Well I think I'm getting a divorce....

[AstylahAthrys]

Don't jump to divorce yet. Separation, maybe even having her go away to college and her coming home for breaks and visiting with the kid every so often could be an option. Counciling is a must, do not just give up if you have a kid. Find a college closer to home, maybe. Online school. She does need to fix something if she is miserable, but the two of you shouldn't give up just yet. Though if it ends up being the only option, do it while the kid is really young so he won't remember much of it.

 

[TehCookie]

This is the woman you pledged you'd love until death, I know it doesn't always work out that way but don't bail at the first sign of trouble. The first thing I'm wondering is why she wants to go off to college, and to that college. Is it just a midlife crisis and is the local one shit? Also why can't she go and still be married to you? What does she do currently? You said if she left she'd leave you with the family responsibility but is that it? If you get divorced you're still going to have to do it.

 

[Lazier Than Thou]

Don't do it, man. Divorce might seem like the best option, but it's ridiculously dangerous for you and your child. You might think she'll be reasonable in a separation, that she'll give you custody or something, but you're likely to end up losing your wife and your son. It's not so much that she's a terrible person(I don't know her and wont speak for her), but she's almost going to have to get a lawyer and that lawyer will fight for every penny and every privilege possible for their client. That's their job and the court system is in her favor.

Read this:

http://dontmarry.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/rotating.pdf

Go down to the bottom of page 11 and start reading. There are serious horror stories of divorce courts that you should know about before going into that massacre. Take this seriously as it will undoubtedly effect you for the rest of your life.

Ya know what? Read all of it. It's all very, very well written and extremely informative. But the most important parts are on the divorce court.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

If you aren't willing to sacrafice everything for your partner to be happy, you obviously should have never gotten married.

But, however, I am extreamly stingy about that kind of stuff.

You want a divorce because you are selfish, as well as your spouse. If one of you can't comprimise, then you are really in between Brock (the guy from pokemon) and a hard place.

 

[Ratboy1337]

That is a rough situation, and I'm sorry for it. In my honest opinion, I think you should consider the well being of your son and mother first, They need you the most. I hope everything ends up okay.

 

[0over0]

Divorce is expensive and uncertain, it's cheaper to have her killed. Just make sure you cover it up well.

Of course I'm just kidding....

Good luck, cause you will probably need it.

 

[Astoria]

Sounds like your wife rushed into marriage and having kids a little. I'm sure she loves your son very much but she doesn't want to give up on her dreams yet and settle down. Try and talk sense into her and make her see that she's had a child now and needs to put him above herself. Maybe propose a divorce to her and see how she takes it. A break would be better, a few months apart or so where she can go to this college and see how she feels about it.

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

My suggestion, if she doesn't see reason, then she should see the door, it's simple, not everyone can be what they want, or do what they think they're entitled to, truth is none of us are entitled to shit, and if you miss an oppertunity, then you missed an opertunity, growing past this fact in life is important for all of us... And if she can't, which is what it sounds like to me, what with her taking out her frustration by mistreating the kid, then you would be doing yourself and your son a favor by removing her from the situation, let her go chase her rainbows, let her go and be free and learn for herself why post secondary educations can and will financially ruin most people in this economy...

There are many fish in the sea, and believe it or not, not all of them are crazy and self centered like that.

Peace.

 

[Dryk]

I also want to know about the respective quality of these institutions.

Also you should make it very clear how bad you're feeling before asking for a divorce. Deciding to break up with someone without discussing the possibility with them first is a dick move.

 

[Brad Calkins]

Ah man, from what I know, you're screwed, the most probable turn of events is that one of you files for divorce, and she gets alimony and you get to raise your son all alone. A marriage counsellor may help, but that's also risky because there's also the chance that the counsellor will side with your wife, and even if s/he doesn't, it still won't change her mind, because people are incapable of rational thinking. Sorry man, but here's hoping you don't have to pay her 15k/mo for the rest of your life.

 

[Xannidel]

From your perspective she is acting sorta immature HOWEVER I would recommend you and her see a therapist that way you both can give your side of the story to a third party person. I do not have a son so I can't openly say do what you can for your son because that sounds sort of...hypocritical of me to say that.
I do hope you and her work your differences out regardless of the outcome.

 

[bossfight1]

A marital councilor might be your best option, with divorce as a close second.

 

[gim73]

Sigh... so you guys knew the marriage was pretty much doomed but allowed a pregnancy to let there actually 'be' something there. Nobody should ever rule out abortion. It is pretty much cheating /both/ of you out of moving on to better things in your lives.

