What are the dumbest teammates you have seen in a game?

[Denis Trailin]

When you're playing a game you are sometimes forced to rely on AI teammates to follow you, lead you or heal you but unfortunately they are sometimes too stupid to do the task at hand and are more preoccupied with the butterflies flying nearby. I want to know what you think are the dumbest teammates you've ever seen?

Mine are the ones from gears of war 2 in which there could be no enemies in the room and you could be a mere foot away and yet they still wont heal you.

 

[DividedUnity]

Army of two. The 40th day was worse for it but the first one was still pretty bad. You had to keep telling him what to do so he didnt stand out in the open and get shot

 

[MultiColouredWonder]

Yeah, Gears of War A.I. is pretty freakin' stupid, but I think the Dumbest A.I award goes to the Oblivon people. ( Runner ups were the monkey Island A.I, and EVERYONE in Ratchet and Clank Future: A Crack In Time)

 

[soapyshooter]

The Marines from Halo. Christ, dont even get me started. Unless fuckers

 

[Schlem Asfg]

Left 4 Dead 2.
There was a bug if someone was charged by a charger, while another teammate ridden by a rockey, they would do nothing but to stare at you.

Otherwise, any fps/3rd persno where you have to escort an NPC. They always get stuck.

 

[Zannah]

The Human team-mates in the various ricochet game-modes of Mw2 are beyond any form of stupidity that can humanly be recreated.

 

[poet_lawreate]

Every NPC I've ever fought with in WoW is a complete fucknugget. The worst are when the quest is designed for you to protect the AI while they do damage or rely on them to fulfill some other basic function. I don't think it's one of Blizzard's strong points.

 

[Gaderael]

Oh, you're talking about AI. I thought you meant human teammates. Most AI in sports games (I'm looking at you EA) are pretty lackluster.

I'm usually the dumbest teammate playing though

 

[Kouen]

Left 4 Dead 2 when your constricted by a smoker sometimes they wait till your down to help then get you back up

 

[vallorn]

The Marines from Halo. Christ, dont even get me started. Unless fuckers

yeah they seen to have a terminal attraction to cliff edges while driving... not to mention combat.

 

[Ekonk]

The Marines from Halo. Christ, dont even get me started. Unless fuckers

And that's why I always shot them.

And why they shot me.

Oblivion allies always charge full into battle, even if it means standing off against a host of daedra against impossible odds, which means that, if they are vital NPC's, in less then one second you will have that wonderful notification "X is unconscious."

 

[Random Argument Man]

Dumbest? mmmmm Probably Daikatana?

Annoying? Half-Life 2. Yes, I said it! "Dr.Freeman!" "Gordon" "Dr. Freeman!" "Gordon!"

Look! I know you love me, but you're not obligated to yell m name at each second . I know you're there.

 

[Robert632]

I was playing Brawl with my brother, and we decided to put AI partners for each of us. My partner basically jumped off the edge a whole bunch of times. Fucking useless

 

[Rock4ever]

1) AI in Mass Effect 2. Unless you pinpoint every 20 seconds, where they should go, they will jump like a mountain goats from cover to cover and consume as much damage as they could... (so do I...)
2) Clive Barker's Jericho. Stupid fleshbags...
3) Sheva Alomar is a part time dumbass. Some time she is useful member for partnership, sometimes she is a blind imbecile. She can watch at enemy and DO NOTHING, until he cracks a bottle by her head. And then, DO NOTHING AGAIN. AI Redfield is a full time dumbass.
4) Left 4 Dead 2 AI. Greedy, lazy cowards... I have buttons to day "Yes", "No" and "Sorry", but there is no BIG RED button on my keyboard for "You're in my sight, asshole!". Pity. Very useful button...

 

[Kayevcee]

Kingpin. The AI goons you could hire work fine under the most normal of conditions- they'll follow you through the alleyways like a puppy and shoot who you shoot, but they tend to get stuck in doors and two of them once managed to crush themselves to death getting into a lift (as in elevator). Wastes. Of. Space.

-Nick

 

[Raikov]

I'm more amazed about the fact that most AI is the equivalent OR BETTER then real players...

 

[Flour]

Call of Duty(every game since 2003) is nearly at the top because 'allies' appear to be designed to push you away from cover while taking your place, rarely hit anything and most allies' personalities are as enjoyable as carving your name in your forehead with a rusty spoon.

But the worst teammates are in Daikatana. I've seen them get crushed because they decided standing in a door was a good idea, they happily use rockets to deal with that rat chewing at their feet, pathfinding barely works and your teammates get stuck on top of ladders because they randomly forget how to go down. Of course, being a shitty game the allies have to survive or else you fail.

 

[Vianyte]

In MW2, there are so many games I've been in where my team does fuck all and I'm the only one trying to capture the Headquarters or whatever objective it is. Hey! lets camp on the opposite side of the map to where the headquarters are! We'll win for sure!

 

[soapyshooter]

The Marines from Halo. Christ, dont even get me started. Unless fuckers

'Unless'? You meant useless, right?
Well yeah, Halo marines are 1. Soldiers in Half-Life:Opposing Force too.

Sorry about that, Autocorrect on the iphone is retarded sometimes