What do you consider to be Red Flags (Relationships and/or Friendships)?
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I absolutely loathe people who say "I'm not X, but..." If you are NOT x, there shouldn't be any "but". They just say that to make themselves look less shitty, but for me, it has the opposite effect.Squarez said:
For example "I am not a jealous person, but I will GAUGE out the eyes of that fucking ***** if she doesn't stop talking to my bf."
"I am not mean, but I HAD to kick that kid." ETC.....
When they say that evolution is just a "theory".
When he shows up one day with a beard and starts talking about the will of allah etc, etc.
When he/she gets addicted to drugs and needs your help. Not for help, but for a fix. Depending on how good our relationship was I will either take you to a clinic, or kick you out.
When after waiting 6 months she tells me that she 'is not just ready for a relationship'.
When he shows up one day with a beard and starts talking about the will of allah etc, etc.
When he/she gets addicted to drugs and needs your help. Not for help, but for a fix. Depending on how good our relationship was I will either take you to a clinic, or kick you out.
When after waiting 6 months she tells me that she 'is not just ready for a relationship'.
But I do that...because I'm not racist, however some of the things I say will come across as racist. Unfortunately, they are true. Of course, it earns a lot of stunned looks and "OMG YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!"adorabelle said:
If it's true, I'll say whatever the hell I want. It IS true that my hometown's council gave preference to Muslims. That's why our proposed community centre is a mosque. Not sure who I blame for it though...can't really blame the Muslims for wanting a mosque...but I can blame the council for pandering to them.
Or it means they enjoy flirting...like most normal people. Female friends flirt with me. I flirt with them. I have a girlfriend. The flirting has no possibility of becoming 'emotional exploitation'...because we're friends. And that's what opposite sex friends do. You banter with guys, flirt with girls...because bantering with a girl who isn't expecting it often does not end well.RAKtheUndead said:
They could potentially be interested in you. I know that may sound outrageous, but if this is a woman you've never met before and she is ostensibly flirting, then it's highly unlikely she's trying to deceive you. Just some food for thought.RAKtheUndead said:
If someone requires that you prove your love/friendship, then something is wrong. This often shows up in the form of, "if you really loved me/were my friend, you'd [insert task here]." Sometimes it's used to get sex or to borrow money, but even if it's not an obvious attempt at leeching, it's a sign that the relationship isn't working out. Requiring proof means there's no trust, and if there's no trust, the relationship sucks.
For me, people who keep close tabs on money is usually a warning sign. I prefer `this time I pay, next time you pay` kind of system. I dislike people who keep a close eye on their money and insist that it is always 50/50 down to the last penny. However, I also dislike people who always spend a great deal of money since I do not have much. I am happy to go out to a cheap place and pay the bill/have the bill paid for me, but I dislike people who will use money so recklessly regardless of whether it is my money or not
I also keep an eye out for people who are always late without good reason. It just shows a lack of disrespect on their part.
The final warning sign is people who have no sense of humour. If they cannot take a joke and just take themselves to seriously, then it is time to bow out.
I also keep an eye out for people who are always late without good reason. It just shows a lack of disrespect on their part.
The final warning sign is people who have no sense of humour. If they cannot take a joke and just take themselves to seriously, then it is time to bow out.
Big red relationship flags? Contempt. If your significant other rolls their eyes and lifts their nose to you on an irregular basis, it's most likely doomed.
Red Flag 1: They are never there for you when your having a shitty time, but it's the end of the world if your not there for them.
Red Flag 2: They don't tip or ever help pay the bill. This is more of a boyfriend one. I like going dutch with dates. They pay for their half and I pay for mine. Also if they blow their money or penny pitch to the extreme.
Red Flag 3: Everything in their life is a sob story. I find this one the most annoying and the one I find the easiest to leave. My life hasn't been peachy, but here's the thing. No one's life is as grant as it seems. Yes, things happen that suck. Get over it and make sure the things that you have control over don't suck.
