evesgirl21 said:
my first reply on here...EVER... but...thought i could help
Wow...I'm assuming that this is mostly a male perspective....
As a girl i think we're missing a few things
a) you locked her out of her house (or apartment or whatever it is)
b) YOU LOCKED HER OUT OF HER HOUSE!
when its your house and your stuff you'll undrstand how it feels...having a place to sleep doesnt solve everything
I don't know about you but I've been locked out of my place before (my fault though. XD) and had to go through a sh*t storm to get it open again...shes lucky she didnt have to call a locksmith or something...that sh*t gets EXPENSIVE. If shes the type to gripe over $15 then i think she wouldnt be too happy about paying $75 like i did once.
Not to be rude but you make yourself out to be such a hero...she obviously cars about you seeing as she brought you cake...how many guys get cake for doing dishes??? She was being kind of a ***** but...did you desrve it?
Did she have to "ask" you to do those dishes or beg? Did she tell you to get her keys? Did you look...really? Really you kinda have to look at both sides here...
As a "friend" don't you think she would have forgiven you if she thought you meant it...Just sayin'
First I'd like to say welcome to the Escapist, I'm honored to have your first response, and so polite too.
Look, I didn't mean to imply that I am some sort of hero. I wouldn't have done all those things if I didn't think I was at fault, but I don't think her constant pouting was justified after a certain point. I mean if I just received a thank you for the meal, I would have been satisfied, but she was just being rude after awhile.
Although it is funny you brought up all those points, because they match exactly with her's, even down to the locksmith fee. To clarify, she didn't beg for me to do the dishes, she asked. We have a system that whoever buys the food, the other has to do the dishes. To be fair, I just quickly looked around the apartment for the keys before leaving, but them being under the pillow hampered that effort a bit. I figure if you leave something for someone, you shouldn't hide it.
Kryzantine said:
As to the OT, I'm not sure there is anything you can do. You could give her a big hug, but there's not much you can do from your end. They need to take the breather, lie down for a bit, relax, forgive and forget. Be thankful that this is a one-time thing and she will get over it (and there's honestly no nicer way to put that).
This city breeds some difficult people. Some good people, but some difficult. Don't let yourself get moody, that's the surefire way to keep her in a bad mood. But be humble about it. It'll take a bit of time, but she will apologize to you.
Yea I know, but I can at least acknowledge an apology, I think that's my issue here. As of writing this she seems to have cooled off a bit, but she is definitely still mad. I think I am just going to play Fallout until this whole thing does indeed blow over.
KarlMonster said:
Leaving aside that you chose to conceal the nature/depth of this relationship, there are a number of things wrong with this picture. If this is the penalty for not *seeing* her keys, what happens if you don't do her dishes? Do you get a public flogging for not picking her up at the station? I don't buy that you were supposed to remember her keys for her, and even if she did tell you, you're allowed to forget once in a while. This sounds like pretty harsh treatment for a small problem.
I guess things must be shockingly bad in the Bronx. Here in Michigan, you can usually find a trustworthy neighbor to hold a spare key for you. I do carry 2 sets of keys because I have a bad habit of leaving one set in a locker door, or something like that.
Now if those things that I've just said are way off the mark, then fine, whatever.
When she is doing the active ignorance thing? There isn't anything you can do. So ask her if and when she wants you to pick her up at the station again - then disappear for a few days. Or a week. If she's going to be that childish, then leave her for a proper sulk.
If you just have to continue to lick her boots clean, don't complain about how it tastes.
Well she asked me earlier that day if I could meet her at the station. I could have easily have said no, but I figured if I am going to sit on my ass for six hours playing my PS3 on her dime, I could at least sacrifice half an hour of much needed walking. The whole dishes thing is a deal we have, just read it from earlier in this post.
If you want the truth of our relation ship, we've been friends for about a year now. Since everyone else we know is out of town, we are just stuck with each other, so we have sex to pass the time. It's all good and fun, but we are both acutely aware that this ain't anything serious.
The Bronx is alright if you are a guy. Seeing as how I am a 6'2" 200 lbs rower, I usually don't get messed with, but the girls I hang out with are constantly being harassed, sometimes getting cat calls 10-15 times in just one trip to the train. It really isn't safe to be walking around at night here by yourself boy or girl, but the shear fact that girls are smaller makes them easier targets.