What do you boys and girls think of my decision? (love related)

[Quinadin]

Spoiler: snip

Right, at a party yesterday I finally let my steam loose and told my closest friend(a girl) that I no longer would be at her side.

Now there is obviously a backstory here which I will go into now.

2years ago I fell in love with this girl, not a crush, we are talking madly in love, seeing a future kind of love. I've long wanted to marry her.
A year ago I spilled my beans a while after she broke up with her boyfriend; seeing as I loved her I stayed with her through her whole painful breakup.
She said she no longer had these kind of feelings for me and that she'd rather be friends, which I gladly said yes to, as I only told her about my love for her, cause I simply wanted her to know.

There was a certain problem though......
My mayor love for her, deemed me incapable of going against her in anything. I was the close friend that always was on her side.
Which meant that whenever she did something that angered me, I would quietly seal it behind a huge wall in my mind, while nodding at whatever she said.

That wall breached a week ago. It was an interesting experience as I finally told her what I meant about certain things she did to me and around me. She obviously didn't take too kindly to this.
Though after half a year of small fights every month, she decided not to give me the silent treatment for a week or two and instead respected my opinions and simply just said I was wrong.
With our friendship sort of restored again we went through the week without problems, up til yesterday.

Before I continue with this part I'd like to give some more info on why we were fighting a lot.

She obviously didn't feel to comfortable with me being madly in love with her, which she stated from time to time, though she also would say she was fine with it. I always suspected her of lying to me when she said that.
The thing that brought on the fights were the day when she spilled that she loved me, but that she was to afraid to weaken a already weak man(chronic disease and chronic depression(been through different institutions)).
Instead she started to date a person that used a whole year in primary school just to beat me up, she couldn't seem to understand why I hated him, even after telling her this.
So here comes the fights and certain outcries about her not wanting me to be there for her, yet she still came to me first whenever something happened.
I can't even count all the times she's cried at my shoulder.
The fights always consisted of her shouting at me about how I she didn't want me to be there for her, how I never was there for her and my love for her. Whenever I tried to get a word in, I was met by the silent treatment for days, weeks or even months.
Which as you can guess, was like going through hell for me.

So, back to yesterday.
While hanging out at school, she suddenly asked me to follow her to a certain place where we could talk under 4eyes(6 as I have glasses ^ ^).
There she tells me that I apparently have walked around telling people we're an item. After going through a year telling people I'm just her friend, you could say I was simply speechless when I heard this. The problem though was that I started laughing. It was just so damn silly, me the person that was piss afraid that she would leave me, I couldn't believe how she could even think the thought that I would say something like that.
Spreading rumours like that would be an obvious death sentence for our relationship.

So I told her to trust me, which she then stated that she didn't. Which left me even more baffled...
I thought I would have at least racked some trust this year, constantly staying at her side.
Apparently not.
Though I was still not going to lose her, so I decided not to say what was on my mind, and instead counted to 100 in my head. After calming down, I gave her a disappointed look and simply left.
3 hours later I left with her and another friend to a party.

Seeing as I'm a person afraid to speak my mind, you can say booze kindly tells my timid personality to go fu*k itself.
So 2hours in, after she comes out of a closed room with my friend, I let the booze handle the talking. 10minutes later she's screaming at me while I calmly state that I am no longer going to be her slave, as she apparently doesn't appreciate it.
I actually told her ''for once I'll not do as you say''
I've never seen her so angry.
After and hour of bickering back and forth we are both picked up by our parents.

And here I am today. Hungover and slightly irritated, finally deciding that I'm no longer going to keep up with this.

I would like to know if you guys and girls think I'm a bastard for what I do...
And I'd gladly answer questions if you feel you need more information.

EDIT:
Apparently people seem to think I'm simply hating her current boyfriend cause he is together with her.
That is wrong, I hate him cause he dedicated a whole year of his life beating me up simply cause I had long hair...
I had to cut my hair short, for him to actually stop and instead threaten me.
Ever since that he has been a complete ass to me.
Hence why I hate him.

