What do you think?

[Dosvidonya]

So me and my friends are renting a house for next year. It can hold 5 people, but two of the rooms are smaller than the others, one of them being only slightly smaller than normal and the other essentially being the size of a large closet. So we planned for only 4 of us to be living there each semester, there are 6 of us, with the first 2 people going abroad during the spring and the other 2 going abroad during the fall, one person would get both the small rooms to do with how he/she sees fit.
Now here's where things fall apart. One of the people going away during the spring didn't properly look up how much credits she would need to graduate and thus can't go abroad, so she wanted us to let her take a room. So everyone gets into an argument about who gets what room, cause no one wants the closet room, and seeing how it would make it easier for everyone I volunteered, no one forced me to, to take the closet room. I also had to make a bunch of other concessions just to make things easier, all of which I volunteered myself for, some may say that makes me an idiot, I like to think it makes me a good friend.
But wait it gets worse. I had dropped my production concentration class to transfer into the screenwriting concentration, did everything I was supposed to do to properly drop and switch, but the school, for some reason, messes it up in filing and the records saying I did everything properly apparently disappeared and so instead of a withdrawal, I get an "F" and because it says I failed a major course, a course required for my major, I get thrown out of the communication school and have to apply to another school, still apart of the college, in which I have none of the required credits. This makes it so I can't go abroad in the spring.
So I'm stuck in essentially the same situation that my friend is in, only that I'm not to blame for my predicament, and I ask my friends if I can just stay in the closet room in spring so that they all get normal sized rooms, keep in mind I volunteered to take the closet room in the semester I was supposed to have a regular room to accommodate someone who wasn't supposed to be there and who clearly messed up. Unfortunately despite my willingness to take a hit when necessary no one else is, not even the person who I give up a room for, and they're unwilling to take the slightly smaller than normal room unless it comes with the closet sized room. So they gave me a choice, well barely a choice, find somewhere else to live in the spring, which means either another off-campus apartment, which means I have to go house searching again which is annoying because I was planning on using that time to look for other colleges to transfer too because of the previously aforementioned bullshit, or live on campus, which is extremely expensive, or force everyone to let me stay, which I really can't do which is why I said it wasn't much of a choice, but then everyone will hate me, not exactly what they said but basically implied.
So I have to agree, and they make half-hearted concessions to me, more for the express reason so that they could justify their decision than to actually give me a fair share. I just think it's shitty that I'm the one who's been doing everything to make it easier for everyone, giving up shit so that someone who isn't supposed to be there can stay... but no one is willing to give up anything for me, when I need their help. I just wanna get outside opinions on the matter, just to see what everyone else thinks.

* I forgot to mention that the person who was supposed to go abroad in the spring is going to be a senior next year. i'm gonna be a junior. So there's a bit of that senior entitlement feeling, that they have. Do you think that should still apply?

 

[JimB]

Whether your predicament is your fault or not, it isn't theirs, either. I infer that these guys aren't your friends, so they don't seem to owe you anything when it comes to the agreements you've made with one another.

Sucks, but if you aren't willing to fight dirty to stay where you are, sounds like you're stuck looking for a new place to live.

 

[Dosvidonya]

These are my friends, or at least I thought they were. I'm sure they think they are, since they seem to be spending a lot of time trying to justify their actions so they won't feel bad.

 

[applesandoranges]

edit

 

[Goofguy]

How locked in to this place are you? I understand you may not have the time to find a new place on top of the requirement to search for a new college. However, maybe you should just look for a new place altogether. Say "screw it" to living with your so-called friends and get a new place that you don't just have to live in for the spring. It could also give you the freedom to find a place close to your new college.

On an other note, be careful with that wall of text. It's kind of an eyesore and probably discouraged a few people from even starting to read your thread.

 

[Dosvidonya]

Yeah sorry about that this is my first thread. And we're pretty locked in, already paid first and last months rent. Seems stupid but keep in mind, didn't really expect this to happen. "Lessons learned" I guess.

