What do guys get nervous about?
- Thread starter Ironrose
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I've got stretch marks and quite a hairy arse, yeah...
And when that all important first time comes I have a feeling I'll fire the gun abit too quickly.
And when that all important first time comes I have a feeling I'll fire the gun abit too quickly.
With regards to sex, it would be whether I'm any good or not. Compounded by the fact that my ex told me she faked it something like 95% of the time and used that fact as yet another way to hurt me. Yes, it was an abusive relationship and I'm glad I'm out of it.
I haven't been in a relationship since then (one and a half years or more, now) but it's a worry of mine.
Somewhat related is the fact that I'm worried that there isn't anyone for me; it's hard to explain but there are a lot of things I don't get or don't know how to do, and that would probably drive most people away in the first place. Then there's the fact that my desire to find someone I could fall in love with is very much at odds with the conclusions I reached from past experiences in that sex and relationships are severely over-rated. Made worse by the fact that pretty much any of the women I know that I would be interested in are already in relationships with men that are almost certainly better for them than I ever would be.
Related to that again is general social awkwardness caused partly by my own demeanor and mostly by my Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD. It's very dificult for me to 'read' the reactions of everyone around me so I tend to be overly paranoid that everything I say might be considered offensive or something, so I end up either apologising a lot or simply not saying anything, which leads to a lot of awkward silences. I'm also terrible at holding a conversation; I'm fine among people who can keep it going themselves and I just interject with my own points or views, but if there's less people there (such as, say, just me and someone else) then it very rarely goes on for very long and almost certainly includes some topical shifts about as smooth as a fucking earthquake measuring 10 on the richter scale.
So basically I'm worried that I'll spend my life alone and that I'll alienate everyone around me ever.
No pressure.
I've done some research (don't look at me like that, please) and the reasons they seem to do it vary from 'justified' to 'helping absolutely no-one'.
The knowledge of why it's done, the typical ways it's done that don't happen if it's real and some things that should be done to help was kind of enlightening, but that's the only good thing.
The knowledge of why it's done, the typical ways it's done that don't happen if it's real and some things that should be done to help was kind of enlightening, but that's the only good thing.
I haven't been in a relationship since then (one and a half years or more, now) but it's a worry of mine.
Somewhat related is the fact that I'm worried that there isn't anyone for me; it's hard to explain but there are a lot of things I don't get or don't know how to do, and that would probably drive most people away in the first place. Then there's the fact that my desire to find someone I could fall in love with is very much at odds with the conclusions I reached from past experiences in that sex and relationships are severely over-rated. Made worse by the fact that pretty much any of the women I know that I would be interested in are already in relationships with men that are almost certainly better for them than I ever would be.
Related to that again is general social awkwardness caused partly by my own demeanor and mostly by my Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD. It's very dificult for me to 'read' the reactions of everyone around me so I tend to be overly paranoid that everything I say might be considered offensive or something, so I end up either apologising a lot or simply not saying anything, which leads to a lot of awkward silences. I'm also terrible at holding a conversation; I'm fine among people who can keep it going themselves and I just interject with my own points or views, but if there's less people there (such as, say, just me and someone else) then it very rarely goes on for very long and almost certainly includes some topical shifts about as smooth as a fucking earthquake measuring 10 on the richter scale.
So basically I'm worried that I'll spend my life alone and that I'll alienate everyone around me ever.
No pressure.
sorry... :3Ironrose said:Oh absolutely! I just thought it would be seriously poor form to insult someone by laughing at them in a thread where I'm asking people to lay bare their insecurities.seagoon said:oh, and he is quite tha laydees man!seagoon said:
I'm not like over-the-top Guybrush Threepwood awkward. I can talk to girls fine and i have loads of friends who are girls but the whole chatting up just isn't my strong suit. I have a beautiful girlfriend at the moment but still. if you are getting chatted up by a guy, what do you want him to say?
sorry for being an awkward teenage mess
lol! sorry for my awkwardness infecting this thread.
What are you apologising for?seagoon said:sorry... :3Ironrose said:
I'm not like over-the-top Guybrush Threepwood awkward. I can talk to girls fine and i have loads of friends who are girls but the whole chatting up just isn't my strong suit. I have a beautiful girlfriend at the moment but still. if you are getting chatted up by a guy, what do you want him to say?
sorry for being an awkward teenage mess
lol! sorry for my awkwardness infecting this thread.