Personally I applaud your performance and decision. Go find someone who's not insane and have a nice life.

I meant that, drop her like a hot potato and find a nice girl instead.

 

[DesiPrinceX09]

Been there, done that. I've been manipulated twice by girls because I am so nice and caring and a gentleman. They played me like a guitar and then cut my strings with a light saber. But now I'm 20 and no longer thinking with my hormones and am no longer easily fooled by a pretty face and seemingly nice girl. After so much pain I have finally found the perfect girl that loves and respects me for who I am and is honest and open about everything. She appreciates my caring nature and doesn't take me for granted and all that good stuff. So therefore, I hope you will get the same OP! I finally found a girl that is everything the others failed to be and I'm sure you will do the same! Just keep your chin up, she's out there

 

[Johnny Impact]

Just from reading your post I can construct two vastly different sides to the situation. Please understand I'm not trying to be a jerk here. It's only that there's more than one way to look at the situation.

There's the way you state it, which is you martyred yourself to the girl and were not appreciated.

There's another way to state it, which is you attached yourself to her like a leech, forcing her to drag you and your creepy unrequited love thing around for years because you were too desperate to accept that you weren't ever getting in there.

Again, not trying to be mean. Just saying there's always an other side. That's what arguments and disagreements are.

I don't give -- or take -- advice on life stuff. Advice is always delivered by an outsider, someone who can't know the situation as well as the people living it. Problems tend to look simpler from the outside.

If you really want my advice, it is this: Any time you ask for advice, you will get answers from people who can't handle their own lives, yet think they are expert enough to guide you. Ask yourself how many of the people offering opinions on your question have happy, healthy relationships themselves. I bet many of them don't.

Only you can decide whether what you did was right.

 

[ScreamingNinja]

Classic "good boy" scenario. You try to be her friend hoping to become something else, while she just hooks up with one asshole after another. Been there done that.

Because you know that being her friend in the hopes of it turning into something else is totally honest. Amirite?

If your in love with someone chances are you like them so much you would want to be their friend anyway. If someone is pretending to like someone just because they want to take advantage of the relationship thats dishonest, but I don't see whats wrong with being friends with someone you care about.

Usually you hit a person up, if they shoot you down then you either A) Stay friends with them and get over it and lose interest or B) Don't stay friends with them. If you take option C) 'I LOVE THEM SO MUCH BUT IMMA STUCK IN THE FRIENDZONE BUT I JUST LOVE THEM AND CAN'T MOVE ON! ;_;' Then that person is stupid, and is like the mental best friend from Not Another Teen Movie. XD

You seem to have a very simplistic view on relationships, but I guess you would have if you take your life lessons from an over the top teenage comedy.

That was an example, I'm engaged so I know about relationships, thanks. Let's face it. There's no point being friends with someone you like in the hopes of it becoming more. You get to know them, ask them out, and if you get a date, sweet. If not, then you stay friends and find someone else you want.

Or you pine over them like some sort of Emo douchebag. I mean, hey, if people out there wanna be Emodouche bags and piss-and-moan then by all means, feel free. Just don't be surprized when people, you know, call you an Emo douchebag.

 

[Robert632]

Ok first, yes you did the right thing. She's been manipulative and somewhat of a ***** to you. But the most interesting thing I find is that you stated that she has cried on your shoulder countless times, yet still didn't trust you. That just doesn't seem to make sense to me.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

Seems that the lass made you her "cuddlebitch", but eventually you wised up and decided not to put up with it anymore. Kudos.

Now make sure you don't fall back into that trap again, and for heaven's sake make sure that it doesn't take as long for you to realize when a girl is trying to turn you into her cuddlebitch as it did with this one.

Another tip would be not to involve yourselves romantically with women who already have boyfriends or are in the process of breaking up with a boyfriend. You have to catch them when they are "in between" relationships. Trying to do it when they're already in one or in the process of leaving one will most likely result in trouble you can do better without.

 

[Nightshine]

She kept treating you like a staircase now its time to fucking step.