Don't worry about getting a divorce. Get it over with, you are doing her no favors and especially yourself. Don't feel like you are all alone either. Chances are, most of us are going to get divorced at least once, some more like four or five times. Others are going to chain ourselves to abusive unions and feel morally obligated to serve a life sentence in misery. A few might find /true love/ and live happily ever after (10 to 50 years), before one dies before the other.

Nothing is forever. Even the universe is tearing itself apart.

 

[Xanthious]

A few things to keep in mind if you are going to go for a divorce. First is custody and child support. Unless she is just going to give you custody you are probably not going to get it unless she's horribly unfit. On top of that child support isn't going to be cheap.

Secondly is you could be faced with the real possibility of alimony as well depending on the state. Then there's the house. I noticed you said you owned a home. Well if this turns ugly you could end up losing that as well.

The thing is that as a man you are pretty much guaranteed to get screwed over in this scenario. In most states divorce, alimony, and child support laws are all seriously stacked against you. Depending on how ugly your wife wants to make this it's not out of the realm of possibility that you could end up losing your house while your wife and kid move across the country on your dime.

My best advice is if you don't think the two of you can amicably come to divorce and custody terms then you need to talk to a good lawyer before you breech the subject with your wife. Because if you don't have a good lawyer and this gets ugly it's not a matter of if you will get screwed it's just a matter of how badly you are going to get screwed.

 

[Teshi]

It's easy to say she's being selfish, but while you've couched this in terms of what's best for your son, it doesn't matter to a young kid what part of the country he lives in, his parents' financial situation, whether they own their house, whatever. Meanwhile, she's being asked to forgo her ambitions because of your mother, your career, your house (I note that you said YOU own the house, not that the two of you own the house)...well, I can see where a woman could feel trapped. Now, maybe she's a raging narcissistic beyotch and doesn't deserve any sympathy, but based on the bare-bones facts you've laid out here, it's very easy to fill in the blanks and picture a situation where a reasonable person would be unhappy, especially considering that none of the things tying her to your geographic location and your personal goals (mom, house, your job, etc.) are likely to go away any time soon, and there's no indication in your post that you'd be okay with her going away to school while remaining married. In these modern times there is no inherent requirement that being a wife and a mother means a woman has to give everything else up, or subsume herself to her husband's career and family, but it sounds like you're not considering option but that or divorce. And given that you're talking about how if you didn't have a kid you'd be divorced already, she'd have to be nuts not to be thinking about what she need to do to establish her own career rather than being dependent on yours.

So maybe a divorce would be a good choice for both of you, but based on what you've said, I hope if you do decide to divorce you can do that without making her the bad guy.

 

[godofallu]

*gives hug*

I think that you two should have a discussion about it. You need to do what is right for your son.

Definitely talk to her about how you're considering a divorce.

If she chooses the other school over you and her kid what can you do? Force her to stay or to raise a child?

 

[Joseph Harrison]

Just a few comments as someone who's parents went through a divorce.

Don't worry if you do get divorced your son will hate you both equally, so that's a positive right there./sarcasm

To defend the wife in this situation look at it through her eyes. You are trying to keep her from realizing her dream job, you stated that love being a paramedic imagine if the situations were reversed and you wanted to move to realize your dream job of being a paramedic, by forcing her to stay with you and essentially saying that she has to a mother first and a person second.

On the other hand she IS a mother first and foremost and you should point that out to her. She has a child now and her child's life is far more important than her own

My advice: Talk to her about this try and reason with her, this is the fucking 21st century I'm sure that that college is not the only option available to her. I'm sure she isn't as unreasonable as your post paints her to be (not saying your a liar but your anger could taint your view).

So a yeah, although I do believe your in the right just trying to defend the woman here.

 

[dayjack01]

Ahem not everyone is a christian by the way (no offense but my OCD always makes me cringe when i see or hear this comment when the original post makes no evidence to their religion)
Rant done

AKA TheCreeper ┏(-_-)┛┗(-_- )┓┗(-_-)┛┏(-_-)┓ Everyday I'm shufflin'

EDIT

(this is for the person who said he pledged to love this wife till death by the way)

 

[Scarim Coral]

May I asked why she want to specifically go to that school?
Also have you consider counselling but by all mean in my view you're in the right especially if she acting all bitchy toward your son which is wrong (parenthood is all about surrender your needs as your child come first).