pitched combat with this BEHEMOTH.

Spoiler

Mostly because it is currently RIPPING APART your MEN IN BLACK POSTER. You can only watch in horror as WILL SMITH'S beloved mug is crushed beneath those MASSIVE FINGERS.

>Dirk: Strife!

Spoiler

You will be AVENGED, WILL SMITH.

 

[Pappytech]

>Dirk: Inspired by the HILARIOUS ANTICS of Will Smith and possibly the SERIOUS ANTICS of Tommy Lee-Jones, you attack the SHALE OGRE'S hand. Your new sword easily slices of a couple fingers.

The OGRE withdraws its hand with a loud roar. Sounds like it's still alive.

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>Beth: As you charge the WHATEVER-IT-IS, a brown IMP bursts in through a window. It appears to have affected by your prototyping. In addition to the scarf, mechanical parts, and teddy-bear ears provided by Chas', Dirk's, and Xavier's prototyping, it also seems to be armed with an appropriately sized wrench.

It turns towards you, but when it sees Winston standing in front of you, it begins to look nervous. It backs away slowly...

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>Chas: Hearing your cry, GRANDPASPRITE comes to the rescue.

Spoiler: Show Spritelog

-- grandpaSprite [GS] began pestering snickeringSurrogate [SS] at 07:58 --
GS: Don't worry Chas!
GS: I'll handle this fella.
-- grandpaSprite [GS] ceased pestering snickeringSurrogate [SS] at 07:59 --

The next thing you know, you've been dropped on the ground. The CHALK OGRE is now picking up and smashing some of the IMPS that are still running around.

Man, considering that your Grandpa is both dead and half George Micheal, he's still a god among salesman everywhere.