 

[chaosyoshimage]

Kids these days, are you sure you were "madly in love" with her? She doesn't really sound worth your "love"...

 

[Kakemonster]

Classic "good boy" scenario. You try to be her friend hoping to become something else, while she just hooks up with one asshole after another. Been there done that.

Because you know that being her friend in the hopes of it turning into something else is totally honest. Amirite?

If your in love with someone chances are you like them so much you would want to be their friend anyway. If someone is pretending to like someone just because they want to take advantage of the relationship thats dishonest, but I don't see whats wrong with being friends with someone you care about.

Usually you hit a person up, if they shoot you down then you either A) Stay friends with them and get over it and lose interest or B) Don't stay friends with them. If you take option C) 'I LOVE THEM SO MUCH BUT IMMA STUCK IN THE FRIENDZONE BUT I JUST LOVE THEM AND CAN'T MOVE ON! ;_;' Then that person is stupid, and is like the mental best friend from Not Another Teen Movie. XD

You seem to have a very simplistic view on relationships, but I guess you would have if you take your life lessons from an over the top teenage comedy.

That was an example, I'm engaged so I know about relationships, thanks. Let's face it. There's no point being friends with someone you like in the hopes of it becoming more. You get to know them, ask them out, and if you get a date, sweet. If not, then you stay friends and find someone else you want.

Or you pine over them like some sort of Emo douchebag. I mean, hey, if people out there wanna be Emodouche bags and piss-and-moan then by all means, feel free. Just don't be surprized when people, you know, call you an Emo douchebag.

So just because some people react differently to these situations than you, you feel entitled to call them emo douchebag? If you didn't want hear about this guy problems or what others had to say about them then just don't read it and don't piss-and-moan about other people discussing things you don't care for.

There are a dozen reasons for why you might stay just friends with someone even though you love them. You might for example be to afraid to tell them because your afraid they don't feel the same way or you might already have told them and been rejected, but you stay friends even though you really don't stop loving them. Just because you might have a different way of dealing with emotions and relationships you don't have to put people down.

 

[ScreamingNinja]

Classic "good boy" scenario. You try to be her friend hoping to become something else, while she just hooks up with one asshole after another. Been there done that.

Because you know that being her friend in the hopes of it turning into something else is totally honest. Amirite?

If your in love with someone chances are you like them so much you would want to be their friend anyway. If someone is pretending to like someone just because they want to take advantage of the relationship thats dishonest, but I don't see whats wrong with being friends with someone you care about.

Usually you hit a person up, if they shoot you down then you either A) Stay friends with them and get over it and lose interest or B) Don't stay friends with them. If you take option C) 'I LOVE THEM SO MUCH BUT IMMA STUCK IN THE FRIENDZONE BUT I JUST LOVE THEM AND CAN'T MOVE ON! ;_;' Then that person is stupid, and is like the mental best friend from Not Another Teen Movie. XD

You seem to have a very simplistic view on relationships, but I guess you would have if you take your life lessons from an over the top teenage comedy.

That was an example, I'm engaged so I know about relationships, thanks. Let's face it. There's no point being friends with someone you like in the hopes of it becoming more. You get to know them, ask them out, and if you get a date, sweet. If not, then you stay friends and find someone else you want.

Or you pine over them like some sort of Emo douchebag. I mean, hey, if people out there wanna be Emodouche bags and piss-and-moan then by all means, feel free. Just don't be surprized when people, you know, call you an Emo douchebag.

So just because some people react differently to these situations than you, you feel entitled to call them emo douchebag? If you didn't want hear about this guy problems or what others had to say about them then just don't read it and don't piss-and-moan about other people discussing things you don't care for.

There are a dozen reasons for why you might stay just friends with someone even though you love them. You might for example be to afraid to tell them because your afraid they don't feel the same way or you might already have told them and been rejected, but you stay friends even though you really don't stop loving them. Just because you might have a different way of dealing with emotions and relationships you don't have to put people down.

