What do you think should be a crime?

[DracoSuave]

Personally, I think that adultery should be a crime. Marriage involves a sacred oath and bond, and breaking it is a foul thing to do. If you're not satisfied with your marriage then seek a divorce, don't sully it with licentious stupidity.

Fuck. No.

1) Marriage is a contract, and if your religion believes it is a sacred oath or bond that's entirely on your religion and the government should NOT be used to enforce that--in the US, in fact, it's unconstitutional. Establishment Clause, bitches.

2) Adultery is often cause by a breakdown in the relationship. While one person is doing the cheating, it's often a symptom of the failure of two people.

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

J) Never even watched one episode of Firefly

Well that was lucky, I just watched the entire series for the first time this week.

Queue Jumping
Taking too long at the cash machine when there is a queue.
And a lot more queue related laws

I can picture you carrying a glove around, now

Yes I carry a glove. A glove, of justice

 

[Callate]

If you provide a service that comes with terms and conditions, and you change them, you should be required to spell out what the changes are. You should NOT be permitted to just re-publish all twenty pages of your contract and play, "see if you can spot the difference!"

If you have terms and conditions someone has to agree to and inquiring about said terms sends you to a page where you have to locate the version of those terms you can actually READ among twenty-five different languages- noting that those who just sent you are perfectly aware of the language of the web site that sent you there- you should be put up against a wall and shot. Adobe, I'm looking at you.

(This statement is not intended to imply an actual threat of violence to Adobe, any of its employees or subsidiaries. Unless I somehow get to start making laws. Then, watch yo' ass.)

And if we're allowing real pipe dreams, how about just "if you want people to agree to terms and conditions, those terms and conditions have to be in plain English (or whatever the local language is) and fit on a single page of 12-point type."

Regarding adultery: how about if you want to sleep with other people, you just don't marry? I'm fine with if you want to set someone else as your power of attorney, or to inherit, or be able to visit you in the hospital, or have parental rights. But if you want to sleep around, maybe you shouldn't call what you've got marriage.

 

[CannibalCorpses]

I wouldn't make anything else illegal but i would strengthen the punishment for some crimes:

Sexual abuse of children - instant death sentence, no exceptions
Dangerous driving/Drink driving - lifetime ban
Rape - forced castration

obviously there are grey areas on rape but if there is physical evidence then off goes your cock and balls.

 

[Porygon-2000]

Cutting in front of me in line

The punishment: I am legally obliged to kick them in the back of the leg

 

[Calibanbutcher]

I wouldn't make anything else illegal but i would strengthen the punishment for some crimes:

Sexual abuse of children - instant death sentence, no exceptions
Dangerous driving/Drink driving - lifetime ban
Rape - forced castration

obviously there are grey areas on rape but if there is physical evidence then off goes your cock and balls.

I see several problems with this legislation:
First: one woud need to clearly define dangerous driving and if there are maybe certain circumstances that would make a good excuse for driving recklessly , e.g. your wife is in labour and you are on your way to the hospital.

Spoiler: only open if you swear not to make this another gender thread

Spoiler: I am being dead serious here

Spoiler: Dead serious I say.

My assassins are watching you

Spoiler: You have been warned

Second: Rape as in forced penetration whilst the culprit is in a non-intoxicated state I hope?
Yes, drunk guys can rape as well, but sometimes they also "rape", e.g. sleep with an intoxicated women. In which case, I believe that castration is rather extreme.
Because otherwise, with the laws and definitions of rape as they are in some states / countries, male/female interaction could come to a screeching halt.
Disclaimer: Rape is always bad, always and in every case, if it was truly rape and not just two drunk individuals having awkward drunk sex with one party regretting it later and claiming rape.
I am aware of the the fact that it does not happen all that often, but in the case of it happening, the guy/gal should not be castrated, since that is a rather permanent punishment, and, should his innocence be proven later on, nothing could ever repay him/her.

 

[Barciad]

Advertising to children. Their brains are simply not sufficiently well developed to deal with the very cleverly calculated messages.
Disguising a PR firm to make it appear to be an academic institute. This practice has crippled the political and economic debates in the western world these past 50 years.

 

[Vaishnav Reddy]

Cheating on someone whom your married to should be punishable by death. Preferably in a slow painful way like drowning or Hell let's go Biblical and stone the person who does it.

Theft (yes I know its already a crime) should be punishable by death except in the rare occurrence where you would be dead for not stealing but only if the theft occurred non violently and without threats. (like homeless stealing food)

Having more than 1 kid should be a crime. In fact I'd go a step further than China and make it so after someone has there first kid both the mother and the father have 3 choices either be chemically castrated, commit ritual suicide, or pay a fine of 10 million dollars. (note women impregnated via rape are not exempt if they do not want it to be there 1 kid they should get an abortion. of which all should be free)

Abusing animals should be punishable by death.

