What do you think of online dating?

[Everin]

So, Escapists, what do you think of online date sites, meeting people online, online relationships, basically vs meeting people in real life, dating them in person, so on so forth. What's the difference, if any, with dating someone online? And explain

I think that dating is better in person, offline, and that meeting people should be kept to IRL, but, BUT, online dating is also fine for people that don't want to find themselves in awkward social situations or find it easier to be matched to people. In fact, I have a friend that met his girlfriend of four years online, they met when they were 18 and now theyre 22, 23, and they are happy together and he tells me he's planning to pop the question soon. However, I met my girlfriend and asked her out in person and I prefer the kind of relationship where you can hold the person, kiss the person. But that's just me over to you.

 

[Jedoro]

I think online dating sites should be a step towards meeting in real life, not a replacement. Nothing wrong with getting to know someone over the safety of the interwebs, but you gotta meet face-to-face eventually.

 

[viranimus]

Well I think most are inherently flawed. The biggest reason is proximity. Too many of these sites want to pair you with people who live a sizable distance from you, (unless you happen to live in a major metro area) and really you need more than just a face to face meeting, you need a lot of time in physical proximity to really get to know someone and not the online persona they wish to portray.

It may be a good thing as an ice breaker to meet people you would not otherwise get to meet, but physical proximity is in essence mandatory and needs to be a relatively early part of it to be viable and long distance relationships are some of the hardest to make work especially if your in LDR from the beginning.

 

[Twilight_guy]

I think all dating should be done in person but online dating sites could bring people together. Unfortunately in order to find someone online you need to wade through a sea of perverts, assholes, and idiot to find the needle in the haystack made of haystacks. Or, more appropriately, to find the hay in the needlestack.

 

[Floppertje]

well there's nothing really wrong with it, I just wouldn't do it. it's kindof like hanging a sign around your neck saying: wanna hook up?
I think I'd actually prefer meeting someone online to hooking up in a bar or something like that. at least when you meet someone online you actually have to talk to them and be genuinely interested to get involved enough to meet them IRL. I prefer a good old real life meeting though, online it's very easy to hide your unpleasant aspects.

 

[thiosk]

Its fine. Especially for professionals-- when you work or are in a graduate program, it can be quite hard to meet people, and lots of folk give up relationships in order to focus on careers.

One of my closest friends is marrying a fella she met on Match.com.

It can work.

However, it reflects the internet, too-- most people that you see in day to day life are only legally above tubeworms, as opposed to evolutionarily. and the same holds true for people on the intertubes.

Most people are tubeworms. They cluster in dense packs with others that look exactly like them. Basically giant vagina dicks. Suck nutrition out the water and attempt to smother one another for better nutrient currents at every opportunity.

 

[tk809]

All preference but a lot has to do with the age of the person or the desperation. It is generally a later option or for very shy people.

 

[Kae]

That it's silly and people should not start to suddenly hate me just because I said no!

 

[Triangulon]

Mixed feelings to be honest. I'm giving it a go at the moment as I've been single for two and a half years and am struggling to meet anyone. This is mostly due to work being hectic and a like of time to get out there. I don't have a problem talking to women and I like to think I'm a pretty interesting and attractive guy. Also I'm not really in to meeting random women in clubs. I'm trying the internet dating thing in order to get over the first hurdle of finding single women to then meet and potentially go on a date with. I don't really get the concept of long-term dating or relationships via the internet.

Having said all of that, I've not had a single coherent response to a message I've sent in the couple of months I've been trying it so I can't really comment on the success of such a venture!

 

[Clive Howlitzer]

I don't have any problem with it. I met my girlfriend online and I've also met several of my online friends in person. Hell, I've known them longer than most of my actual real life friends. However I've always had a very close knit group online.

 

[00slash00]

these responses confuse me. you do understand that the online part only goes as far as initially getting to know what the person likes to do. you still interact in person and once you're comfortable enough to do so, the online aspect goes away and its just dating. as someone who is very shy, online dating is very helpful to me. the past 4 relationships ive been in, have been with girls i met online. i wont go up to some random girl and start chatting her up, hoping we have something in common. but if i see someone on okcupid who has similar interests as me, i can have a conversation with her and after chatting for a while we meet in person

 

[Whateveralot]

I actually thinnk it's a joke as well. It's a bit creepy. I think there is another step, though. A community where people can chat, profile (but limited, because it's more fun talking about yourself in person then reading it off some person's profile), like any other dating site. Next to that, when they feel interested, they can get a fully organised date of their choice, for a certain amount of money.

This way you don't get the awkward movie-date thing, while still being together and doing something fun / original.

That's THE way to get to know each other, to make things like that work.

 

[Nemu]

I don't have a problem with it, but that is because Ive grown used to the idea and know people who have successfully used the service(s) and found someone that they (seem to) love.
I don't take it seriously, however, when folks meet someone online one day and a month later decide to uproot their life for this person (or when they do the same thing offline, however...).


Of course, I grew used to the idea since my gf used to be in the military and I spent a long time just communicating with her over the net and phone. =/

 

[CorinthianRed]

If it works for some people, thats their deal.
I personally will stick with face to face conversations....(not including my posts on the escapist of course)

 

[Broady Brio]

I'm indifferent to it, same goes for weed.

It's not a part of my life.

 

[Fetzenfisch]

its a nice thing to get into contact with people who share some important interests. I once had a date after writing with a girl on a gothdating site . Well it didnt worked out but the date was damn good.
The first contact with my girlfriend i am in a relationship with for 3 years now was online too. On a regional community site for the local scene in the surrounding cities, a great thing while it lasted, chatting and discussing about this and that and then just post " hey i am going to this or that club tonight, anyone wanna come with me" and thats how it started.

 

[Doclector]

I don't understand the argument I've heard some make that online dating is less superficial than IRL. So a site where people can simply look at a picture of me and say "yes" or "no" isn't shallow? I mean sure, in real life it's pretty much the same without the interface, but it's certainly no better. Imagine the harm to self esteem if you got a 100% "no" rate. It'd be like proof of damn ugliness, it may as well come up with a message saying "CONGRATULATIONS! you officially qualify as an eldritch abomination! Now go live in a cave somewhere where you won't defile our eyes!"

 

[Ambi]

Depends of the maturity of the people involved, and I think people should meet in real life before their relationship can be considered official and genuine.

My friend liked this guy online when she was 14/15. We were pretty sure he was actually a young guy and not some old creep because of webcam and videos he made of himself. I can't remember exactly what I told her about this... thing, but she got annoyed at me and said things like "what would you say, if I didn't let you be a bridesmaid or let you hold our first baby..."

She ended up meeting him. The next day at school she described his unattractive features and style choices in detail, said when they went to the movies he didn't laugh at all, and made pretend obnoxious eating sounds trying to be funny while he idly watched her eat subway (he didn't eat subway for some paranoid hygiene reason, if I remember correctly). She didn't like him after she met him. I wonder if it was all a joke, he was a bit mischievous.

So yeah, try to keep things rational and in perspective, even if you can't control your emotions, and no need to spend all your waking hours on the computer because of them.

captcha: happy blessings

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