What do you do to stay calm? (or level headed)

[Full]

For me what helps to deal with general anger a lot of times is to remember that it isn't a bad thing. It's an emotion, a natural one, I should be feeling it. After it's over, I'll feel better, relieved even, and the world will keep turning. Then I usually write a letter I will not send chewing the person that made me that way the fuck out.

I mostly get actually ireful at my family though, but they're just really annoying so I can reconcile with them later anyway.

At least I think I'm that calm.

 

[Rattja]

Give me a warm cup of tea or something and I'll be the definition of calm. Not sure why it works so well, but there is something about holding the warm cup and just feeling safe somehow.

Takes a bit to make me loose my cool these days, as I have trained myself to not be bothered so much, but it still can happen.
In extreme cases I just go for a ride in my car and scream until I laugh about how stupid it is. Not good for my voice, but it works really well for me.

 

[Joccaren]

IRL?
Its near impossible to piss me off even slightly. Outside of someone dealing bodily harm to myself, I simply don't get angry. Its not that I'm a sworn pacifist or anything, I just don't give enough shits to get angry.

Online?
When I get pissed off I start writing a massive paragraph. By the end of it I've calmed down, I edit out most of the stuff that doesn't really belong, and send a level headed response back. Most of the time. Sometimes there's not enough time for me to calm down and I post a somewhat aggressive remark back at the person.

 

[loc978]

Breathing exercises, think of something unrelated (and complex), strangle a toddler... y'know, the usual stuff.

In all seriousness, though, it's the thinking that does it for me. Design something, build something, fix something... so long as it's a significant technical challenge, I calm right down. Sometimes destroying something efficiently can help as well... but making a silent cut on a plastic bottle with even the sharpest of swords is also quite the technical challenge.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

I usually smoke a cigarette and mean mug whoever has the misfortune of encountering me while I'm stressed out. Afterwards I'm fine.

 

[Callate]

Try to decide if the feeling is warranted. Am I having a bad day? Did I get enough sleep? Am I blowing things out of proportion? Take a deep breath and work backwards.

Also consider that any of the above might be the case of someone giving me a hard time. That doesn't excuse it, but if it is a case of someone else's bad behavior, it at least allows me to consider the possibility that given a second chance they won't be unreasonable.

Remember that their reaction is, to a large degree, about them; how I react to it is about me, and I can be better than that. Even if I'm the only person who recognizes that I'm taking the high road, my opinion of myself is far more important than the opinion of some anonymous person in front of a keyboard who might just be trying to get a rise to affirm his own sense of consequence in an uncaring world. (And to be clear: I'm no sociopath, and there are people whose opinion I care about tremendously. But virtually none of them spit ad hominem venom at strangers they disagree with, and that lot don't deserve that affirmation.)

 

[Epicspoon]

I'm a pretty relaxed person by nature. The only thing that can actually anger me is somebody I personally know and am close to being an idiot in a way that is harmful to others AFTER they have made the same mistake multiple times.

The point is, I don't get angry as often as others. Though when I do get angry it's pretty bad.

 

[Epicspoon]

Typically speaking, I don't get angry. Some of the people I know actually brought it to my attention that, in 10 years, they've never seen me angry. I guess I can just let most stuff slide.

Unless I'm talking to my mother. Nothing turns on the rage like her.

Bite the inside of my cheek hard and hope I don't draw blood.

My mom likes to "put my things away" no matter how much I try to explain to her that this is where something goes and then saying "That's YOUR version of it being put away" My bag was hanging off of the doorknob on the inside of my room. WHY did you move it to the chair out in the living room? "BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE IT GOES" It's out of the way in MY room. when you put it out here people bump into it and crap, ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING?

And THEN when I DO leave it there she moves it into my damn room and tells me to keep my crap out of the living room.

Well here I am drinking a glass of lemonade.I didn't take a sip in the last 5 minutes so she decides I'm done (Note I said "decides" not "assumes") and then picks it up and dumps it out and gets angry at me for wasting it.