I'm not sure if you are being serious , sarcastic , trolling us.

 

[Vaishnav Reddy]

Cheating on someone whom your married to should be punishable by death. Preferably in a slow painful way like drowning or Hell let's go Biblical and stone the person who does it.

Theft (yes I know its already a crime) should be punishable by death except in the rare occurrence where you would be dead for not stealing but only if the theft occurred non violently and without threats. (like homeless stealing food)

Having more than 1 kid should be a crime. In fact I'd go a step further than China and make it so after someone has there first kid both the mother and the father have 3 choices either be chemically castrated, commit ritual suicide, or pay a fine of 10 million dollars. (note women impregnated via rape are not exempt if they do not want it to be there 1 kid they should get an abortion. of which all should be free)

Abusing animals should be punishable by death.

I'm not sure if you are being serious , sarcastic , trolling us.

The thread asked my opinion and I gave a serious answer.

Okay.

Let's just see what would go horribly wrong if all of those laws were enforced.

1.Cheating-: Torturing a person to death just because they chose to have sex with one person while already in a relationship with another is so ridiculous that I just can't speak.It would result in a sharp dip in the population , mostly male. Humans are just simply not monogamous by nature.

2.Theft-: A lot of so called ' thieves ' steal out of desperation and are not really career thieves. Besides , the punishment should be proportionate to the crime and the thief should not be killed for one mistake. Exception -: In the cases where ( the evil snake-headed overlords of our society ) steal billions , I wholeheartedly agree with you.

3.Population control-: Due to the fact that they are going to be castrated , have to comit ritual suicide or pay 10 mil , most people will choose not to have kids.This means there is a sharp ( 99% ) drop in the working , middle class populace within a generation. Sharp drop in population equals anarchy.

I'm sure glad you aren't legislating in my country.
Oh, and IMO monogamy is bad.
I anxiously await your reply.( not sarcasm)

captcha-: have an inkling.

 

[Vaishnav Reddy]

Cheating on someone whom your married to should be punishable by death. Preferably in a slow painful way like drowning or Hell let's go Biblical and stone the person who does it.

Theft (yes I know its already a crime) should be punishable by death except in the rare occurrence where you would be dead for not stealing but only if the theft occurred non violently and without threats. (like homeless stealing food)

Having more than 1 kid should be a crime. In fact I'd go a step further than China and make it so after someone has there first kid both the mother and the father have 3 choices either be chemically castrated, commit ritual suicide, or pay a fine of 10 million dollars. (note women impregnated via rape are not exempt if they do not want it to be there 1 kid they should get an abortion. of which all should be free)

Abusing animals should be punishable by death.

I'm not sure if you are being serious , sarcastic , trolling us.

The thread asked my opinion and I gave a serious answer.

Okay.

Let's just see what would go horribly wrong if all of those laws were enforced.

1.Cheating-: Torturing a person to death just because they chose to have sex with one person while already in a relationship with another is so ridiculous that I just can't speak.It would result in a sharp dip in the population , mostly male. Humans are just simply not monogamous by nature.

2.Theft-: A lot of so called ' thieves ' steal out of desperation and are not really career thieves. Besides , the punishment should be proportionate to the crime and the thief should not be killed for one mistake. Exception -: In the cases where ( the evil snake-headed overlords of our society ) steal billions , I wholeheartedly agree with you.

3.Population control-: Due to the fact that they are going to be castrated , have to comit ritual suicide or pay 10 mil , most people will choose not to have kids.This means there is a sharp ( 99% ) drop in the working , middle class populace within a generation. Sharp drop in population equals anarchy.

I'm sure glad you aren't legislating in my country.
Oh, and IMO monogamy is bad.
I anxiously await your reply.( not sarcasm)

captcha-: have an inkling.

1. Then don't get married if you can not stay loyal to whom your married to.
(in answer to your comment @ bottom of quote) Monogamy is not bad however if you want to sleep with many people then do it as a bunch of 1 night stands, or @ least break up with whomever your fucking before you start fucking someone else. Cheating on someone is unequivocally wrong and should be punished by death.
No one wants to come home and find there wife\girlfriend\boyfriend\husband fucking the neighbor. Honestly if I ever found out my girlfriend (if I had one of course) was cheating on me I'd gladly shoot her and who she was cheating on me with with a shotgun to the head.

2. Most thieves steal to make a quick buck out of laziness due to not wanting to have a real job or to fuel addictions. Besides that theft is one of the 2 most abhorrent crimes one can do (along with rape) so if we give the death penalty to all thieves the phrase "and nothing of value is lost" would never have been more true. After all no one will miss lazy scum or drug addicts. and even if there not lazy good for nothings not wanting to work or a drug addict there still a thief and despite what you said most thieves do not steal from desperation but from a need to take advantage of others to make a quick buck.
People who steal are less than human scum that deserve to die in the most painful ways possible.

