What do I do with my life?

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Ihateregistering1

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Mar 30, 2011
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Teh Jammah said:
AnthrSolidSnake said:
I'm in the exact same situation. I graduated high school, am now 20, and have no real job. My passion is to become a writer, "professionally", but my entire life has consisted of "That's not a real job." or "You will need to get a real job first." or "Chances are you won't be successful." All those statements weighed on me, HARD. My english teachers even told me to give up, and some said (though they tried to convey it as if they were saying it nicely) that I had no real talent for writing, despite the fact that I wrote novels since second grade. It didn't even have to be books that I wrote, I just wanted to write almost ANYTHING, to tell a story to someone. My parents were just sort of "Meh." when I told them, and now, when I finally have the actual time to sit down and write something for more than a page or two at a time, I'm constantly being expected to go out and get a job, or go to college. It's less a lack of discipline and more a lack of motivation. No one (except a couple old friends with whom don't talk to me anymore) had any faith in my passion as a writer, and most adults just passed it off as something as unobtainable as becoming a rock star, or NFL player.
If you really want to write professionally you should consider (at least starting with) journalism of some description, even if its just sending in freelance articles to your local newspaper until they publish one. Not only is it writing for a living, its also giving you the skills you'd need to be an author - working within an editorial mandate, working to deadlines, etc. Plus you never know, it might actually give you an idea or two for a book, since sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

But of you enjoy writing, then keep it up, even if its only as a hobby.
There's nothing wrong with following your dreams, but you must also balance it with the demands of reality. You may one day be a great writer and have some mega-selling book, but even many of the best and most successful writers struggled or had to work additional jobs before they hit it big.

Regardless, don't give up. To use a good story: Timothy Ferris, the man who wrote "The 4-hour week" and the "The 4-hour Body" (both of which were megahits) got rejected by 26 publishers for his first book before someone finally picked it up.
 

Kolby Jack

Come at me scrublord, I'm ripped
Apr 29, 2011
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I had a bit of a crisis over this when I was in High School. It got to the point where I started to just give up on doing anything because I just didn't know what I really wanted. Once I got to college, I began to realize that all I want is to be happy, and the only thing I should be concerned with is figuring out what MAKES me happy. Now I'm happy with life and more or less on a productive track.

I know it may not sound like a huge epiphany, but really the only answers to these big, general questions are big, general answers. Agonizing over the specifics before really thinking about the big picture will just lead to frustration.
 

Blood Brain Barrier

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Nov 21, 2011
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You don't have a life to do anything with. Life lives itself, the self is an illusion and there is no free will or choice (apparently). The end. I hope this post was completely unhelpful.
 

PFCboom

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Sep 20, 2012
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Have you considered the military? I know, it's bat-squeak crazy, but I've been in close to 3 years now, and I can safely say it was a great choice. I'm living comfortably, my work is enjoyable, and I still have loads of free time. Some of my comrades like to piss and moan about how much life in the Army sucks, but these same guys are barely off their momma's titty, so I don't really put much stock on their words.
Just remember to take the recruiter's words with a healthy handful of salt. They do NOT have your best interests in mind. It's only through sheer luck that I enjoy the MOS I ended up in, and that's only because my comrades make it enjoyable.
 

White Lightning

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Feb 9, 2012
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krazykidd said:
Reading you're first paragraph , i thought i wrote this . Appart from living with the parents i'm in the same situation . Fame money and power interest me none . I love videogames but have no will to work in the industry .

Unfortunately , i have no advice to give you . I'm in the same situation . I'm currently working a minimum wadge job just to support myself ( which i do quite well ). I'm not in any dept or anything. Just drifting in life playing videogames
We're not so different you and I... and OP, but I didn't quote him because his post was long as balls...

but yeah life sucks and then you die...

:(
 

Tanakh

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Jul 8, 2011
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Get good at something you have a drive for, like REALLY GOOD, then find a way to monetize.

There, problem solved, though most of the things you have drive for might require balls to commit to, as they are probably not easy to monetize for, in which case, get some.

PD: Forgot to add, if nothing at all motivates you then you almost certainly have a psychological issue, consult a professional then.
 

f1r2a3n4k5

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Jun 30, 2008
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Here's the thing, you don't have to know what you want to do for the rest of your life right now.