Red Flag 4: The overly clingy thing. The stuff that border lines on stalker. Every minute of everyday you must be in contact with the person. *shutters*
Red Flag 5: Touching me after I've told you not too. Touching is a big deal with me. I have PTSD and whenever someone touches me it gives me small flashbacks, shakes, shivers, etc. With time it lessens with said person and some days you just can't touch me. Stay out of bubble. MY BUBBLE!!
Red Flag 6: They never want to hang out ever. They will also go to the point of making plans with you and then bailing on the last minute to go to the hospital. Funny thing is they posted on Facebook they were going out clubbing with all their friends.
Red Flag 7: Drugs, extreme smoking, and extreme drinking.
Red Flag 8: Can never take a joke.
Red Flag 2: They don't tip or ever help pay the bill. This is more of a boyfriend one. I like going dutch with dates. They pay for their half and I pay for mine. Also if they blow their money or penny pitch to the extreme.
Red Flag 3: Everything in their life is a sob story. I find this one the most annoying and the one I find the easiest to leave. My life hasn't been peachy, but here's the thing. No one's life is as grant as it seems. Yes, things happen that suck. Get over it and make sure the things that you have control over don't suck.
Red Flag 4: The overly clingy thing. The stuff that border lines on stalker. Every minute of everyday you must be in contact with the person. *shutters*
Red Flag 5: Touching me after I've told you not too. Touching is a big deal with me. I have PTSD and whenever someone touches me it gives me small flashbacks, shakes, shivers, etc. With time it lessens with said person and some days you just can't touch me. Stay out of bubble. MY BUBBLE!!
Red Flag 6: They never want to hang out ever. They will also go to the point of making plans with you and then bailing on the last minute to go to the hospital. Funny thing is they posted on Facebook they were going out clubbing with all their friends.
Red Flag 7: Drugs, extreme smoking, and extreme drinking.
Red Flag 8: Can never take a joke.
People who tell me my business in my own home like reserving a seat for themselves, choosing the music or holding on to the remote. Sometimes I go "hey, go for it" but if I don't want to watch X-Factor then damn it, I don't want to watch it! Piss off home if you want it otherwise!
He's not worth your time. He risked your life for attention, what he deserves is you pressing charges. He's lucky enough as it is that you simply ignore him.adorabelle said:
Anyway the biggest trait that will determine whether or not I like people will be modesty. Oh modesty is such a wonderful word to neatly sum up all the traits I like. Here is a description:
The general elements of modesty include:
Downplaying one's accomplishments (see humility)
Behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency
Avoiding insincere self-abasement through false or sham modesty, which is a form of boasting.
Motivation for self improvement,
and tolerance of others.
These are all ingredients for creating a decent person. Well mannered, avoids boasting, motivation for self improvement, tolerance of others, works hard, tries to AVOID offending others ,etc.
Things I don't like include:
Leaching off of others.
Being inconsiderate of those around you.
Selfishness.
Shortsightedness.
Rudeness.
Disrespectful.
Noncontributing to a group-work effort.
Bragging about accomplishments.
Boasting.
Being inconsiderate in general.
Comparing your success to the failure of someone else, then pointing it out to them (how could a person be so cruel?).
Being emotional (dramatic,angry,upset,etc)
Attention-seeking.
Being an ass-kisser.
Deliberately being unproductive (for example, many poor kids would sell an arm to have the opportunity to go to school, yet some people are so used to having all the work done by their parents and having everything sorted out FOR them that they refuse to actually make use of the opportunity they have been blessed with, but no matter, they'll just end up homeless and useless anyway).
Cruelty.
Lying.
Manipulative.
Smugness.
Seeing yourself as having higher importance or being more sophisticated than others.
Self-righteousness.
Using sincerity in a heated argument not because you have a good heart, but rather to make yourself look like you are more mature and understanding than the other individual when you are only in fact, PRETENDING to be.
Etc.