3. All of this is purely speculation. Post proof that people will still choose not to have kids if the laws were stringent enough to force them to have only 1. Most people want to leave some kind of legacy. Most do such by having urchins of there own. Besides most of the world is religious in one form or another. Most of them would continue to have kids due to not wanting abortions.
The only thing you could possible argue is that 1 kid per family is to little. If so then 2 kids per person would be ok. But the end result after the second kid would still be chemical castration, ritual suicide, or 10 million dollar fine for both parents upon getting there 2nd kid.

1.I'm not saying cheating is not bad. All I am saying is that when we enforce monogamy upon a polygamous species , the result is violent reactions from people like you. That's only because you have been conditioned to believe that sleeping with two different people in a relatively small time-frame is the worst thing you can do. That's your personal belief and I respect that , but you should not go about enforcing your beliefs on everyone. I am an advocate of open relationships , open societies and such , but you don't see me going about trying to abolish marriage.

2.Ever consider why the ' lazy scum ' or ' addicts ' steal? I admit that stealing is bad but you should understand the motivation of the thief before you pass an immediate death sentence.
Is he doing it out of desperation , is it a white collar crime , what is the value of the commodity he stole and so on.The punishment should depend on these factors. I feel sad that you don't seem to believe in second chances.

3.Yes , it is speculation but I am confident it is pretty accurate.You want to enforce this on the entire world and assuming you are successful this is the scenario it will result in-:

poor dude -:

You have your first kid. You think about having a second kid and its consequences.
You have to either 1.chemically castrate yourself ( i.e. permanent disfiguration and no more testosterone , so you won't be a " real " man anymore. ) 2. Commit ritual suicide ( I don't need to tell you why that would be unappealing. ) 3. Pay 10 million dollars ( I highly doubt everybody has that kind of cash .)

So , in conclusion , they have one kid at best.
PS-: This scenario also applies to the middle class , upper middle class and upper class.

The only people who would have a second kid are the ones who have 10 million bucks handy.
exception -: Some people might choose having a second child over chemical castration but I assure you that they will be in the minority.

This again results in a really sharp dip in population especially in the working and middle classes resulting in fewer manufacture of basic goods. By the time you react it will be too late or at the very least you cause serious harm to this civilization.

 

[Cazza]

Yelling in parliament. It's terrible these people run our country but put them together and they argue like 5yr. Yelling & name calling etc it's disgusting. Parliamentary privilege should not extend to that. It's abuse of the system and doing it should be finable.

 

[FalloutJack]

All rapists are to be punished by a nuclear fuel rod suppository, and pedophiles get a battering ram up the ass.

Murderers get tied up and left in the room with the next of kin and an array of innocent-looking weapons, no questions asked. If there is no next of kin, close friend, or just someone willing to work off a bit of steam...welcome to the only legal application of police brutality. Variations on this may be applied to assault, harassment, and talking loudly in the theater. We want it to be...special.

Hypocrites will get a slap in the face and a court order to either do as they say they do, or say as they actually DO.

Liars will get two slaps in the face, and a live carp down their pants with pictures as embarassing blackmail for the police to use.

Illegal blackmailers will have to give regular 'donations' or it'll be revealed that they are in fact whatever is politically discouraged at the time.

Pyromaniacs are to be burned at the stake. It's what they really wanted, anyway. This applies to arsonists who aren't insane as well.

Anyone with authority caught abusing it really stupidly, like as in to make themselves feel important, will have that power revoked and good luck getting anything in this bloody recession.

Anyone who's ever set a bomb in a place is to be sent to prison and regularly put in solitary confinement with a roomful of lit fireworks. If it was a suicide bomber, well...terrorism isn't my department.

Stealing should be met with your valuables being ousted from your residence. If you're stealing to survive because there's no food or something, we'll work something out, but you're on probation, mate.

Committing any sort of crime at all because god said so requires that you spend a term in prison with a copy of whatever religious text you follow until you figure out that god never said 'Kill they neighbors' or anything, and then AFTER you get the point, one of the above punishments for whatever it was. If you meet your maker then, you can try explaining there because that's not my department.

Complaints about anything really petty or stupid shall be met with - as a requirement - a roaring succession of laughter and an escort to the door OUT.

 

[Lovely Mixture]

Other rational countries should follow suit with Germany and make infantile circumcision illegal.

If religion EVER wants to be taken seriously it needs to give leeway to the laws of a country that are made for people's rights.

 

[Shaved Apple]

Drinking. Do something else to cope.

 

[funkzillabot]

People who threaten to kill or rape other people, and then think it's a fucking joke. Oh, wait....