You have plenty of time to shop around.

The thing is, the time to do that is NOW. While you have time, physical youth, some funding, and a place to fall back on if it doesn't work out.

I recommend getting a job, any entry-level job, and sticking with it until you feel you've mastered it. Then get another one. Then get another one. You'll start to realize what you like and dislike. Maybe you'll find something you want to make a career of. Or at least you'll know what NOT to make a career of.

Careers, believe it or not, can be fulfilling. Coworkers and new skills and such.
 

IamLEAM1983

Neloth's got swag.
Aug 22, 2011
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Find something you're passionate about and turn it into work. Screw making loads of cash, honestly. If you manage to be wealthy and happy, good for you. Most of us don't. I'm happy, my job doesn't pay me more than what I expressly need to survive on a week-to-week basis.

The worst thing that could ever happen is for you to be stuck with an excessively lucrative position you utterly loathe. So, you know - embrace life. Have fun, and make sure you have a job that gives you the financial means to have fun without guilt-tripping or worrying about bills to pay too often.

If that job *happens* to be what is providing you with a sense of fun - then you've made it. Again, very few of us do make it to that level.
 

norashepard

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Mar 4, 2013
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I worked my way into a calm job at a niche retailer (record shop directly aimed at stoners), which pays enough for me to live comfortably in a decent rented home and still have enough to work on my hobbies like writing and art. By all definitions, I'm still a useless member of society, but at least I'm no leech.

So yeah, you can indeed find a way to keep on with the nothing attitude without people giving you shit. Of course, you won't meet a ton of people that way, and won't have a lot of room to experiment, but hey, if all you want is for people to leave you to your games, then who gives a fuck?
 

Saulkar

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Aug 25, 2010
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You like videogames? Try 3D Modeling and/or Animation and use all your accumulated exposure to aesthetics from games to let your creative side blossom. The problem you are describing is literally, exactly, 100% what got me into 3D Modeling and Animation 7 and a half years ago.

Try this free commercial software that is updated bimonthly with a major new release every two years: www.blender.org

With the abundance of online resources
([link]https://www.youtube.com/user/AndrewPPrice/videos[/link]-[link]http://www.blender.org/education-help/[/link] And when you are done with those, these two use two completely different software but are incredibly helpful! [link]http://vimeo.com/user3597691[/link]-[link]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aop58CIPEAw[/link]
you may one day do this:


Give it a try, you will never know if you like it until you do. Furthermore it is only a 50MB download and while it does require a high-end computer to work at its maximum potential it can still operate very well on something a weak as a notebook.
 

Sandjube

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Feb 11, 2011
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I was in a pretty similar situation, and actually still kinda am, working at a job I hate, live with my parents etc. But I found a course online that I've been plodding along with, and while it's not going to get me awesome qualifications or even great money, it's something I like because it's flexible, enjoyable and fulfilling. Also, it's already opened up opportunities even where I work (which is a freaking warehouse) in that I now help proofread/edit random jobs that come up throughout the year, and help with the catalogue every 3 months as well.

So I guess a good idea would be to just...I dunno, think passively for a while, about what you like. Games, writing, science, whatever, and then try and then just kinda look into that and narrow it down, see if anything in particular catches your attention. For instance I like writing, so I could have done journalism, creative writing, etc.

Anyway, whatever happens, good luck and enjoy life.
 
Jun 16, 2010
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Tanakh said:
Get good at something you have a drive for, like REALLY GOOD, then find a way to monetize.

There, problem solved, though most of the things you have drive for might require balls to commit to, as they are probably not easy to monetize for, in which case, get some.

PD: Forgot to add, if nothing at all motivates you then you almost certainly have a psychological issue, consult a professional then.
I find this post hilarious. Like, if I was trying to come up with advice that an out-of-touch one-percenter might give someone, I wish I could think up something as thoroughly smug and unhelpful as that. "Oh, you have no interests? Well, grow some balls and get an interest, and then monetise it. Or see a therapist. Whatever. #Winning"

IamLEAM1983 said:
The worst thing that could ever happen is for you to be stuck with an excessively lucrative position you utterly loathe.
Hah, I can think of far worse things that could happen to you than making lots of money. Unless your job literally involves being tortured, you're in a better position than most. If high-paying jobs were easy and fun, they wouldn't be high-paying.