I'm going to be a hypocrite again, a little less so than with that one friend who I convinced that asking girls out was easy and say just don't worry about it, cause if you never try you never know what the reaction will be. It's like comedy, if you wait too long to tell the joke, the window of funniness passes and you have to ruin the joke by explaining it. I realize I need to work on this too and that my fear of retribution is somewhat irrational. But next time you think of something you want to say just say it and don't apologize until they say that wasn't cool. If you spend too much time thinking of possible outcomes the opportunity passes, so just take it. That's helped me get more friends in general, so it's not too hypocritical, though I'm still having trouble applying it to girls I'm interested in, that may just be part of the whole "there is an angry boyfriend nearby" problem I have. In my defense I have twice found it to be the case that there was a boyfriend, but the one who heard about me asking wasn't more of a jerk to me than usual.MGlBlaze said:
my adolescence :3Ironrose said:What are you apologising for?seagoon said:sorry... :3Ironrose said:
I'm not like over-the-top Guybrush Threepwood awkward. I can talk to girls fine and i have loads of friends who are girls but the whole chatting up just isn't my strong suit. I have a beautiful girlfriend at the moment but still. if you are getting chatted up by a guy, what do you want him to say?
sorry for being an awkward teenage mess
lol! sorry for my awkwardness infecting this thread.
fair enough, thats something that needs to be apologised forseagoon said:my adolescence :3Ironrose said:What are you apologising for?seagoon said:sorry... :3Ironrose said:
I'm not like over-the-top Guybrush Threepwood awkward. I can talk to girls fine and i have loads of friends who are girls but the whole chatting up just isn't my strong suit. I have a beautiful girlfriend at the moment but still. if you are getting chatted up by a guy, what do you want him to say?
sorry for being an awkward teenage mess
lol! sorry for my awkwardness infecting this thread.
I have a few scars on my back which at first had me nervous, but I totally forgot that they were there. My previous boyfriend hated the 'feel', my current doesn't mind. As for guys, they usually feel insecure about the size of their dicks (obvious tell). Other insecurities are usually on the first impression they give you, they don't want to seem over/under confident when they meet a girl for the first time (especially the first girl they ever date, otherwise not as much but you can still pick up on it).
lolIronrose said:fair enough, thats something that needs to be apologised forseagoon said:my adolescence :3Ironrose said:What are you apologising for?seagoon said:sorry... :3Ironrose said:
I'm not like over-the-top Guybrush Threepwood awkward. I can talk to girls fine and i have loads of friends who are girls but the whole chatting up just isn't my strong suit. I have a beautiful girlfriend at the moment but still. if you are getting chatted up by a guy, what do you want him to say?
sorry for being an awkward teenage mess
lol! sorry for my awkwardness infecting this thread.
We've all been there. Hell, technically I still am there; I'm aware I speak (and type) like somebody in his mid twenties at the earliest but I'm not.seagoon said:my adolescence :3Ironrose said:What are you apologising for?seagoon said:sorry... :3Ironrose said:
I'm not like over-the-top Guybrush Threepwood awkward. I can talk to girls fine and i have loads of friends who are girls but the whole chatting up just isn't my strong suit. I have a beautiful girlfriend at the moment but still. if you are getting chatted up by a guy, what do you want him to say?
sorry for being an awkward teenage mess
lol! sorry for my awkwardness infecting this thread.
As for infecting the thread with your awkwardness, I do believe that was the point. It'll make you feel better about being awkward when you realise that 90% of other people, both men and women, feel exactly the same.
I'd rather not think about any worries I may have about sex. I have a hard enough time even asking a girl out.
I am still a virgin but I am definitely nervous and a little insecure, especially about sex. I hate sharing this but I have eczema, almost all over, and although it is pretty easy to clear up around the face, I worry about how my skin may seem to a girl. It also doesn't help that I am small too with little hope of getting taller.
Anything that requires intimacy terrifies me.
The idea of showing anything more positive than passing acceptance for anyone also terrifies me.
It's really difficult for me to accept that I have friends because that means admitting I care about someone. It's even more difficult for me to do anything nice for anyone without trying to play it off as no big deal or, preferably, like I'm just doing it out of self-interest and the fact that it also helps them is merely a byproduct.
Basically I get nervous about appearing as anything other than a complete dick. Makes me feel vulnerable.
Not really bedroom stuff, but I don't even like sex. So I don't really have anything to give a shit about in regards to that.
The idea of showing anything more positive than passing acceptance for anyone also terrifies me.
It's really difficult for me to accept that I have friends because that means admitting I care about someone. It's even more difficult for me to do anything nice for anyone without trying to play it off as no big deal or, preferably, like I'm just doing it out of self-interest and the fact that it also helps them is merely a byproduct.
Basically I get nervous about appearing as anything other than a complete dick. Makes me feel vulnerable.
Not really bedroom stuff, but I don't even like sex. So I don't really have anything to give a shit about in regards to that.
About sex: I'm pretty nervous and insecure about my Girlfriend getting pregnant. Even with an Abortion, it would make everyone hate me...
About anything else: I'm pretty insecure about people telling me whats best for me. Besides that, I can't think of much.
About anything else: I'm pretty insecure about people telling me whats best for me. Besides that, I can't think of much.