What if EA made Pokemon?

[Ruedyn]

All Pokemon will be replaced with grizzled short brown haired people. There will be a romance scene. All females will dress... pretty much the same actually, but they will be older and have massive tits.

 

[Flunk]

Every single pokemon would be a separate in-app purchase. 150? no problem, just pay $2 a pop for 'em, 250? we'll give you a great deal $5 off!

 

[Brendan Stepladder]

shnip

All of those "added features" could and should have been included in the original games. Also, not all Gameboys came with link cables, as evidenced by the one I had.

 

[Grant Stackhouse]

Well, since EA thinks that Free-to-Play is the exclusive future of gaming, they would release Pokemon as a FTP game for Facebook and phones, with heavy ad support and the option to pay real money to speed up your progress. Then they would pull all support from it after six months, when it no longer proved sufficiently profitable.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

Well, at least we'd have a full-3D roaming Pokemon game by now >:-|

that is one thing that incredibly irks me (which with the style of pokemon, graphics wouldn't even be a problem/hard to tackle, therefore having it open world wouldn't take too much processing power...)

fuck. i want that game so bad. (and not that pokemon coliseum shit, i'm talking full pokemon game)

 

[I.Muir]

It would suck
That is all

 

[EvilMaggot]

also, if you lose internet connection at ANY GIVEN TIME FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER, EVEN AT FAULT OF OUR OWN, your game files will be erased! it's not like we can allow hackers in a SINGLE PLAYER GAME, or god forbid, PIRATES

We're talking about EA, not Activision/Blizzard..

and here i thought he was refering to Ubisoft since they were the first to do the always online thingy even for a singleplayer game

 

[AdamRhodes]

...Needless to say, the game would tank, and EA would abandon it for fifteen years before rebooting it as an FPS.

Assuming that timeline, it's about time for EA to reboot Red/Blue/Yellow as an FPS then.

I'm assuming the reboot would change the world of Kanto into a gritty, dark, post-apocalyptic nightmare where individual Pokemon have mutated into hideous husks of their former beings, and Protagonist, a generic 30-year old white male with a grizzled beard and brown hair, needs to fight his way through wild mutant Pokemon and crazed survivors who have managed to somehow hold onto their old Pokemon over the years, scrounging to survive in the inhospitable wasteland.

The Elite Four is the last bastion of safety in the land, where all of the healthy and sane people have migrated to over the years, and Protagonist needs to fight his way through multiple linear, contrived paths until he can finally unblock the way to Victory Road, where he will face the ultimate challenge!

Super violent mutant cock-fighting sounds badass, though...

Hm.

Allow me to clarify.

Protagonist[sup]TM[/sup] will be gun-wielding, having lost the ability to obtain Pokeballs and wild Pokemon in their new, mutated forms being unable to be caught and trained. The crazed people who still have Pokemon will use them to try and take down Protagonist[sup]TM[/sup], who is essentially a buff armory on legs. After Protagonist[sup]TM[/sup] kills the Pokemon in sufficiently brutal and gory ways, he will also fatally wound previously mentioned crazed trainers in his quest to reach the Indigo Plateau.

Letting Protagonist[sup]TM[/sup] catch and use his own Pokemon would be too innovative and promote fun. We at EA can't stand for that.

Also, Protagonist[sup]TM[/sup] would be voiced by Nolan North's "Nathan Drake" voice and not the dozens of other voices he can do. If you're gonna have a thirty-something, white, brown-haired Protagonist[sup]TM[/sup] who hasn't shaved in over a fortnight, it has to be Nolan North.

 

[Infernai]

I'm going to cover the basics just to force anyone else who posts here to be more imaginative.

- It would be rebooted as an FPS.

- It would include online multiplayer deathmatch mode that would require an online pass.

- There would be day-one DLC pokemon. $10 each.

- There would be microtransactions for rare candies and the better kinds of balls. (Do the pokemon games still use those? I haven't played one since the original red-blue-yellow.)

- The developers would be shut down shortly after release.

Oh oh! You forgot:

- The developers would try to make the whole thing "Darker" and "Edgier" to appeal to a wider audience and to make pokemon more "Modern".

 

[shrekfan246]

...Needless to say, the game would tank, and EA would abandon it for fifteen years before rebooting it as an FPS.

Assuming that timeline, it's about time for EA to reboot Red/Blue/Yellow as an FPS then.

I'm assuming the reboot would change the world of Kanto into a gritty, dark, post-apocalyptic nightmare where individual Pokemon have mutated into hideous husks of their former beings, and Protagonist, a generic 30-year old white male with a grizzled beard and brown hair, needs to fight his way through wild mutant Pokemon and crazed survivors who have managed to somehow hold onto their old Pokemon over the years, scrounging to survive in the inhospitable wasteland.

The Elite Four is the last bastion of safety in the land, where all of the healthy and sane people have migrated to over the years, and Protagonist needs to fight his way through multiple linear, contrived paths until he can finally unblock the way to Victory Road, where he will face the ultimate challenge!

Super violent mutant cock-fighting sounds badass, though...

Hm.

Allow me to clarify.

Protagonist[sup]TM[/sup] will be gun-wielding, having lost the ability to obtain Pokeballs and wild Pokemon in their new, mutated forms being unable to be caught and trained. The crazed people who still have Pokemon will use them to try and take down Protagonist[sup]TM[/sup], who is essentially a buff armory on legs. After Protagonist[sup]TM[/sup] kills the Pokemon in sufficiently brutal and gory ways, he will also fatally wound previously mentioned crazed trainers in his quest to reach the Indigo Plateau.