AnthrSolidSnake said:
I'm in the exact same situation. I graduated high school, am now 20, and have no real job. My passion is to become a writer, "professionally", but my entire life has consisted of "That's not a real job." or "You will need to get a real job first." or "Chances are you won't be successful."
First off, your friends and family and teachers aren't in the literature industry; they don't know shit. Becoming a writer in this day and age is very different from how random people imagine it. For example, you have a big advantage in that you know how to use the Internet. Start a blog, read other writer's/editor's/publisher's blogs and comment on them and get involved in the writing/publishing community. With a bit of effort, you'll get your name out there, even without having written a book. If your blog posts are interesting, you'll start to build a "platform." This will put you ahead of 99% of the other bozos since publishers are more likely to recognise your name, and they love it when writers already have the beginnings of a fanbase; means more sales for less advertising cost. Also, reading all the blog posts and articles will teach you a lot about modern writing.

Then write. And re-write, and edit, and find people to critique it, then re-write again. Once you have a polished novel, shop it around to those publishers you've been following. You'll know which ones are likely to want your book, since you've been reading their posts, and you can appeal to exactly what they want. This puts you ahead of 99.999% of everyone else, so that really you're only competing with a handful of other in-the-know aspiring authors. Suddenly, if your novel is decent, your chances are pretty damn good.

This is the "secret" of how "mediocre" books like Twilight get published. Publishers are out there, telling you what they want to see, you just have to listen. They're desperate for good writers, it's just 99.999% of them are off doing their own thing, expecting to succeed without a shred of research into how to write professionally. Then they complain that "it's all down to luck," which is has attained almost mythic status. It's not about luck, it's about knowing exactly what you're doing! It's the difference between taking a shot in the dark wearing a blindfold, and using a high-precision sniper rifle.
 

nuttshell

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Aug 11, 2013
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Drathnoxis said:
Nothing. I don't want to do anything. Basically I'm perfectly content to be exactly where I am.
Is it really how it is?
Then why are you bringing it up?
There are a few issues that people are embaressed to bring up. There are even a few issues, that people are embarressed to admit to themselves. I may be reading to much into your post but I simply don't buy it, that you're simply not interested in anything except playing games. I'm not saying, you're a bad person or that you definatelly have issues that need to be fixed, I'm saying, that the world is a harsh place and most people are dicks but if you put work in it, it is worth it. Don't shy away from asking for help. Most people offering help aren't dicks.
 

Gunner 51

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Jun 21, 2009
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OP, I know this might sound like I'm having a pop at you, but I'm not. You need a change of attitude. But drive is what you need most of all. Just remember, every penny you spend is one that your parents WORKED for. Now YOU need to work and pay them back for their kindness with independence.

This can only come around with a job, as you said - jobs aren't fun. But they do give you money in exchange for your time, which means you don't just get money for games, you practically earned 'em. :) Plus you will appreciate any down time all the more.

What kind of job? I hear you ask - my answer is ANY job.

Even getting a lowly job as a badly paid toilet scrubber is better because it shows future employers that you're willing to work and thus opens up new and more exciting employment opportunities. But your best bet is probably administration / office work as an end goal. Plus it does open more romantic doors for you. :)

But in closing, I'd like to say this. You CAN do it, now go get'em, tiger!
 

Tanakh

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Jul 8, 2011
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James Joseph Emerald said:
I find this post hilarious. Like, if I was trying to come up with advice that an out-of-touch one-percenter might give someone, I wish I could think up something as thoroughly smug and unhelpful as that. "Oh, you have no interests? Well, grow some balls and get an interest, and then monetise it. Or see a therapist. Whatever. #Winning"
And the propose of writing that was? Can't see any intention to communicate besides caricaturing my post, talk about being smug...

Anyway, if you have no interests at all in life it would probably help to seek professional help, can't really see any issue with stating that.
 