 

[Dosvidonya]

@hulksmashley
Yes, sort of. After their decision they were decided to "award" me by not having to pay as much of the rent. But now that I think about it, i probably should of had that in the first place... like I said I didn't expect this to happen.

 

[JimB]

These are my friends, or at least I thought they were.

It's possible you and I have different definitions for the word "friend." I use it to describe someone whose company I enjoy, whose welfare I care about, and to whom I consider myself indebted for past acts of kindness. If your roommates do not feel that they have enough of a debt to you to let you continue having a place to eat and sleep, then I cannot justify describing them as friends.

Also, I can't help noticing that you're talking to strangers online rather than to them, so that seems to imply something about your relationship.

I'm sure they think they are, since they seem to be spending a lot of time trying to justify their actions so they won't feel bad.

Yeah, that's not helping the perception.

The good news is, if they're not friends, you have a lot less reason to feel bad about fighting dirty if that's what it takes.

 

[Dosvidonya]

@JimB
You are absolutely correct regarding the definition of friends. I very much see this as a betrayal and do intend to raise hell about it. Do keep in mind though, that they, like me, are a bunch of stressed college students, of course aren't we all, who seem to have confused "easy" with "right". Also keep in mind, I'm not used to fighting dirty, I try to be as good a person as I can be and I really don't enjoy having to be an asshole, so this is gonna be new to me. I also very much brought this to their attention, but essentially I wanted outside perspectives.

 

[notdante42]

I am assuming this 'closet' room is large enough for a bed or futon or what ever you are sleeping on right? If so and you do enjoy hanging out with these people why not just spend most of your time somewhere else in the house and use this small room for sleeping only. Like put a desk in the living room or somewhere, put your computer there and spend most of your time there and only use your room for sleeping/keeping your stuff in it. If they complain say you clearly do not have room in your closet to set up your desk and be comfortable.

 

[Dosvidonya]

@notdante42

The room selection isn't the issue. I chose the closet room for two reasons. The main reason was to give our friend who wasn't supposed to be there a place to stay and so that no one else would lose their normal sized room, but me of course, and the other was because I figured we would all be hanging out throughout the house anyway and that our rooms would pretty much just be for sleeping. The issue is that I have constantly been making concessions, to my detriment, so that everyone would be happy with what they got, but when I actually needed someone to give up something for me, because my original plan to go abroad got fucked because the school made a mistake and refused to fix it, no one was willing to help out the one person who worked the hardest to make their lives easier.

 

[dyre]

Eh, I'm a bit confused on the math here. You're saying there are 3 normal sized rooms, 1 slightly smaller room, and 1 closet room, correct?

Now, there were supposed to be four people living there during the spring, but now your friend messed up her graduation credits and can't leave in the spring, so now there will be five people living there, and you volunteer for the crappy closet room as a result.

Then, your class withdrawal gets screwed up and turned into an "F" (can't you appeal that?) during the spring, so you can't move abroad either. But aren't you staying for the spring anyway, which is why you volunteered for the closet when your friend got stuck here and all five rooms had to be taken up? If you're both not leaving during the spring, then there will be six people in a five-bedroom house, no?

Btw, in the future, just quote people by hitting the "quote" option next to the "reply" option in their textbox.

Anyways, your friends sound like a bunch of asses, and honestly I think you should stand your ground a bit more and stop making so many concessions. They may feel that can take advantage of you.

 

[mrm5561]

wait why not just move home. i mean if your kicked out of your school... which doesnt add up because most schools will let you take classes up to 3 times.. why not just take time off, work, and find another school

 

[Dosvidonya]

Btw, in the future, just quote people by hitting the "quote" option next to the "reply" option in their textbox.

@dyre
Thanks for the advice, I don't do forum stuff often but I was really frustrated.

Then, your class withdrawal gets screwed up and turned into an "F" (can't you appeal that?) during the spring, so you can't move abroad either. But aren't you staying for the spring anyway, which is why you volunteered for the closet when your friend got stuck here and all five rooms had to be taken up? If you're both not leaving during the spring, then there will be six people in a five-bedroom house, no?