I'm just calling it how I see it. You stay with someone you 'love' without telling them for years.. It's creepy. That's what it is. So yes. If you pine after a friend and get 'OH SO MAD THAT THEY DATE DOUCHEBAGS INSTEAD OF YOU FUUUU!!!1' Then all you really are is an emodouchebag. Hell, chances are these women would be using you to vent their feelings, and prolly care about their boyfriends. After all, there's a reason they're dating them, and not you. And it's not 'All women dig assholes.' It's generally 'Women dig confidince.'

 

[Ushiromiya Battler]

I'm just calling it how I see it. You stay with someone you 'love' without telling them for years.. It's creepy. That's what it is. So yes. If you pine after a friend and get 'OH SO MAD THAT THEY DATE DOUCHEBAGS INSTEAD OF YOU FUUUU!!!1' Then all you really are is an emodouchebag. Hell, chances are these women would be using you to vent their feelings, and prolly care about their boyfriends. After all, there's a reason they're dating them, and not you. And it's not 'All women dig assholes.' It's generally 'Women dig confidince.'

Where does it say I stayed with her for years without saying I loved her?
I simply said I hated her current boyfriend cause as I've said he used a whole year beating me up, I never said I didn't like her other boyfriends, which are currently my friends.
Next time, please actually read my original post.

 

[Wolf-AUS]

snip

This man says it plain and truthfully, exactly what I was thinking and I didn't even need to type it, brilliant!

You're not a bastard for wanting to be treated like a human mate, you should have ditched her ages ago, but now that you have stick to yours guns unless there's some serious arse-kissing from her end so you can restart the relationship (even if still plutonic?) with a massive powershift so she isn't carrying yours balls around in her purse.

 

[ScreamingNinja]

I'm just calling it how I see it. You stay with someone you 'love' without telling them for years.. It's creepy. That's what it is. So yes. If you pine after a friend and get 'OH SO MAD THAT THEY DATE DOUCHEBAGS INSTEAD OF YOU FUUUU!!!1' Then all you really are is an emodouchebag. Hell, chances are these women would be using you to vent their feelings, and prolly care about their boyfriends. After all, there's a reason they're dating them, and not you. And it's not 'All women dig assholes.' It's generally 'Women dig confidince.'

Where does it say I stayed with her for years without saying I loved her?
I simply said I hated her current boyfriend cause as I've said he used a whole year beating me up, I never said I didn't like her other boyfriends, which are currently my friends.
Next time, please actually read my original post.

Allow me to rephase for you case: That was creepy. You should have grown a spine a long time ago. And coming onto the internet for cuddles from randoms and people to pat you on the head and say 'You're right mate!' Is also silly.

 

[Ushiromiya Battler]

I'm just calling it how I see it. You stay with someone you 'love' without telling them for years.. It's creepy. That's what it is. So yes. If you pine after a friend and get 'OH SO MAD THAT THEY DATE DOUCHEBAGS INSTEAD OF YOU FUUUU!!!1' Then all you really are is an emodouchebag. Hell, chances are these women would be using you to vent their feelings, and prolly care about their boyfriends. After all, there's a reason they're dating them, and not you. And it's not 'All women dig assholes.' It's generally 'Women dig confidince.'

Where does it say I stayed with her for years without saying I loved her?
I simply said I hated her current boyfriend cause as I've said he used a whole year beating me up, I never said I didn't like her other boyfriends, which are currently my friends.
Next time, please actually read my original post.

Allow me to rephase for you case: That was creepy. You should have grown a spine a long time ago. And coming onto the internet for cuddles from randoms and people to pat you on the head and say 'You're right mate!' Is also silly.

Wow, way to be insulting, what the hell?
If it was that goddamn bad to read my post, you could have stayed out of it you know?
And how the hell was that creepy?
Could you please tell me what part was creepy? Except for the part you yourself made up?

 

[ScreamingNinja]

I'm just calling it how I see it. You stay with someone you 'love' without telling them for years.. It's creepy. That's what it is. So yes. If you pine after a friend and get 'OH SO MAD THAT THEY DATE DOUCHEBAGS INSTEAD OF YOU FUUUU!!!1' Then all you really are is an emodouchebag. Hell, chances are these women would be using you to vent their feelings, and prolly care about their boyfriends. After all, there's a reason they're dating them, and not you. And it's not 'All women dig assholes.' It's generally 'Women dig confidince.'