Strazdas

Robots will replace your job
May 28, 2011
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You have to turn your job into your hobby. since you are not interested in getting rich, so just find a work that you may enjoy doing or at least you can avoid most of the time (there are works where "Actual work" is only couple hours a day, the rest you can spend on youtube or something) and play games the rest of the time. sadly you still ahve to find a way to get money to support your, well, life but that is unavoidable. you dont need some big goal to live happily.

FPLOON said:
Have you seen any iconic Let Players on YouTube? That's just the easily-spotted "jobs" involving video games... Do you want to get paid to play video games of your choosing? Or maybe you would want to review video games of your choosing? Or just doing something unique that involves video games? I'm trying my very best not to mention a good chunk of the content here on the Escapist, since it seems TOO obvious to point out...
Problem with this, you have to be in like top 5 of the world not to need a dayjob after this. Internet gaming really doesnt pay as much as you wish. people do it out of passion or stupid hope that posts like this inspire. unless he really ahs something special, hes way too late on this thrain and wont be able to live off it.
 

DaftPivot XXX

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Nov 19, 2009
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Haha! I think it's great how your thoughts sound so similar to my own. I also have no passion nor any ambition to seek a passion. I'm young, (18) and I get that I know nothing of the world but I'm also okay with this. No one "has" to be a functioning member of society. I just don't get in the way and continue living for life's sake. You know why I get up in the morning? Because I can, because why not? Now I handed out applications once, got an interview, no job. Then never applied anywhere again. I thought "I can't live with my mom forever (Only because she's quite hard to live with)." I did however finally land a job, through my brother, in a restaurant. Luckily they're good people I work with and make it slightly less of a drag. Is it my career? No. Am I passionate about it? No. Is it incredibly easy and does it pay with money? Yes. And that's all I needed, that's all you need by the sounds of it. I got an apartment and everything I really wanted. I get to live alone, play videogames and binge on junk food to my heart's content. It's also worth mentioning that I dropped out in grade eight due in part to my philosophy of 'If I'm not enjoying life, every moment, why live?'. Now, I only mention any of this because a few people really attacked the "content with doing nothing" part of your philosophy, where as that's basically what I do and did I mention I'm happy off my tits!?

TL;DR

You can do nothing and not be a burden. Get an easy, optionally enjoyable (at least nothing that makes you want to drag your face across pavement) minimum wage paying job.(Did I mention time flys by in a kitchen at work? Not fast food, I suggest a real restaurant.) Just ask people, people you know, if anyone's hiring. Play video games, float by and live the life of a hermetic Jedi like myself.

(Personal Note)
I don't mean to come off as naive. I don't know, maybe five years from now I'll hate myself and think this was a huge mistake but right now but "Basically I'm perfectly content to be exactly where I am."
 

TheEvilCheese

Cheesey.
Dec 16, 2008
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I'm 19, no real drive or passion. But I'm seriously looking a job that actually pays (done a lot of volunteer work since finishing school) because I hate the idea of living with my mum any longer than realistically possible.

I mean, I love her more than anything, but I want some space to call my own you know? Even a single rented room. Something that I've accomplished through being, as you so put it, a productive member of society.

But I know how you feel so well, If I didn't feel so strongly about wanting to move out I'd be in a very similar position. The best advice I can give is what everyone says. Find a drive. Even the smallest thing, make some sort of goal and go for it. You'll probably end up somewhere wildly different than you planned, but you'll get somewhere. And from the fact that you asked the question it seems that you know you can't just do nothing forever.
 
Jun 16, 2010
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Tanakh said:
James Joseph Emerald said:
I find this post hilarious. Like, if I was trying to come up with advice that an out-of-touch one-percenter might give someone, I wish I could think up something as thoroughly smug and unhelpful as that. "Oh, you have no interests? Well, grow some balls and get an interest, and then monetise it. Or see a therapist. Whatever. #Winning"
And the propose of writing that was? Can't see any intention to communicate besides caricaturing my post, talk about being smug...

Anyway, if you have no interests at all in life it would probably help to seek professional help, can't really see any issue with stating that.
I was giving you the opportunity to recant and not seem like such an insensitive blowhard, while indicating to the OP that he shouldn't let your crass dismissal of his problem make him feel bad.

But I suppose if by "professional help" you mean a career councillor (giving you the benefit of the doubt), then I guess you're somewhat right. Getting some advice from a professional wouldn't hurt.