What are your favourite jokes?

[Bloodastral]

The rabbit joke
Two rabbits escape from a laboratory and hop off down a country lane. Eventualy they come across a field of peas. "Brilliant" says one rabbit to the other and they hop into the field eat lots of peas, go at it like bunnies then fall asleep. The next day the two rabbits wake up. "What shall we do now?" says one cute furry bunny to the other. "Lets carry on down the road and see what we find," says the other rabbit. So off they hop and this time they come across a field of carrots. "Yay", say the rabbits and hop into the field, eat lots of carrots and bang like bunnies before falling asleep. Next morning comes and one rabbit says to the other rabbit "what shall we do now?" "Lets go back to the laboratory" says the other rabbit. "Are you mad, why would you want to go back?" says the first rabbit. "Well" responds the second rabbit, "I haven't had a cigarrete in two days!"

The seal joke
Q. What's a baby seals favourite drink.
A. Canadian club on the rocks.

 

[Hero in a half shell]

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

Spoiler

It drove down the road and turned into a field

 

[Sleekgiant]

I let Seth tell my jokes.

 

[Ultress]

Spoiler: It is terrible but I can't help but laugh

You know how in History class they told you that Hitler committed suicide near the end of World War II? Yeah, they made that up. He really had a heart attack when he looked at the gas bill.

 

[ShatteredBlack]

Why did the horse win the Nobel Prize?

Spoiler

Because he was out standing in his field

Sweet!

 

[Eumersian]

On President Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize:

Spoiler: Hey, wanna hear a joke?

The Nobel Peace Prize.

You knew it was coming. The Nobel committee claims that it's because of his "cooperative approach to global issues", as opposed to Former President Bush's views. That's right, he got a Nobel Peace Prize for having ideas. Besides, plenty of other powerful world leaders strictly opposed Bush's policies before. Admittedly, Obama says that he didn't fell that he deserved it, since he didn't have any accomplishments, but who the hell is going to turn down prize money? Certainly not me.

Alright, I'll stop with the politics. This is a thread about jokes.
My other favorite joke is what I know as "Argyll the Scotsman". I will not tell you it.

 

[Hero in a half shell]

Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize for work he did before he became president, apparently he was extremely successful with foreign relations. It would figure that the guy probably did some good before he became president to single him out as a good politician. But I digress. Here's another joke:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, and after finishing their dinner they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" exclaims Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" "Watson, you idiot!" he exclaims, "Somebody's stolen our tent!"

 

[Taxicab Samurai]

Q: What do you get when you mix a pregnant teen and a coat-hanger?
A: An abortion! =D

 

[No_Remainders]

I'm gonna go with this one:

The other day, I crossed a road, knocked on a door and walked into a bar.

That was the day I realised my life was a joke...