 

[wolfyrik]

Deep breathing and relaxation of your body. The sudden extra oxygen to the brain is like a slight euphoria which helps you to relax. Emotional and physical stress increase sensitivity to both, which is why deep breathing and relaxing can help you ignore a degree of pain. I do this every time I have to have an jab or i'm having back problems. It won't ever cure anything, breathing and meditations aren't some magic cure all like some new-agers would have you believe, but they do take the edge off.

Oh and remember that people such as Op mentioned, are just dicks. Laugh at them and move on.

 

[Whispering Cynic]

Putting things into proper perspective was the most efficient way to calm down for me. The simple realization that there is no rational reason to be emotional about meaningless things (like other people's words, events beyond my control etc.) proved to be the quickest and easiest way to calm myself. Or prevent being upset in the first place.

Lately I've been feeling almost too calm, in control - like nothing can faze me if I don't let it. It's a weird but not unwelcome state. Being three months out of work gave me a lot of time to think and this is the result, it seems.

 

[kidd25]

To my surprise. I just let it go. How you must be wondering, after a time has past it just disappear slowly. I can just hold it in without too much trouble. But music i would say is a good medicine, but people love to talk over the music.

 

[Beffudled Sheep_v1legacy]

Nothing keeps me calm or level headed. When I get angry there isn't anything I can do to make it go away without expressing it.
I take steps to make sure that I don't get angry in the first place but it doesn't help much.
I get angry and I have to express it. I have to punch something, break something, insult someone or scream. The only thing thats been successful in stopping my anger is medication

I don't like being angry

 

[Yuno Gasai]

I ask myself whether I will remember this tomorrow, or even in a few hours. The answer tends to be no so there you go, that's how I stay calm: by not sweating the small stuff.

This is an excellent way to put things into perspective. It actually serves to stem the bane of my anger or frustration.

On the few occasions I get so angry or frustrated I can't think properly, I step away from whatever triggered it and do something else. Something like take a shower/bath, go for a walk, play a videogame... whatever I feel will work at the time. Anything to take my mind off it until the wave of emotion passes and I can look at it logically.

Thankfully, those occasions are few and far between.

 

[Rblade]

usually just taking your peronal little timeout. Step out of the situation for a second.

In extreme cases throw something at a wall and shout a bit, but thats strictly limited to my room and preferably if non of my roommates are around

 

[Saika Renegade]

I'm almost certain this is why the desktop punching bag was invented. (It's an actual thing. Amazon recommended it to me one day. Given that I mostly browse books and model robots, Amazon has strange ideas of what constitutes a recommendation.)

Take a sticky note, write down whatever it is that bothers you, stick it to the bag, and loudly work your frustrations out until you can think rationally again. This might sound like a stupid, violent, and not at all calm solution, but for the most part we're still incredibly irrational creatures in the end, and it helps to get all of that aggressive, unthinking reflex out before you do anything that you might really regret. At least with the punching bag, the worst thing you do is detach it from your desk and then have to fish it out of the dustbin. (Okay, you might hit something that isn't the punching bag, but at that point you're technically not using it properly.)

With all that out your system, at least you can return to the situation with a lot less frustration, which I find helps.

If you don't wish to spend the money, there are a variety of Flash games with catharsis factor built right in, and work in the same area of instant, brief emotional/fantasy gratification, before returning to the grips of reality a bit less stressed out.

 

[putowtin]

I kill a lot of enemies... in a video game... of my choosing...

Generally my choice, bad day at the office, go slap someone with a purple dildo. Some idiot yells at me, Dovakin's about to lose her cool!

If a games unavailable I take a walk, get away from the problem, have a cup of tea and just chill for 5 minutes.

 

[nvzboy]

I'm not easily pulled over the line, but I have a tendency to build up frustration inside me so I do a number of things to vent that off. Lately I found I find a lot of rest in taking my airsoft rifle outside and doing some target practice. I find the grace of the bb flying to where I point it after all that practice I put into it very soothing. Listening to music helps, watching tv helps. Find someplace to vent your anger and you'll be less likely to boil over the moment someone frustrates you.