Note that I try my best to make an effort not to just demand other people to be modest, but to be modest myself as well. This prevents me from "unfriending" anyone who lacks modesty, as a trait of modesty is to TOLERATE others.
No worries there then since I am not your friend or in a relationship with you.Sleekit said:people who start threads on internet forums as an excuse to rhyme out facts about their personal relationships
It is not an excuse for anything, it is called the Off-topic discussion and what is wrong with sharing personal experiences anyway? As you can see a lot of people are doing the same and it might help someone in the future or even now.
Would anyone here like to be the one that says; "If only I told (insert person here) about (insert personal experience here) sooner, then they wouldn't (insert tragedy here)" No? I thought so. Regrets are painful, and sharing is caring, where appropriate. Besides, we all have to deal with bad stuff that happens, so why not give help to those who may need it?adorabelle said:No worries there then since I am not your friend or in a relationship with you.Sleekit said:people who start threads on internet forums as an excuse to rhyme out facts about their personal relationships
It is not an excuse for anything, it is called the Off-topic discussion and what is wrong with sharing personal experiences anyway? As you can see a lot of people are doing the same and it might help someone in the future or even now.
Drugs and alcohol.
Peer pressure is a cruel thing, often forcing people into situations they'd rather not be in. I can't say I've ever had an experience I don't regret with either, so if I find someone pushing a beer on me, I walk out.
Peer pressure is a cruel thing, often forcing people into situations they'd rather not be in. I can't say I've ever had an experience I don't regret with either, so if I find someone pushing a beer on me, I walk out.
Vegetarians. It might be just the ones I've met, but they were all elitist assholes who tried to vaunt their "superiority" over me.
Aha my room mate is both of your red flags
warning big ass rant, that should help people not move in with their mates because it destroys your friendship and respect you have for each other
Sorry about that rant but I need to get that off my chest, but yeah it's like I said before, DO NOT be room mates with your friends it is the worst decision you could ever make, and also do not expect to come out of it with feelings other than contempt for each other.
warning big ass rant, that should help people not move in with their mates because it destroys your friendship and respect you have for each other
Room mate just recently got custody of his kids after breaking up with his batsh*t insane girlfriend who used him to get kids so she could live off centerlink payments for the next 18-20 years or so. So he lives with my fiance and I with his 2 kids (they're quite young mind you, about 2 and 3 years old), besides the kids destroying anything I don't keep locked in my room they eat all of our food (which usually pisses me off cause I love me some food, but it is making me irate at the moment because I got laid off my job 2 months ago and am still struggling to find a job and so we aren't doing too well financially) which he refuses to acknowledge and pay us back for, he also casually ate my emergency food supply I had save for such bad times and said something along the lines of 'oh sorry I thought I bought that', and has not paid me back for it. Besides the whole eating my food and not paying me back for it when I can only afford to eat once a day thing he's also the biggest ass Drama Queen in the world, he tries to D&M (Deep and meaningful discussion) with me and my fiance any chance he gets which is just his way of trying to act like he's trying to help you with your problems only for him to do it for his own self gratification by saying oh poor me I'm a single parent etc. etc. He keeps playing everything that has gone wrong in his life like he's been dealt a bad hand and he has to suffer though it all (even though y'know all of his 'problems' are self inflicted) He will even have the cheek to talk to my friends who have kids about parenting and ask for some parenting tips, they gladly give him awesome tips for teaching kids manner etc. and he will just go 'no, you don't get it, you don't know what it's like to be a single father!' ....dude I think parenting works the same if you're a single father
In conclusion I'm stuck living with a emo ***** that steals my food until I get a better job in the near future hopefully
In conclusion I'm stuck living with a emo ***** that steals my food until I get a better job in the near future hopefully
Sorry about that rant but I need to get that off my chest, but yeah it's like I said before, DO NOT be room mates with your friends it is the worst decision you could ever make, and also do not expect to come out of it with feelings other than contempt for each other.