No she was supposed to be gone during the fall, I was supposed to be gone during the spring. I took the crappy room so she could live there during the fall, no one was willing to do the same for me during the spring. And I tried to appeal but each time I got the same, "Blank" College is a respected institution that has regulations that it must follow and blah-de-blah-de-blah!" It's one of the main reasons I'm trying to transfer.

 

[notdante42]

Ah, sorry about that. I guess I got lost in the last paragraph and missed the main problem. Yeah, that is shitty. I am not sure what to do about the housing situation, best idea is to talk privately with the one or two people you are closest with and go through the situation with them trying to find a solution. Also, I know things won't always go as wrong as this but generally you shouldn't do something only to help other people. That others will rarely think to pay you back, such as what happened here. I know it sucks but make sure you know the people you're helping will help you out too.

 

[Dosvidonya]

wait why not just move home. i mean if your kicked out of your school... which doesnt add up because most schools will let you take classes up to 3 times.. why not just take time off, work, and find another school

I didn't get kicked out of the college, I got kicked out of the communications part. I can still attend a different school, currently I'm doing History, but that means I won't have the credits to go abroad anytime next year. The communications school also doesn't let people back in who are kicked out, even if it was a mistake.

 

[mrm5561]

wait why not just move home. i mean if your kicked out of your school... which doesnt add up because most schools will let you take classes up to 3 times.. why not just take time off, work, and find another school

I didn't get kicked out of the college, I got kicked out of the communications part. I can still attend a different school, currently I'm doing History, but that means I won't have the credits to go abroad anytime next year. The communications school also doesn't let people back in who are kicked out, even if it was a mistake.

aww that makes more sense. sorry i was history from the start and that programs more lenient so your problem didn't add up to me

 

[dyre]

Then, your class withdrawal gets screwed up and turned into an "F" (can't you appeal that?) during the spring, so you can't move abroad either. But aren't you staying for the spring anyway, which is why you volunteered for the closet when your friend got stuck here and all five rooms had to be taken up? If you're both not leaving during the spring, then there will be six people in a five-bedroom house, no?

No she was supposed to be gone during the fall, I was supposed to be gone during the spring. I took the crappy room so she could live there during the fall, no one was willing to do the same for me during the spring. And I tried to appeal but each time I got the same, "Blank" College is a respected institution that has regulations that it must follow and blah-de-blah-de-blah!" It's one of the main reasons I'm trying to transfer.

Oh, ok. I think you may have mistyped this, or maybe I misread it

One of the people going away during the spring didn't properly look up how much credits she would need to graduate and thus can't go abroad, so she wanted us to let her take a room.

And what about the girl who you're living in the closet room for? Surely she could at least reciprocate and live in the small-ish room and let you live in the closet in the spring?

That sounds like some really awful bureaucratic crap going on there, with the transfer/withdraw thing. I don't think my university would ever give me that crap

 

[Fijiman]

The communications school also doesn't let people back in who are kicked out, even if it was a mistake.

I may not know exactly how that school works, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that that is bullshit. If it's their fault then you should be let back in. Although I'm sure they're trying their hardest to feign innocence in the matter.

As for the room situation, have you suggested rotation of the rooms? Even if it's only between two or three people, you could just swap out every month or so(or even less often if that s decided) so that no one is stuck in the closet for too long.

 

[Dosvidonya]

And what about the girl who you're living in the closet room for? Surely she could at least reciprocate and live in the small-ish room and let you live in the closet in the spring?

That's the extra shitty part, not even she will. Wanna know the excuse, cause essentially it's, "I'm a senior people should be making concessions for me anyway."

The communications school also doesn't let people back in who are kicked out, even if it was a mistake.

I may not know exactly how that school works, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that that is bullshit. If it's their fault then you should be let back in. Although I'm sure they're trying their hardest to feign innocence in the matter.

Yeah they are pretty much feigning innocence. The problem is that they claim that they can't find the document and so obviously it must be my fault, despite me forwarding them a confirmation from the professor that I dropped the course. Like I said it's a big reason why I'm trying to transfer after next year.