Where does it say I stayed with her for years without saying I loved her?
I simply said I hated her current boyfriend cause as I've said he used a whole year beating me up, I never said I didn't like her other boyfriends, which are currently my friends.
Next time, please actually read my original post.

Allow me to rephase for you case: That was creepy. You should have grown a spine a long time ago. And coming onto the internet for cuddles from randoms and people to pat you on the head and say 'You're right mate!' Is also silly.

Wow, way to be insulting, what the hell?
If it was that goddamn bad to read my post, you could have stayed out of it you know?
And how the hell was that creepy?
Could you please tell me what part was creepy? Except for the part you yourself made up?

'2years ago I fell in love with this girl, not a crush, we are talking madly in love, seeing a future kind of love. I've long wanted to marry her.
A year ago I spilled my beans a while after she broke up with her boyfriend; seeing as I loved her I stayed with her through her whole painful breakup.
She said she no longer had these kind of feelings for me and that she'd rather be friends, which I gladly said yes to, '

Creepy.

'My mayor love for her, deemed me incapable of going against her in anything'

Creepy.

'Which meant that whenever she did something that angered me, I would quietly seal it behind a huge wall in my mind, while nodding at whatever she said.'

Creepy.

I mean, I could keep picking it apart if you really want. But I hope you get the idea.

 

[xochiquetzal]

Well you don't get to pick who you fall in love with...

if you really (and I mean) REALLY want her back.

Don't listen when she apologizes. apologies are just words, what you need is proof that she wants you as her friend and equal. (and by proof i mean her actions towards you) if she actually makes changes and treats you like a human then give her a chance

if not...

there will always be more fish in the sea

 

[Datsle]

Epic snip of infinity

I've got Fibromyalgia. It sucks.

Tomorrow you will have integrity and the spine to back it up,
The day after a girlfriend, and the rest of your life.

 

[Hosker]

From what you wrote, I would say it was the right decision, but there are always two sides to every story.

 

[Ushiromiya Battler]

'2years ago I fell in love with this girl, not a crush, we are talking madly in love, seeing a future kind of love. I've long wanted to marry her.
A year ago I spilled my beans a while after she broke up with her boyfriend; seeing as I loved her I stayed with her through her whole painful breakup.
She said she no longer had these kind of feelings for me and that she'd rather be friends, which I gladly said yes to, '

Creepy.

'My mayor love for her, deemed me incapable of going against her in anything'

Creepy.

'Which meant that whenever she did something that angered me, I would quietly seal it behind a huge wall in my mind, while nodding at whatever she said.'

Creepy.

I mean, I could keep picking it apart if you really want. But I hope you get the idea.

Can't exactly see what so damn creepy with it, but thanks for actually pointing it out and not making stuff up like a certain other poster.

 

[ScreamingNinja]

'2years ago I fell in love with this girl, not a crush, we are talking madly in love, seeing a future kind of love. I've long wanted to marry her.
A year ago I spilled my beans a while after she broke up with her boyfriend; seeing as I loved her I stayed with her through her whole painful breakup.
She said she no longer had these kind of feelings for me and that she'd rather be friends, which I gladly said yes to, '

Creepy.

'My mayor love for her, deemed me incapable of going against her in anything'

Creepy.

'Which meant that whenever she did something that angered me, I would quietly seal it behind a huge wall in my mind, while nodding at whatever she said.'

Creepy.

I mean, I could keep picking it apart if you really want. But I hope you get the idea.

Can't exactly see what so damn creepy with it, but thanks for actually pointing it out and not making stuff up like a certain other poster.

I know you can't see it. That's part of what makes it creepy. Basically, ask yourself this. Are you a Man? Or a boychild? A man gets over this shit and moves on, and doesn't pine. A Boychild, however.. Well, you get where I'm going with that too.