What are the weirdest/Funniest lines you heard in video games?

[random980]

"WHOS BBQ'ED NOW!?" said by Whack Angus (a bull) from cell damage when u kill someone
and Ty the Tasmanian tiger has a few good lines

 

[Tenkage]

I vote for spoony bard.

Always a classic line LOL

 

[Tenkage]

Come on I want to see more funny lines...

 

[Tenkage]

Ok one more bump, and then....I'm gonna let it die

 

[Arqus_Zed]

"O_O Boobie lady... You smell like alcohol."

That expression and that sentence, spoken by none other than Taokaka from BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger. It IS funnier when you read it in the entire dialogue she has with Litchi, but hey.

God, I do so love her dialogue...

 

[hortez the champion of the frozen wastes]

This is more wittyness by bethesda instead of their usual terrible voice acting making hilarity:

While in the Cheydinhall sanctuary in Oblivion, you hear a ranger have this conversation with and Orc fighter.

Ranger: I heard you botched a mission recently and had to murder everyone in the building.

Orc: Ah, you mean the orphanage.

 

[noodles loves you]

"OOH A CIRCUS! I LOVE A CIRCUS!" is probably my fave funny line in a game. don't know why, it just tickles me

 

[WhiteFangofWhoa]

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA" -FFX. You know which part.

"Aha! I am invincible!" -Boris Grishenko, Goldeneye. A pity correcting him fails the mission.

"Those missiles will make the meteors look like FUNteors! ...I'm sorry. Even I thought that was bad." -Dr. Morris, Advance Wars. Don't feel bad doctor, it's still funnier than most of Dr. Hibbert's 'jokes'.

"Don't think you're special just because you're wearing red shoulder pads!" -Maru, Arc the Lad 4. Okay then...

"I hope you're ready [name], because- WITTY-BANTER-INSERT-FAILURE!" -An enemy robot in City of Heroes

Plenty more that I can't immediately recall, I'm sure.

 

[SnipErlite]

"Are you just going to stand there like a lemon?" from Fable

I can see no way in which this simile makes sense, how could a lemon even stand? and if it could how could you stand like one?

Surely you've heard that expression irl though?

Right? Well it's common round where I come from.... :S

OT: Been said, but I did love Alone in the Dark's:
"Give me the stone" - "I Don't have your stone...And fuck you anyways!"

 

[Tenkage]

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA" -FFX. You know which part.

"Aha! I am invincible!" -Boris Grishenko, Goldeneye. A pity correcting him fails the mission.

"Those missiles will make the meteors look like FUNteors! ...I'm sorry. Even I thought that was bad." -Dr. Morris, Advance Wars. Don't feel bad doctor, it's still funnier than most of Dr. Hibbert's 'jokes'.

"Don't think you're special just because you're wearing red shoulder pads!" -Maru, Arc the Lad 4. Okay then...

"I hope you're ready [name], because- WITTY-BANTER-INSERT-FAILURE!" -An enemy robot in City of Heroes

Plenty more that I can't immediately recall, I'm sure.

Final Fantasy X should have had better voice actors

 

[Tenkage]

"Just get in the bag future criminal."

Deathspank had some of the funniest dialogue ever.

Hmm perhaps I should give it a shot. It certainly sounds funny

 

[reiem531]

Pretty much anything said in Earthbound.

 

[Tenkage]

Pretty much anything said in Earthbound.

I know Earthbound makes fun of America but how so? I'm just curious

 

[youngnoize]

"I bet he's sleeping on the job... his milk is delicious, everybody wants it. He'll be here soon. THEN THE LIES WILL END!"- Boyd Cooper a.k.a The Milkman (Psychonauts).
"I love to reload during a battle. There's nothing like the feeling of slamming a long silver bullet into a well greased chamber."- Revolver Ocelot (MGS) LINK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lj7UfgWYHiY&feature=player_embedded

psychonauts yes!! the whole game makes no sense but it's one of the best games i've played

 

[Megacobb]

That'll be Thwee Gowld Coins- Th Original Fable

 

[ultrachicken]

Most of the stuff guards in Conviction say. It's all super cheesy lines filled with as much profanity as humanly possible, like "You're going to fucking wish you hadn't fucked with me, fucker!"

Not really wierd but still stupid. Idiotic scriptwriters ruin games.

According to the game designers, the guards swore and spoke a lot because they thought it would help you identify the location of said guards.

 

[Baradiel]

Most of the stuff guards in Conviction say. It's all super cheesy lines filled with as much profanity as humanly possible, like "You're going to fucking wish you hadn't fucked with me, fucker!"

Not really wierd but still stupid. Idiotic scriptwriters ruin games.

According to the game designers, the guards swore and spoke a lot because they thought it would help you identify the location of said guards.

It wasn't necessary, especially after getting the sonar goggles. And before you had them, the way you can see everything perfectly once you go into shadows makes it even easier.

Conviction might have passed as a Splinter Cell if the writing had been any good. Along with the dialogue, the story was ridiculous and didnt deserve the title 'Tom Clancy'

 

[ultrachicken]

Most of the stuff guards in Conviction say. It's all super cheesy lines filled with as much profanity as humanly possible, like "You're going to fucking wish you hadn't fucked with me, fucker!"

Not really wierd but still stupid. Idiotic scriptwriters ruin games.

According to the game designers, the guards swore and spoke a lot because they thought it would help you identify the location of said guards.

It wasn't necessary, especially after getting the sonar goggles. And before you had them, the way you can see everything perfectly once you go into shadows makes it even easier.

Conviction might have passed as a Splinter Cell if the writing had been any good. Along with the dialogue, the story was ridiculous and didnt deserve the title 'Tom Clancy'

I'm just telling you the reason they had guards talk a lot. And I'm confused as to why you're arguing with me about conviction's story, as I haven't said anything about it.