Letting Protagonist[sup]TM[/sup] catch and use his own Pokemon would be too innovative and promote fun. We at EA can't stand for that.

Also, Protagonist[sup]TM[/sup] would be voiced by Nolan North's "Nathan Drake" voice and not the dozens of other voices he can do. If you're gonna have a thirty-something, white, brown-haired Protagonist[sup]TM[/sup] who hasn't shaved in over a fortnight, it has to be Nolan North.

Oh, yes, quite true. Protagonist[sup]TM[/sup] will also cope with his situation by making snarky, quick quips to his trusted traveling companion, Token Female Character[sup]TM[/sup]. We can't be having a game with hideous monsters and an apocalypse become something like survival-horror, after all. We here at EA Games want to broaden the appeal of our beloved franchises.

 

[Terminate421]

- There would be microtransactions for rare candies and the better kinds of balls. (Do the pokemon games still use those? I haven't played one since the original red-blue-yellow.)
.

Yes they still use Pokeballs (Different kinds too, I still highly recommend newer ones, if your not for the gameplay of the classic ones everyone likes, I would highly recommend Pokemon: Conquest)

 

[Phlakes]

Are we really still doing this childish shit? Do you even see how ridiculous this is? I came here to get a break from immaturity, but it looks like it might be time to pack up again if this keeps going.

 

[SweetLiquidSnake]

Aside from all the hate from EA....

They should make a console pokemon game that the battles should be like the Pokemon Trainer character from Smash Bros Brawl. Where you control the pokemon and get pre-set moves and stuff like that. Now I'm sure some characters are useless in that scenario like Metapod and Diglett so maybe having them all is impossible but even having an all-stars fighting game would be awesome. I know I would love to kick some ass as Rhydon or Blastoise.

 

[pspman45]

also, if you lose internet connection at ANY GIVEN TIME FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER, EVEN AT FAULT OF OUR OWN, your game files will be erased! it's not like we can allow hackers in a SINGLE PLAYER GAME, or god forbid, PIRATES

We're talking about EA, not Activision/Blizzard..

Origin does that
If it was made by Blizzard, they would release a real money auction house for pokemon, ehich they would then nerf after you spent your time and money
and if it was the typical Activision Game, there would be yearly releases with no change whatsoever

 

[him over there]

Are we really still doing this childish shit? Do you even see how ridiculous this is? I came here to get a break from immaturity, but it looks like it might be time to pack up again if this keeps going.

yes everyone, no fun shall ever be allowed ever, not even a simple satirical hypothetical. Loosen up man, what's the harm? It isn't like the immaturity and legitimate discussions are mutually exclusive. Why not check out some of the featured content? Might be more in line with what you're looking for.

 

[DeltaEdge]

Hold all the Legendaries hostage as DLC available upon the games release but still only available to be caught at the same point in the game as if it weren't DLC, in other words, you pay for a chance to catch the legendary. Same thing with Master Balls. Remove ev's from the game to "appeal to a wider audience" even though most people don't even know of them thus killing much of the specialization ability in the game, eliminating natures, bumping the accuracy of all moves up to 100%, even 1 hit KO moves, and multi-player gets forcefully added in a month before release with broken controls trying to take advantage of the 3DS camera. It costs money to trade pokemon to other players, and the champion battle gets cut out from the game, forcefully, asks you to pay 10 dollars to unlock the ending, and blacks out and deletes all of your save data if you refuse to pay.

 

[Phlakes]

Are we really still doing this childish shit? Do you even see how ridiculous this is? I came here to get a break from immaturity, but it looks like it might be time to pack up again if this keeps going.

yes everyone, no fun shall ever be allowed ever, not even a simple satirical hypothetical. Loosen up man, what's the harm? It isn't like the immaturity and legitimate discussions are mutually exclusive. Why not check out some of the featured content? Might be more in line with what you're looking for.

There's a difference between fun and childish hatemongering.

See, let's say it was "what if Valve made Pokemon". Someone would probably make the "the third one would never come out joke", which wouldn't have bad intentions and is made with some sort of respect toward Valve, not made out of hate.

But with this, read any reply here and ask yourself why that would be. Those answers pretty much all fall under "because EA is greedy and corrupt and hates their customers".

It's the difference between satirical fun and the equivalent of 3rd graders at the lunch table making fun of some teacher they all hate.

 

[him over there]

Are we really still doing this childish shit? Do you even see how ridiculous this is? I came here to get a break from immaturity, but it looks like it might be time to pack up again if this keeps going.

yes everyone, no fun shall ever be allowed ever, not even a simple satirical hypothetical. Loosen up man, what's the harm? It isn't like the immaturity and legitimate discussions are mutually exclusive. Why not check out some of the featured content? Might be more in line with what you're looking for.

There's a difference between fun and childish hatemongering.

See, let's say it was "what if Valve made Pokemon". Someone would probably make the "the third one would never come out joke", which wouldn't have bad intentions and is made with some sort of respect toward Valve, not made out of hate.

But with this, read any reply here and ask yourself why that would be. Those answers pretty much all fall under "because EA is greedy and corrupt and hates their customers".

It's the difference between satirical fun and the equivalent of 3rd graders at the lunch table making fun of some teacher they all hate.

Is it wrong I fail to see the difference? Yes the jokes about EA are negative but that's only because EA has only negative stereotypes surrounding it. I fail to see this hate mongering.